ENGAGEMENT
Song of Solomon 2:8-3:5
As we continue in our study we will watch the courtship process taking place. Realizing that courtship and dating differ in some ways, we will see this couple enter into what our culture would consider engagement.
The Proposal
Song of Solomon 2:8-14(NKJV)
THE SHULAMITE
8 The voice of my beloved! Behold, he comes Leaping upon the mountains, Skipping upon the hills.
9 My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Behold, he stands behind our wall; He is looking through the windows, Gazing through the lattice.
10 My beloved spoke, and said to me: “Rise up, my love, my fair one, And come away.
11 For lo, the winter is past, The rain is over and gone.
12 The flowers appear on the earth; The time of singing has come, And the voice of the turtledove Is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree puts forth her green figs, And the vines with the tender grapes Give a good smell. Rise up, my love, my fair one, And come away!
14 “O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, In the secret places of the cliff, Let me see your face, Let me hear your voice; For your voice is sweet, And your face is lovely.”
Song of Songs 2:8-14(The Message)
Look! Listen! There’s my lover! Do you see him coming? Vaulting the mountains, leaping the hills. My lover is like a gazelle, graceful; like a young stag, virile. Look at him there, on tiptoe at the gate, all ears, all eyes- ready! My lover has arrived and he’s speaking to me!
THE MAN
Get up, my dear friend, fair and beautiful lover- come to me! Look around you: Winter is over; the winter rains are over, gone! Spring flowers are in blossom all over. The whole world’s a choir- and singing! Spring warblers are filling the forest with sweet arpeggios. Lilacs are exuberantly purple and perfumed, and cherry trees fragrant with blossoms. Oh, get up, dear friend, my fair and beautiful lover- come to me! Come, my shy and modest dove- leave your seclusion, come out in the open. Let me see your face, let me hear your voice. For your voice is soothing and your face is ravishing.
The Shulamite woman is recalling how much she enjoyed being with Solomon and how he would stand and look at her. In verses 10-14 she is recalling how he proposed marriage to her. He told her that he wanted to be with her sexually now. He was tired of waiting. It was becoming time in their relationship to move to the next step, marriage.
It is always difficult to know when just the right time is to propose marriage. Is it too soon? Will she say yes or no? Is this the right decision? Do I know this person as well as I think? Men, make sure you bathe this decision in prayer and allow God to guide you.
Remember When?
If you are married, do you remember when you proposed to your wife or your husband proposed to you? How did it go?
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The Pressures
Song of Solomon 2:15-17(NKJV)
HER BROTHERS
15 Catch us the foxes, The little foxes that spoil the vines, For our vines have tender grapes.
THE SHULAMITE
16 My beloved is mine, and I am his. He feeds his flock among the lilies.
(TO HER BELOVED)
17 Until the day breaks And the shadows flee away, Turn, my beloved, And be like a gazelle Or a young stag Upon the mountains of Bether.
Song of Songs 2:15-17(The Message)
THE WOMAN
Then you must protect me from the foxes, foxes on the prowl, Foxes who would like nothing better than to get into our flowering garden.
My lover is mine, and I am his. Nightly he strolls in our garden, Delighting in the flowers until dawn breathes its light and night slips away.
Turn to me, dear lover. Come like a gazelle. Leap like a wild stag on delectable mountains!
In verse 15 we see that there are some foxes loose that need to be caught before they destroy everything. The little foxes represent problems in the relationship. Problems can creep in before you know it. What was going so well all of a sudden turns into doubts. It is important not to ignore these problems. Don’t begin your marriage with major obstacles and barriers. Solve those problems before you say “I do”.
The engagement time of a relationship is usually very stressful. You are still trying to learn more about the person you are planning on spending your life with. You have to spend more time with one another’s families. In our culture, most couples want to have a “Church Wedding Ceremony”, which involves more stress; especially for the woman. The pressures of preparing to live together, setting up house, wedding ceremony arrangements, etc… can be overwhelming.
In verse 17 we find the Shulamite woman telling Solomon to leave; that he cannot spend the night with her just yet. This is the hardest time in a relationship to not fall to sexual temptation. It is very easy to try to justify having sex with your fiancé before you get married. Thoughts such as, “I am going to marry this person anyhow, so what could it hurt?” God’s plan for your life involves waiting to have sex until your Wedding Night.
Just A Thought
What kind of “foxes” have crept into your relationships?
What have you done to be rid of those problems?
If you have swept some of these problems under the rug, I would suggest that you get them out in the open and deal with them now. The longer you try to ignore these problems, the worse it will be when you finally deal with them.
The Doubts
Song of Solomon 3:1-5(NKJV)
1 By night on my bed I sought the one I love; I sought him, but I did not find him.
2 “I will rise now,” I said, “And go about the city; In the streets and in the squares I will seek the one I love.” I sought him, but I did not find him.
3 The watchmen who go about the city found me; I said, “Have you seen the one I love?”
4 Scarcely had I passed by them, When I found the one I love. I held him and would not let him go, Until I had brought him to the house of my mother, And into the chamber of her who conceived me.
5 I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the does of the field, Do not stir up nor awaken love Until it pleases.
Song of Songs 3:1-5(The Message)
Restless in bed and sleepless through the night, I longed for my lover. I wanted him desperately. His absence was painful. So I got up, went out and roved the city, hunting through streets and down alleys. I wanted my lover in the worst way! I looked high and low, and didn’t find him. And then the night watchmen found me as they patrolled the darkened city. “Have you seen my dear lost love?” I asked. No sooner had I left them that I found him, found my dear lost love. I threw my arms around him and held him tight, wouldn’t let him go until I had him home again, safe at home beside the fire.
Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe- and you’re ready.
The context of these verses is in a dream that the Shulamite woman had. She began to think in her mind maybe this was too good to be true. This dream was more like a nightmare for her. She was dreaming that Solomon had disappeared. She could not find him anywhere. She looked for him and asked for him all over the city. When she finally found him she held onto him tight and would not let him go.
She was experiencing “last minute” doubts about Solomon’s love for her. It is normal to get a little nervous about everything falling apart at the last minute. As a minister who has performed many wedding ceremonies, it is not uncommon for the couple to have some sort of argument the night before the wedding during the rehearsal. The closer that moment comes to repeating those vows of marriage before all of your friends and family the more you realize the seriousness of the commitment you are making.
In verse 5 we again find a warning against premarital sex. Abstinence before marriage is God’s plan. The importance of this is obvious. This theme of abstinence before marriage has been covered at least three times in these first three chapters.
In this study there are two very important things you don’t want to miss. 1) Deal with the problems in the relationship now. 2) Count the cost of marriage before you get married.
For married couples, do all you can to keep the “foxes” from getting in your marriage. The devil will do all he can do to keep your life in turmoil. As Scripture teaches us, “Resist the devil and he will flee from you”.
Notes:
Wednesday Evening Bible Study
Series: Intimacy (Study In Song of Solomon) #3
February 19, 2003
Bel Aire Baptist Church Marriage Class
Pastor Shawn Drake
