Busy, Busy, Busy
Montreal/Cornwall
October 16, 2004
“Busy” is the hallmark of our times. I don’t know how many times I ask people, “How are you doing?” and the answer, more commonly than not, is “Busy”. It has become somewhat of a ‘badge of honour’ to wear, it seems. I’m not asking people how busy they are…I genuinely want to know ‘how’ they are doing. That doesn’t have a lot to do with how busy they are, really. This obsession with being ‘busy’ is, actually, one convenient way to keep from relationships. If someone says to you that they are busy, you’ll back away from trying to take any of their time; I’ll back away from you if that is the answer. What is being said is often, really, “I’m too busy to stop and form a relationship with you.”
Many live lives that are out-of-control, where circumstances, including work, run them around. Without question, we all have a lot to do. Just think of some of the activities that fill our lives:
- work- about 9 hours/day
- travel- to and from work- maybe 2 hours/day for some/many
- school
- sleep- hopefully 8 hours/day, but not so for most in North America
- eating- hopefully a couple of hours/day
- time with family
- church- for us, that’s about 4 hours/week or so- maybe a bit more depending on travel time involved
- study
- Quiet time
- Shopping
- Transporting children to school and other activities
- Cooking
- Lawn & garden care
- Keeping vehicles clean and maintained
There are many other activities. How are we to get control of our lives? This is a big question for many. Work runs many. Family runs others. As Christians, we’re no different. In fact, we can have a worse time, because we have spiritual needs and obligations added to all the rest, so our lot can be, actually, worse than that of others, unless we get some things straight. How are we to order our lives, or prioritize our lives? How can we get everything done that we need to get done in our lives? We need to understand our priorities, and work around them.
Matt.6.33- gives us our big, over-arching thrust of our lives. We are to be seeking God’s Kingdom. This is to be a dominating concern of our lives. Now, your neighbour might not have to worry about this. He/she might give no concern to the matters of God’s Kingdom and family. However, you, because God has interfered in your life and brought you into His family, have to be concerned about Kingdom matters. This gives us all a dominating concern for our lives. But where do we go from this? This seeking first is all well and good, but how does it translate into reality as we go through our days? How does it translate into handling all these things we have to do, and handling them as well as, or better, than the unbelievers who might live around us?
I believe Jesus answers this in the two great commandments He gave us for our lives, and He shows us how to prioritize our lives in a way that works and actually simplifies our lives.
Matt.22.36-39- we see our first areas of concern, which tell us where we need to focus in our lives.
First of all, we have to love God. So, our first priority in life is God. This is a hard one, sometimes, because we have so many other things going on and we can devolve into giving Him only the scraps and leftovers of our lives. We can lean on expressions like, “He’ll understand”, and the like, to justify this approach. However, WE need a relationship with God. He isn’t the needy one- we are- you/me/ everyone. The sooner we understand and accept this, the better it is for us all. The apostle Paul tells us that there will be difficulties, because of other matters of life that get in the way.
1 Cor. 7.32-33- this is simply a reality of life. However, it doesn’t change the reality of the need to focus on God, first. Whether it’s a wife or husband, job, schooling, or church or volunteer opportunity you have, that forms a big part of your life, your first priority, under the giant umbrella of seeking first the kingdom of God and God’s righteousness if to develop your relationship with God. God, in a well-ordered life, will be first.
Let me be clear, that this does not refer to church activities, parachurch activities, volunteer opportunities in the church, and the like. This is referring solely to the relationship with God- to your developing that relationship.
