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Unless otherwise noted all scripture is quoted from the New Living Translation of the Bible.
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Bud was a factory worker with more than a slight resemblance to Archie Bunker. Every single day he’d come home sweaty and dirty. He’d go in the back door, grab a beer from the frig, and plop himself down in front of the TV until his wife brought him supper.
One day as he was driving to work he happened across a Christian psychologist on the radio -- kinda’ of a local version of James Dobson. And something the commentator said stuck in his mind -- that being that love and marriage are about sacrifice.
And it hit him – no, convicted him – that he’d been expecting his wife to sacrifice for him but he’d never really sacrificed for her. It was as though a relational light bulb came on and he knew that he had to do something about it.
So he decided that he was going to surprise her the next day. Before coming home he showered and shaved. He went to the florist and bought flowers and instead of going in through the back door he went to the front
and rang the bell.
When she answered the door he held out the flowers and said -- "Honey, they’re for you! I love you."
She looked at him, her mouth dropped open. Tears filled her eyes.
And she said, "I’ve had a terrible day. Billy broke his leg and I had to take him to the hospital. No sooner had I got home than the phone rang. It was your mother and she’s coming to visit for two weeks. I tried to do the wash but the machine broke and there’s water all over the basement floor. And now, you come home drunk!
Poor Bud. It’s hard to win at love. But he’d finally got the right idea! He was on the right path, at least as mapped out by John in our text this morning. True love manifests itself in sacrificial action.
We tend to think of love in terms of intense feelings. We tend to think of love in terms of emotion and what’s in the heart. Every now and then I get called to the hospital when the regular chaplain is unavailable. Usually it’s when someone has died and the family is looking for someone to pray with them or to talk with them.
Occasionally, the nurses will call when it’s a really tense situation and they want to have a neutral kind of person there to help calm a distraught family. And a few of those calls have been really interesting –
like walking into the midst of a group of worked up, family members, all with smokers voices – and obviously not much going for them otherwise – weak vocabulary – mostly four letter words to make any point.
And some 50-year-old man has died – alcohol related illness – wasted life – couldn’t ever do any work on a regular basis to support his 6 kids and 2 ex-wives.
And I try to get people talking about the person who has died – but in a case like that all I’ll hear the family members say is – “You know, his heart was in the right place.”
And that’s what really counts to them – his heart was in the right place. My take on the situation is that the guy never loved anyone but himself. (Of course, I wouldn’t say that – especially in that situation).
Here is a guy who was was a total jerk – irresponsible toward others and himself. But he really wanted things
to be different, I suppose. At least that’s what the family is saying. And he felt for other people who had problems. So in their minds his heart was in the right place.
And I don’t want to be the judge of where any person’s heart is. That’s not my role. But frankly, there’s more to it than that. Just because someone has loving feelings or emotions – that doesn’t mean that true love exists.
It would be so much easier if we could talk in simplistic terms and just say -- "Well, my hearts in the right place."
"I really want to help and I really feel for you but..."
The but stands in the way of love.
You see, true love manifests itself in sacrificial action.
Isn’t that John’s point in 1 John 3.16? “We know what real love is because Christ gave up his life for us. And so we also ought to give up our lives for our Christian brothers and sisters.”
This is one of those nutshell verses. You know, verses that tend to pack a whole lot of gospel into a small amount of space.
John 3:16 is a nutshell verse -- "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”
2 Timothy 3:16 is a nutshell verse -- “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It straightens us out and teaches us to do what is right.”
Don’t get the wrong idea. Not all 3:16 verses are nutshell verses but it just happens that a few are --and 1 John 3.16 is among them. “We know what real love is because Christ gave up his life for us. And so we also ought to give up our lives for our Christian brothers and sisters.”
Earlier on in 1 John, if you’ll recall, we laid out three tests or indicators of true fellowship with God.
They were:
1. right acknowledgment of the person of Jesus.
2. obedience
3. and love
Here in chapter 3 John is elaborating on the love indicator. He’s saying I want to make sure that you understand the kind of love that I’m talking about. Don’t be fooled by those who flippantly throw the term around and who don’t back it up with some kind of sacrificial action. Those who would call you "dear and beloved brother in Christ," not because you are, but only because you send $25 to their telethon.
Those who would say that they love you and then instead of sacrificing their hormonal urges, would manipulate and push you and take advantage of your vulnerability and desire for friendship and intimacy.
