¡§Pay It Forward¡¨
I Corinthians 13:4
December 1, 2002
Love of Another Kind ¡V I Corinthians 13
¡§Everybody talkin¡¦ ¡¥bout Heaven ain¡¦t a-goin¡¦ there¡¨, the old preacher said. Similarly, everybody is talking about love, but many fail to understand what love is all about. We began a couple of weeks ago to talk about God¡¦s definition of love; we find that in I Corinthians 13. Stand with me as we read together today from I Corinthians 13:1-4!
Show clip of ¡§Pay It Forward¡¨ from the indigent in the garage through the indigent speaking with the woman in the kitchen.
Haley Joel Osment¡¦s character Trevor is a young man inspired by his social studies teacher to undertake a project designed to change the world for the better. Trevor decides upon a concept which he calls ¡§pay it forward¡¨, which is the converse of paying it back, in that his idea is to do good deeds to three different people, who instead of paying him back, he will ask to do good deeds toward three other people. While the picture paints too rosy an image of human nature, in some respects, it is replete with images of grace, of treating people not as they deserve, but far better. In a word, it paints for us a picture of kindness.
I. Kindness: What is it?
A. What it is not
Kindness is not simply emotion or mere feeling; it is more than this. Jesus was a man with emotions like the rest of us; when He saw the multitudes, the Bible says, He felt compassion for them. And yet kindness isn¡¦t measured by intentions or feelings.
To be kind is not to be wimpy and afraid to confront another person. Some picture this quality of kindness as almost a serene indifference, a mushy fuzzy thing. No, this is not the Bible picture of this word. Kindness will sometimes need to confront and to challenge; it will need to help correct an erring brother or sister, for it understands that it is not a loving thing for one Christian to allow another to live recklessly and sinfully and do nothing about it. It costs something to be kind. In his book A Gardener Looks at the Fruit of the Spirit, Philip Keller speaks of kindness by reminding us that ¡§it is the kind physician who lances the boil, drains off the poison, cleanses the wound, and so restores the patient.¡¨
Neither is kindness ¡§random¡¨. Now and again you might see a bumper sticker which urges us to ¡§practice random acts of kindness¡¨. Now, I appreciate the sentiment, I really do. But the kindness of which Paul is speaking here is not random nor irrational; on the contrary, it involves a clear motive and is done with clear purposes¡Xedifying people and glorifying God! Which leads us to ask more of a definition:
B. What it is
Last week we spoke of the fact that love is patient. Patience and kindness can be described as two sides of the same coin, the passive and active senses of the same character trait. Patience involves staying our hands¡Xand our mouths¡Xfrom exacting revenge where maybe revenge is deserved. Kindness, the Greek word chrestotes, involves the active sense of spontaneous action done for the good of others. It involves actively seeking the good of another, and doing so with a gentle spirit.
Kindness takes love on the road; it works for the welfare of the one loved. Can we not agree that in this cruel world, we are presented with plenty of opportunities all around us to be kind toward others, to demonstrate this critical quality of love to a world which knows so little of love? We know the definition of words like ¡§road rage¡¨; we hear of teenagers having ¡§hit lists¡¨ and going to school bent upon killing their classmates. We take ¡§anger management classes¡¨. We don¡¦t even know who our neighbors are. There is plenty of opportunity all around us for us to practice kindness!
I¡¦m reminded of an American general by the name of McAuliff, who found himself at Gastogne surrounded by the enemy. ¡§Men¡¨, he said, ¡§we are surrounded by the enemy. We have the greatest opportunity afforded an army. We can attack in any direction!¡¨ So it is with the opportunity we have been afforded; we can be kind literally in any direction, for there is such a need for this world to see kindness exemplified.
Kindness is more than mere empathy, though it ought to involve that. Kindness is an active response to an opportunity to edify another person.
II. Kindness: Where does it come from?
A. It is a fruit of the Spirit.
As we said of love and of patience, so we say of kindness that Paul lists this quality among the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5. In other words again, this quality is to be produced in its truest and highest form in the life of the believer in Jesus Christ through the working of the indwelling Holy Spirit of God. I don¡¦t work this quality of love up in my life; I do cooperate with the Spirit in the production of this in my life.
