Choosing Forgiveness.
The season we are in at the moment is advent.
Advent kinda means anticipation - expecting something.
When we think about what we are expecting it is of course the celebration of the coming of Jesus.
If we were to think of what the coming of Jesus ushers in for us - high on our list would be forgiveness.
Colossians 13 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
That forgiveness is of course freely given if requested by the believer because Jesus has won it for us.
The pre-condition of such forgiveness is of course recognising our deep sinfulness - many never really do this.
The story is told of Prussian king Frederick the Great who was once touring a Berlin prison.
The prisoners fell on their knees before him to proclaim their
innocence-except for one man, who remained silent. Frederick called
to him, "Why are you here?"
"Armed robbery, Your Majesty," was the reply.
"And are you guilty?"
"Yes indeed, Your Majesty, I deserve my punishment."
Frederick then summoned the jailer and ordered him, "Release this
guilty wretch at once. I will not have him kept in this prison where he
will corrupt all the fine innocent people who occupy it."
The celebration of Christmas and the coming of this wonderful gift of forgiveness is celbrated by the exchange of gifts - over the next few frenetic days - the less organised among us will spend many moments carefully choosing gifts for each other as an act of generosity towards those we love and respect.
But christmas to be authentic has not only to be a time of receiving forgiveness but should also be a time of extending forgiveness.
Jesus once said:-
MT 6:14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Here we see - as Christians we are not only called to receive forgiveness but we are also called to extend forgiveness.
The extension of forgiveness is not a luxurious extra but is a pre-condition for salvation.
You see when we become members of God’s family we are throwing in our lot with an incredible God.
Jesus when he hung on the cross was in the process of dying in the midst of incredible pain and rejection. His enemies had thrown the worst they could at him and now in incredible agony he hung from the cross - stripped - of all he had - dying whilst his enemies jeered and laughed.
Looking up from his pain Jesus cried out to God the most incredible words ever heard:-
Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.
The truth is most people are not aware of the cost or effect of their sins. Most of us have an extreme tendency to undert estimate the cost of our sins on ourselves, on others and on God Himself.
How then can we learn to forgive anything like Jesus did?
If we can achieve a depth of forgiveness anything like that - that Jesus extends to us we indeed shall find an incredible freedom that will acompany us all our days.
Indeed we may liken it to having a beautiful aroma or perfume follow us whereever we go.
John and Paula Sanford in their book "Choosing forgiveness"
list six steps we can make to choose forgiveness.
Perhaps this Christmas you can take these six steps in order to discover a new freedom for yourself and to truly have a happy and meaningful Christmas.
The first stepthat they mention is:-
Honestly desire to become free of the burden of unforgiveness and prepare to forgive.
No-one can make you forgive, and forgiveness is not likely to happen if you are motivated only by feeling you"should" or "ought" to forgive. You must genuinely want to experience forgiveness. If possible, clearly identify what is causing your anger, disappointment, frustration or hurt. Identify who and what it is that you need to forgive and be able to say openly and honestly, "I choose to forgive."
I well remember a family member who had been swindled out of money some thirty years before still complaining about it. Even though I had nothing to do with it I was told about it so often that Until this day I still know the offenders name. That person had chosen to bear the grudge rather than to forgive.
Leonardo Da Vinci, just before he commenced work on his "Last
Supper" had a violent argument with a fellow painter. Leonardo was so
bitter that he determined to paint the face of his enemy, the other artist,
into the face of Judas, and thus take his revenge by handing the man
down in infamy and scorn to succeeding generations. The face of Judas
was, therefore, one of the first he finished. And everyone could easily
recognize it as the face of the painter with whom he had quarreled.
But when he came to paint the face of Christ, he could make no
progress. Something seemed to be baffling him, holding him back,
frustrating his best efforts. Finally he came to the conclusion that the
thing that was frustrating him was that he had painted the face of his
enemy onto the face of Judas. He painted out the face of Judas and
was then able to resume his work on the face of Jesus and this time did
it with the success that the ages have acclaimed.
When DaVinci moved past his right to take revenge and made the right
response instead, he broke the power of hatred and allowed the love
of Christ to have the last word.
A second step that you can take is to sit down with a fairminded counselor or friend and talk over the situation which requires forgiveness. Don’t attempt to be your own counsellot because you probably will see the situation only from your point of view and in relation to your own hurts or bitterness. Counselling will give you the perspective of another person and allow you to clarify and talk out your feelings.
Proverbs chapter 18 verse 17 says The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.
A real caution here is not to seek counsel from someone who harbours grudges and resentments of there own. They will just underline your prejudice and always make sure that your have taken a wide view of the scriptures in relation to the offence.
