Father’s Day
The Divine Mystery of Men
1 Timothy 2:8-15
June 16, 2002
Intro:
A. [illustration]
Three men were talking over coffee.
Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"
The third fellow says, "I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed.
"What happened then?" they asked.
"She said, ‘Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.’"
1. There is a lot of humor about the battle of the sexes and who is going to be in charge in the family.
2. I enjoy that kind of humor, but as we look at the Bible, we see that there is far more at stake in the relationship than the battle over who is going to be in charge.
B. On Father’s Day I usually beat the men up a little and end up trying to encourage them to be godly fathers.
1. This year I’m still going to encourage the men to be godly fathers, but I’m not really going to rough them up like I usually do.
2. Today I want to consider the Divine Mystery of Men and I want to do it by reading one of the most controversial passages of Scripture in the Bible.
C. [read 1 Timothy 2:8-15]
1. Now, who wants to come up here and tackle this one? J
2. Who is right in the battle of the sexes, is it the male chauvinists or radical feminists?
3. As we begin this very tough passage of Scripture I want to do two things: 1) I want to cut through both chauvinist and feminist thinking, and 2) I want us to begin with prayer beseeching the HS to open our hearts, teach us, and give us understanding.
I. Husbands are to practice spiritual disciplines.
1 Timothy 2:8, I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing.
A. I believe that one of the keys to understanding this text is looking at its context…
1. Look at 1 Timothy 2:1-7, I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone-- 2 for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. 3 This is good, and pleases God our Savior, 4 who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. 5 For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, 6 who gave himself as a ransom for all men--the testimony given in its proper time. 7 And for this purpose I was appointed a herald and an apostle--I am telling the truth, I am not lying--and a teacher of the true faith to the Gentiles.
2. Now look at 1 Timothy 3:1-7, Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.
3. As we look at the context of this difficult passage of scripture, we see that it is about men and their spiritual roles.
4. The verses previous to our text are about the priority that we should make of prayer.
5. The verses following this text, we call the qualifications for Elders.
6. The qualifications for Elders are also growth traits that men should be developing in our spiritual lives.
7. So clearly the context is that men need to mature in their spiritual life by practicing these spiritual disciplines.
8. Now I know this text has some things to say about women, but I believe they are more about how to free men to practice these spiritual disciplines than they are about putting women in their place (as many have tried to make them to be).
9. We’ll get to the verses about women, but lets look at verse 8 first.
B. The first thing we need to notice is what verse eight is encouraging men to do.
1. Paul tells Timothy that the men in the church should be lifting up holy hands in prayer.
2. You know its interesting that most of the teaching on this passage has centered on the verses about women, but I’ve never heard any emphasis on men lifting holy hands in prayer.
3. Paul writes seven verses about the importance of prayer…
a. Paul says that requests should be made.
b. Prayers should be prayed.
c. Intercession should be made.
d. And thanks should be given.
e. Paul said that prayers should be prayed for kings and everyone in authority.
f. Paul said that prayers should be prayed for those in authority so that they will make decisions that will continue to allow us to live peaceful and quite live in all godliness and holiness.
g. Paul says lots of prayers like this please God.
h. Why is that?
1) Because we have a difficult time submitting to authority.
2) The Bible teaches that every Christian should live in subjection to government and church authority.
3) The NT knows nothing of Lone Ranger Christians living outside the authority of Church and state.
4) The Bible teaches that rebellion against government or church authority is rebellion against God.
5) Therefore Paul says that Christians should pray for all those in authority.
6) Pray that they will make decisions that enable us to continue to live peaceful, godly lives.
i. But notice that Paul didn’t say to pray that they will make decisions that we will necessarily or make us feel good, but ones that will enable us to continue in our spiritual walk
1) This is because sometimes God puts us through things that are difficult and uncomfortable.
2) But God knows they will enable us to mature in our faith.
