Sean Smuts
Dr. David Biberstein
Pastoral Theology II
4/24/02
Out of The Silent Culture
Once in a while there is a segment of the culture that is neglected or worse yet persecuted beyond belief. This is where we as the church and as Christians on a whole have placed homosexuals and their practices. They have become a "silent culture" because we have taken away their voice and made them hide in shame. However I believe that through understanding and Christian tolerance that we can bring this persecution to an end.
In this paper I intend to explore three areas (not in order of importance):
1.Homosexuality and the Influence on the Church (specifically the United Methodist Church).
2.Homosexuality and the Influence on Family.
3.Homosexuality and the Influence on Self.
Homosexuality and the Influence on the Church
In 1996, the debate about whether homosexuals should be allowed to serve in ordained ministry hit the floors once again. This is a debate that has stemmed back to the beginning of the United Methodist Church in 1968.
In the beginning the Methodist Social Creed (1968) stated this:
"6. Sex in Christian Life. --- We believe that sexual intercourse within holy matrimony with fidelity and love is a sacred experience and constitutes a needed expression of affection. We also believe that sexual intercourse outside the bonds of matrimony is contrary to the will of God. The outrageous exploitation of the strong forces underlying sexual experience is a destructive element of our culture. It not only distorts the meaning of sex experience but constitutes a blasphemous disregard of God’s purpose for mend and women. A case in point is the distribution of hard-core pornographic and other sex-exploitative material. We advocate through educational efforts in home, church, and school designed to elevate our whole understanding of the meaning of sexual experience."
While the creed does not directly mention homosexuality, there is an implicit condemnation of it with all other sexual activities outside of the bonds of marriage (J. Gordon Melton, The Churches Speak on: Homosexuality, p.240).
The denomination’s first dealings with homosexuality were in passing as part of the "Resolution on Health, Welfare, and Human Development." It did not take an official stand on the issue outside of the assumed position which limited sexual intercourse to marriage. It did however call for treatment of problems arising from homosexuality through counseling rather than through criminal prosecution. (Melton, p.240).
The next time the denomination decided to tackle the issue of human sexuality was in 1972, when the issue of homosexuality was brought to the floor of the General Conference of that year. The Board of Christian Social Concern wrote an affirming statement that they hoped would make it to be part of the denomination’s Social Principles. However, the Board’s proposal was rejected and in a heated session, the document was rewritten by the conference delegates and passed. (Melton, p. 241)
This proposal says in essence that all sexual acts outside of marriage (specifically mentioning homosexuality) were sin and that anyone that was a practicing homosexual was not to be allowed to be an ordained minister. However, the proposal made the stipulation that all have sinned and thus homosexuals were welcomed into the church and into church membership, as per church policy.
Though the debate has continued through the 1980s and into the 1990s, no proposal that hoped to alter the position made in 1972 has survived through the General
Conference. (Melton, p. 241)
In 1988, the Social Principals had adapted and with them, the section on Human Sexuality. With the decision of the General Conference of 1972 to include homosexuality in the social principals, the written proposal was taken almost verbatim and was added to the Human Sexuality section. It reads,
"Homosexual persons no less than heterosexual persons are individuals of sacred worth. All persons need the ministry and guidance of the Church in their struggles for human fulfillment, as well as the spiritual and emotional care of a fellowship which enables reconciling relationships with God, with others, and with self. Although we do not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider this practice incompatible with Christian teaching, we affirm that God’s grace is available to all. We commit ourselves to be in ministry for and with all persons." (Melton, p. 242)
Also in 1988, the denomination had come to a standstill and put together a task force to study homosexuality for the following three reasons:
1.To find consensus among biblical scholars, theologians, and ethicists and where there is not.
2.To seek the best biological, psychological, and sociological information and opinion on the nature of homosexuality, noting consensus and nonconsensus.
3.To Explore the implications of the study for the Social Principals.
The three reasons were brought before the General Conference of 1988 and were passed (Melton, p. 243).