You can tell true love by this -- that he laid down his life for us. The cross. Jesus came to lay down his life for us on the cross. He loved us so much that he took upon himself the sin of the world. And he took it to the cross where it was crucified -- killed, wiped out. And our slates were wiped clean. Because love found it’s way to a cross. This is the gospel, isn’t it?
That God loved the world so much that he gave his only son so that all who believe in him (that is, acknowledge and accept with their lives what he did for them) should not die but have everlasting life.
And John says -- This is the kind of love that ought to characterize our lives as followers of Jesus. You ought to be doing the same thing, if you’re a true follower.
For true love manifests itself in sacrificial action. And we ought to lay down our lives for one another.
I know, I know, it’s not popular to "ought people" these days. We ought not to ought people -- which is really a contradiction. But then again we humans are rarely logical anyway. However, the fact is that people don’t like to be told that they ought to do something.
I resent the commercials and advertisements that tell me I ought to buy certain things. I suppose I can handle them making suggestions. But often they cross the line and tell me that I ought to have a certain car or I’m a nobody. I ought to max out my credit or I’m not living life to its fullest.
I resent it when someone comes right out and tells me that I ought to do something. It’s a part of my cantankerous nature to resist that kind of pressure. And yet, John is operating on a very logical level when he tells us that we ought to laying down our lives for one another.
He’s not trying to apply pressure and make people feel like slime for failing to love in a complete and true manner. He’s just saying that it’s the reasonable extension of the gospel into our lives. The life of the person who has seen the cross is characterized by his or her own sense of sacrifice. We too, carry the imprint of the cross with us. It is a part of us -- of who we are as children of God.
During his reign, King Frederick III of Prussia ran into financial trouble. Wars had been costly and as he tried to rebuild the economy he kept coming up with serious shortfalls.
After careful reflection, he decided to ask the women of Prussia to bring their jewelry of gold and silver to be melted down for their country. And for each ornament received the king determined to exchange a decoration of iron as a symbol of his gratitude. Each decoration was inscribed "I gave gold for iron, 1813."
The response was overwhelming. The women cherished their gifts from the king more than their jewelry. The reason, of course, is clear. The decorations were proof that they had sacrificed for their king. It was a sign of their loyalty. It actually became unfashionable to wear jewelry.
Thus was established the order of the Iron Cross -- members wore no other ornaments except a cross of iron.
When we come to our king, we too exchange the symbols of luxury and prestige for a cross -- the symbol of sacrifice. Actually, it’s not just the symbol of sacrifice that we take on -- but it’s a lifestyle of practical and tangible sacrifice.
Look at 3:17-18 – “But if anyone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need and refuses to help—how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions.”
True love manifests itself in sacrificial action.
So practically speaking, what exactly does this mean for me?
You know, when we think about sacrificial love we remember stories of soldiers who went above and beyond – risking their lives for others. We think of people who rush into burning cars to save people.
I came across a wreck on Monday where there were two cars full engulfed – the people got out okay and they were all sitting in shock on the side of the road.
The fire was in the center divider on the freeway – and the traffic was flowing on the shoulder. And as I drove by with my window closed I could feel this horrible radiating heat.
And I asked myself, if those people were still in the car would I be willing to run into that heat to get them out?
Occasionally people are. And the sacrificial love of these people makes headlines – and rightfully so!
But, you know, the sacrifices that most of us are called to do in Christ’s name are not going to be headline making. They’re not going to be dramatic. They’re not even going to be recognized by most people.
To the contrary they will be routine, often trying, occasionally boring, and relatively uneventful.
But that’s all right. We’re not trying impress anyone or get anyone’s attention. We’re just trying to grow the kingdom of God in the place where God has planted us. We’re just trying to manifest love in sacrificial action.
And it doesn’t matter if anyone else really notices because with each and every action the kingdom of God is brought closer to fulfillment.
Now, let me back up for a second and say that we’re not opposed to people noticing our sacrificial love -- not at all. We’re pleased when people are drawn to the Lord because they see how we care for each other.
Jesus said in John 13:35 – “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples."
What I am saying is that we’re not putting on a show which needs an audience.
So practically speaking what does it mean to lay down our lives one for another?
Let me suggest four ways by pointing to four different body parts.
The first is the EARS. We are laying down our lives when we take the time and energy to lend an ear.
You see, being a good listener isn’t natural for most of us. We’d rather hear ourselves talk. At least I would. But listening to each other is one of the most important things we need. We all, at times, just need someone to talk with.