3) God calls us to live in subjection to kings and pastors.
j. Therefore Paul says lots of prayers like this please God.
k. Paul says God wants all men to come to a saving knowledge of the truth and therefore we need to be praying for souls to be saved as well.
4. Paul gives all of this instruction about the importance of prayer and then says that he wants men to lift up holy hands in prayer.
5. Clearly, Paul is saying that it is important that men pray.
6. Paul is saying that it is important for men to pray in church and it is important for men to pray at home.
7. And Paul is not just flippantly saying that men should pray, Paul is saying that MEN SHOULD PRAY!
8. Paul is saying that men should be COMMITTED to prayer!
9. Paul is saying that men should be raising their hands in prayer.
10. Paul is saying that men should be raising their hands in prayer together and they should be raising their hands in prayer privately.
11. And oh, are Paul’s words ever important today!
12. Oh that men would get together and lift holy hands in prayer!
13. Oh that men would lift holy hands in prayer in their homes!
14. We’ve got all of this talk about putting women in their place and the point of this Scripture is to put men in OUR place!
15. And our place is on our knees!
C. Then Paul says that this needs to be done "without anger or disputing."
1. The anger (or wrath) part of this has to do with male competitiveness or human self-righteousness and the disputing our spiritual worth (or doubting) part of this come from the masculine tendency to discredit his spiritual viability, because of either failure or condemnation.
2. Now listen to me: men, we have these things in us, don’t we?
3. When we get a bunch of men together there is often competitiveness in us to be better than those around us.
4. There is also competitiveness in us between us and our wives.
5. If you doubt it, then ask your wives; it IS in us.
6. Then there is also the masculine tendency to discredit anything that is spiritual within us.
7. We either remember past spiritual failures or we are afraid of condemnation.
8. Those two things Satan uses to keep us men from advancing in our spiritual lives.
9. And again, THIS is the purpose of this passage of Scripture to get men to make progress in our spiritual lives by practicing spiritual disciplines.
10. But we have to get past this anger, wrath, doubting and disputing our spiritual worth in order to advance spiritually.
11. So when Paul says that we men need to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing, he’s saying this because it is important to our own spiritual development.
12. It is important for our own relationship with God.
13. It is important for our own self-worth.
14. It is important for the church. It is important for our wives.
15. It is important for our children.
16. It is important for our country.
D. Now let me also quickly say here that the Greek words that have been translated "men" and "women" probably should be interpreted as "husband" and "wife."
1. They are translated that way in chapter 3; and I don’t know of any reason why they should be translated as simply men and women here in chapter 2.
2. These teachings will help men and women in general, but I believe they were intended for husbands and wives as you will see throughout the rest of this text.
3. So I believe what Paul was actually saying here in verse eight is, "I want husbands everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing."
4. Husbands are to practice personal spiritual disciplines.
II. Wives are to use their character to aide husbands in their spirituality and not use their appearance to distract them.
1 Timothy 2:9-10, I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
A. Now Paul is confronting another problem that husbands have in maturing spiritually and that is worldly wives.
1. Then, as now, women in the church tended to adopt worldly ways.
2. Today women tend to dress very immodestly.
3. [illustration]
I can still recall a woman who attended this church on an Easter Sunday morning a number of years ago.
She wore a see through white top with no bra (yes, to church on Easter Sunday) and, needless to say, it took little time for the men in the church to be distracted.
She also had on a sheer white skirt that clearly reveal the purple thong that she was wearing.
4. Now believe it or not, those kinds of things distract men from spiritual things.
5. Women can sit and say that men ought to get their minds out of the gutter all they want to, but the truth is that God designed women with a beauty that is intoxicating to men.
6. Most men will say that the most glorious thing that God ever created was the female body.
7. There is nothing "in the gutter" about that because God created us this way and the Bible says that God said it was very good.
8. But there is a time and a place for that and there is a time and a place for spiritual matters.
B. Now does Paul say that women should cover their entire body and faces like the Islam women do?
1. No Paul says they should dress modestly: men have a good enough imagination on our own we don’t need to see bare skin above the knees and below the shoulders.