In 1996, the United Methodist Church reaffirmed its doctrinal statement that the practice of homosexuality was incompatible with Christian teaching. This announcement caused some heated debates . Thus, they needed some tools to help sort things out. (Don Thorsen, Revelation and Homosexuality)
A tool that the UMC (United Methodist Church) has used in the past to help deal with issues like this one was the Wesley Quadrilateral. (Thorsen)
Wesley believed that with four lenses in the proper order (Scripture, Tradition, Reason, and Experience) that all things could be played out in a logical manner. With the quadrilateral in place, the church began to look at the issue of homosexuality. "Although Wesley did not specifically deal with the issue of homosexuality, his theological legacy provides a comprehensive and integrative way of evaluating it." (Thorsen)
Scripture
Scripture as been interpreted historically as prohibiting the practice of homosexuality, however, some biblical scholars have challenged interpretations of key texts in the debate of homosexuality. (Thorsen)
For instance, some Old Testament scholars now believe that the story Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 19) is not relevant to the discussion as they feel that it deals more with inhospitality and violence. Another case is Paul’s seeming prohibition of homosexual behavior in his epistles. The scholars feel that this is an invalid conclusion as Paul was not dealing with the homosexuality as he was the lust and exploitation of the society. (Thorsen)
This causes for confusion on the part of those trying desperately to find scriptural backing. It causes us to look at the three-fold context (Literary, Cultural, and Theological Contexts). By doing so, we discover that the Bible does remain consistant historically, it teaches that homosexuality is a sinful practice. (Thorsen)
Tradition
"Wesley understood tradition as representing the ways in which Christians have understood and applied scriptural teachings throughout church history." (Thorsen)
The tradition of the New Testament is that it "...is humane in what it says about those struggling with sin. Jesus and the apostles emphasized compassion and understanding, not condemnation, and so we have to become more effective in ministering to homosexual persons without compromising the biblical standards for human sexuality." (Thorsen)
Reason
Far too often we try to find the easy way out when it comes to the topic of homosexuality. However, if we are to be mature Christians in our thinking, then we must first investigate then produce a claim rather than the other way around. (Thorsen)
A person with a spirit of reason will listen to all beliefs, he may not believe them all, but he will listen. "We will be able to act more redemptively, especially toward homosexuals, when we first try to understand their perspective." (Thorsen)
Experience
Wesley did not consider experience self-authenticating, but he did feel that it was part of our theology. (Thorsen)
There is a problem in this area of the homosexual debates and that is that many "testimonies" of gay and lesbian Christians are considered self-authenticating, this is exactly what Wesley had warned against. We confuse what is (their behavior) with what ought to be (the Biblical standard). (Thorsen)
Since our personal experience is ambiguous, it can be interpreted in different ways, even deceptively. One’s experience does not represent the highest authority in the matter because of this. (Thorsen)
Homosexuality and the Influence on Family
The United Methodist Church is a denomination that believes strongly in the sanctity of the home and in the preservation of the home. That is what caused me to delve into this area of study as the next in the paper.
Families with homosexuals often do not know how to go about dealing with it. For instance take this quote of a mother who just found out that her son is gay and had been hiding it for thirteen years, "Thirteen years? No. No, I’d have known. What about his girlfriends in high school and college? How could he be gay? What happened Where had I failed? I fell to my knees sobbing." (Shirley A. Rorvik, When Homosexuality Hits Home, TCW November/December 1997) or what about this quote from the movie The Matthew Shepherd Story, "I think part of me always knew that Matty was gay, but I just couldn’t deal with it" (The Matthew Shepherd Story, NBC TV).
I am going to take you through the trials of two families so that you can see the trials that comes with having a family member that is a homosexual.
First we will look at Shirley Rorvik. She went from being the mother that told the stories of the "queer" that would walk into the bank with his boyfriend to being a mother of a gay man.
