Loving Your Enemy
In Luke 6 Jesus said, "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ’sinners’ love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ’sinners’ do that. . . . But love your enemies, do good to them. . .
Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked."
F.F. Bruce has a book called Hard sayings of Jesus, where he lists some of the things Jesus told us to do that we have the most difficult time obeying. This one is number 16. Now I don’t know how he decided on the order to put them in, but if I had written that book, this would be at the top of the list. And even though I didn’t particularly pick this topic, I’m glad I got this one, because It’s something I’m struggling with right now.
Now I’m hesitant to mention it, because the last time I stood up here and made a public admission of something I scared some of you to death. Based on what you told me after the sermon, before I got it out that I was admitting to buying a minivan, about a third of you thought I was resigning, about a third of you thought I was getting ready to admit a devastating moral failure, and about a third of you were just holding your breath not sure what I was going to admit.
So I’m naturally hesitant to admit anything else, but this is something I’m seriously struggling with right now.
Some of you know that the man running the company Christi and I had our health insurance with for about a year, stole thousands of dollars of my premiums and stuck me with thousands of dollars of medical bills the company was supposed to pay. He lied to me, he promised me he had sent payment to the doctors and instead he pocketed both my money and that of hundreds of other ministers, all the while using the name "Christian"
in his business name.
And I tell you that to let you know that I have struggled to find love for him and to forgive him (not that he’s asked, but forgiveness often isn’t as much for their benefit, as it is for our benefit). But with God’s help I’m getting there.
And I know that all of us go through things like this—people who hurt us, who cheat us, who rob us, who stab us in the back—doing everything they possibly can to make themselves our enemies. And here’s Jesus telling us to love them—not just tolerate them; not just to "live and let live," but to LOVE them.
Now before we start to think that’s impossible, we have to remember that the love Jesus is telling us to show isn’t that emotional, mushy feeling that the world associates with "love." It’s a volitional act of doing good for someone. And the reason it’s so important for us to be able to love our enemies is what Jesus said in the passage we just read—that even the sinners do that. But the way they’ll see a difference in our life—something that stands out from the world—is if we can learn to respond to enemies with love.
And I want us to look at an example of this from the Old Testament to help us deal with those who try to make enemies of us.
The story is about David and King Saul. After David killed Goliath, Saul brought him to his house and 1 Samuel 18 says that David excelled in everything Saul gave him to do. And because of that Saul gave him a command in his army. But it didn’t take long for Saul to start looking differently at David. And the things that led him to feel differently about David are some of the same things that cause people to cross us today.
The first was jealousy. When it was announced that David had been given a high rank in the army, everyone was happy. As David and some of his men were returning home one time, the people came out and honored David. It was the equivalent of a ticker-tape parade. They sang songs about how Saul had killed thousands, but David had killed tens of thousands. And 1 Samuel 18 records Saul’s thoughts:
"‘They have credited David with tens of thousands,’ he thought, ‘but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?"’And from that time on Saul kept a
jealous eye on David."
So many times people act hatefully toward us because they’re jealous. They envy something in our life that they don’t think they can have, and that frustration and jealousy comes out in hateful actions toward us.
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." The artist said, "But you aren’t wearing any of those things." "I know," she said. "It’s in case I die before my husband. I’m sure he’ll remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.
Jealousy will cause people to treat you hatefully. Saul was jealous that David was getting the accolades from the people that he felt he should have gotten, and it affected the way he treated David for the rest of his life.
Another thing that caused Saul to act hatefully toward David was fear. After David got back to Saul’s house, he was playing the harp, trying to help Saul feel better, when Saul took his spear and tried to pin David to the wall. He tried it twice, but David got away. And 1 Samuel says in v.12 that
"Saul was afraid of David, because the Lord was with David but had left Saul." Verse 16 says that part of the reason Saul was afraid of David was that he saw how successful David was. And that was as a result of the Lord being with him so strongly. And fear can cause people to do things they wouldn’t otherwise do.
