HONORABLE PARENTING
TITUS 1:6
One of the greatest gifts that God gives us is our children. Having children is something I would not have missed for the world. Words cannot communicate the love I have for my girls, and I know those here with children feel the same way about their children. Watching the grow and learn is a great experience. Although at times it saddens me to think that someday they will be all grown up and will move out and begin their own families.
It is hard for me to believe that my oldest is in jr. high and is no a young lady, and that my youngest is already in school.
Someone once said the only thing you can take to heaven is your children. Children are certainly a great blessing from God, although we might not always think so.
Bring up children is a great privilege, it brings with it many joys, but it also has great responsibilities. The world seeks to take your children, to take them down roads you do not want them to go. And while there are many influences in our children’s lives, peers, teachers, and so forth, God places the responsibility of on the parents to make sure that children are brought up right. As Eph 6:4 states, "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."
In that same chapter in verse 2-3 children are told to honor their parents. "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth."
Now while you may notice the Scripture does not give any other option to children, they are to honor their parents, it does not say honor them only if you think they are good parents, it just says to honor them. It does not matter what type of parents you have, God tells you to honor them.
But that in fact does not change the fact that parents need to raise their children in such a way that they are deserving of honor. There is such a thing as honorable parenting. And it is something you will not find in a Dr. Spock book, or in the psychological section at the book store, but it is found write here in God’s Word. How to raise your children is right here. That is what I want to talk about for the next couple weeks.
But how will we get there? Please turn with me to our passage for today, it will once again be Titus 1:6. That is page 1032 in your pew bibles. As you turn their keep in mind the context of the passage. Paul is giving Titus the qualifications for the elders of the church. These are qualifications that will lead to a healthy church, in turn lead to a healthy home, which enable the church to better impact the world for Jesus Christ.
"if a man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination."
We discussed what it was to be blameless, that is not perfect but above reproach. We talked last week concerning be husband of one wife, that if faithfulness, if a man cannot be faithful to his wife, he will not be faithful to the church.
Paul now begin to talk about parenting, what I would say is honorable parenting, Christian parenting. What I want to do is first take a look at the verse in particular, and then take a look at parenting in general.
First Paul state that the elders children should be "faithful children" Or we can say "full of faith". In others words an elders children should be believers. An elders children should have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour.
Because if a man cannot win his own family to the Lord then how can he be expected to win outsiders. If his lifestyle is not one that his own children do want to emulate, then why would others want to follow it?
So according to Paul in order for a man to be an elder his children need to be saved. Now the problem lies in the fact that we cannot know someone’s heart.
There are people who act saved and who are not, and people who do not acted saved who are. So this is a tuff call. If the child denies the Lord outright, then the elder is disqualified.
Now before we go on I want to make is clear that we are not speaking of grown children who are out of the home. Paul speaking in 1 Tim 3 states "one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?);"
From this we can gather that Paul is speaking of those children who are residing in the home of the parents not those who are moved away and have formed their own households.
Paul goes on to say "having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination."
Let us deal with those two words, "diss-i-pa-tion" and "insubordination".
Now the Greek word translated "dissipation" is
"ASO-TIA." It literally means "wastefulness" or "wasteful extremes". It denotes a person who is given to wild extravagance and self-indulgence.
This is a word that would describe the prodigal son. You know that story. The son wanted his inheritance, which he got from his father. He then proceed to spent it on wine, women, and song. Wasting it away on self-indulgence. Only to find himself pleading with his father to take him back when all the money ran out.
That is the type of person Paul as in mind. I child that only thinks of him or herself. No regard for their parents authority. Who is ungrateful for the things they have. Who desires more and more to satisfy their own lusts. A child whose main focus is themselves.
Look at that next word, "Insubordination. We all know what that means. It refers to one who that "refuses to be subject to rule". In this context it refers to a child who will not follow the rules of his parents. Who as no or little regard for the laws of the household.
So that is the type of child or teenagers, that Paul is referring to here, one that want only for themselves, one that is out of control, and one that refuses to submit themselves to the authority of the parents.
Now I want you to understand that this can apply to children of any age above infancy. From pre-school to high-school to college. Any child who lives in the same household as their parents.
Further might I add that we all know that rebellion will come. None of us have perfect children. Children will act like children. Paul is in now way suggesting that an elders child must be perfect, if he were then none of us would qualify.
But there is a line. There is a line of rebellion, of insubordination, that child of a an elder must not cross, and if the child does then the elder must disqualify himself from that position.
Now this verse can cause some problems in the church as well. It can cause some to become judgmental of others and their children. But I do not think that is the focus that Paul wants to give. I think Paul’s focus is not so much on the children, but the parenting. There is a certain type of parent or Father that Paul has in mind to be an elder. And further we should all strive to be better parents, because if the parents are godly and living a godly life, one of prayer, church attendance, and so forth, then 9 times out of 10, and there are exceptions, the children will be godly and will lead godly lives themselves.
