He Came To Show Us
Who We Are
I Am Jesus – part eleven
{Note I bought 2 fun house mirrors for this message and had them in the foyer prior to church, for people to look in and laugh at their distorted images. When it came time to preach, I had some guys bring them up front)
13Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. 14But John tried to deter him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?” 15Jesus replied, “Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.” Then John consented.
16As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. 17And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”
1Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. 2After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. 3The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” 4Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
5Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. 6“If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written: “ ‘He will command his angels concerning you,
and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’”
7Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’” 8Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9“All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.” 10Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’” 11Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him. – Matthew 3:13-4:11
Prayer…
NOW – I have been looking forward to the message I am going to share with you this morning for several weeks. It’s the 11th message in our I am Jesus series. AND - it’s the 6th message where we have been looking at the things that Jesus came to do.
UNDERSTAND – 2,000 years ago Jesus (The Son of God, The Word Become Flesh, The Good Shepherd & The King of kings) came to;
• Demonstrate God’s Love
• Seek & Save The Lost
• Replace Rules w/Relationship
• Open our Eyes
• To tell us the truth…
AND – as we will see today… HE –came to show us who we are… THERE – are 5 points in your notes this morning… The first is; .
What We See…
SO – did you take a look at yourself in these mirrors… How did you look? YOU KNOW - I have always thought that these mirrors, were kind of fun…
AND – if you looked in these mirrors, I have some good news for you… “It’s not you – it’s the mirror” it is a distortion of reality… (OKAY – throughout this message, I whenever I say; “It’s not you” - I want you to say, “It’s the mirror” – let’s have a practice run)…
NO YOU – don’t really look that crazy… You’re not that short; you don’t have 2 heads and your arms are not 6 feet long… YOU SEE – these mirrors are curved… AND BASICALLY – when they curve in… you get stretched… when they curved out you get squished… AND – when you have curved in and curved outs… you get squished and stretched.. YEAH - It’s fun to look in these mirrors…
BUT – there is another mirror that is not so fun to look at… LISTEN - I am convinced that most people today have a distorted image of themselves… I am convinced that when most people today look in a mirror, when they look at themselves… they do not see who they really are.
AND – I am also convinced that what they do see… THEY - do not like all that much. I agree with what Brennan Manning who said in the forward of his book, ‘A Glimpse of Jesus’ - that not liking what we see when we look at ourselves… (something that he calls self hatred) is at epidemic proportions in our world…
QUESTION - [Tim, Laurie…] what do you see when you look in the mirror? What do you see when you look at yourself? Chances are that what you see is distorted. (“It’s not you – It’s the mirror)
The next point in your notes is;
What It Causes..
AND – basically what this distorted image of ourselves causes is shame. NOW - in my studies for this message I read an awesome book written by Lewis Smedes called, “Shame & Grace, Healing The Shame We Don’t Deserve.” Checkout what he said about shame.
Shame comes when no one else is looking at you but yourself and what you see is a phony, a coward, a bore, a failure, a dumbbell, a person whose nose is too big and whose legs are too boney, or a mother who is incompetent at mothering and, all in all, a poor dope with little hope of ever being an acceptable human being.
The feeling of shame is about our very selves, not about some bad thing we did or said but about what we are. It tells us that we are unworthy. Totally. It is not as if a few seams in the garment of ourselves need stitching; the whole fabric is frayed. We feel that we are unacceptable. And to feel that is a life-wearing heaviness. Shame-burdened people are the sort who Jesus had in mind when he invited the ‘weary and heavy burdened’ to trade their heaviness for His lightness.
UNDERSTAND – a lot of people when they look in the mirror; when they take a look at who they are… FEEL – shame. FEEL – unworthy. FEEL – unacceptable. AND – they live in fear. FEAR – that they will be rejected… FEAR – that they will be put on the scales, weighed and found wanting…
IN - a chapter called, ‘A Very Heavy Feeling,’ Smedes lists some feelings, that people have expressed to him and that he has felt himself from time-to-time. PERHAPS - you have had some of these same feeling about yourself… (I know I have…)
OKAY – go ahead right now and take a look at yourself… What do you see? HOW – did you feel? OKAY - here’s Smedes list…
• I sometimes feel as if I’m a fake
• I feel if people who admire me really knew me they might have contempt for me
• I feel inadequate; I seldom feel as if I am up to what is expected of me
• When I look inside myself, I seldom feel any joy at what I am
• I feel inferior to the really good people that I know
• I feel as if God must be disgusted at me.
