“Was Joseph A Good Dad?”
Matthew 1:18-25 (Matthew 2:13-23, Luke 2:41-52)
Father’s Day, June 15, 2003
Purpose: By taking a closer look at Jesus’ dad, today’s dads may be able to gain some insight on responsible fatherhood.
Introduction… Someone wrote these humorous word entitled, "The World According to
Dad." These are supposed to be words uttered by most fathers. Let’s see how familiar
these words may be.
- This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.
- Quiet. I’m watching the game.
– Fill it up before you bring it back. Don’t forget to check the oil.
- Bring back ALL the change.
- How should I know? Ask your mother.
– Look, I’m not made out of money!
- When I was your age I walked 5 miles to and from school each day and it was uphill both ways,
and I never complained.
- You are going AND you will have fun!
- Who’s paying the bills around here, anyway?
- I was not asleep. I was just resting my eyes.
- If you break your leg don’t come running to me.
- Don’t put your feet on the furniture. Your mother will kill you.
- Get down before you kill yourself. On second thought…
- Quit playing with your food.
- Be quiet! Can’t you see I’m trying to think!
- Why? Because I said so!
- If you don’t quit that I’m going to call your mother.
- You better get that junk picked up before your mother comes in here.
- Just wait till you have kids of your own.
I suppose we who are fathers could probably add a couple of quotes to this list. The bottom line is that being a parent and a father can be an interesting and trying experience.
And although we have don’t have much Biblical material to work with, I believe that Joseph struggled with being “dad” as well.
In many ways, I feel for Joseph. He hasn’t faired to well in the eyes of history. While the mother Mary is lifted up as the one who sacrificed, Joseph is often regulated to a third-party status even in the Biblical accounts where we have only a few passages that tell is story.
But we can draw some conclusions… In a previous sermon, we looked at some of his personal characteristics. We know that from these verses in the first chapter of Matthew, that Joseph was a righteous, merciful, discrete, obedient and intelligent man, who followed God’s direction in the midst of other options.
And we know that Jesus of Nazareth came directly from his Joseph’s household. Jesus spent thirty years with his family before his ministry. And I have to believe that Jesus picked up his personality traits not only from His heavenly Father to whom he gives much of the credit, but also from his earthly father, who was there at least in those beginning years.
Luke 2:52, a passage we’ll get into more later, simply says that “Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.” I believe that Joseph did much to make Jesus’ increase happen, and I believe that, by example, Joseph has much to show us fathers and parents, as he was a significant part of our Lord’s upbringing….Amen?
So, this morning lets look at Joseph and see how he was a good father.
I.
First and foremost, Joseph loved his wife…
Ephesians 5:28 says, “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.”
There is no doubt that children watch their parents…
If they see disrespect, statistics show that it will carry into the children’s marriage.
If they verbal, mental, or physical abuse, children will think that to be normal.
If there is little value given to wives and to the opposite spouse, children will use that
model in their future homes, families, and marriages.
But…
If they visibly see love and respect, it will be modeled in their marriage and family.
If the father honors the mother (and vise versa), that is exactly what the children will look for in their marriage.
If the parents treat one another as valuable, as loved, then that will carry into the children’s lives as they grow older.
That familiar Proverb rings true, “Train up a child in the way they should go: and when they are old, they will not depart from it.” (22:6)
The earthly Jesus treated women with respect. Probably more respect than any other religious leader of his day...
He loved his mom. Even to the point of making sure that she would be cared for as he died on the cross.
He valued each and every person. Whether the theif on the cross or the solider or the blind or the sick...he saw value in each person.
When Joseph had the decision before him to either leave Mary quietly or make a big fuss, even in the midst of his own pain, he wanted to do what was best for Mary, sacrificing himself.
Jesus did the same as he gave himself up because of his love for the church. I believe he first saw that all-giviing love in his father’s love for his mother.
If we want to be good fathers, we need to love our wives, just as Joseph did.
II.
Second, Joseph didn’t expect perfect children….
The story in Luke of Jesus in the temple is one of my favorites. The parents take off expecting Jesus to be playing with his friends only to find out that they’ve lost their kid. (Anybody ever been there?)
Now that we have two of our own, I can appreciate this text better. The nervousness that reaches into the pit of your stomach is so intense when your child is not where you thought they were.
You may or may not have heard that Matthew one day last week decided he was going to school. We often do a lot of pretending around our house, so with both of Ann’s parents, AnnMarie and myself, all at home, Matthew grabbed his pack-back and started heading for the bus stop.
Where is the bus stop you ask? Well, Matthew knows because he’s sees the bus every single morning out his window. That’s right…even with all of us their, Matthew took his backpack and went out on Dutch Settlement to wait for the bus. He wasn’t pretending this time!
Long-story short, a Wakelee neighbor came to the rescue, and within seconds of Matthew’s escape attempt, he was back safely at home.
Mary asked Jesus, “Why have you done this to us?” and Jesus’ response, “Did you not know that I must be about my father’s business?”
Now, we know now what Jesus was talking about, and today we don’t fault him for this, because we understand that Jesus had a different agenda than mom or dad. But I’d be willing to admit that Joseph had a long talk with his son on the way back home just as I and mom had a long talk with Matthew.
But the point is that just as there are no perfect fathers, there was only one perfect child in Jesus Christ.
As fathers, we cannot expect children to meet all our expectations, to fulfill all our goals for them, to be what we want them to be. They are not perfect.
Spilled milk, broken things here and there, a poorly written test, a dent in the family car… children make mistakes and they are far from perfect.
But it’s the good father, like Joseph, who, even when he doesn’t understand his child, like that time in the temple, says “that’s okay, let’s go home.”
Fathers, our children may be clumsy or athletic, scatterbrained or organized, shy or motor-mouths, goofy or sophisticated…but they are your children.
