Someone wrote these humorous words entitled, "The World According to Dad." These are words that most dads have said at some time or another to their children.
- This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.
- Quiet. I’m watching the ball game.
- Don’t forget to check the oil.
- Bring back all the change.
- How should I know? Ask your mother.
- I’m not made out of money!
- When I was your age I walked 5 miles to and from school each day and it was uphill both ways.
- You are going and you will have fun!
- Who’s paying the bills around here, anyway?
- If you break your leg don’t come running to me.
- Don’t put your feet on the furniture. Your mother will kill you.
- Get down before you kill yourself. On second thought, go ahead.
- Quit playing with your food.
- Be quiet! Can’t you see I’m trying to think!
- Why? Because I said so!
- If you don’t quit that I’m going to call your mother.
- You better get that junk picked up before your mother comes in here.
- Just wait till you have kids of your own.
- I was not asleep. I was just resting my eyes.
Someone said, "Parents spend the first part of a child’s life urging him to talk and walk, and the rest of his childhood telling him to sit down and keep quiet."
One father said to his teenage son, "Do you mind if I use the car tonight? I’m taking your mother out to eat and I would like to impress her."
Father said to his daughter, "What’s wrong, Judy? Usually you talk on the phone for hours. This time you only talked for 30 minutes. How come?"
Judy replied, "It was the wrong number."
This is my first Father’s Day to celebrate as a Father. I’ve gotten my first Father’s day gift, my first “Happy Father’s Day” wish, my first Father’s Day dirty diaper.
At some point, I’m going to be responsible for cooking the family barbeque. That brings me to this illustration:
THE DEFINITION OF BARBECUING
It’s the only type of cooking a "real man" will do. When a man volunteers to do the ’BBQ’ the following chain of events is put into motion:
1) The woman goes to the store.
2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray
along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the
man, who is lounging beside the grill.
4) The man places the meat on the grill.
5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
10) Everyone praises the man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And,
upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s
just no pleasing some women.
What amazes me today, on this my first real Father’s day, is the lack of real fathers in the world. We celebrate fathers on the third Sunday of the month of June, but yet, they just do not appear much of the rest of the calendar.
What is real manliness? What is God’s plan for the man? If you get a dishwasher, a refrigerator, a stereo, a CD player, etc., you get a book of instructions. If you get a new automobile, you get a book. God has given us a book. It is the Word of God and from the Word of God we’re going to find God’s plan for the man. We’re not going to get it from Tom Brokaw. We’re not going to get it from Alan Greenspan. We’re not even going to get it from Dr. Phil. We’re going to have to find out from God’s Word what God’s plan for the man is.
We are going to look at one verse this morning, found in Genesis 18. I want you to turn in your Bibles there this morning, and let’s look at verse 19.
For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him."
Now, let me explain this passage a little bit. God had just visited Abraham at the ripe old age of 99. He told Abraham that he would have a son by this time next year. Both he and his wife Sarah laughed. 13 Then the LORD said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh and say, ’Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ 14 Is anything too hard for the LORD ? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son."
There’s every indication that from the passage, Abraham did not know that this was the Lord who had visited him, but it started to become obvious. After this little visit, God started heading toward Sodom and Gomorrah, and He begins to talk amongst himself about what he is going to do to that city. You see, the problem was that Lot lived there, and Lot was Abraham’s nephew.
Then the LORD said, "Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do? 18 Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him. 19 For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him."
Now listen—I told you that this was not coming from Brokaw, or Greenspan, or even Dr. Phil. Who was the one who spoke those words in Genesis 18:19? GOD! God chose him, and chose him for several specific reasons. It’s these three reasons that I want to look at tonight.
A real father is one who will direct his children.
Ephesians 6:4 tells us “4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
Proverbs 22
6 Train [1] a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.
You know, the shame of it is today that men try and shirk their responsibility. We tend to leave things for the Mom’s to do, and a real father will not do that. A real father will invest the time in directing his children.
There’s a story told of a man asking his daughter if she would want quality time with her dad or quantity time with her dad. She replied, “Quality time, Dad, and lots of it!”
I read about a little girl who drew a pretty picture. She went in her dad’s
office. Crawled on his lap. And said, "Daddy, come and see my picture."
And the dad said, "Not now, honey. Dad’s busy."
About 10 minutes later, she came back again. Crawled on his lap. And said,
"Daddy, will you come see my picture now?"
And the dad got frustrated. And said, "Can’t you see I’m busy? Don’t bother
me right now. I’ll come and look at your picture later. When I’m ready."