• I feel flawed inside, blemished somehow, dirty sometimes
• I feel as if I just cannot measure up to what I ought to be.
• I feel as if I will never be acceptable.
UNDERSTAND – when we feel any of the feelings that are expressed in this list (or feelings like them) what we are feeling is shame. AND - what we are afraid of is rejection… AND AGAIN - Shame is not about some bad thing we did or said but about what we are. Shame tells us that we are unworthy, unacceptable.
LISTEN – I am convinced that a lot of people in this world (and maybe even in this room) don’t feel that good about themselves… AND LISTEN – no of us feel as good as we should.. YOU KNOW – I think , the immortal comic Charlie Chaplin may have been right; when as a sad old man, he gave a deep sigh and said; ‘The trouble with the world is that we despise ourselves..” Kind of depressing… isn’t it?
YES – when most people look in the mirror of who they are… They don’t like what they see. AND - what they see makes them feel unacceptable and they fear rejection…
BUT - I got GOOD news for you… What you see is not who you really are. UNDERSTAND – it’s not you it’s the mirror… THE NEXT point in your notes is;
Why We See It…
WHY - when we look at the mirror? WHY – when we look at ourselves is the image so often distorted? I MEAN - what kind of things cause us to look squished and stretched when we look at ourselves? THERE - are many… LET - me share just a few.
Secular culture distorts how we see ourselves…
UNDERSTAND - our culture basically tells you that in order to be worthy and acceptable (in order to NOT look squished, stretched and distorted)… YOU - must look good… AND - you must have the goods. Your worthy & acceptable;
• if you’re pretty
• if you can slam dunk a basketball
• if you can hit a 3 pointer
• if you knock the ball out of the park
• if you have a ‘Dr’ after your name
• if you make the final 12 in American idol
• if your record goes platinum
• if you drive an expensive car
• if you make a lot of money
QUESTION – where does this distortion leave the average person? I THINK – we know where at a place where they always feel like they;
• are not good looking enough
• can’t do enough
• don’t have enough
• and haven’t accomplished enough
Too often we base our self-worth on what the world views as valuable. The world thinks that money is a barometer of value, and if we do not have it in great amounts we feel bad about ourselves. Physical beauty has almost become a religion unto itself, and those without it feel no value in a society that judges by the looks on the outside. In this age of technology, IQ is often used to determine who is to be esteemed and who is to be shown the basement.
It is difficult for most of us to measure up. And the more we focus on the world’s standards and values, the more negative we feel about ourselves.
- Steve Arterburn
AGAIN - it’s not you it’s the mirror… UNDERSTAND - one reason you look stretched and squished is because secular culture distorts how you see yourself… AND – so does;
Un-Accepting Parents…
YOU KNOW – parents can be pretty crazy and they can say some pretty crazy things. I’ve been a parent for exactly 21 years today… AND - some of things that I have said as a parent I would never have imagine in my ‘saner’ days that words like that would come out of my mouth
AND LISTEN - saying crazy things as a parent starts early… This week I found a web-site; with Crazy Things that moms and dads say to preschoolers] I MEAN – grown people, educated people say them…
• I know it hurts but I will not kiss your butt
• No honey, her face isn’t melting. Those are called wrinkles
• No, he doesn’t have a baby in his tummy
• Sometimes your breathe stinks to
• Don’t hit your brother while his sleeping
• Take the funnel out of your sisters ear
• Put grandpas teeth back where you found them
• Please get your feet off grandma’s head
• Where are your clothes
• Yes you’d make a beautiful ballerina but boys don’t wear tutus to church
• What if I spit in your soda
• Don’t put the chips back in the bowl after you licked them
• Please don’t chew on your dirty underwear
• The dog’s nose does not need picking
• You can’t pee in just anyone’s yard
• Yes it makes me very happy when you poop
AND – as their kids get older… I think the things parents say to their kids get even crazier… AND – parents often ask questions that they I don’t think they really want an answer to
• Do you want me to give you something to cry for? (yeah that’s be great)
• Close the door, do you think you were born in a barn?