2. We don’t need to see tight-fitting clothes that reveal the size and shape of everything.
3. Paul said women need to dress decently and properly.
4. Paul said don’t wear flashy, expensive clothes.
C. What Paul is saying here is that character is far more important than beauty especially when it comes to helping men mature spiritually.
1. Paul is saying that women should work harder at adorning themselves with good deeds than fancy clothes.
2. And in the broader context of all of this, Paul is saying that if men are to develop spiritually, women need to concentrate on developing their character instead of their tan.
3. Women, can I tell you something?
a. You’re already physically beautiful because you reflect the beauty of God in your appearance.
b. So don’t spend so much time worrying about clothes, make-up, jewelry, tans, and body fat because you’re already beautiful.
c. Don’t dress like a slob, but spend more time working on developing your own spiritual disciplines than you do on your looks.
4. Wives should use their character to aid husbands in their spirituality and not use their appearance to distract us.
III. Wives are to live peaceful lives to aide husbands in their spirituality.
1 Timothy 2:11-12, A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.
A. Another problem that Paul addresses that men have with developing spiritually is there wives dominating them.
1. Now I am not going to go into all of the reasons why many women dominate their husbands, I just want to say that it is not right.
2. But I also want to say that it is also not right for husbands to dominate their wives.
3. You see, God really doesn’t want men or women to dominate the relationship.
4. I’ll show you Scripture to back this in moment.
5. But what Paul is addressing here is not necessarily whether the women are wearing the pants in the family, but whether the wife is wearing the pants in the spiritual areas of the relationship.
6. Often times wives will suffocate their husbands spiritually and it is therefore difficult for them to grow.
7. I do not believe that Paul is telling women to sit down and shut up in church.
8. I’ll give you Scriptural evidence for this in a moment as well.
9. But I believe what Paul is saying to women is back off and let the men have some room.
10. Let the men have some air to breath and give them the chance to develop spiritually.
11. No nagging and complaining, no belittling; just back off and give us some space.
B. Now, why do I believe Paul is not telling women to sit down and shut up in church?
1. Well first of all, I’ve already told you that the Greek words "gune" and "aner" mean wives and husbands.
2. So first of all we see that Paul is saying here, "A wife should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a wife to teach or to have authority over her husband; she must remain silent."
3. This is more between a husband and wife than it is for women in general.
4. But there is another word here that is interesting as well: hesuchia.
a. Paul said a wife should learn in hesuchia and full submission. I do not permit a wife to teach or to have authority over her husband; she must be hesuchia.
b. Notice that in verse eleven hesuchia is translated quietness and in verse twelve hesuchia is translated silent.
c. But look back at verse two; hesuchia is also in verse two.
d. Do you see it? If you guessed it was the word "quiet", you missed it.
e. The Greek word translated quiet in verse two is "eremos."
f. Hesuchia is translated "peaceful" in verse two.
g. Yes, I believe there’s some Scripturally inaccurate, chauvinistic translation here.
h. Why would Paul use the word "eremos" for "quiet" and the word "hesuchia" for "peaceful" in verse two and then turn around and use the word hesuchia for "quietness" and "silent" in verses eleven and twelve?
i. I don’t believe he would.
j. I believe that the word hesuchia should be translated the same way all three times.
5. So now if we translate eleven and twelve appropriately Paul says, "A wife should learn in peacefulness and full submission. I do not permit a wife to teacher or to have authority over her husband; she must remain peaceful."
6. And in the broader context of all this Paul is saying, "Wives, many of you are spiritually smothering your husbands. Back off and give your husband some room to breath. If you’d just quit breathing down his neck about spiritual things he just might make some progress. Don’t argue, belittle, berate, or shove spiritual matters down your husband’s throat."
