Summary: Things men need to accomplish during the single phase of life.

8, September 2002

Dakota Community Church

All The Kings Men

Part: 1 – Single Men


Statistics tell us that 37% of adults over 18 are single. During the average persons life a significant portion of their life will be spent as a single typically the first 25 years of life is spent as a single and perhaps for the last 10-15 of their lives.

In spite of this many people take a dim view of those who are single: holding up marriage as an ideal.

For instance some are single for the following reasons:

1. They like their independence

2. Shyness

3. Caring for aging parents

4. Consider selves to old for marriage

5. Career is their priority

6. A past divorce

7. The marriages of those around me don’t look that great

8. I don’t have enough money on hand to pursue a potential spouse

9. Basically selfish person and my singleness enable me to look after my own happiness

10. This is Gods will for my life

11. My singleness has freed me up for certain kinds of Christian service

Three requirements of the single season:


1 Corinthians 7:32-33

32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs--how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife—

Proverbs 3:13-18

13 Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, 14 for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. 15 She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. 16 Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. 17 Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. 18 She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed.

a. Discover His capacity to satisfy.

Isaiah 55:2-3

2 Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. 3 Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live. I will make an everlasting covenant with you


I have never met a soul who has set out to satisfy the Lord and has not been satisfied himself. -- Watchman Nee

b. Discover His mercy.


If you were to sit down in your living room, hit the remote control and nothing happened, what’s the first thing you’d do?

Call the cable company?

Call KDKA and ask what happened to their signal?

Call ABC & CBS & NBC & Fox?

Probably most of you would check the batteries in the remote.

Or you’d see if you could turn on the set without using the remote.

c. Discover His faithfulness.


In 1996, 2001 World Series co-MVP Randy Johnson said:

About three years ago, I had a traumatic experience in my life—my dad passed away. I was on the brink of becoming a Christian anyway, but when my dad passed away, I finally made the vow to the Lord that he could have my life, and I would glorify him on and off the field. In the past three

years, I have had more heart and more desire, and I feel that’s a direct reflection of my Christian beliefs and lifestyle. There’s only way to be on this earth, and that is to be a Christian.

When I say, “discover”, I mean come to know these qualities for yourself.

d. Establish the discipline of consistency.

Find that intimate time and guard it jealously.


Psalm 139:13-15

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.

Proverbs 28:1

1 The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.


A brand new lawyer in his brand new office on his first day in practice sees a prospective client walk in the door. He decides he should look busy, so he picks up the phone and starts talking: "Look, Harry, about that amalgamation deal. I think I better run down to the factory and handle it personally. Yes. No. I don’t think 3 million will swing it. We better have Rogers from Seattle meet us there. OK. Call you back later." He looks up at the visitor and says, "Good morning, how may I help you?" And the prospective client says, "You can’t help me at all. I’m just here to hook up your phone."

Why do we need to deal with these things while we are young?

Psychological studies establish that by age five a child has formed a fairly definite impression of himself. The same studies reveal that self-esteem is not closely related to social position, family work background, education or any combination of such factors. A young child sees himself from the reflections of those close to him, mainly his parents. How they react to his activities largely determines the self-image he builds.

A. Low self-esteem does not equal “humility”.

B. Low self-esteem spurns God with feelings of “inferiority”.

C. Low self-esteem is an expression of fear.

D. Low self-esteem emphasizes personal weakness & the strength of others.

E. Low self-esteem is a tool of Satan to keep people from serving God.

F. Low self-esteem may be caused by past sin.

Covey says all humans share four foundational needs in order to be fulfilled:

- To live

- To love

- To learn

- To leave a legacy

You will spend a lifetime growing into all that God says you are but it is important to lay the foundation of understanding this while you are still single!


Without God there are some things you cannot do.

Without you there are some things God will not do.

John 15:4-5

4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

Ezekiel 22:30-31

30 "I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none. 31 So I will pour out my wrath on them and consume them with my fiery anger, bringing down on their own heads all they have done, declares the Sovereign LORD.”

Number 14:36-45

36 So the men Moses had sent to explore the land, who returned and made the whole community grumble against him by spreading a bad report about it- 37 these men responsible for spreading the bad report about the land were struck down and died of a plague before the Lord . 38 Of the men who went to explore the land, only Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh survived.

39 When Moses reported this to all the Israelites, they mourned bitterly. 40 Early the next morning they went up toward the high hill country. "We have sinned," they said. "We will go up to the place the Lord promised."

41 But Moses said, "Why are you disobeying the Lord ’s command? This will not succeed! 42 Do not go up, because the Lord is not with you. You will be defeated by your enemies, 43 for the Amalekites and Canaanites will face you there. Because you have turned away from the Lord, he will not be with you and you will fall by the sword."

44 Nevertheless, in their presumption they went up toward the high hill country, though neither Moses nor the ark of the Lord ’s covenant moved from the camp. 45 Then the Amalekites and Canaanites who lived in that hill country came down and attacked them and beat them down all the way to Hormah.


Ephesians 2:4-7

4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.