• Do you think I cleaned the house for my health?
• Do you want me to come up there?
• You’re tired, I’ll give you tired
• This is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you
• Do I look that stupid to you?
YES – parents can say some crazy thing, funny things and insane things…
AND….. – they can also say some pretty cruel things, some image distorting things…
• Why can’t you be more like your brother
• Can’t you do anything right
• I wish you were never born
• You always disappoint me…
• You will never amount to anything
• I can’t wait until you grow up and get out of here
• Yeah I’m glad I married your mom but it’s too bad you had to part of the bargain
• I never wanted you in the first place
WHY – do you look squished, stretched and distorted when you look at yourself? Many times it’s because your parents have distorted how you see yourself.. .UNDERSTAND – parents are a major cause of the distortion that we see when we look at ourselves.. AND – basically what parents are saying in this distortion is, “I reject you, I disown you…”
In a chapter called; ‘How Parents Shame Us’ Smedes writes;
A man I know disowned his children. When I learned what he had done, I thought that he had decided not to leave his children any of his money, of which he had more than his share, after he died. But this is not what he really meant. He meant to purge them from his life, make it official that he despised and rejected them.
Disowning a child is the sure way to get a child to feel that he is not worth owning. The tragedy of being disowned is compounded by the fact that very decent people disown their own children. They may not do I totally, and they may not tell anyone about it. They may do it in bits and pieces, with facial expressions, chiding voices and pious rebukes, without ever saying, “I disown you.” However they get the message across to their children as clearly as if they announced it in the newspaper.
NOW – in order to understand what it means to disown a child we need to first understand what it means to own a child. YOU SEE – owning a child has nothing to do with possessing and controlling them… It’s more about a commitment of unconditional love that tells the child that they will never be rejected or despised. AND - owning a child is expressed in 3 ways…
• By Taking Responsibility; for them and their needs
• By Feeling Pride & by eagerly letting the world know, hey this is my kid
• By Finding Joy; in having them in your life
In his book Shame & Grace, Smedes talks about his adopted daughter Cathy. And how she felt disowned by the mother who conceived her, carried her, gave her birth and then gave her up for adoption. YOU SEE – Cathy felt that if she was worth it, her mother would have found a way to keep her… When Cathy was older, she tried to find out about her birth mother… BUT - she was unable to find out anything at all. BECAUSE – her birth mother had never called, never written or asked about what had happen to her baby. “Dad she never asked about me. Didn’t care enough to pick up the phone and make a call, didn’t care where I went and what happened to me…”
Cathy felt disowned and this distorted the image of herself.
LISTEN – our world is full of people who have been abandoned by one or both parents… AND – the fact that their parents didn’t…care enough about them to take responsibility for caring for them distorts the image they have of themselves..
AND – that image is also distorted when parents let their know that they are not proud of them… BUT – rather they are ashamed of them… WHEN – the perform; when they hit a homerun, when they get a good grade… “that’s my son, that’s my daughter…” BUT WHEN – they make mistakes and fail… They are no longer proud but rather they are ashamed and embarrassed… AND – they don’t really want to claim them…as their kids…
AND - parents further distort the image a child has of themselves, by simply showing no joy in their existence..
From the start Sheila and Lambert made it clear to Elizabeth that they took no joy in her existence. She knew early on that she was an unwanted child who her parents did not want to own. Since she knew she was only an unclean piece of freight they had to lug into old age, she determined to live the sort of life that matched a child whose very existence was a shame to her parents.
At 17 Elizabeth rode off into her wilderness on the lambskin seat of a Harley Davidson with a 280 pound cyclist who mastered the skills of making women feel unworthy. She lived with Him for a brutal year or so, long enough to add a smashed nose, 2 abortions, and an off-again, on-again drug habit to her undeserved shame. All the while, her shame convinced her that she deserved no better.
“It’s not you it’s the mirror“
Unaccepting parents make us look stretched, squished and distorted … AND – so does…
Graceless Religion
(ever experience it?)