A couple of hours later, the dad came out. And he said to the daughter, "Can
I see the picture now?" And the girl said, "Sure." And it was a picture of
her and her brother and her mom standing on the lawn. With the family dog.
With big smiles. On a sunny day. But the dad noticed that he wasn’t in the
picture. And so the dad said, "That’s a nice picture, sweetheart. But how
come I’m not in the picture?"
And the girl said, "Because you’re working in your office, daddy."
I read a story about a Christian attorney. And he was talking about the
influence of his father on his life. And he said, "The greatest gift my
dad ever gave me was when I was a little boy. It was a small box. Inside the
box was a note saying, "Son, this year I will give you 365 hours, an hour
every day after supper. It’s all yours. We’ll talk about what you want to
talk about. We’ll go where you want to go. Play what you want to play. It
will be your hour."
"My dad not only kept his promise," the lawyer said, "but every year he
renewed it. It is the greatest gift I ever had in my life. And I am the
Christian man I am today because of my dad."
Time is a gift you give that you can never get back. You can give money, and always make more. You can give gifts, because you can always get new things anyway. But once time is given, it never comes back. Time reveals the priorities in your life. I’ve talked about a pie chart before, showing how much time you invest in different aspects of your life. How much time does your family get, Dad? How much time does your children get?
From Deuteronomy 6—“ These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
How do you learn something—by repeating it! Let me tell you a secret—I don’t spend much time in Bible memorization. I spend time in Bible repetition. I repeat verses over and over and over again, with no attempt to sit and memorize a verse, because I’ve found that I will remember something better if I repeat it constantly than sit and focus on a phrase at a time. But you know what? It takes time!
I made no conscious effort to memorize 2 Peter 1:3, but I did, simply because I repeatedly read it over and over again, both to you and in sermon preparation.
Guess what—you can’t direct your children in the way they should go unless you take the time to tell them—over and over again. Time is the most precious gift you can give to your children and family—are you directing them in the right way? A real father will.
We are to direct our children.
But not only that, we are to direct the entire household.
For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him.
It’s not just the children, it’s the whole family.
Let me read to you 1 Timothy 5
1 Timothy 5
8If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
I think we’ve got this part down. I don’t think provision of wealth is a problem. Most men work, and work hard, for their money to provide for their family. The problem comes when men work and have no time for their family.
Have you ever seen the movie "The Godfather?" There’s a scene in the beginning
where the godfather is talking to one of his sons. And he says, "Sonny, do
you spend time with your family?" And Sonny said, "Yes, father." And the
Godfather says, "Good. Because a man who doesn’t spend time with his family
isn’t a real man."
Ephesians 5: 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
I think the greatest travesty that has happened to the world today is that the men have lost interest in walking in the ways of God. You can see it in churches across this country. Men have fallen away from spiritual things.
Now, I’m want to speak directly to the men here. Ladies, don’t think you can tune out because I think this is important for everyone. Men, listen. Don’t ever get the idea that religion and spirituality is primarily a job for the woman and the children. God demands more spirituality from the man than the woman. God puts a bigger responsibility on the man than on a woman. And if our home is not right, we share the primary responsibility. Not her and not the children. Men, we are the head of the home. And as such, we should take responsibility for it. It begins with us walking in the ways of God, and then being an example to our family.
This is from the passage speaking of the requirements of a pastor: 4He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)
Maybe you’re sitting there thinking “I’m not a pastor, so I don’t have to worry about that.” You know what—that’s wrong thinking. All men should manage their own family well, and see that our children obey us with proper respect. No man escapes that standard of fathering. And a real father would not even try.
We need to train our households—be the head of the house.
Finally, and most importantly, we need to direct ourselves.
For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just
Not only do you need to direct your children, not only do you need to direct your household, but you need to direct yourselves.
There is a way that God wants us to live. We are to follow His ways and do what is right and just.
Psalm 128
1 Blessed are all who fear the LORD ,
who walk in his ways.
2 You will eat the fruit of your labor;
blessings and prosperity will be yours.
3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
within your house;
your sons will be like olive shoots
around your table.
4 Thus is the man blessed
who fears the LORD .
We need to do what is right. We need to do what is just. In case you missed it, here it is again: AND I WANT YOU TO READ THIS WITH ME IN YOUR NOTES, MICAH 6:8.
Micah 6
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
What’s that mean? Let me read this to you in the Message paraphrase:
Micah 6
8But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
what GOD is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously--
take God seriously.
A real father will do just that.
Fathers, this is our day. Hopefully, we are being honored for how we walk—in our lives, in directing our children, and our families. I hope you enjoy it, but more importantly, I hope you live up to it.
