There Is Hope In Life’s Darkest Hour
Luke 7:11-17
Introduction: Funeral customs ( Http://library.thinkquest.org/16665/burialframe.htm.)
Egypt-bodies were mummified with spices, herbs, and chemicals.
Maoris (New Zealand)-bodies are burned in huts which are locals for elaborate celebrations.
Australia-the Aboriginals left dead bodies in trees.
Parsees-of Bombay, India used to leave their dead on top of towers to be eaten by vultures.
Mexico-the dead are commemorated in special "Days of the Dead". Offerings are made to the deceased, and survivors visit grave sites, sitting on them in celebration of life. Some arrange elaborate flower ornaments. While others yet place an extra set at the table for dead loved ones with special food cooked. There’s a joke about the event that tells of two people visiting a cemetery, one putting flowers by a grave and the other putting food near one. "When is your dead one going to come up to eat the food?" asks the first person. "When yours comes up to smell the flowers," replies the second.
Setting
I. Emptiness
A. Cultural Distinctions
1. Women- Socially unequal with men. Less than men, but more than a slave. "All the hard work at home certainly fell to her; she looked after the flocks, worked in the fields, cooked the food, did the spinning, and so on. All this apparent drudgery, however, far from lowering her status, earned her consideration."
(de Vaux, Roland. Ancient Israel: Two Volumes, Volume 1: Social Institutions. (McGraw-Hill, New York, 1965). p. 39.)
Not much has changed in 2000 years. Today women still: cook meals, grocery shop, care for children-cleaning, PTA, get oil changed in the car, clean house, laundry, etc.
The Jewish Law "commanded equal honour to be given to father and mother. The Wisdom books insist on the respect due to ones mother."
(Ibid., p. 40.)
As for family life "an Israelite wife was loved and listened to by her husband, and treated by him as an equal."
(Ibid.)
* A woman’s worth lay in that of her husband-she was the wife of so and so. She may have been the wind in his sails, but he was still in the forefront. Without the husband she became no more than a blowing wind.
Upon the death of ones husband a women fell in position. "Widows, especially those with children to support, were in a piteous condition. They were ... commended to the charity of the people."
(Ibid.)
B. Naomi’s Story (The Book of Ruth)
Ruth 1:1-5 Ruth-daughter-in-law to Naomi
Naomi-wife of a farmer, Elimelech
Suffered drought=loss of a job
Oil market, tech market, etc.
Moved family elsewhere
Naomi-husband dies, sons die
*financial flow has been disrupted
*no inheritance, no Social Security, no Mutual Funds, no Money Market accounts, bonds, stocks, or IRA’s.
*living empty handed and alone
*returns home- the only place she can go; to live off of the generous handouts of her family- to survive by the grain Ruth brings home.
Leviticus 19:9-20 "When you harvest your crops, do not harvest the grain along the edges of your fields, and do not pick up what the harvesters drop. It is the same with your grape crop—do not strip every last bunch of grapes from the vines, and do not pick up the grapes that fall to the ground. Leave them for the poor and the foreigners who live among you, for I, the Lord, am your God."
( Holy Bible, New Living Translation, (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.) 1996. (cf. Leviticus 23:22.)
Deuteronomy 24:19 "When you are harvesting your crops and forget to bring in a bundle of grain from your field, don’t go back to get it. Leave it for the foreigners, orphans, and widows. Then the Lord your God will bless you in all you do."
(Ibid.)
II. The Desperation Of Losing It All
A. Five Stages Of Grief
( Http://www.aomc.org/HOD2/general/stress-THE-3.html. For more information about our services, e-mail us at info@aomc.org Or Call Health On Demand (607) 737-4499 or, (800) 952-AOMC Weekdays 8am to 8pm. © Arnot Ogden Medical Center, 1996 © 1990 by Parlay International Emeryville, CA All rights reserved)
At some point in our lives, each of us faces the loss of someone or something dear to us. The grief that follows such a loss can seem unbearable, but grief is actually a healing process. Grief is the emotional suffering we feel after a loss of some kind. The death of a loved one, loss of a limb, [discovery of a terminal illness, or a disorder such as a parent or spouse developing Alzheimer’s,] even intense disappointment can cause grief Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has named five stages of grief people go through following a serious loss.
1. Denial & Isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
Sometimes people get stuck in one of the first four stages. Their lives can be painful until they move to the fifth stage - acceptance.
1. Denial and Isolation.
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.
[Our response is to cry out, "This can’t be happening to me!"]
2. Anger.
The grieving person may then be furious: at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she’s dead), at the world, [or even at God,] for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.
3. Bargaining.
Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"
"I’ll never lie again, if you’ll ease the hurt"
"I’ll be kind to everyone I meet, if you stop the pain"
"I’ll never say a bad word again, just make it all go away"
4. Depression.
The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.