Two gas company service men, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee were out checking meters and parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked there way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two
men as they checked her gas meter. As they finished the meter check the older supervisor challenged his younger co-worker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized that the lady from the last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath she said, "When I see two gas men running full speed away from my
house, I figured I had better run too."
Fear—whether well-founded or unreasonable—can motivate people to do a lot of things they wouldn’t otherwise do, and sometimes it makes people act hatefully. Whether it’s fear of losing a promotion at work because you’re out-performing them, or fear of the results of
a project you’re planning, or fear that people will look at them negatively if they start thinking more of you, fear is a big motivator. And our society experiences this kind of fear, it seems, more and more.
In 1975, poodles were the most popular purebred dog in America, with 139,750 registered. There were only 952 registered Rottweilers, a fierce breed often used as a
guard dog. By 1994, the poodle population had been cut in half, while Rottweilers had increased 100 times.
We’re a society that lives in fear—fear of being robbed; fear of being hurt; fear of being done wrong; and that fear can lead to hateful behavior, just as it did for Saul.
Another thing that can lead people to hateful actions is pain. In fact, I think this is one of the most prevalent reasons people make enemies of others. Because deep down they’re feeling pain, and that hurt expresses itself in hateful actions.
Saul was jealous of David’s popularity and genuinely scared that David was so successful at whatever he was given to do, and this was topped off by the pain of seeing his own son side with David.
Saul’s son, Jonathan, and David had developed such a strong friendship that they were like brothers. And while Jonathan didn’t want to believe that his father would actually hurt David, he knew that David hadn’t done anything wrong to Saul, and he helped protect
David from his father when Saul started to hunt David down. 1 Samuel 20 says,
"Saul’s anger flared up at Jonathan and he said to him, ‘You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don’t I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you?’" 1 Samuel 20:30 (NIV)
When someone’s hurting, logic doesn’t do any good. Saul was hurt because his own son had taken the side of someone he had made an enemy of. It didn’t matter that Jonathan was right—that David hadn’t done anything to Saul—he saw it as a slap in the face to him. And on top of that, Saul had given his daughter to David as a wife, and when she realized that Saul was going to kill David, she helped David escape too. So Saul felt doubly
betrayed.
And when people are in pain—whether it’s pain from the consequences of their own actions, or something someone has done to them, or even from perceived slights—they’re likely to respond by inflicting pain on others. And this is why Jesus wants us to respond
instead with love—because we’re supposed to be different from the world. And there’s nothing that makes us stand out from the world like the way we respond when someone harms us. So let’s look at how we can actually do what Jesus asked us to do and love our
enemies.
1. The first thing we have to do is find our strength in God.
1 Samuel 23 says, "And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God." 1 Samuel 23:16 (NIV)
It takes a lot of strength to show love someone who’s hurt you, and the only place you’re going to get the strength to do it is from God. Because this goes completely against our human nature. Our nature tells us that you fight fire with fire. You give back as good as you got.
And the only place we can get the strength to resist that pull—to fight the urge to act hatefully—is from God. It takes His strength and His power to do it.
My five-year-old daughter has learned this lesson. The last few nights, when we’ve had our prayer time before bed, she’s been praying that God will help her brother, Brett, have a good attitude the next day. She hasn’t seen the need to pray for that for herself yet, but she
does seem to realize where the strength to do it comes from.
When you look through the Psalms, you see how David found his strength in God. Even when he’s expressing his frustration, he’s expressing it to God, and he knows he’ll find the strength he needs in him. We need to spend time in prayer, asking for God to help us do
what’s right. We need to spend time in His word, learning from those who’ve gone through similar things and how God has helped them. That’s the only way we can do it— to go to the source of our strength. He’s the one who told us to love our enemy, and He’s the one
who can give us the strength to do it.
2. A second thing we need to do to help us love our enemies is to find a Godly friend for help.
The verse we just read tells us that not only did David find strength in God, he got help from a godly friend.