7. Certainly makes more sense than telling women to sit down and shut up, doesn’t it?
C. Actually, I believe Paul is teaching the same thing Peter did…
1. 1 Peter 3:1-6, Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
2. Wives are to live peaceful lives in order to aide their husband’s spiritually.
IV. Husbands must confront their fears of spirituality.
1 Timothy 2:13-14, For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.
A. Yes, these two verses are often used to prove why women need to sit down and shut up and to put women in their place.
1. But we have already seen that this is not what the previous verses are about and now we shall see that this is not what these two verse are about.
2. Remember, Paul is trying to free men to grow spiritually.
3. So what is Paul saying in these two verses?
4. What does Paul mean by Adam being formed first?
5. Does this mean that men are more important than women?
6. Why does it matter that Adam was not the one who was deceived?
7. Does that mean that men are smarter than the easily deceived women?
B. First let’s consider the question of which gender is more important…
1. Look at Genesis 1:26-28, Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
2. God said let us make man (literally mankind)…
3. …and let THEM (both genders) rule…over all the earth…
4. God blessed THEM and said to them…Rule…over every living creature…
5. Which gender did God create with the most authority? Neither!
6. God originally created both genders to be equal.
7. So Paul is not saying that either gender is more important than the other, however…
C. Genesis 3:16, To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."
1. After they had sinned and God pronounced judgement on them, God said the woman’s desire would be for her husband and he would rule over her.
2. As a result of the fall of man, men and women lost their equal standing and God placed the male over the female.
3. BUT the question is why are men first?
4. Are men first because women are not as smart and more easily deceived?
5. Are men first because Adam didn’t sin and only Eve?
6. Are men first because even though Adam did sin, his sin wasn’t as bad as Eve being deceived?
7. Or did God have another purpose for this men first plan?
D. We should not misunderstand and think that Eve’s deception was somehow worse than Adam’s disobedience.
1. Romans 5:12-19, Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned-- 13 for before the law was given, sin was in the world. But sin is not taken into account when there is no law. 14 Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who was a pattern of the one to come. 15 But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! 16 Again, the gift of God is not like the result of the one man’s sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification. 17 For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ. 18 Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men. 19 For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.
2. You see we cannot make the mistake of thinking that Eve’s deception was worse than Adam’s disobedience.
3. So men are not first because Eve’s deception was worse that Adam’s disobedience.
4. That is not the reason men are first.
E. Genesis 3:6, When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
1. Notice the words, "who was with her."
2. What does that mean?
3. Does it mean that Adam was right there with her watching and listening to Eve being deceived?
4. Did he personally hear the words of Satan and watch Eve’s eyes glaze over?
5. Was he just standing there watching to see if she would actually, physically die?
6. Or was Adam just there somewhere in the Garden and came along after she had eaten and although he clearly saw through the deception, still willfully disobeyed?
7. Whatever happened, the phrase "who was with her" screams of failed responsibility on the man’s side of the partnership.
8. What if Adam had intervened, and shaken Even back into reality? Why didn’t he?
9. Why didn’t he himself refuse to eat?
10. Could Adam have saved them from the fall?
11. Could Adam have saved the world from the fall?
12. Such questions are moot, because he didn’t do it and the rest is history.
F. Adam didn’t save his wife, but God DOES call us men to save our wives!
1. Ephesians 5:25-32, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
2. Men, this is why we are first!
3. We are to love our wives like Christ loves the church!
4. We are to give up ourselves in order to make our wives look good on judgment day.
5. We are to make her holy.
6. We are to cleanse her with the Word.
7. We are to present to God holy and blameless—just as Christ loves the church!
8. We are to take the lead in redeeming ourselves and our wives!
9. We are to take the lead in redeeming our children!
10. God has called us to do what Adam didn’t do!
11. God has called us to love our wives enough to protect them from the evil one!
12. Yes, men are first.
13. We weren’t created to be first, we were created to be equal.
14. But because of sin, we are first.
15. And the reason we are first has nothing to do with men being better than women!
16. It has to do with the fact that God has given us the responsibility of saving our wives and children!
17. It has to do with the fact that Adam didn’t step in to protect deceived Eve, but God is calling us to love our wives today enough to protect them.