[Probably the most damaging stage of all.] "Depression, sometimes called the common cold of psychiatry, affects an estimated 10% of all Americans." ( "Time." (Volume 157, Number 4, January 29, 2001.) p. G4.) And effects an estimated 340 million people world wide. Of this 340 million, 10-15% will take their own lives. ( Http://www.depression-net.com)
The Four Effects of Depression
(Collins, Garry R., PhD. Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide, Revised Edition. (Word Publishing, Dallas, 1988). p. 110.)
Depression leads to any or all of the following effects. In general, the deeper the depression the more intense the effects.
1. Unhappiness and Inefficiency. Depressed people frequently feel "blue," hopeless, self-critical, and miserable. As a result they lack enthusiasm, are indecisive, and sometimes have little energy for doing even simple things. Life thus is characterized by inefficiency, underachievement, and an increased dependence on others.
2. Physical Illness. Weakened immunity
3. Low Self-Esteem and Withdrawal.
4. Suicide.
Grief And Stress
During grief, it is common to have many conflicting feelings. Sorrow, anger, loneliness, sadness, shame, anxiety, and guilt often accompany serious losses. Having so many strong feelings can be very stressful.
Yet denying the feelings, and failing to work through the five stages of grief, is harder on the body and mind than going through them. When people suggest "looking on the bright side," or other ways of cutting off difficult feelings, the grieving person may feel pressured to hide or deny these emotions. Then it will take longer for healing to take place.
B. Psalm 88
God, you’re my last chance of the day.
I spend the night on my knees before you.
Put me on your salvation agenda;
take notes on the trouble I’m in.
I’ve had my fill of trouble;
I’m camped on the edge of hell.
I’m written off as a lost cause,
one more statistic, a hopeless case.
Abandoned as already dead,
one more body in a stack of corpses,
And not so much as a gravestone—
I’m a black hole in oblivion.
You’ve dropped me into a bottomless pit,
sunk me in a pitch-black abyss.
I’m battered senseless by your rage,
relentlessly pounded by your waves of anger.
You turned my friends against me,
made me horrible to them.
I’m caught in a maze and can’t find my way out,
blinded by tears of pain and frustration.
I call to you, GOD; all day I call.
I wring my hands, I plead for help.
Are the dead a live audience for your miracles?
Do ghosts ever join the choirs that praise you?
Does your love make any difference in a graveyard?
Is your faithful presence noticed in the corridors of hell?
Are your marvelous wonders ever seen in the dark?
your righteous ways noticed in the Land of No Memory?
I’m standing my ground, GOD, shouting for help,
at my prayers every morning, on my knees each daybreak.
Why, GOD, do you turn a deaf ear?
Why do you make yourself scarce?
For as long as I remember I’ve been hurting;
I’ve taken the worst you can hand out, and I’ve had it.
Your wildfire anger has blazed through my life;
I’m bleeding, black and blue.
You’ve attacked me fiercely from every side,
raining down blows till I’m nearly dead.
You made lover and neighbor alike dump me;
the only friend I have left is Darkness.
(Peterson, Eugene H. The Message: The New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs. (Navpress, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 1995). pp. 668-669, Psalm 88.)
5. Acceptance.
This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.
III. A Rekindling Of Hope
The widow had lost it all, and yet Christ says to her, "Do not weep."
If your house is on fire, warm yourself by it. -Spanish Proverb
Thomas Edison invented the microphone, the phonograph, the incandescent light, the storage battery, talking movies, and more than 1000 other things. December 1914 he had worked for 10 years on a storage battery. This had greatly strained his finances. This particular evening spontaneous combustion had broken out in the film room. Within minutes all the packing compounds, celluloid for records and film, and other flammable goods were in flames. Fire companies from eight surrounding towns arrived, but the heat was so intense and the water pressure so low that the attempt to douse the flames was futile. Everything was destroyed. Edison was 67. With all his assets going up in a whoosh (although the damage exceeded two million dollars, the buildings were only insured for $238,000 because they were made of concrete and thought to be fireproof), would his spirit be broken?
The inventor’s 24-year old son, Charles, searched frantically for his father. He finally found him, calmly watching the fire, his face glowing in the reflection, his white hair blowing in the wind. "My heart ached for him," said Charles. "He was 67--no longer a young man--and everything was going up in flames. When he saw me, he shouted, ’Charles, where’s your mother?’ When I told him I didn’t know, he said, ’Find her. Bring her here. She will never see anything like this as long as she lives.’" The next morning, Edison looked at the ruins and said, "There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew." Three weeks after the fire, Edison managed to deliver the first phonograph.
(Swindoll, Hand Me Another Brick, Thomas Nelson, 1978, pp. 82-3, and Bits and Pieces, November, 1989, p. 12.)
Conclusion: How many of us are stuck in the first four stages of grief, unwilling to take that final step? Unwilling to accept the healing that Christ is offering? How many of us are still struggling with the grief of divorce, the loss of a loved one, the embitterment of a sour relationship, the pangs of caretaking?
