"ONE WOMEN MAN"
TITUS 1:6
In doing research for this sermon I came upon some disturbing statistics. There are about 2,344,000 marriages preformed annually in the US. There are 1,150,000 divorces annually in the United States. That is just under half. The likelihood of a new marriage ending in divorce is over 43%. Not a good statistic.
Many of those divorces come when one of the spouses is unfaithful to the other. One author writes, "Most experts do consider the "educated guess" that at the present time some 50 to 60% of husbands and 45 to 55 percent of wives have an extramarital affair before they reach the age of 40."
Another author writes, "Conservative estimates are that 60% of men and 40% of women will have an extramarital affair." Since it is unlikely that all the men and women having affairs would be married to each other, we are looking at approximately 80% of all marriage one or the other spouse as had an affair.
That is an unbelievable statistic. What is frightening is that the numbers for those who claim to born again Christians is about the same for those who claim no relationship with God. In others words the church is imitating the world rather then impacting the world.
It was Frances Schaffer who said, "Look at what the world is doing today, in seven years the church will be doing the same." In the area of marriage, divorce and infidelity Mr. Schaffer is right on.
We live in a society where cheating on your mate is no big deal. Marriage has become somewhat like a bic lighter, once the flame dies you throw it away. When asked why we are have affairs one expect stated,
"Affairs are glamorized in movies, soap operas, romance novels and TV shows of all kinds. Public disclosure of public figures having affairs is headline news because we are fascinated by hearing of others affairs. People are bombarded with images of women as sex objects in advertising and marketing campaigns. Over and over, the messages to men is that the good life includes a parade of sexy of women in their lives. Women inadvertently buy into this image and strive to achieve it."
But folks, God has a different way. God’s way is faithfulness, God’s way is for a man and a women to remain married throughout their life time, and to be faithful to one another. That is what I want us to look at this morning.
Please turn with me to our passage today, Titus chapter 1:6. That would be page 1032 in your pew Bible. Remember verse 6 begin giving the qualifications of an elder in the church something we noted for 1 Tim 3:1 that all men should desire.
"if a man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination."
Last week we looked at what it meant to be blameless. Not perfect but above reproach, above accusation. We are as stated in 1 Peter all called to be blameless.
Remember also that Paul begin his discussion on qualification by discussing ones home life. First elders are to be blameless, then Paul states, "the husband of one wife". That is the phrase I want us to focus on this morning. The Greek here literally reads, "one wife’s husband".
Now there are a couple of things that we can gather or learn from this one statement. First of all notice that Paul refers to elders as being men, being husbands of one wife. He does not allow for the interchanging of genders here. He is not saying elders can be the "wife of one husband" Or the "husband of one wife", eldership in the church according to the Word of God, is for men alone.
Now we live in a society that is big into women liberation. And I know many people who would be offended by what I just stated, and maybe you are. But whether people are offended or not the Word of God is quite clear that women should not be elders in the church, they should not be pastors in a church, in fact that should not hold any position of spiritual (key word there) authority over a men. Now if anybody has a problem with that, they need to take it up with God, because He wrote the rules not me.
Paul writing under the influence of the Holy Spirit states in 1 Tim 2:12; "And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence." Paul is speaking of Spiritual authority here.
Now I am in no way saying that women are not equal to men, because in God’s eyes we are all equal regardless of our gender, color, ethnicity, Gal. 3:28 tells us: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
We are all equal before God, but God has called men and women to different roles in the church and in the home.
In the secular world women should get the same pay for the same job as men, if a women happens to be your boss then you must submit to her as your boss. Women should have the same rights as men, neither I nor do I believe Paul would say differently.
Paul is not addressing how things should be in the secular world, he is address how things should be in the church of God, and in the church women are not to be elders. This does not make men better or worst. It does not make women 2nd class citizens, far from it.
Men and women have different roles in the church, and we will get to what the women’s role is as we go along in Titus, but neither role is more important than the other. The roles God as set up in the church and the home I might add, are not competing roles but complementing roles.
So from this and numerous other verses we can see that God has deemed that men and men alone are to be elders or pastors. Now I am not going to go down to the Methodist church and say hey you have a women pastor and you should change and get a man. Why? Because it is none of my business how they choose to govern their church. I will say one thing you will never see is a pulpit exchange.
Now that we have that bit of business out of the way, there is three ways of looking at what Paul is saying when he states that an elder must be "a husband of one wife".
First he could be saying that an elder must be married. Some have read this to mean that in order to be a pastor or elder you must be married. This is how the Russian Orthodox church understands it.
But if this were the case that Paul would be disqualifying himself from the being and elder as well as the Lord Jesus Christ, as neither of them were married. So we can pretty much be sure that Paul is not referring to the requirement of being married.
The second way in which we can look at this passage is that Paul is forbidding a man whose wife as passed away and he has remarried from holding the office of elder, or a man who as been divorced.
First of all marriage to a second wife after the first has passed away is no where in the Scripture declared to be improper. In fact marriage for a widow to a man is expressedly declared to be ok in 1 Cor. 7:39 which reads; "A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord."
Now as far as remarriage after divorce goes that would be something that would have to be read into the text. Paul is not discussing marriage and divorce, but qualifications for an elder. We also need to remember that according to the Lord Jesus there are legitimate reasons for getting divorced.
The third way to look at this is I believe the correct way, for it is the most nature reading, and the most plain reading. That is plainly speaking, being a one women man, being faithful to one wife. Polygamy was quite common at the time Paul writes to Titus. So the most reasonable reading and understanding of this passage would be that in order to be a elder one could not be a polygamist. This also in all likelihood be the way in which Paul original readers would have taken "husband of one wife" to mean.
We can understand this as meaning that an elder needs to be an example of faithfulness to his one and only partner. We can see this a commitment to his wife.
