Search for Significance for Children
OPENING ILLUSTRATION: Several years ago while still in college I decided to get my truck refinanced. My grandparents (who cosigned the truck) and I were getting some information to the bank. After corresponding with a bank representative I had to fax some signed papers to her. On the cover page to one of the faxes I sent I simply wrote a quick thanks for your help note, signed my name and drew a quick smiley face and said have a nice day—God bless you. I never thought about that again until my grandmother called the next couple of days. She told me that the bank rep had called her and was in tears. My grandmother said, the bank rep told us you made her day. I said “how?’ My grandmother responded, because of the happy face you drew. I thought to myself, “this woman doesn’t get out much.” My grandmother put it all in perspective. “You don’t understand”, she said. “She just lost her dad a week ago. Since he lived in England she was not able to go to the funeral. That happy face was the nicest thing anyone has done for her all week.” I realized that then that sometimes the little things in life make the most significance.
But children, obedience to your parents is no small thing to God. It can be one of the most important things you do at home.
It’s obvious that we don’t have to learn how to be disobedient. Proverbs 22:15, says, “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.” Our parents never grounded us for not doing bad things. My mom never said to me, Lynn you have been too darn obedient, go to your room and don’t come out until you break something! God has given you parents for a reason. God has entrusted you to your parents for them to take care of you. One day God will give you children for you to take care of. The primary place where you learn obedience is in the home.
Why is it important for children to obey their parents? Let’s read our text found in Ephesians 6:1-3. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“that is may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
First of all we see that it is the Spiritual thing to do. Notice Paul said, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord…” What Paul is saying here is that for children, obedience to parents is comparable to obedience to God when what their parents are asking them to do agrees with God’s instructions. Now, again there is a key understanding we cannot overlook. Parents, are you giving them reason to obey you in the Lord? In other words is what you are asking them to do in line with what God would have them do? Children, you won’t find anywhere in the Bible an excuse not to clean your room. But you will find in the Bible where you should be living clean! If we want our kids to live right parents must ask themselves the question, “Am I living right?” So if you are a child still living at home you are responsible and accountable for obeying your parents. Your reaction to them should be, “Dad, Mom, unless you tell me to disobey God, I am going to obey you. I may not always like it, and I may not always agree with it. But I am the child, and you are the parents. I want to please God by obeying you.”
Teenagers and children do you know what kind of difference this will make in your home? Do you know what kind of a testimony this would be to your friends! God’s not asking you to agree and like everything your parent does (by the way they don’t like everything you do) but he is asking that you obey their authority over you.
Obeying parents is not only the spiritual thing to do but it is also the right thing to do. Let’s look back at our text. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. It is God’s will. Children, are you looking for God’s will at home? Obey your parents. It is the right thing to do because parents bring children into the world and provide for their care. It’s also the right thing to do because parents have been around longer. Now I know you young people get tired of hearing that but it is true. Now that I’m almost thirty I am beginning to realize how much my parents did know about what I was going through. So, remember obeying God is the right thing to do.
Not only are we called to obey our parents (assuming you are still at home) but we are also called to honor our parents. This is something you should be doing no matter what age you are. Or at least honor their memory. Let’s look back at our text: “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“that is may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
What does it mean to honor? Honor means to value highly, to hold in highest regard. This is definitely not the setting we are living in today. Children are running around with no respect for their parents and so no respect for anyone else. Mark it down, a lack of respect at home will equal a lack of respect in the workplace and in other relationships. So why else is it important to honor your parents?
So you won’t rebel against God’s purpose. When you do not value or honor your parents you are not fulfilling God’s purpose for you. The Old Testament has some pretty strong language when it comes to children who do not honor their parents. Look with me at these verses:
Exodus 21:15,17: “Anyone who attacks his father or his mother must be put to death…Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.”
Leviticus 20:9: “If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death. He has cursed his father or mother, and his blood will be on his own head.”
Deuteronomy 21:18: “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town…Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.”
Now, parents I want you to go home and put these verses up all over the house and see what happens!
I don’t think you ever see a case in Scripture where this ever happened to someone because they didn’t honor their parents. Why not? Because they knew the consequences. That’s not what we are supposed to do today but I think our children don’t realize the consequences of not honoring their parents.
It is important to honor your parents so you won’t cause disruption in the home.
ILLUSTRATION: I remember a time when I was a young kid and my parents were going through some struggles that I was a real thorn in my mother’s side. One day after I was being a smartalec to her she tried to take the belt to me. I laughed at her and ran away from her. Never did I do anything like that before. It brought my mom to tears and I remember her telling a friend, “I don’t know what I am going to do with him.” I’ll never forget those words. I brought disruption to the home but it also brought disruption to my life.
If you don’t learn to honor your parents now it is going to affect your other relationships. Before you get married listen to how your future spouse talks about, and or treats their parents. That should tell you an awful lot about how they are going to treat you.
