Helpful Hints for a Happy Home
Pastor Glenn Newton May 23, 2004
1PE 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat
them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life,
so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
1PE 3:8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as
brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult,
but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10
"Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips
from deceitful speech. 1PE 3:11 He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace
and pursue it.1PE 3:12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive
to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." 1Pet. 3:7-12
Warren Buffet is one of the richest men in America. In 1997, among the 70 or so people
in this country who were worth 1 Billion dollars or more, Buffet was the only one of only
a few who acquired his wealth through investing. Many investors look to him for
investment advice. His firm Berkshire Hathaway has one of the most widely read annual
reports issued. And a book has been written about his investment stategies; it’s called the
Warren Buffett Way.
If you could sit down with Warren Buffet for a while and get some investement tips
wouldn’t you do that?
This morning I want you to think with me, Imagine that you family is your greatest capital.
If you could get some good tips, some helpful hints on how to make it get stronger,
healtheir, better in quality would you be interested?
Well this morning we have something much better than the Warren Buffet Way as an
instruction manual. We hold in our hands a treasurer of investment strategies for growing
our family relationships. The Bible, God’s Word contains countless pro-family principles
for us to take hold of. If we learn and practice them they will make our family very
wealthy in our relationships.
Today I want to share a couple of Helpful Hints that can help have a Happy Home!
1. Work towards Understanding Each Other.
How many of you have VCR’s at home? How many of you understand how to program it
to tape a show for tomorrow and the next day? There’s a big difference between owning
something and understanding how it works.
How many of you work with folks who speak spansish? You have probably figured out
that just becuase you learn the meaning of a word or two doesn’t mean you understand
the language, am I right? To come to the place where you could understand the spanish
language would take a lot of work, alot of learning.
This is true in our relationships... To truely understand each other, it takes alot of work on
our part, it takes some patience, and it takes time spent together learning about each
Our passage says in verse 7, 1PE 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you
live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs
with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Men we are instructed here by God’s Word to understand our wives... Now I know some
of you are thinking, “I would rather learn Quantum physics than try to figure out my
wife.” That’s not nice.
I’m sure wives feel the same way about us. If you have been here on Sunday nights we
have been learning about the differences between men and women, we have been learning
about how God has made us completely different in the way that we think, and our
relational skills come from opposite sides of our brains. What all that means is that we as
men especially, have to make a choice to be relational, we have to choose to do the kind
of things that our mate needs to make this relationship work the way God intended.
Our Scripture is addressed to Husbands, but obviously this is a relationship principle that
can be applied to all of us, and not just in our marraige relationships, but also in our work
place, with our friends, with our extended family. What does the Scripture say?
“Be considerate..... and treat them with respect...” repeat.
To be considerate and to treat them with respect brings us back to the one word that I
have used over and over again.... You need to spell this word out on the walls of your
home. HONOR. We need to Honor each other.
One way to honor or to be considerate of someone else, is to make what is important to
the other person as important to you as the other person is to you.
For instance, one father who was not much of a sports fan, had a son who developed an
interest in hockey. So one year he took his son to as many hockey games as he could. It
cost him some money and time, but proved to be a strong bonding experience for them.
One of his friends asked him in the midst of the hockey season, “Do you like hockey that
much?” He said, “No, but I like my son that much!”
We can develope an understanding spirit, a spirit of honor... How? By making the time to
really get to know each other. By making it a point to really listen to each other. I believe
it was Yoggi Berra who said, “You can hear an awful lot just by listening.”
JAS 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow
to speak and slow to become angry, Maybe some of the best relationship advice ever
written. Quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. That would be good to
write on your walls too...
Helpful Hint #2 - Keep Your Commitments
It has been said we should be “generous with praise, but cautious with promises.” Parents
we need to do everything we can to keep promises that we make to our children. Spouses
we need to do everything we can to keep our promises to one another. Teens, you need
to do everything you can to keep your promises to your parents.
We have been created in the Image of God, and one of the ways we are to look like God
is we are to be a people of covenent. When we say something, we need to do it. When
we promise, we keep it. How do we train our children to be promise keepers... let them
see how important it is to you, and let them see you do it.
When we keep our commitments, it builds trust. And there is no such thing as a healthy
relationship apart from trust. Trust is the firm foundation upon which a family is built.
Sometimes keeping your commitments can be costly. There has been a few times that I
have promised my kids or my wife that I would do something with them a week or two
ahead of time. As that date approached, something would come up that I really needed to
do, something that was really important to me, but I had already made a commitment... so
I kept my promise to my family and let the other thing go.
Let me tell you Dads.... I would much rather let all those good things go than let my
family go... wouldn’t you? Keep your promises, make a commitment and follow through.
Let me read some promises that all of you who are married have made.... and I want you
to ask yourself... am I keeping my vows... Read Marriage vows......
Helpful Hint #3 - Ask for and offer Forgiveness
Everyone of us who has lived with people, lived with family, friends, we have learned that
people will disappoint us at some point, at some level. Disappointment comes when our
expectations aren’t met in a relationship. We all need to be willing to ask for Forgiveness
when we have messed up, and we need to willing to give forgiveness when we have been
the one hurt.
One couple who was celebrating 55 years of marriage was asked, what were the secrets to
their long and happy marriage? One of the answers contained much wisdom, “You
overlook a lot of the little things and you forgive each other.”
Do you know what I hear in there? “Be considerate of each other, and show
respect for one another.”
Col. 3:13, 14 says, 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may
have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these
virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Just as we have experienced forgiveness from God we are to forgive others.
The Spanish have a story about a father and a son who became estranged. The son
left home, and the father later set out to find him. He searched for months with no
success. Finally, in desperation, the father turned to the newspaper for help, His ad simply
read, “Dear Paco, meet me in front of this newspaper office at noon on Saturday. All is
forgiven. I love you. Your father.” On Saturday, 800 young men named Paco showed
up looking for forgiveness from their estranged fathers.
Is there anyone in your home that needs your forgiveness. Forgive each other as God has
Let’s be people filled with Grace, full of compassion, and ready to forgive when needed.
That’s a picture of the God I serve.... I want to look like Him don’t you? I want His spirit
to be in me, to control me, to fill me in every way so that my actions and attitudes look
Will you pray with me this morning.... Pray for healing in our families.... Pray for yourself
to be the kind of parent, the kind of mate that God wants.... I know you believe in family,
I know you believe they are a priority, so... let’s pray that God would help us to build
strong, healthy families.....
music.... the music going to play... I invite you to stand with me, and come and lets pray
for Happy Homes