What is a Family
Third in the series
What is Love?
We have covered both the male and female roles in a marriage or relationship. We also touched a little on love. I, however, have been directed to teach in alittle more detail on love here. Love, as we see it, is usually an emotional feeling down in the heart. I want to take this to the next step. I want to define love so there is no misunderstanding. There is, in our minds, several types of love. There is the love we have for our partner, children, parents, family, friends and God. I am sure we have other types of love also. We state that we love a certain food, our vehicle, a sport, our pets and many more. This sermon is going to teach you what love is and how we are to love.
I am going to start with 1 John 4:18
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
I am starting here for a reason. You need to understand that there is not to be any fear in love. Perfected love casts out all fears. What is perfect love? Perfect love is a love that is deeper than just in the heart. It is a love that not only is felt, but that one has submitted the mind to also. God submitted Himself to love us even as sinners. His submission was so great that He sent His only begotten Son to die for us. Something I must point out, Jesus did not die for the saved or the believer, He died for the lost, for the sinner. The pain and grief that accompanied the sending of Christ can only be imagined by us.
I can tell you from watching my Mother, as she had to let my sister go to be with the Lord, the pain was almost unbearable. I would have to say that the pain that God felt was the same. How deep is that love? It is a love so deep that you can submit yourself to the pain and grief of allowing your own child to die. This is a perfect love in my mind. It is a love so deep and so pure that it is not just a subconscience act of a heart. It is a deep committed decision done through willingly submitting your mind to this love.
So what is love? Love is a commitment to submit to another. Again, let me point out, it is a Godly submission that I am talking about here. It is a submission of service not one of domination. I am going to try to go very slow here in this message. It is very important that we all understand how to love. If you never learn how to love then you will never truly experience perfect love. It can be a love so deep and so pure it casts out all fears. It can be a love that allows you to be completely submitted to another. I also want to take a little closer look at some things that prevent this love from developing. I have written on restoration through forgiveness, and I have decided that I need to cover alittle about this here.
Most, if not all, of us have things in our past that seem to be holding us back. Many times we offer an apology and even ask for forgiveness. Something that I have learned through God’s great wisdom is that it is just as important for us to forgive ourselves. You see, when we confess our sins, God doesn’t just forgive them He wipes them out. This is what we must do also. Let me try to help a little here. The first thing we must do is own our past mistakes. Stop laying blame elsewhere and making excuses. As long as we continue to lay blame and make excuses we will never learn or feel perfect love. You have to be able to love yourself before you can love another.
Though it may be difficult to do, we need to ask God for forgiveness, give the past sins and wrongs to Him, and let them go from ourselves. You will find that once you have done that, you will truly be open to a love like you have never experienced before. It is a love that is so complete that you will never feel fear. So the first step to loving another is to love yourself. You can do this little thing. You may need to write the things down. Make your own list of the past sins that you carry with you today. I know it is hard, I did this. After you have your list written down, go to prayer. Confess each one, but take it one step farther. Do not just confess, surrender it to God. Make sure you check each one off as you do this. Once this is done, then you need to let them go from yourself. Now remember, you just surrendered them to God. He has taken them and lifted them from your shoulders. He now has the burden, so give it to Him completely.
And now that we have covered that, let’s see how we can have perfect love. I tend to gravitate towards Paul’s epistles when studying the Bible. I am going to use them here also. First, let’s look at what love is. Love is so much more than the heart feeling all good inside, that, as people say, warm fuzzy feeling. It is a decision in the mind to love. Let me try to lay it out this way. In the KJV Paul uses the word charity in 1 Cor 13. Other translations use the word love in place of charity. I like to use the word charity as it completely teaches the true aspect of love. You see, we give charity not for the recognition, nor because something is given to us. We give to charity because we care (Love) enough that we are not seeking the earthly reward for this. We give not because they love us but because we love. Starting to understand yet?
And now that we have covered that, let’s see how we can have perfect love. I tend to gravitate towards Paul’s epistles when studying the Bible. I am going to use them here also. First, let’s look at what love is. Love is so much more than the heart feeling all good inside, that, as people say, warm fuzzy feeling. It is a decision in the mind to love. Let me try to lay it out this way. In the KJV Paul uses the word charity in 1 Cor 13. Other translations use the word love in place of charity. I like to use the word charity as it completely teaches the true aspect of love. You see, we give charity not for the recognition, nor because something is given to us. We give to charity because we care (Love) enough that we are not seeking the earthly reward for this. We give not because they love us but because we love. Starting to understand yet?
That is okay you will by the time we are done. Lets look at 1 Cor 13.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. 11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
First, I must tell you that before Paul describes love here in these verses, he explained that no matter what else we have if we do not have love we have nothing. He took great measures to explain this. So, just as important as it is to know how to love and what love is, you must understand that the greatest of man with out love is absolutely nothing. So what is Paul telling us?
First, he tells us that it suffers long. This means that through all trials, adversities and persecutions it will prevail or last. It suffers all the weaknesses, ignorances and infirmities of the children of God. It will also suffer the malice and wickedness of the children of this world. It does not just suffer for a time, but for a long time, until the end. It does not just suffer but it is kind. No matter what the challenge, it is loving with great sweetness and affection. Then we are taught that even more than kindness, it is not envious. It does not envy what others have on this earth. Love doesn’t care about the earthly rewards that one may have here. Even more so, it should want others to have more, they should be favored more than me. It does not look to be rewarded, applauded or singled out.
I understand this is getting long so let me try to sum up the rest of these verses so we can move ahead. Love is not rude, brutal, or unmannered. Love behaves in all things and is more concerned with the neighbors spiritual welfare than their own life. Love is not easily provoked, not irritated, sour, or bitter. It doesn’t think evil, never thinks there is an alternative motive for things done. It rejoices in the truth. You have to understand that this means even rejoicing when the truth may hurt. Truth is absolutely a requirement in love. Love will bear all things of this world. No matter what it is, love will prevail through it. Love never keeps records of wrongs, doesn’t look for someone to blame. Love will bear all things and endure through them all. Love never fails.
Now that we have covered love in general, let’s try to break it down a little more. We see couples all the time. They seem to be so in love and happy, then all of a sudden this happiness seems to be gone. They split up or, worse yet, they stay together in a miserable unhappy relationship. Their love was never a true love, it was a love of the heart. Possibly even a love of lust. I often see the key chains, bumper stickers and other items that have "WWJD" on them. This is absolutely the approach we must take in love. "What Would Jesus Do" is the only way we can love and love completely. Through out the Bible we hear how Jesus loved us. He washed the disciples feet, broke bread to feed thousands, cured the sick and diseased, and even raised the dead. Then He was nailed to that cross after a horrific beating. He prayed for those who nailed Him there. He prayed not just for the ones who nailed Him, but those who caused it to be done. He then, even in His last minutes of life here, continued to give sinners eternal life.
If we can learn to love 1/4 as much as Christ does there would be a great reduction of divorce, domestic violence, murder, rape, theft and on and on. We have to begin to be less greedy, less envious of others, less bitter and angry. We have to, not just forgive, forget. We have to stop holding records of the wrongs others have done and let them go. The anger will hold you back and will lead to fear.
Love absolutely is more than an emotion, it is an ever present submission of one’s mind to love. It is a decision to love others as God loves. God is very specific in his inspired text and sent Jesus to show us how to love. It is because He first loved us that we are able to love others. He showed us in so many ways and taught us. He was a servant and thus so should we be. And because of how He loves us we are able to love with a perfect love.
Pastor David Azbell
4/30/04