I can’t tell you how important it is to develop close friendships with Christian friends who can help you when you’re struggling to do the right thing. When I was in high school, my closest friends were my friends from my youth group at church. And there were so many
times I was tempted to do things when I was with some of the guys I played ball with at school, and my relationship with these Christian friends helped me to have the strength to do what I should have done. I could go to them with something I was struggling with, and they’d help me.
When you’re trying to respond in love to someone who’d hurt you or wronged you, you need to have a Christian friend to help you. You need to vent, and they can listen. You need to have someone who, when you tell them what you’d LIKE to do, will nod their head and say, "I know, but there’s a better way. What can we do to help you do what you know you OUGHT to do, rather than what you WANT to do?"
David had Jonathan, who he loved like a brother. And Jonathan, the Bible says, helped him find strength in God. If you’re going to respond to your enemies with love, you need to find a Christian friend who will help you find strength in God.
3. Another thing that’s important in learning to love those who’ve made themselves your enemies is to look to God’s promises.
One of the things Jonathan did to help David find strength in God was to remind him of God’s promises. David had already been chosen by God to succeed Saul. David knew that. But he was having trouble remembering it because Saul was trying his level best to kill
him. But Jonathan reminded him of God’s promise. In 1 Samuel 23 he tells David,
"‘Don’t be afraid,’ he said. ‘My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.’" 1 Samuel 23:17 (NIV)
God had promised David that he would be king, and he was reassured, even through the difficult times, that God would protect him.
When God makes a promise, it’s solid. It’s a done deal. And when we’re facing the actions of someone who is dead set on making our life miserable, the only way we’re going to be able to let God’s strength flow; the only way we’re going to be able to make it is to trust in God’s promises. Look at some of the promises God makes to us:
He promises to never leave us or forsake us.
He promises that when we’re tempted to respond in a way we shouldn’t, that He’ll provide a way of escape.
He promises us strength when we’re weary.
He gave us His Holy Spirit as a down payment on our ultimate reward, which includes freedom from problems like having enemies.
And when we’re suffering through the pain and anger and frustration that come when someone seems dead set on making himself our enemy, it’s the promises of God that keep us going and give us some perspective.
By the way, trusting in God’s promises doesn’t mean being naive. God made promises toDavid about his protection, but He didn’t just provide a force field around David. David still had to be wise in his dealings with Saul. He didn’t just present himself to Saul when he knew Saul was trying to kill him.
Trusting God and depending on His promises doesn’t mean being naive. Loving your enemy and forgiving someone for wrongdoing doesn’t necessarily include blind trust. If I pay an accountant to take care of my finances and he steals from me, then apologizes, I’m to forgive him, but that doesn’t mean that I automatically give him control of my money again right away.
If you’ve been abused by your spouse and he apologizes, you’re to forgive him, but that doesn’t mean that you let him right back in the house. There needs to be some
demonstration of repentance and change of behavior—and that can take time.
And trusting God’s promises doesn’t mean that we have to naively and blindly put ourselves in harm’s way. We should forgive and be willing to allow that trust to be rebuilt,but that doesn’t mean we’re to be blind.
David trusted God’s promises, but he still didn’t stand there and dare Saul to try to hurthim. And at any time he would have been willing to have Saul repent, but Saul would only do it temporarily, and then he’d be back on the hunt for David again.
But all throughout their trouble, David was comforted by relying on God’s promises. And when we’re dealing with the Saul’s in our life, we have to take comfort in God’s promises.
Well, finding strength in God and a godly friend, and leaning on God’s promises are important, but at some point we have to act.
4. And when that time comes, fourthly, we have to repay evil with good.
This is where the rubber meets the road. This is the tough part. It’s one thing to keep from responding to hate with hate, harm with harm. It’s another thing entirely to respond to hate with love. But that’s what Jesus tells us to do.
