Summary: Building strong families

How To Build A Strong Home

1 Peter 3:1-7

ALL OF US HERE THIS MORNING WANT TO HAVE STRONG HOMES. HOMES THAT WILL SURVIVE THE STORMS OF LIFE.

HOMES THAT WILL SURVIVE THE ATTACKS OF THE ENEMY.

HOMES THAT WILL SURVIVE THE PRESSURES AND DEMANDS OF THE WORLD.

IN ORDER FOR US TO HAVE HOMES LIKE THIS WE MUST HAVE A STRONG, STURDY AND UNSHAKABLE FOUNDATION.

THAT FOUNDATION IS NOTHING OTHER THAN GOD’S WORD. GOD’S WORD HAS STOOD THE TEST OF TIMES AND HAS PROVEN TO BE A STRONG AND STURDY FOUNDATION ON WHICH WE CAN BUILD STRONG HOMES.

IN OUR SCRIPTURE TODAY BROTHER PETER IS WRITING TO HUSBANDS AND WIVES ON HOW TO LIVE AND CONDUCT THEIR LIVES IN RELATION WITH EACH OTHER.

STRONG HOMES BEGIN WITH STRONG MARRIAGES. FIRST OF ALL I FEEL THAT THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT WE NEED TO KNOW.

THE TIME OF PETER’S WRITING. IN PETER’S TIME WOMEN WERE THOUGHT OF ON THE SAME LEVEL AS THE HOUSE HOLD PET.

THE MEN OF PETER’S TIME WERE INFLUENCED BY THE ROMAN CULTURE. THE ROLE OF THE WOMAN WAS PRIMARILY TO COOK, CLEAN HOUSE AND HAVE BABIES. APART FROM THESE ROLES SHE WAS THOUGHT OF AS BEING INFERIOR TO MAN AND NOT IMPORTANT.

SHE WAS NOT GIVEN THE RESPECT AND HONOR THAT GOD HAD ORDAINED THAT SHE HAVE.

THE SECOND THING WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND IS, PETER WAS ADDRESSING A PROBLEM IN THE CHURCH.

THE ACTIONS AND ATTITUDES OF THESE MEN AND WOMEN TOWARD EACH WERE ANYTHING BUT GODLY. THEY WERE NO DOUBT BRINGING SHAME ON THE CHURCH AND DISGRACING THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST.

PETER BY THE INSPIRATION OF THE HOLY GHOST WAS CORRECTING THE PROBLEM. PETER IS NOT SUGGESTING THAT BY SUBMITTING TO HER HUSBAND THAT THE WIFE IS INFERIOR TO HER HUSBAND. IN THE EYES OF GOD WE ARE ALL EQUAL AS FAR AS OUR EXISTENCE IS CONCERNED.

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO THE HOME THERE HAS TO BE A PRESCRIBED ORDER. THERE AS TO BE A CHAIN OF COMMAND OR SOME ONE THAT IS IN CHARGE WHO WILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE TO GOD FOR THE FAMILY. GOD HAS ORDAINED THE MAN TO BE THE HEAD, THE LEADER, AND THE AUTHORITY IN THE HOME.

THIRD I WANT YOU TO NOTICE THAT PETER UNDERSTOOD THAT THERE MAY BE A CHANCE THAT THESE BELIEVING HUSBANDS AND WIVES MAY HAVE A SPOUSE THAT IS NOT SAVED OR A CHRISTIAN.

PETER IS BASICALLY SAYING THAT, " I KNOW THAT SOME OF YOU MAY HAVE A SPOUSE THAT IS AN UNBELIEVER. SO LET ME TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE IN SUCH A WAY THAT YOU CAN KEEP PEACE IN YOUR HOME AN AT THE SAME TIME LEAD YOUR SPOUSE TO CHRIST ".

PETER REALIZED THAT WE SELDOM TALK OR ARGUE PEOPLE INTO THE KINGDOM OF GOD. WE LOVE, PRAY AND INFLUENCE THEM BY HOLY AND RIGHTEOUS LIVING.