A wise and fairminded counsellor or friend can perceive whether you are holding anger within or still have unresolved issues or bitter rots with which you need to deal.
Thirdly Pray specifically about the person or situation that is the focus of a forgiveness issue.
Identify and clarify what it is yu need to forgive. Verbalise your feelings and your desire to forgive. Say aloud in prayer "I forgive John" Be specific and detailed Be real!!!!!! Believe it in prayer and expect the Lord to accomplish it as you continue to choose to forgive.
One of the most powerful prayers in the midst of suffering I have read
was uncovered from the horrors of Ravensbruck concentration camp.
Ravensbruck was a concentration camp built in 1939 for women. Over
90,000 women and children perished in Ravensbruck, murdered by the
Nazis. Corrie Ten Boom, who wrote The Hiding Place, was
imprisoned there too. The prayer, found in the clothing of a dead child,
says:
O Lord, remember not only the men and woman of good will, but also
those of ill will. But do not remember all of the suffering they have
inflicted upon us: Instead remember the fruits we have borne because
of this suffering, our fellowship, our loyalty to one another, our humility,
our courage, our generosity, the greatness of heart that has grown from
this trouble. When our persecutors come to be judged by you, let all of
these fruits that we have borne be their forgiveness.
4. Do something to bless the one who is being forgiven.
Forgiveness is not a neutral act to be achieved only privately in the head and the heart of the forgiver.
RO 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
RO 12:17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
True forgiveness is demonstrated in our wwillingness to pray for and to facilitate good things happening in the life of the one who has hurt us. Without the outflowing of our blessing for the one who hurt us, we miss the point of our forgiveness and fall short of the blessing of grace which God has for us. 1PE 3:8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
After ww1 France insisted on the punishment of Germany.
Saul watched Stephens stoning - Stephen prayed for the blessing of his persecutors - look what happenned to Saul.
5 Be prepared to suffer hurt to fulfill God’s purposes:-
The Sanford’s say - sometimes God cannot reach a person. He wantds to save because the person won’t listen. God might then prompt the rebellious one to hurt a Christian in order to set in motion a chain of events that will demonstrate the power of God’s love and draw the rebelious one into belief.
MT 5:11 "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Spend yourself in love for the person who hurt you. Christ’s love in you will set you free. One of the primary purposes for the command to bless those who hurt us is to restore love in our hearts for them. This sets us free and may be the Lord’s way of causing that person to be healed and saved.
Here is a remarkable story that illustrates both this and the next point. MELVIN NEWLAND
(Sermon Central.)
ILL. One of the most incredible stories of forgiveness I’ve ever heard
came out of Tulsa, OK, a couple of years ago. Tom McGee was a
young man who went out for a night of partying & revelry. He got
drunk & ran head-on into a car driven by a young man by the name of
Ted Morris. He killed Ted Morris instantly while driving under the
influence of alcohol.
This wasn’t the first time he had been arrested for drunk driving, so
Tom McGee was put on trial for manslaughter, found guilty &
sentenced to a term of several years in prison. But the prison was
crowded, & prisoners were being given early paroles, so Tom McGee
actually spent only a few months in prison before being released on
parole.
But he evidently hadn’t learned his lesson, for it wasn’t long until he
was arrested again for drunk driving. So his parole was revoked, & he
was sent back to complete his prison sentence.
Jack Morris, his victim’s father, visited Tom McGee in prison. After
visiting several times, he started taking cookies that his wife, Elizabeth,
had baked for him. And they became friends.
Finally Tom McGee was released from prison, but he had no place to
go. So Jack & Elizabeth Morris invited him into their home, & gave
him a place to stay. They provided the means by which he could
receive an education, & helped him find a job.
They were members of a Church of Christ in Tulsa, so they took him to
church with them, where Tom McGee accepted Jesus Christ as his
Lord & Savior, & was baptized for the remission of his sins.
Just recently, the news has come out that Jack & Elizabeth Morris have
formally adopted Tom McGee & made him their son. When Jack &
Elizabeth Morris die, Tom McGee will inherit whatever they have
accumulated in this life. Now that’s forgiveness - an incredible story of
forgiveness.
The last point is to seek reconciliation:-
Reconciliation is that wonderful objective which completes the circle of forgiveness. People who have been separATED BY PRIDE AND SIN MOVE PAST THEIR DIFFERENCES BY FORGIVENESS AND BLESSING AND COME TOGETHER IN NEW UNDERSTANDINGS AND RESTORED RELATIONSHIPS.