One of my pastoral colleagues in Texas is someone many of you know – former pastor at Turlock Covenant Church – Dean Honnette. And there was a woman in his congregation who had a very troubled life and was dealing with multiple personalities. And she just needed to talk all the time.
She’d call Dean on the phone four or five times a day -- often in the middle of the night. Dean didn’t know what to do so he’d listen and pray with her. This went on for a couple of years. Not a healthy situation according to therapists. But Dean wasn’t doing therapy.
He just listened to this troubled woman and prayed for her each time.
And all of us pastors listened to Dean and prayed for him -- as he couldn’t get a solid night’s sleep.
Miracle of miracles though -- through all of this listening, this woman was healed. And it got to the point where she no longer called Dean because she was so busy listening to other people talk about their troubles. And people would call her in the middle of the night! She’d just listen and pray with them. And many have come to know the Lord thru her.
A second way that we lay down our lives is with our MOUTHS.
There are times when saying something hard to someone is the loving thing to do – challenging them to get honest in their liveS. and I’ll tell you, confrontation is not easy for most of us.
I dislike conflict intensely. I’d rather take my chances with a den of lions than have to confront someone with a problem in his or her life!
But it’s one of the most loving thing you can do – to confront someone with the truth.
Likewise, and I personally find this a bit easier, there are times when we have to risk our reputations and our positions and our comfort levels to speak up on behalf of a brother or sister. But we do so because we love them and we want them to be treated fairly.
It may be someone in your class at school who everyone is mean to and you’re the one who steps forward to say that you think he’s a nice guy.
It may be a single mother in the church who is treading water to stay alive and then she’s having to struggle with her insurance company over a claim they don’t want to pay. And she doesn’t have the energy to pursue it.
And I’ve seen this happen on several occasions, where some of the men will step in and sacrifice several hours and blood pressure pills to speak up and press her case for her.
That is a sacrificial manifestation of true love.
A third way that we lay down our lives is with our HANDS -- extended hands, giving hands.
That world relief offering that you give each year. You’re not getting brownie points for it, are you? You just do it because you care about people and you want to equip the church to minister to people.
And all of those angel tree gifts that you buy and wrap for the children of prisoners – no one knows you do that. And rarely do you even get a decent thank you. But you do it because you want to, you have love in your heart, and because you’re taking John 3:17-18 seriously. “But if anyone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need and refuses to help—how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions.”
A fourth way that we lay down our lives is with our FEET -- when we go the extra mile -- the above and beyond the call of duty mile.
In a couple of churches where Cheryl and I have been members we’ve been involved in refugee resettlement. That is really wonderful ministry. Generally you agree to help a family out for two or three months as they get settled into the community. But it’s rarely that simple.
The people from our little church in Texas ended up providing work transportation for a Russian couple we worked with for 9 months. No one made a big deal out it. No one moaned and groaned – just did it. It was ministry – acts of love.
This is what we’re talking about when we say that true love manifests itself in sacrificial action. And just in case you haven’t figured it out this is the key point this morning, and it’s Johns’ key point here in 1 John 3:11-24 -- TRUE LOVE MANIFESTS ITSELF IN SACRIFICIAL ACTION.
For whom are you laying down your life these days? this week?
Now, I know, some of you are looking at your lives and saying – “I don’t have much of a life left to lay down.”
You are so locked into the mortgage payments and the career ladder that what you have left to dish out for others seems minimal. Our lives are not our own.
Well, perhaps its time to evaluate those things -- those expectations which strap us and keep us from having a life to give.
And I’m not just saying this to the Bud’s – the Archie Bunkers. Perhaps its time to take steps and break free so that you do have something to give.
It’s a new year! No better time to make a change! Maybe you don’t really need to be working so much. Maybe laying down your life for others means not having so many toys for yourself. I don’t know. I’ll let you have that discussion with God – and I’d challenge you to do so.
I would though, as you’re having that discussion, encourage you to identify this week one area where God is calling you to lay down your life -- and then to take the steps that are necessary to get on with it.
Don’t give up if that area isn’t immediately apparent. Keep at it. Keep badgering the Lord for an answer. It’s there -- love -- not some schlocky abstract valentine kind of love but opportunities for true and genuine expressions of sacrifice.
“We know what real love is because Christ gave up his life for us. And so we also ought to give up our lives for our Christian brothers and sisters.”