So for the rest of this sermon and next week’s sermon I want to focus on what Godly parenting looks like. I want to begin this week with parental duties and needs, and next week we will cover God’s directive in parenting.
The duties of parents. First of all the parents are responsible to supply the physical needs of their children. This includes food, clothes, shelter, and so forth.
Parents who neglect their children’s basic needs due to laziness or lack of concern are an abomination before. God is never pleased with neglectful parents.
Listen to the words spoken in 1 Tim. 5:8 "But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."
Paul states that those who do not provide for their own household not only to they deny the faith, deny Christ, but they WORSE then and unbeliever. Worse because they ought to no better. Just as God provides for our basic needs, the basic needs of his children, we as parents have a responsibility to provide for the basic need of our children.
However there is need for some caution in this area. Some parents feel a need to go beyond the necessities and provide some of life’s finer things for their children.
Most of us want our children to have things easier and better then what we had. We want them to have better clothes, better toys, better stuff, then what we had.
While there is nothing wrong with wanting our children to have nice things in and of itself it must be kept in perspective.
We are doing our children no favors if we teach them through example that accumulating material things is life most important goal. While we provide for them we need to teach them the truth of Mark 3:8, "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?"
The other parental duty I want to point out is the duty of moral and spiritual training.
To many parents, Christian parents, are leaving the moral training of their children to others, to the schools. It is not the schools responsible to teach your child moral standards, it is your responsibility.
You need to teach your children values, God’s values, God’s morals, God’s standard. God will hold you accountable for that training.
We need to ask ourselves "what am I teaching them". What am I teaching them about prayer? What am I teaching them about reading God’s Word? What am I teaching them about church? What moral and spiritual values am I teaching to my children?
Parents it is your duty to teach your children these values. Listen to Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it." God is calling on you as parents to train them in His ways, because of you do not, know one will.
WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN?
Another things I mentioned is that the needs of parents, what the parents need to know about being honorable parents.
First of all you need a knowledge of God’s will when it comes to your children. That sound real simple doesn’t it? But you need to remind yourself over and over again of the responsibilities that you have toward God in raising your children, because it is such a easy thing to forget.
We need reminding of God’s method of raising children, we need to be reminded of God’s method of dealing with crisis that occur, we need to be constantly in the Word of God that we may, through God’s Holy Spirit be reminded of these things.
We need continual knowledge as parents of God’s will of God’s way.
We also need to knowledge of children. We need to know the physical, mental and emotional make up of each one of our children. This helps us in dealing with our children and their own specific needs. In knowing this we can realize that as our children are different they have different needs.
My daughters are very much different from each other. Brooke is somewhat carefree, and very studious. Andrea is very emotional and more sports type of person. Bethany is outgoing and bossy, and has a temper like her dad. But they each are different and at times I have to deal with them differently.
We need to know our children that we might be better parents for them, and for God.
Finally we also need knowledge that is the wisdom of God. James 3:17 tells us; "But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy."
Everyday I pray for God’s wisdom for Darleen and I in raising our daughters. Because I know that we cannot due it in our own wisdom. I does not matter how many books I read about raising children, it does not matter whose method I us, if it is not God’s method it will in the long run fail.
Look at kids no-a-days. The children in college and on down have been raised on the most part by the advise of people like Dr. Benjamin Spoke and Ann Landers. Some many children have no respect for adults, no respect for their teaches, no respect for the parents and no respect for themselves. This I believe comes from the fact that they have been raised not through the wisdom of God but the wisdom of man. A wisdom God calls foolishness.
If we want to raise Godly children we need God’s wisdom. And I only know of one method to get God’s wisdom, prayer. James 1:5 tells us, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."
We all lack wisdom, so let each one us ask God for His wisdom, wisdom God states He will give to us.
So there is a glimpse of the type of parents Paul is referring to in Titus 1:6, honorable parents. Parents worthy of honor. That is the type of parents God want each one us to be.
In closing I would just like to say the following. I know I am not a perfect parent, I know I have a lot of short comings in that area. But I also know that I am a much better parent then many others.
And I can say that not because I think I am better then anyone else, I say that simply because I have the Holy Spirit dwelling in me. It is the power of God that enables me to be a better parent. Because many years ago God worked in my heart and I was convicted that I was a sinner in need of salvation.
It was at that point that I made the most important decision of my life. I trusted Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour. I asked him to forgive of my sin through His blood. It was then I turned my life over to Him and He gave to the gift of eternal life.
Whether you are a parent or a son or a daughter, you need Christ. When you place your faith in Him not only does he give you forgiveness of your sins and eternal life, but He also give you the power to be a better parent, to be a better son, to be a better daughter.
Will you trust in HIM today? Let us pray.
Pray sinners prayer.