THIS ALLOWS THE SPIRIT OF GOD TO MINISTER THROUGH US WHILE AT THE SAME TIME DRAW THEM TO HIMSELF.

THE FORTH THING I WANT YOU TO NOTICE AND UNDERLINE IN YOUR BIBLE IS THE WORD, " LIKEWISE ". YOU WILL FIND THAT WORD MENTIONED TWO TIMES IN THESE SCRIPTURES.

ONCE IN VERSE 1 AND ONCE IN VERSE 7. THE WORD LIKEWISE MEANS, IN THE SAME WAY. IN OTHER WORDS WHAT I HAVE SAID BEFORE APPLIES TO YOU AS WELL. I BELIEVE THAT WHAT GOD SAYS TO THE WIVES AND HUSBANDS CAN ALSO APPLY TO OUR HOMES AS WELL.

THE STORY OF THE THREE LITTLE PIGS:

THREE TYPES OF BUILDING MATERIAL. 1. STRAW 2. WOOD 3. BRICK

I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU 5 BRICKS THAT WE CAN USE TO BUILD STRONG FAMILIES.

I. BRICK #1 BEHAVIOR

1 PETER 3:1-2

AS WE LOOK AT EACH ONE OF THESE BRICKS WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT EACH BRICK IS MADE UP OF CERTAIN INGREDIENTS.

IF ONE OR MORE OF THE INGREDIENTS IS LEFT OUT IT WILL TAKE AWAY FROM THE QUALITY AND STRENGTH OF THE BRICK.

BEHAVIOR HAS TO DO WITH THE WAY WE LIVE OUR LIVES FROM DAY TO DAY. WE MUST BE CONSISTENT IN THE WAY THAT WE LIVE OUR LIVES. SO MANY PEOPLE ARE INCONSISTENT IN THE WAY THEY LIVE FROM ONE DAY TO THE NEXT.

ONE DAY THEY ARE UP THE NEXT DAY THEY ARE DOWN. ONE DAY THEY ARE IN AND THE NEXT DAY THEY ARE OUT. THAT IS THE WAY WE ARE IN OUR HOMES. ONE DAY WE FOLLOW GOD’S PLAN FOR THE FAMILY AND THE NEXT DAY WE DON’T.

I KNOW THAT MANY OF YOU HAVE HEARD THE SAYING: I HAD RATHER SEE A SERMON ANY DAY THAN HEAR ONE.

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. OR I CAN’T HEAR WHAT YOU ARE SAYING BECAUSE YOUR ACTIONS ARE SCREAMING AT ME.

IT’S A WELL KNOWN FACT THAT OUR WALK IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS OUR TALK. WE MUST LIVE WHAT WE PREACH.

THE WORD BEHAVE MEANS TO CONDUCT ONE SELF PROPERLY.

BEHAVIOR MEANS THE PROPER RESPONSE OF A PERSON TO HIS/HER ENVIRONMENT.

GOD EXPECTS US TO CONDUCT OURSELVES IN A MANNER THAT IS GODLY AND IS BECOMING TO HIM. REGARDLESS OF OUR CIRCUMSTANCES OR OUR ENVIRONMENT.

WE ARE TO BEHAVE IN A GODLY MANNER IF OUR SPOUSES TREAT US RIGHT OR NOT. WE ARE TO BEHAVE IN A GODLY WAY IF OUR SPOUSES ARE SAVED OR NOT.

LET’S LOOK BRIEFLY AT THE 3 INGREDIENTS THAT MAKE UP THIS BRICK OF BEHAVIOR.

A. SUBJECTION WHICH MEANS SUBMISSION.

PETER TELLS THE WIVES THAT THEY ARE TO BE IN SUBJECTION OR SUBMISSION TO THEIR OWN HUSBANDS. PETER IS HERE AGAIN CORRECTING A PROBLEM.