So, for you, work can’t be first, wife/husband can’t be first, children can’t be first, and church can’t be first. God must be first, and all others will find security and comfort about you when they see that reality. What do you need to do? That is for you to figure out. What do you need to do in order to have a good relationship with God? What time do you need to devote to God? I can’t speak for you, but I can tell you what I’ve done for 30 and more years. I’ve worked backward from when I need to be going out the door or from an activity- even making breakfast. I want a certain amount of time to pray and to be in the Word of God. So, I need to get up that much sooner in order to accommodate those. If I don’t do this in the morning, I don’t do as well at any other time of the day. I have quiet times with God throughout the day, but the major one is in the morning, for me. Some days, this has meant that I’ve had to get up at 5 a.m. or 5.30- normally, it’s about 6 a.m., in order to let Him know that He’s first in my life and that’s the way I want it to be. It’s good for me to cement this early in the day, as well. You might handle this differently, of course, but handle it you must, or else your life will be out-of-control. For us, as Christians, this means that the other end of our day is affected, too. If we find that we have to get up earlier, then we have to go to bed earlier, too- all to be certain of time for that primary relationship in our lives.
I’m amazed by Christians in Korea who go to prayer meetings at 5.30 a.m. on their way to work, then are at work for 7 a.m. for mandatory calisthenics and other exercises, at their places of work, before starting the day. I don’t know when those who are Christian end their days, but they start early, certainly.
Then, we’re told who is next? It is who? Matt.22.39- it’s our neighbours. Who are our closest neighbours? Spouse, then family, then others. We have relationships to be developing with those closest to us, in a well-ordered life. Let me be clear, we haven’t even got to such matters as work, or even church attendance, yet, have we? No. But, we’re talking about relationships, and understanding that activities like work and church overlay what we’re doing on the relationship side. We cannot, for instance, stay away from work because we’re not doing so well with God, or spouse, or child today, for instance. However, in the prioritization of life, and the establishing of how to use that ‘extra’ time we have, our relationships are very important.
Over the years, many Christians have lost their families, needlessly, and without God’s blessing, because of working too much or, even, serving too much in the church. Many church leaders have lost marriages and families, and the bone-pile of those who have done this is much larger than it should be. Striving for success in church work has left too many families eating dust, and simply giving up on God and their primary relationships. This is not for us to do. God values our marriages and our families. He has put us together in them and He is the glue (through the activity of Jesus in us) that keeps them together. Let us not belittle that or fail to acknowledge that reality. Let us, as we set time to develop the relationship with God, set time to develop the relationship with our spouse and family.
Some Christians have far too many obligations, feeling that they have to fill their lives, and that if someone asks them to do something that might involve serving or church work, that they cannot say ‘no’. Yes, you can. God wants you to be able to say ‘no’, and to do so from the perspective of keeping priorities straight. He, we know, wants us in church. Beyond that, there is no command or instruction. Although prayer meetings are good, and I encourage attending them, if you need to stay home to develop your relationship with your spouse or family, then great. You can come to prayer meetings and add a dimension to your relationship with God and ‘others’ that can be very enriching. If you can’t attend every church social because of your need to meet with God, spouse, or family, then great. However, you can combine all and attend a social, meet with God, spouse and family, all at the same time. There are many creative ways to fulfill the prioritizing of our lives that is best.
Conclusions
Priorities are hard to set and hard to maintain. However, God has given us ours, so it’s easy, and we can know that we’re doing what we should be doing when we are keeping priorities. Seeking the fullness of the Kingdom and God’s righteousness in our lives gives us the overview or overlay for our lives. Under that, we need to be focusing on relationships- with God, spouse, family, then others. If we’ll keep this order of things in our lives, we’ll get done what is most important. Maybe we’ll have to let some other activities go. For instance, Christians will likely watch less television than non-Christians and maybe go to fewer movies or other entertainment venues, although some of those can be combined with developing relationships with family and others, so they don’t have to be out of our lives. I used to take my younger daughters with me everywhere- to the bank, the store, the car wash, visiting members- I combined a lot of activities- I’m not sure whether well or not but it seemed to work for us.
IF your desire is, above all, to seek God’s Kingdom and His righteousness in your life, you’ll find creative ways to fulfill the relationship priorities you have. You’ll slow down, too, and you won’t be reveling in being busy. You’ll have an idea of how you really are, when someone asks. Sometimes, we answer ‘busy’ because we simply don’t know how we are. It’s something to think about, isn’t it? Focus, as God’s word urges, and enjoy your most important relationships more, and feel less frantic in living in this fast-paced world of 2004.