While running from Saul while Saul was trying to kill him, David faced an amazing opportunity. He found Saul, unsuspecting and alone. 1 Samuel 24 says,
"He came to the sheep pens along the way; a cave was there, and Saul went in to relieve himself. David and his men were far back in the cave. The men said, ‘This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal
with as you wish.’ Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe." 1 Samuel 24:3–4 (NIV)
Here was the perfect opportunity to get rid of the threat. In fact, David could have even rationalized that this was God’s work—fulfilling his promise that he would become king. His men even tried to argue that. But David chose to respond in love. He cut off the corner of Saul’s robe, and let him know that he had had the opportunity to kill him, and didn’t. And when Saul realized that, he repented—at least for a while. V.16 says,
"When David finished saying this, Saul asked, "Is that your voice, David my son?" And he wept aloud. "You are more righteous than I," he said. "You have treated me well, but I have treated you badly. You have just now told me of the good you did to me; the Lord delivered me into your hands, but you did not kill me. When a man finds his enemy, does he let him get away unharmed? May the Lord reward you well for the way you treated me
today."
Love has an amazing power. It doesn’t always have as immediate a threat as this, but it has tremendous power to break down walls.
On April 28, 1999, just eight days after the Columbine shooting, shock rock singer Marilyn Manson was scheduled to perform a concert in Iowa City, Iowa. And since Manson’s music was prominent in the lives of Columbine killers Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, there was a lot of emotion surrounding his concert. Mark Forstrom, a local Youth Minister in the area wrote about what happened. He wrote,
The police, the media, and the community began to prepare for angry protests and ugly brawling between Christians and Marilyn Manson supporters.
Suddenly, something totally unexpected happened. Emerging thru the vehicle of e-mail, another local movement suddenly sprang to life— that the only way to truly change our moral climate is to soften hard hearts. (The hearts of Manson fans have been hardened by their perception that Christians are mean-spirited, hateful, and judgmental.) Thus, the idea was birthed to unravel that stereotype by encouraging Christians to show the pure LOVE of Christ to these fans in tangible ways.
Concert day finally arrived, and tension filled the community. The media geared up for an ugly battle between Manson fans and the Christian opposition.
Instead, what they observed here was an amazing testament to the power of and love of Christ! Scores of Christians from churches all over Linn County and as far away as Des Moines (2 hours away) converged on the sidewalks outside the Five Seasons Center, to do two POSITIVE things: pray, and to show unmistakable love. It was a sight to behold.
~ Groups conducted "prayer walks" around the arena.
~ People prayed in huddles on the sidewalk.
~ Churches around the city held special prayer meetings.
As for showing LOVE to the fans,
~ One church purchased 100 pizzas, which were freely given away to the fans in line and bystanders.
~ Cookies and over 1,200 cans of soda were purchased or donated and distributed.
~ Someone made turkey & cheese sandwiches and gave them away.
~ One pastor asked Manson fans who passed by how he could pray for them--about 20 shared specific things & were prayed for on the spot.
~ After the concert, about $200 in cash (collected mostly by a local youth group) was given out to pay for parking in the parking ramp. The Christians involved said, "We’re Christians and we’d like to show you God’s love by paying for your parking tonight." The immediate results of this love in action were phenomenal:
~ People continually asked, "Why are you doing this?" and then listened to the answer.
~ Two "live" radio reporters (one inside the stadium and one outside) discussed--on the air--how preferable it was to be outside with the generous Christians.
~ At least 3 people gave their lives to Christ through the loving care of the Christians.
~ At least one other fan that we know of chose not to go to the concert, ending up in church the following Sunday.
~ After getting the pizza, one kid commented, "Wow, Marilyn Manson never gave me anything!"
~ A Marilyn Manson web-site, reporting on our Christian response admitted, "so maybe those Christians aren’t half bad!"
As for the concert itself, we saw God work a miracle there as well. After only an hour, Manson abruptly ended the concert early. He suddenly flew into a rage: he threw his microphone to the ground, and stormed off the stage, never to return!