THESE WOMEN WERE NOT HONORING OR RESPECTING THE AUTHORITY OF THE HUSBAND IN THE HOME. THEY WERE DISREGARDING HIS AUTHORITY AND LEADERSHIP IN THE HOME. I KNOW SOME WIVES WILL SAY, " THAT’S NOT FAIR.

SOME HUSBANDS WILL SAY, " PRAISE GOD ". LET ME GIVE YOU ANOTHER SCRIPTURE TO BALANCE THIS OUT.

EPHESIANS 5:21 SUBMITTING YOURSELVES ONE TO ANOTHER IN THE FEAR OF GOD.

THIS IS WHAT IS CALLED MUTUAL SUBMISSION IN THE HOME. IF THERE IS A MATTER OF CONFLICT IN THE HOME AND THE HUSBAND HAPPENS TO BE WRONG THEN HE IS TO SUBMIT HIMSELF TO HIS WIFE.

IN ORDER TO KEEP BALANCE IN THE HOME WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT SUBMISSION MEANS.

SUBMISSION MEANS TO YIELD ONESELF TO THE AUTHORITY OR WILL OF ANOTHER.

SUBMISSION IS A CHOICE

SUBMISSION REQUIRES US TO MAKE ADJUSTMENTS TO ACCOMMODATE EACH OTHER. I MUST ADAPT MYSELF TO THE OTHER PERSON.

SUBMISSION REQUIRES US TO BECOME DEPENDENT ON EACH OTHER.

B. PURE LIVING

VERSE 2 WHILE THEY BEHOLD ( OBSERVE ) YOUR CHASTE CONVERSATION COUPLED WITH FEAR.

THE WORD CHASTE MEANS TO BE PURE FROM FAULT. TO BE CLEAN, HOLY, AND FREE FROM SEXUAL SINS. IN OTHER WORDS THE HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE TO BE TRUE TO EACH OTHER.

THEY HAVE SET THEMSELVES APART FOR EACH OTHER. UNFAITHFULNESS IS VERY DESTRUCTIVE AND DAMAGING TO THE HOME.

I BELONG TO MY WIFE AND SHE BELONGS TO ME, THEREFORE I WILL NOT GIVE MYSELF TO ANOTHER. WITH THE HELP OF GOD I HAVE DETERMINED TO REMAIN FAITHFUL TO MY WIFE.

HOW IS FAITHFULNESS TO BE MAINTAINED?

C. THROUGH THE FEAR OF GOD.

WHILE THEY BEHOLD YOUR CHASTE CONVERSATION COUPLED WITH FEAR.

FEAR OF GOD = AWE AND REVERENCE FOR GOD. THE GOD WE SERVE PAID AN AWESOME PRICE FOR OUR SALVATION. I AM NOT MY OWN, I AM GOD’S THEREFORE I WILL HONOR HIM WITH MY LIFE AND BODY.

II. BRICK # 2 APPEARANCE

1 PETER 3:3-4 WHOSE ADORNING LET IT NOT BE THAT OUTWARD ADORNING OD PLAITING THE HAIR, AND OF WEARING OF GOLD, OR OF PUTTING ON OF APPAREL. BUT LET IT BE THE HIDDEN MAN OF THE HEART, IN THAT WHICH IS NOT CORRUPTIBLE, EVEN THE ORNAMENT OF A MEEK AND QUITE SPIRIT, WHICH IS IN THE SIGHT OF GOD OF GREAT PRICE.

PETER IS NOT SUGGESTING THAT IT IS A SIN FOR WOMEN TO WEAR MAKE UP, JEWELRY OR CERTAIN TYPES OF CLOTHING.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG FOR HUSBANDS AND WIVES WANTING TO LOOK NICE FOR EACH OTHER. SOMEONE ONCE SAID, " IF THE HOUSE NEEDS A PAINT JOB, THEN PAINT IT ".

WE SOMETIMES ACTS AS THOUGH IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW WE LOOK FOR EACH OTHER.