B. It is the very nature of God.
Romans 2:4 tells us of the kindness of God. As we said, Paul begins his characterization of love by describing in two terms, patience and kindness, the character of God¡¦s grace. God¡¦s grace is patient; it withholds the judgment that our sins deserve. God¡¦s love is kind; it actively works for our good, producing in us ultimately new people, bestowing on us a righteousness that is apart from our own merit, but which is based solely on the merit of another, namely Jesus. Listen to what Paul says in Ephesians about the kindness of God: ¡§God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, an seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.¡¨ God is kind toward us because this is His very nature and disposition.
III. Kindness: What does it look like?
There are few tragedies to compare, in my mind, with the tragedy of a blind or crippled child. Imagine the terrible circumstance, then, of being born a healthy child, but losing the ability to walk through a childhood accident. Now, in our culture today, there would be plenty of assistance for a child undergoing this terrible predicament, but in ancient Israel, one who found himself in this situation had limited options. Despite being the grandson of Israel¡¦s first king, Mephibosheth found himself in just such a predicament. Crippled, forgotten, abandoned by his family, Mephibosheth had little reason for hope.
But we pick up the story in II Samuel 9 (turn there with me, please! READ VERSES 1-5). David asks, ¡§Is there anyone left of the house of Saul that I may show kindness to for the sake of my late friend Jonathan?¡¨ And a servant says, ¡§You know, I recall that there is a crippled boy¡Xson of Jonathan¡Xname¡¦s Mephibosheth. He¡¦s in Lo-Debar¡¨. Lo-Debar: its name meant ¡§no pasture¡¨; it was a barren, desolate, out of the way place, which played host to an individual with seemingly nothing to offer anybody. But King David said, ¡§Go, get him, bring him here.¡¨ We wonder what Mephibosheth must have thought when the men arrived and told him that the king had need of him. I wonder if his first thought was fear. His grandfather Saul had sworn to kill David, and had pursued David all over Palestine. Now with his father and grandfather both dead, what would King David¡¦s intentions be toward him?
But we find out. READ VERSES 6-ff. Nothing which Mephibosheth had done had made him deserving of such kindness; this extraordinary kindness was an act of pure grace.
So it is with God¡¦s grace toward us. When we were undeserving, when we were helpless, when we were far away from God, God¡¦s grace came running toward us in Christ Jesus. It sought us out; it found us when we were far astray. And just as the kindness of King David brought Mephibosheth to a position at the king¡¦s very table, feasting at the king¡¦s banquet, so the kindness of God does more than just get us to Heaven by the skins of our teeth. We are accepted in the beloved; we are joint heirs with Jesus Christ; we are a people of God¡¦s own choosing, and all because of God¡¦s amazing kindness and grace toward us. That is what kindness looks like.
„h Kindness looks like treating people with the grace with which God treats you, instead of with the retribution which they deserve.
„h Kindness looks like being gentle with those who mistreat you.
„h Kindness looks like returning a soft answer when you are maligned or spoken ill of.
„h Kindness looks like forgiveness of the most heinous sins, restoration of the most wayward sinner, and reaching out to the most unlovely.
The story is told that, at the end of World War I, Herbert Hoover, who would later become the President of the United States, led the Allied relief efforts in Europe. The efforts of these valiant soldiers kept hundreds upon hundreds from starvation, and a new word entered the Finnish language; they made a verb out of Herbert Hoover¡¦s last name. In Finland, ¡§to hoover¡¨ means ¡§to be kind, to help.¡¨ If they made a verb out of your last name, what would its definition be?
Finally, remember that kindness makes a difference. A lady was standing at a bus stop one day waiting for a bus. She was a little nervous because she¡¦d just cashed her tax check and had a lot of money on her. She noticed a shabbily-dressed man standing nearby, and soon another man walked over to the gentleman, put some money in his hand, and whispered in his ear. Moved by this touching act of apparent kindness, the lady felt convicted to do the same, and so she walked over to the man, put a $10 bill in his hand, and simply whispered in his ear the words, ¡§never despair, never despair¡¨.