Her story starts off by telling us the story of "Don," who was the "queer" in their small town. He walked into the bank, pushed his bank book across the counter towards the her to get his money. She shuddered as "Don" and the man walked out arm-in-arm. (Rorvik)
She returned home that night and described the entire episode to her family in a voice that dripped venom and disgust was laced on her tongue. She says, "Thank God there’s none of that in our family." She tells of how everyone thought that they had it all together. (Rorvik)
Seven years later, she came home to a drunken husband that caused her to fear for her life. When she confronted him about it, he moved out and later divorced her. Not only did the divorce cause her life to go through a massive change it also caused a change in the boys the eldest son, later got divorced and Tim dropped out of college and joined the Marines. Then in 1992, another bombshell was dropped into her life. (Rorvik)
The pages of Tim’s letter caused her hands to tremble as she read it, "My sexual orientation has bothered me since I was twelve. Please, Mom, listen to me. I feel a strong attraction for men. I understand how you must feel...I am who I am, and it’s taken me thirteen years to be able to accept this..." Unable to cope with the pain and devastation, she fell to the ground sobbing, then grabbed the keys and the letter ran to the car. (Rorvik)
50 mph quickly turned into 80 and when she reached that sped, nearly hit a guardrail. Twisting the steering wheel, she skidded and looked for a landmark to tell where she was. She was more than 50 miles from home. She quickly pulled off the road, opening the moon roof, she tilted the seat back and prayed, "Lord, I give up. What do you want me to do?" (Rorvik)
Picking up the letter with a different feeling she began to read, she began to feel her son’s pain as she read this time. "I feel alone. I’m so afraid of my family rejecting me...You’re still my mom, and I love you, I always will." (Rorvik)
Sensing that she needed to call her son, she drove home and dialed his number. When she began speaking, she told him that she loved him and that she always would, but that homosexuality is a sin. "You’re not alone, Tim. I’m here and Jesus is too. God loves you." Both sobbing, she told her son that she would phone the next day. (Rorvik)
She needed answers, she couldn’t understand why he was gay. Was it the military? Did something happen when you were little? Over a period of weeks she prodded and finally he opened up. He told his mother of instances where older boys bribed or threatened him into satisfying their sexual urges and of the bully that called him a fag. The real kicker came when he told his mother of the time when his father had taken him into the gay community. I didn’t make me do anything, but "I just wanted to die." He soon came to hate his father. (Rorvik)
She sought Christian groups in the weeks following for Tim to join to be free from his bondage. She thought she had found the right one until she called and Tim said that she was wrong, and that he wasn’t in bondage. He was born this way and that Jesus knew it. (Rorvik)
When she had received his letter, Rorvik thought of her son as a victim. That "they" had trapped him in their world. What she didn’t realize was that she was the one that was trapped and that God was not done with her yet. She soon came to realize that Tim’s boyfriend’s weren’t enemies, they were wounded souls that needed nurturing. (Rorvik)
Many of them have been rejected by their churches and worse by their families. They feel that since the church has turned its back on them that God has as well. She believes that with these hardened hearts that friendship is the key to evangelism. She is optimistic that one day Tim will become at least a non-practicing homosexual, but until then she has been called to pray for him and love him. (Rorvik)
The next family that we will deal with is the family of Matthew Shepherd. Matthew was taken to a fence and tied to it, then beaten and left for dead. Matthew was a gentle spirit that tending to have problems. He was raped in Morocco and had panic attacks from there on out to the end of his life. When he first finds a boyfriend, he is uncertain as to how to deal with it, and so they go to Morocco. When he moves to Denver, his neighbor is a homophobic person that just can not stand him and equates homosexuals with rats. (The Matthew Shepherd Story)
Matthew’s mother in the movie says, "I don’t know, maybe a part of me always knew that Matty was gay but just didn’t want to see it." She felt that his love was as valid as your is or mine is. She hated it when people would raise questions like, do gays have value? She knew inside that it was just society saying what it always said but it hurt nonetheless. "Why do people say such stupid things," she would ask often. (The Matthew Shepherd Story)
When he would have his gay friends over his mother didn’t know how to handle it, she often would say something like, "No it’s not me. It’s the neighbors. They talk." One in particular that she didn’t know how to handle was a rather effeminate gay guy named Donnie that is "on a quest." He believes that he was sent to teach the cowboys the wonders of homosexuality. (The Matthew Shepherd Story)
His father was even more uncertain as to how to deal with his being gay. Sometimes he seemed to handle it well and others he seemed to handle it not so well. For instance, he is in a bar and he hears a joke that has a derogatory punchline about homosexuals. When he gets home, he says to his wife, "How many arrows got shot at him every day? They bounce right off of me and you, but how many shot at him." (The Matthew Shepherd Story)
Another time while in the court room giving a statement to jury at his son’s murder trial he say, "Matthew was not my gay son, he was my son who happened to be gay." He also says in that same trail that, "My son died because of your ignorance and intolerance, Mr. McKinney. (referring to one of the boys that helped kill him)" (The Matthew Shepherd Story)
While Matthew Shepherd’s parents family are not Christians to my knowledge, I still feel that they can still serve as an example of the strife that goes on in the life of a family with a gay family member.
Homosexuality and the Influence on Self.
We will be reading of three men who have struggled with this problem, two come from anonymous articles and the other is another part of the movie, The Matthew Shepherd Story, Matthew Shepherd.