Colossians 3:21 says – “Fathers, don’t make your children resentful, or they will become discouraged.”
If we want to be good fathers, we need to understand our children are not perfect.
III.
For our last point this morning, we need to realize that Joseph did all that he could do for his child.
If you turn in your Bibles to Matthew 2:13-23, we see the familiar story of Joseph taking his family to Egypt and then to Nazareth by direction of angels.
Can you imaginable leaving house and home, job and career, family homestead and family ties, to pick up and move to a foreign land, just because an angel told you so?
I have to believe that Joseph was a man of prayer. Psalm 55:17 says “Evening, morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice.”
And no one can contest the fact the Joseph wasn’t in direct communication with God.
I Chronicles 16:11 says, “Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face continually.”
For his child, for his family, and for himself, I am sure that Joseph was in prayer. Even when he and Mary couldn’t be with Jesus, they knew that where they couldn’t be, God could be.
As fathers, we need to pray for our children and our families and to God for our strength. Why? Because our Heavenly Father loves our children and our families as much as we do…in fact, he has had more experience…Amen?
I also believe that Joseph did all that he could do for his family, he prepared his children.
Joseph not only prepared his child to leave home, he prepared Jesus for a lifetime, and beyond.
Proverbs 23:24 says, “The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise son will be glad in him.”
Preparing our children for that day when they finally leave our home is only part of the picture. Preparing them to live a productive lifetime in this world experiencing success and coping with failure, is another integral part, but it’s just that…a part.
As fathers, mothers, grandfathers, and grandmothers, we need to be preparing our children for eternity. God didn’t give us our children just to be doctors, teachers, farmers, plumbers, or preachers. He gave them to us to prepare them for everlasting life through Jesus Christ.
While we can’t choose for them, we CAN choose to show them the Way, the Truth, and the Life that leads to salvation, and their spiritual destiny. As parents, we need to be giving our children every opportunity to accept Christ for themselves.
We can’t choose for them, we can’t decide which path they are going to take, but we can set the example. I believe this is what Joseph did. Jesus knew about his spiritual heritage because of his parent’s devotion.
We, as parents, can have a Godly influence on our children. Let us never forget that their physical presence in this world is only a shadow of what eternity will be.
If we want to be good fathers, we need to do all that we can do for our families, just as Joseph did.
I do not have to tell you that Fatherhood is not doing well in our society…
Consider these facts from David Blackenhorn, a man who wrote a book in 1995 entitled
Fatherless America. Here is some of what he said:
Tonight, 40% of all American children will sleep in a house in which their fathers do not live.
Before the age of eighteen, more than 50% of our children will spend a significant portion of
their childhood living apart from their fathers.
A generation ago, an American child could reasonably expect to grow up with a dad. Today,
an American child can reasonably expect to grow up without one.
Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend in this generation.
Time Magazine recently reported that today we are seeing the “Disappearing Dad.”
They said, “Studies of young criminals have found that more than 70% of juveniles in state reform institutions come from fatherless homes.
Children from broken families are nearly twice as likely as those in two-parent families to drop out of high school” (Dr. Harold White, “Fatherhood”)
Now, more than ever, I believe that as fathers, we need to look for positive role models,
and I believe that Joseph is one of them.
We have to love our wives.
We have to understand that our children are not perfect.
We have to do all that we can do for our families.
IV. Conclusion
One last story…
There was one family who had some children who determined to have a puppy. Mom protested because she knew that somehow, she would end up caring for the critter. True to form, the children solemnly promised that they would take care of it. Eventually, she relented.
They called the puppy, “Danny” and cared for him diligently at first. But, sure enough, as time passed, Mom found herself becoming more and more responsible for taking care of the dog. Finally, she decided that the children were not living up to their promise and she found a new home for Danny.
She went to tell the children, but when she broke the news to them, she was surprised that they had almost no reaction at all. One of them even said, matter-of-factly, “we’ll miss him.”
“I’m sure we will,” mom replied, “but he is too much work for one person and since I’m the one that has to do all the work, I say he goes.”
“But,” protested another child, “if he wouldn’t eat so much and wouldn’t be so messy, couldn’t we keep him?”
Mom held her ground, “It’s time to take Danny to his new home.” Suddenly with one voice and tears in their eyes, the children exclaimed, “Danny????? We thought you said Daddy!”(Traditional, eSermons.com)
Gentlemen, don’t be a Danny! Be like Joseph, and may your family never confuse you for the family dog!!!
Will you join me in prayer….
God, our Father, in your wisdom and love you made all things, including each and everyone of us. We give you thanks in that you are not absent, but present with us.
Bless our fathers, may they be strengthened by their faith, may they become an example of your love, and may they honor you always.
For those fathers, who have given us life and love, we show them our respect and love.
For those fathers who have lost a child through death, we pray that their faith will bring them
hope and comfort.
For men, though without children, who have nurtured and cared for us as fathers, we give you
thanks.
And for those fathers, who have not been a source of strength, who have not responded to their children, and have not sustained their families, we pray that your Spirit will intercede, letting them see the example of Joseph, giving them an opportunity to step forward and become the father that you would have them to be.
Lord, we know that fathering a child is easy, but being a true father to a child is often difficult. Help to love one another. Help us to live with our imperfections, and help us to do all that we can do for our families.
In the name of Christ we pray….Amen
#710 – Faith of Our Fathers
Closing Benediction…
As we leave this place…
May you experience the grace of our Heavenly Father,
May you experience the redemption found in his Son,
And may you experience the direction, correction, and preservation given through his Spirit. Amen.
Note: If for any reason you did not find this sermon helpful, please let me know by contacting me at gb@clergy.net. Your input will help me personally and my congregation as I learn professionally.