In other words Paul is looking for men to elders who are of unquestionable morality, one who is entirely true and faithful to his wife. This thought goes hand and hand with what we talked about last week concerning blamelessness.
Paul is looking toward faithfulness because if a man cannot be faithful to his wife, he will not be faithful to Christ’s church. Just as man is to be committed to his relationship with is wife, he should be committed to his relationship with the body of Christ.
Now many who have looked at this passage seem to get caught up in the "one wife" phrase and what that means. Do have to be married? Can a man serve having remarried after the death of his first wife, or having been divorced at some point in his life? But I believe that focus is misplaced. I believe that we ought not to focus so much on the "one wife" as we should on the "husband" part.
Because I believe that Paul is alluding to a certain type of husband here. One that first and foremost should be faithful, yet there is much much more to being a Christian husband. I believe that Paul would have the elders be examples of what a Christian husband ought to be. Not only in the area of fidelity but other areas as well.
The are several duties of a Christian husband. I want to take a look at some of those. The first to be mentioned is headship. We spoke of how we are all leaders in one sense or another. Christian men should be the head of their households, they should be the leader of the home.
Two verse I want to point out first Eph 5:23; "For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body."
And 1 Cor. 11:13, "But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God."
Now some may find these passages offensive, but whether we like them or not they are part of the word of God and we must accept them and abide my them if we call ourselves Christians.
These verses are not teaching that men have the right to lord over their wives, but simple stated that have a distinct role in the home and that role is a leadership role. Men if you are not the head of your home, if you not the leader of your household, then you are not following the Word of God.
I am not suggesting that a husband should ignore the opinions of his wife. Decisions that are made need to be made with the wife’s impute. They need to be discussed between a husband and wife, but in the end the husband is responsible for making the decision, and God will hold the husband accountable for what ever decision are made, because God has deemed the husband to be the head of the home. Whether the husband accepts that role or not, God will still hold him accountable.
Also men may I remind you that just as the Scripture state as you are head of the home, Christ is head over you. If you get no respect as head of the home, ask yourself how must respect I am giving Christ as head of my life. If you expect your household to submit to your leadership then you best be submitting yourself to the headship of Christ in your live.
As head of the home you need to be leading them in going to SS, leading them in attending church, leading them in prayers, praying with your and wife and children. Leading the in learning the Word of God. Lead them as Christ would lead. Keeping in mind that as a leader you WILL be held accountable to God for things such as the physical as well as spiritual condition of your family.
So the type of husband that Paul states should be a elder is one who is head of his household, as Christ is head of him.
Another aspect of a Christian husband is that He is bound to his wife for life! Listen to Eph. 5:31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
Those word’s come from Gen. 2:24 and are repeat four times in the Scriptures. They basically mean that a husband and wife are to be stuck together like glue. A husband and wife are to be one flesh.
This concept is something that is rejected in our society. Marriages today are not lifetime commitments but trial runs. If you do not like what you got you get divorced and try again. But that is not God’s way, He states "the two shall become one flesh". How many men would cut out their eye is they did like color. If I hit my thumb with a hammer and it causes me some pain I am not going to cut it off. If I stub my toe I am not going to cut of my leg because my toe is causing me pain.
Yet that is what divorce is, it is cutting off part of yourself. God states a husband and wife become one flesh, and divorce cuts away part of that flesh.
So the type of husband Paul is speaking of here is one who understands that he and his wife are one flesh, they bound together by marriage.
The third thing about a Christian husband I want to point out is that he must have knowledge of his wife, her likes and dislikes, what make here happy, what makes her sad and so forth.
1 Peter 3:7 tells us; "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them (wives) with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."
Husband you should know your wife. You should (as much as possible that is) understand her. Her needs may be different then yours, her wants may be different then yours , and as the weaker vessel (as Peter states) you need to honor her.
Husband you need to know your wife, you can not honor her, you cannot please her and make her happy unless you do understand her.
You need to understand what a great gift she is. As Proverbs 18:22 states; "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD."
So the type of husband Paul speaks of in Titus 1:6 understands his wife, as knowledge of his wife, that he may honor her.
The last thing I want to mention concerning what a Christian husband needs to be like, is that he needs to love his wife. Not as the world loves but as Christ loves.
Eph 5:25; "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,"
Also Eph 5:28-29: "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church."
Those two passage sum up how every husband loves his wife, just as Christ loved the church. Christ gave himself for the church. It was Christ who died for us on that cross that those who place their faith in Him as Lord and Saviour can have eternal life. He came down from heaven humbled himself, became a servant, to the point where he gave himself to die for us.
That is an example to husband, that is how we are to love our wives. We are to humble ourselves, we are to become their servants, we are to nourish our wives, we are to cherish our wives, just as Christ nourished and cherished the church.
I will be the first to admit that I do not love my wife as Christ loves her. I am not saying that I do not try. And I pray all the time for strength to love Darleen as Christ loves.
Husbands you ought to do the same. Pray that you could love your wives as Christ loves them. Love them with a self-sacrificing love, love them where you only want what is best for them, not best for you, but for them. Love them with a love that can withstand anything.
Romans 8:38-39 tells us something of the love Christ has for us; "For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Gentleman that is the love that you need to have towards your wife. I love that NOTHING can separate, a love that nothing this world throws at you can break apart.
So Paul is speaking of a husband that loves His wife as Christ loves the church.
In closing we have seen that there is quite a bit we can learn for that one little phrase "husband of one wife". Important things. Things that we need to be reminded of every once in awhile.
So husbands this call goes out to you. Be the type of husband God would have you to be, strive to a husband that would be a good example to others. Strive to be a husband that would qualify you to be an elder, and to God be the glory!
Let us Pray