So to summarize the totality of Marilyn Manson’s visit to Cedar Rapids, we might say this: many fans came to the concert convinced that Christians were irritating and that Marilyn Manson was impressive and many left the concert feeling that Marilyn Manson was irritating and that Christians were impressive! Think of how much closer to the kingdom thousands of kids might be as a result of this unforeseen outreach event. [end] . . . .
There is a tremendous power in love. When you respond in love to people who hurt you, who cheat you, who stab you in the back, there’s a tremendous power in that. The Bible says that doing it "heaps burning coals on his head." Go to God for strength, trust His promises, and respond to evil with good.
The last thing I want us to see goes hand in hand with that, and that’s to leave the vengeance to God. The reason David didn’t harm Saul was that he knew that it wasn’t his place to deal with Saul, it was God’s. Even though those around him urged him to kill him.
Saul’s repentance from David’s sparing of his life was short lived, and he soon went back to hunting down David. And just like before, David found Saul when he was vulnerable, this time while he was sleeping. Abishai, one of his men tried again to talk David into killing Saul. And Chapter 26 of 1 Samuel says,
"But David said to Abishai, ‘Don’t destroy him! Who can lay a hand on the Lord’s anointed and be guiltless? As surely as the Lord lives,’ he said, ‘the Lord himself will strike him; either his time will come and he will die, or he will go into battle and perish. But the Lord forbid that I should lay a hand on the Lord’s anointed. Now get the spear and water jug that are near his head, and let’s go.’"
Our natural instinct is to respond to evil with vengeance.
Maybe you heard about the Desert Storm soldier who while he was overseas received a Dear John letter from his girlfriend back home in the states. To add insult to injury, she wrote, "Will you please return my favorite photograph of myself-- I need it for my
engagement picture in the local newspaper."
The poor guy was devastated, but all the soldiers came to his rescue. They went throughout the entire camp and collected pictures of all the guys’ girlfriends. They filled up an entire shoe box and sent it to the girl along with a note from the guy saying, "Please find
your picture, and return the rest,---for the life of me, I can’t remember which one you were!!"
That’s our natural reaction—to get revenge, in one fashion or another. But the Bible is clear that vengeance is to be left to God. Romans 12:19 says, "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord."
I wish I could tell you that in the time since I found out I had been cheated, robbed & lied to, that I hadn’t had thoughts of vengeance. I have— more times than I care to admit. I wish I could tell you that my first reaction when I heard he was facing almost 4000
criminal indictments, was "How sad that someone made those choices. I hope God will help him with the difficulties he’s going to face." I wish I could tell you that was my reaction, but it wasn’t. But you know what, trying to take joy in the downfall of people
who’ve hurt you isn’t really satisfying. What’s really satisfying is knowing that regardless of what they do to you, God will help you deal with it.
There’s an uproar these days about a movie that hasn’t even been released yet. Actor Mel Gibson, who’s Catholic, is producing a movie about the last twelve hours of the life of Christ called The Passion. And many Jewish groups are complaining because they feel it
will lead to violence against Jews by Christians who blame them for Jesus’ death.
And when I hear these arguments, both by Jews who are defensive and by some Christians who actually do blame one group of people for Jesus’ death, it bothers me. Because the fact is that I’m the one who’s responsible for Jesus’ death. I sinned and broke my relationship with God. I turned my back on Him. I chose to disobey the one who created me. Those were MY sins that Jesus took on Himself when He died on the cross. I’M
responsible for His death. . . . And so are you. We all are. And the amazing thing to think about was that Jesus responded to all the selfish, spiteful, hateful, sinful things that you and I have done to Him—all the things we’ve done to make Him our enemy—He responded with love.
Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrated His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
We sing the song, "Oh, how I love Jesus; oh, how I love Jesus; oh, how I love Jesus—because He first loved me." Because when I had done everything I could do to make an enemy of Him, He responded in love. The least we could do in response is to offer that love to others.
But you need strength from God to do that. And the starting point is to give your life to Him. Repent of your own sins and confess Him as Lord and be baptized into Him.