The first case we will look at is that of a man that is a business exec, congregation president, youth-group leader, coach, and married man for more than 25 years. The man starts off by saying that "...except for some experimentation during adolescence, I have not acted on my desires. I have looked and acted like a ’normal’ heterosexual male." He was raised a conservative Baptist. He knew right and wrong, and though he had attended church, felt condemned by what was supposed to be something that released us. (No Easy Victory, Christianity Today, March 11, 2002)
He had always known he was gay since he was about 9 or 10 years old. As he grew older, his attractions took on a more sexual nature. Most of his high school interest turned into nothing but friendship, but some became more. (No Easy Victory)
He wanted to become intimate with someone of the same sex, just as those around were wanting to be intimate with members of the opposite sex. His alienation turned into other things like alcohol, drug abuse, heavy smoking, and forced heterosexual encounters. The author says that by the time he was a high school senior he was often thinking of suicide. (No Easy Victory)
When he turned 19, he became a Christian in the middle of his suicidal depression. He turned his life around, even started dating a female. This led to marriage. The author still wishes that he could be normal. "I’ve tried to change, tried to become heterosexual, tried just about everything to do so!...But for all my trying, all I’ve managed to do is control the behavioral manifestations of my sexual orientation." (No Easy Victory)
The author goes on to say that his has been a daily "battle" that has come at considerable cost to both him and his family. "...I am sometimes angry about the effort required, and I am frequently angry that I have had to do this on my own, without the support of friends or of a caring Christian community." (No Easy Victory)
He speaks of the fact that many people, even Christians, seem accepting of promiscuous heterosexuals but condemn him at every chance that they get. "Just last week I was talking with a Christian friend about concerns I had for members of our youth group. His response was something like, ’Well, you know, with all those hormones...’ I don’t get it. Do young male heterosexuals benefit from some sort of special dispensation? Why is their giving in to their urges so understandable while my giving in to mine would be such an abomination?" (No Easy Victory)
The author then makes the point that sin is sin. He doesn’t feel that he is any worse than the drunkard in the pew next to you or the single yet sexually active heterosexuals. He says that it is not an easy victory, but we can make it easier by understanding and accepting those who claim victory. (No Easy Victory)
The next article dealt with is entitled, My Secret Struggle. In this article, the author, a minister, tells us about his sexual desires and his struggles to overcome them.
The author tells us right away that he was raised in a working-class, Christian family and that God had called him from an early age to the ministry. He’s not quite certain as to why he had homosexual tendencies, but he knew that they were there from an early age. He admits to having some attraction to females but his primary attraction was to men. (My Secret Struggle, Leadership, Fall 1999)
He goes on to say that whenever his parents would speak of homosexuals it was always in a derogatory way. Uncertain of his place in this world, he would cry to God in anger or in helplessness. He wanted nothing more than for God to change him. His relief came not from God, but from fantasy and masturbation. (My Secret Struggle)
As he entered college, the author found a "new world of lust and sexual obsession." He went to a Christian college but he had more freedom then could imagine. He allowed his mind to continue to fill with images of men that he had seen in porno magazines or in viewing booths. The effects were only temporary and then more was needed. He found it hard to concentrate on his schoolwork, but most of all, "life was Hell." (My Secret Struggle)
About halfway into his college career, he found the courage to share with a friend his "secret struggle." He hated the feeling of being an observer rather than a participant in life. Everyone around him was dating, pursuing their dreams, and talking of their future. (My Secret Struggle)
One night at a retreat the author told his friend his secret. His friend didn’t freak out, but rather prayed and accepted him. In the end, the author ended up leaning on the friend to much and caused him to push away. (My Secret Struggle)
In seminary, the author resisted the urge to pick up pornographic material for the most part. When he gave in, he would confess his sin to his pastor and his pastor then recommended him to a counselor. (My Secret Struggle)
The author started to date "Laura." He didn’t feel that she needed to know his secret in the beginning, but as time went on and his libido grew, he finally told her. The circumstances under how it happened are not pretty. He had just bought a male porn magazine. The guilt then got to him so much that he felt that "Laura" had a right to know the real him. She asked questions that he couldn’t answer at first but they chose not to break up and went to see their pastor. Their pastor knew the author’s secret and explained it to "Laura." (My Secret Struggle)
They got married eventually and like so many gay men, he too felt that his old feelings would disappear once they were married. He was wrong and found his thoughts drifting to men when he would be having sex with her. (My Secret Struggle)
After seminary, he got a church. Here he found that many thought that he had it all together, but if they could have seen his secret life and his struggle with pornography, they would change their mind. (My Secret Struggle)
The author states that after a more than ten years of marriage, he entered the porn shop again, but this time was different. When he left, he left with a glimpse of his rotten soul. He had to get help. He told "Laura" as soon as they got home, they got into an argument about why he couldn’t just control himself. He joined a group that dealt with this problem. Today he and his wife are on the road to recovery. (My Secret Struggle)
Finally we get back to Matthew Shepherd and his ordeal. He really realized that he was gay, when he was in Switzerland and fell in love with another boy there. That boy and he went to Morocco, where Matthew was raped.