18. We are to be first in giving up ourselves.
19. We are to be first in being holy.
20. We are to be first in practicing spiritual disciplines.
21. We are to be first in teaching the Scriptures.
22. We are to be first in leading the way to heaven!
23. We are to be first in leading the way back to our created state of being equals.
24. That can’t totally happen here on earth, but the last verse says it will get us to heaven.
V. Husbands and wives will reap the rewards of practicing spiritual disciplines.
1 Timothy 2:15, But women will be saved through childbearing--if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.
A. Again this is another verse that has been used to put women in their place.
1. Many a misguided preacher has said women should stay home, be quiet, stay submissive, and have babies.
2. However, again, this is not what Paul is saying.
B. Clearly, this is the climax of what Paul has been teaching.
1. God wants men to take the lead in redeeming their wives and if they both practice these spiritual disciplines, they will be rewarded.
2. There are two verbs here saved and continue.
3. The KJV actually is more accurately translated here because it gets the verb and subjects correct.
4. In the Greek, the first subject and verb are singular and the second subject and verb are plural.
5. The woman or wife is saved if they continue.
6. The wife is saved if the husband and wife continue.
7. The wife will be saved if the husband and wife continue in faith, love, and holiness with propriety.
8. These are the rewards of a husband and wife pursuing godliness together.
9. And yes, this will be evidenced in our sexual life as well—that is a major part of becoming one flesh.
10. When a husband and wife are practicing these spiritual disciplines together, the will enjoy a gratifying sexual life.
11. 1 Corinthians 7 says that husbands and wives should be having sex on a regular basis and when husbands and wives are practicing these spiritual disciplines, we will reap the rewards our sex life, in our spiritual life, in their children and in eternity.
C. Do you see that this not about which gender should be in charge, but about getting each other to heaven?
1. Do you see that we were created equally?
2. Do you see that God has placed men first in order to try to gain back what we lost in the Garden of Eden?
3. Do you see that this passage is really about encouraging men to take their place in redeeming their wives?
4. Do you see that this is really about releasing men to grow spiritually?
5. I want to close by going back to Ephesians 5 and reading both the sections about husbands and wives this time.
6. But I also want us to notice the verse right before which for some reason gets skipped when this passage is normally read.
7. Listen now beginning with Ephesians 5:21: Ephesians 5:21-33, Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Conclusion:
A. [illustration]
The story is told of a prince and his family who were captured by an enemy king.
When brought before the enemy king, the prisoner was asked, "What will you give me if I release you?"
"Half of my wealth," was the prince’s reply.
"And if I release your children?"
"Everything I possess."
And if I release your wife?"
Your Majesty, for her I would give myself," said the prince.
The king was so moved by the prince’s devotion to his family that he freed them all.
As they returned home the prince said to his wife, "Wasn’t the king a handsome man?"
With a look of deep love for her husband, she said to him, "I didn’t notice. I could keep my eyes only on the one who was willing to give himself for my sake."
1. Men if we love our lives with this self-sacrificing, redeeming kind of love, most of our wives will have little difficulty in submitting to us in everything.
2. This is the kind of love that God is asking us to have in our marriages.
3. This is the kind of love that most of want in our marriages.
B. Now before you say that its too late for your marriage to be like God wants it, let me tell you that that is Satan telling you to doubt the power of God in your life.
1. Are you going to go along with Satan’s plan or are you going to fight to save yourself and your wife?
2. Are you going to give yourself to Christ and then to your wife?
3. I believe that every man here needs to take his wife by the hand and bring her up her and start praying that God will use you to make your wife look absolutely beautiful on judgement day.
4. That you would give your life for your wife.
5. That you would give yourself for your wife.
6. That you would take your place in the marriage instead of trying to put her in her place.
7. That you would take the lead in your family in prayer and faith and love and holiness.
8. That you would begin to grow into the godly man described in chapter 3.
9. And we give God the glory for what He is about to do!