The next day the lady found herself on the same street corner and noticed the man walking rapidly toward her. He pressed some money into her hand and whispered back, ¡§here¡¦s $110, lady. Never Despair paid off at 10-1!¡¨
Now chances are that it won¡¦t make a difference in that way! But kindness will make an impact. It will change us; we will become kind people when we practice doing kind deeds.
We will impact others as well. The story is told of an old man walking along a beach after a storm had washed 1000¡¦s of starfish ashore, and picking up starfish after starfish and flinging it back into the surf. A younger man happened by, and after surveying the scene, felt compelled to scoff at the old man. ¡§You¡¦re wasting your time, old man¡¨, he said, ¡§because there are so many of them. What difference do you think you can make?¡¨ Picking up another starfish and tossing it back into the swirling waves, the old man replied, ¡§Made a difference to that one!¡¨
John Wesley once told a group of Christians this: ¡§Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.¡¨ That¡¦s kindness. That¡¦s love.
Tony Campolo tells an unforgettable story, of a lady named Miss Thompson who had forgotten that lesson, though she was a Christian. Miss Thompson taught 5th grade, and at the beginning of the year, she made it a point to tell the class that she had no favorites, that she would try to treat each child equally. And yet she failed in her promise. Teddy Stallard was not the kind of child that you just warmed up to¡Xand neither did Miss Thompson. Teddy¡¦s clothes were musty and his hair unkempt; he had little facial expression; his eyes always seemed glassy and unfocused. Teddy was hardly a personable child, not particularly likeable nor popular to others.
She found herself hardened toward Teddy, almost getting a certain perverse pleasure out of marking x¡¦s on his papers. She ought to have known better; she had his records and knew his history:
First Grade: Teddy shows promise with his work and attitude, but poor home situation.
Second Grade: Teddy could do better. Mother is seriously ill. He receives little help at home.
Third Grade: Teddy is a good boy, but too serious. He is a slow learner. His mother died this year.
Fourth Grade: Teddy is very slow, though well-behaved. His father shows no interest.
Christmas came and the boys and girls in the class brought presents for the teacher. And so did Teddy Stallard, though Teddy¡¦s was wrapped in brown paper and held together with Scotch tape. On the front was the writing, ¡§For Miss Thompson, from Teddy¡¨. When she opened the paper bag, out fell a gaudy rhinestone bracelet with half the stones missing, and a bottle of cheap perfume. While the other children began to giggle, Miss Thompson had the presence of mind to put on the bracelet and daub a little of the perfume on her wrist. Holding up her wrist for the other children to see, she said, ¡§Doesn¡¦t it look lovely, children? And I smell so good too!¡¨ Taking their cues from her, the other children began to ooh and aah right along in agreement.
At the end of the day, the students went home¡Xbut Teddy lingered behind. Coming over to her desk, he said, softly, ¡§Miss Thompson¡KMiss Thompson¡KI¡¦m so glad you liked my presents. You smell just like my mom¡Kand her bracelet looks pretty on you too.¡¨
When Teddy Stallard left the room, Miss Thompson got down on her knees and begged for God¡¦s forgiveness.
When the children came to school the next day, they found a different teacher. Miss Thompson had become a different person, not merely a teacher, but an agent of God¡¦s grace. She helped all of the children, as before, but now with a special emphasis on the slow ones, and a special kindness for Teddy Stallard. By the end of the school year, Teddy showed a remarkable improvement, catching up with most of the students and even surpassing a few in his academic achievement.
She didn¡¦t hear from Teddy for a long time. Then one day, a note came in the mail.
Dear Miss Thompson:
I wanted you to be the first to know. I will be graduating second in my class. Love, Teddy Stallard
Four years later, another note:
Dear Miss Thompson:
They just told me I will be graduating first in my class. I wanted you to be the first to know. The university has not been easy, but I liked it.
Love, Teddy Stallard
Another four years passed, and this note:
Dear Miss Thompson:
As of today, I am Theodore Stallard, M.D. How about that? I wanted you to be the first to know. I am getting married next month, the 27th to be exact. I want you to come and sit where my mother would sit if she were alive. You are the only family I have now; Dad died last year. Love, Teddy Stallard
And she went. And she sat there, because her kindness had done something for Teddy that had changed his life.
Love is kind. Pay it forward.