Prior to Matthew’s rape, but on the same trip, Matthew’s boyfriend had mentioned that he felt really uncomfortable and that it wasn’t safe for people like us here. Not long after Matthew’s rape, he phoned his parents and his mother came and got him and that is when he "came out" to her. (The Matthew Shepherd Story)
After that Matthew moves back to the US with his mother. His parents and he go on a camping trip later on and he reveals why he is so frustrated with life in general: "I do it with other guys dad! What do you have to say about that? That’s my point. Everything I do, everything I go through, I have to do it on my own! I can’t talk to you, I can’t talk to anybody. You’re supposed to love me, but you don’t even know who I am." (The Matthew Shepherd Story)
Matthew befriends a group of homosexuals at college at the University of Wyoming. Here he meets Romaine and Donnie. His mother is not sure how to handle Donnie. Romaine is a little easier to handle. She is a lesbian that doesn’t often have her lover around.
After Matthew has a party and his mother says that the "neighbors" might say something, Matthew says that he’s thinking of going to Denver with Romaine. When his mother protests, he says, "You said yourself, their never going to accept me here." (The Matthew Shepherd Story)
Matthew has a nervous breakdown in Denver between a neighbor that can’t stand homosexuals and his job, so he moves back to Laramie with his mother. Once there he starts school again at University of Wyoming. He meets a friend there that we find out is gay and is ready to "come out" to certain people. Matt says, "You’re gonna think the whole world hates you, but you’d be surprised to see who’s standing in your corner." Not long after this, Matthew is murdered, but his legacy of helping others lives on. (The Matthew Shepherd Story)
Being a homosexual in this day and age is not an easy task. You have to deal with the ignorance and prejudice of others. The only way that we can make it a better place is to put aside our differences and begin to understand what makes both sides function as a society group. Through this understanding and Christian tolerance we can put an end to the prejudice that stems from being part of the silent culture.
Works Cited
1.Melton, J. Gordon. The Churches Speak on: Homosexuality.
© 1991, by Gale Research Inc., 835 Penobscot Bldg. Detroit, MI, 48226
2.Thorsen, Don, Revelation and Homosexuality. Christianity Today,
November 11, 1996, pps. 34,36,38
3.Rorvik, Shirley A., When Homosexuality Hits Home. Today’s Christian Woman,
November/December 1997, pps. 47-49
4.The Matthew Shepherd Story. Starring Sam Waterston and Stockard Channing, Produced by Goldie Hawn. NBC © 2002
5.Anonymous, No Easy Victory. Christianity Today,
March 11, 1999, pps.50-52
6.Name Withheld, My Secret Struggle. Leadership,
Fall 1999, p. 84
Works Consulted
1.Anonymous, No Easy Victory. Christianity Today,
March 11, 1999, pps.50-52
2.Barnhill, Carla, A Gift of Grace. Campus Life,
November/December 1997
3.The Matthew Shepherd Story. Starring Sam Waterston and Stockard Channing, Produced by Goldie Hawn. NBC © 2002
4.Melton, J. Gordon. The Churches Speak on: Homosexuality.
© 1991, by Gale Research Inc., 835 Penobscot Bldg. Detroit, MI, 48226
5.Name Withheld, My Secret Struggle. Leadership,
Fall 1999, p. 84
6.News at 11. Newschannel 33 NBC © 2002
7.Pannenberg, Wolfhart, Revelation and Homosexuality: What Wolfhart Pannenberg Says About This Debate In The Church. Christianity Today, November 11, 1996,
pps. 33,35
8.Rorvik, Shirley A., When Homosexuality Hits Home. Today’s Christian Woman,
November/December 1997, pps. 47-49
9.Schmidt, Thomas E., A Pastoral Manifesto. Christianity Today,
November 11, 1996, pps. 38-39
10.Schmidt, Thomas E., How To Respond: Same-Sex Attraction. Men of Integrity,
January/February 2001
11.Thorsen, Don, Revelation and Homosexuality:What Would John Wesley Have Said About This Debate In The Church?. Christianity Today, November 11, 1996,
pps. 34,36,38