I’M MARRIED NOW I CAN JUST FORGET ABOUT MY APPEARANCE. NO, WE NEED TO KEEP OURSELVES LOOKING GOOD FOR OUR SPOUSES. OUR APPEARANCE DOES HAVE A LOT TO DO WITH OUR HOME LIFE.

NOBODY WANTS TO LIVE WITH A RUN DOWN SLOB. SOMEONE THAT DOESN’T TAKE CARE OF THEM SELVES.

III. BRICK # 3 ATTITUDE

WHAT PETER IS SAYING, IS THAT BEAUTY IS MORE THAN THE OUTWARD APPEARANCE. BEAUTY GOES DEEPER THAN THE SKIN, IT GOES MUCH DEEPER.

PETER SAYS IT’S THE HIDDEN MAN OF THE HEART. THIS IS A DESCRIPTION OF ATTITUDE. ADORNED WITH, A MEEK AND QUITE SPIRIT.

LET ME QUICKLY SUMMARIZE WHAT I BELIEVE TO BE A MEEK AND QUITE SPIRIT. A PERSON THAT IS ADORNED WITH A MEEK AND QUITE SPIRIT IS SOMEONE THAT KNOWS WHO THEY ARE, WHAT THEY ARE AND WHERE THEY STAND IN RELATION EVERYONE ELSE IN THE FAMILY.

THEY ARE NOT OVERBEARING NOR DO THEY DEMAND THAT EVERYTHING GO THEIR WAY. MEEKNESS IS NOT WEAKNESS, BUT STRENGTH UNDER CONTROL. A QUITE SPIRIT IS RESTFUL AND IS NOT ARGUMENTATIVE.

THE BIBLE SAYS THIS IS PRECIOUS AND OF GREAT VALUE IN THE SIGHT OF GOD.

IV. BRICK # 4 RESPONSE

1 PETER 3:6-7

THE WORD OBEYED MEANS TO LISTEN ATTENTIVELY OR PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO. CHUCK SWINDOLL SAYS, IT IS THE IDEA OF ATTENDING TO THE NEEDS OF ANOTHER

WE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THE NEEDS OF OUR FAMILY MEMBERS.

LET ME GO A LITTLE DEEPER WITH THIS. WE CAN NOT CONTROL THE ACTIONS, THE ATTITUDES OR THE WORDS OF ANOTHER PERSON.

BUT WE CAN CONTROL HOW WE RESPOND TO THOSE ACTIONS, ATTITUDES AND WORDS. WE HAVE A CHOICE IN HOW WE RESPOND TO THINGS.

V. BRICK # 5 LIVING TOGETHER

1 PETER 3:7 LIKEWISE, YE HUSBANDS, DWELL WITH THE ( INTIMATE OR CLOSE RELATIONSHIP ) ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGE ( KNOW THEM ), GIVING HONOR UNTO THE WIFE ( VALUE AND RESPECT ), AS UNTO TO THE WEAKER VESSEL, AND AS BEING HEIRS TOGETHER OF THE GRACE OF LIFE; THAT YOUR PRAYERS BE NOT HINDERED.

Companionship

A. Many marriages are suffering from a simple lack of togetherness.

Careers have destroyed relationships.

Outside interests have destroyed families.

B. If you want to show your family that you love them, SPEND TIME WITH THEM.

Communication

(The word "knowledge" means understanding.) KNOWLEDGE COMES FROM COMMUNICATION. Communication is more than just talking. It is LOOKING, LISTENING, and LEARNING.

CONSIDERATION. Giving honor

WE ARE NOT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE DIFFERENCES IN OUR LIVES BUT VALUE AND RESPECT THOSE DIFFERENCES. RATHER THAN ALLOWING THESE DIFFERENCES TO TARE OUR HOMES A PART, MAKE THEM WORK FOR THE GOOD OF THE FAMILY.

WE NEED TO HONOR, RESPECT, VALUE AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

CONCLUSION:

PETER CONCLUDES BY STATING THAT IF WE DO THIS OUR PRAYERS WILL NOT BE HINDERED.