Let’s talk real briefly about how you can show honor to your parents.
1). Listen carefully to their counsel.
Sometimes they will be wrong but many times they will be right. You can show them honor by the counsel they gave you.
2). Praise them.
In other words look for qualitities and characteristics to praise them about. It might be something like, “Mom and Dad I thank you that you are always there when I am playing soccer.” You might come from a tough background and there isn’t much you can say to praise them. Even if it’s “thanks for always providing me the necessities” it is important that you do that.
3). Spend time with them.
I know it isn’t always cool to hang out with your parents. I remember there was a time when both my parents substituted at my school. I would always say, “Please don’t do anything to embarrass me!” One thing you need to understand and that is, our parents won’t always be around. Both of my parents are dealing with this issue with their parent. My mom’s mom has Alzheimer’s. My mom sees her every weekend. It is painful for my mother because my grandmother doesn’t know from five minutes to the next whether you were there to see her or not.
The Mineola Messenger printed an article entitled "Children and Their Changing Attitude Towards Their Parents." This shows how our attitudes change about our parents throughout life. Let me read it to you:
Age 4: "My parents can do anything"
Age 8: "There might be one or two things they don’t know."
Age 12: "Naturally, my parents don’t understand."
Age 14: "I never realized how hopelessly old fashioned they are."
Age 21: "You would expect them to feel that way; they are out of date."
Age 25: "They come up with a good idea now and then."
Age 30: "I wonder what Mom and Dad think I should do?"
Age 40: "Let’s be patient until we discuss it with our parents."
Age 50: "What would Mom and Dad have thought about it?"
Age 60: "I wish I could talk it over with them one more time."
Contributed by: David Limiero (SermonCentral.com)
These are just a few things you can do to show honor to your parents. They are things we can all do. Back to our text. It is important that I mention that there is the blessing of honoring your parents. “That it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” The Bible promises that those who honor their parents will be blessed with a greater quality of life! Don’t you want God’s blessing on your career, choice of a mate, or other issue in life? Honor your parents because if you don’t, it won’t go well with you. Does this mean I will leave to be 150 years old? No, but what it does mean is that your life won’t be cut off before its time.
I realize that obeying and honoring your parents can be tough, especially if they were not a godly example to you. Listen to this story…
Football practice was over, and Denny was sore from head to toe. Slowly he climbed the graffiti-laden stairway of the aging apartment building.
Suddenly, his mother’s chilling screams pierced the cold, still air. He had heard the sound many times before. Still, a sickening knot formed in Denny’s stomach.
Denny had tried for years, without success, to quell his father’s drunken fits of anger and abuse. Today would be different.
Something snapped inside him. With adrenaline pumping, Denny stormed through the apartment door and tore his dad away from his mother. Hardened by years of football training, he hammered his dad with two quick punches. Then, empowered by years of burning memories, he lifted his father from the floor and threw him through their second-story window.
Amazingly, his father sustained only minor injuries in the fall. But memories of what he’d done haunted Denny through two marriages and a string of friendships shattered by a fiery temper. Alcoholism, something he swore would never destroy his life as it had his father’s, slowly ate away at him as well. Little did Denny realize that if he had any chance at all for a worthwhile life, it would come by learning to honor his dad. Miraculously, even Denny discovered the freedom to be found in honoring his dad. After six years Denny finally consented to attend church with an old high school team-mate and placed his faith in Jesus Christ. Soon he met and married a wonderful Christian widow.
Prompted by his wife and several Christian friends, Denny placed three phone calls to his dad over the course of seven years. Each call began with, “Dad, I love you,” only to be abruptly cut off with a prompt “click” on the other end. Finally, on the fourth attempt, Denny was able to convince his father to listen. In the ensuing moments, he explained how much his life had changed, and how he could forgive and honor his dad now because of all he had been forgiven.
Several months passed. One day his mother called him at the office with the shocking news that his father was near death. Before he could leave for the airport, his mother called again to report that his dad had disappeared. His father had checked into an alcoholic rehabilitation clinic in order to be able to talk with Denny about spiritual things, sober, before he died.
Denny did see his father again, and had the incredible privilege of leading him to the Lord. Several months later, his dad died. Denny waits with great anticipation to see him again, eager to pick up where they left off.
Having found the freedom in giving the gift of honor, Denny now moves through life unencumbered by the chains of hate that once paralyzed him. By choosing to bestow honor, even when it wasn’t deserved, he liberated himself and brought his dad to Christ. For Denny, and for many others, the gift of honor is the gift of life.
Give your parents the gift of honor. You can do it no matter what the circumstance. I want to lead you in a prayer as we close. I want to all of you who are living at home to come down. I’d like to pray for you. If you parents are comfortable would you come up behind them and place your hands on them as we pray. (Gary Smalley)