YOU SEE – graceless religion tells us that we have to live up to certain rules, rituals and practices in order to be worthy and acceptable. Graceless religion creates a false view of God… AND – this false image of God takes shape in our minds… AND – then we begin to project this image on to the true God.
AND – this projection creates a God who is almost impossible to please and who is nearly always disappoint with us.
Religion without grace can tie shame around our souls like a choke chain and never offer relief.
QUESTION…
• Do you feel like God is always disappointed with you?
• Do you feel like you never measure up?
• Do you feel shamed sometimes to be in his presence?
• Do you feel that He is always angry at you and probably doesn’t even like you?
“It’s not you – it’s the mirror”
Another source of your image distortion is;
Guilt
BASICALLY - guilt says, “I did, therefore I am.”
Guilt says one bad act defines who we are…
This makes about as much sense as hammering one nail makes you a carpenter…
UNDERSTAND – some people when they look in the mirror of who they are… ALL – they see is their sin and failure. BUT LISTEN – no matter what you’ve done… And you may have done some pretty bad stuff… you are still MORE than you sin…
“It’s not you – it’s the mirror”
OKAY – here is another biggie…
Compulsive Comparison
UNDERSTAND – countless people in our culture suffer from the disease of compulsive comparisons.. AND – when you have this disease the image you have of yourself is distorted because you are constantly comparing yourself to others. I MEAN;
Every time your friend succeed you feel like a failure.
Everybody’s else’s sun darkens your day.
QUESTION – [Tim, Laurie…] - do you have this disease? Do you have the disease of comparing yourself to other people? UNDERSTAND – when you compare…
• How you look
• What you have
• Where you live
• What you know
• What you’ve accomplished
• What you do
To other people your vision of who you are will be distorted
The first King of Israel, King Saul… Is the textbook example of how compulsive comparison will miss up your life…
QUESTION…. When someone;
• Gets a promotion
• Gets a new boyfriend or girlfriend
• Gets a new house or car
• Looses 25 pounds
• Gets married
Do you feel bad about who you are?
“It’s not you – it’s the mirror”
OKAY THOSE – are some of the things that distort how we see ourselves… NOW - there are others things we could also talk about like; mistreatment by other people (especially those closet to us); unrealistic expectations of who we should be and being overly responsible for the lives of other people)… BUT – I think you get my point… The image we have of ourselves like the image we see in these mirrors is distorted…
AND – here’s the bottom line… these things make us feel a lot like Cinderella felt B.P.C.
NOW – we all know the story of Cinderella. She had a wicked stepmother and some very wicked & ugly step sisters who put the ‘N’ in nasty and the ‘C’ in cruel. These wicked women, made Cinderella a their servant and they constantly put her down… I MEAN – they were so relentless – that they were able to convince Cinderella that she would never be anything more then a hand-maid.
NOW – I don’t know about you but when I looked at Cinderella (even as a child), I couldn’t help but think… “Doesn’t she see how beautiful she is? Can’t she see how different she is from those ugly step-sisters both inside and out? Why doesn’t she just look in the mirror, and see who she really is?”
BUT TRAICALLY – the voices of her step-sisters & step mother were much too loud. THEREFORE – Cinderella believed that she was not good enough, and that she would never be anything more than a servant. AND – she also believed that the only chance she would have to go to the ball was if she had some costume to hide behind, to cover up who she really was. An outfit to put on. (AND - her ‘fairy god-mother’ provides just the costume…)
BUT – the whole time Cinderella was at the ball she was watching the clock. AND when it struck midnight, she ran out of there, as fast as she could for fear of being exposed for the homely house maid she believed that she was.
GUYS – like Cinderella we have an enemy that whispers in our ears and shouts deep in our hearts that we are not worthy… AN ENEMY – who uses many things to distort how we see ourselves… AN ENEMY – who tells us that we are not worthy or acceptable as we are… AN ENENMY – who is more cruel then those step-sisters who shouts in our hearts that all we are and can ever hope to be is a homely hand maiden.
BUT UNDERSTAND – the reason that we feel like that sometimes… is because we have a distorted view of who we are… UNDERSTAND – because of;
• Secular culture
• Unaccepting parents
• Graceless religion
• Guilt
• Compulsive Comparisons and many other things
We look in the mirror and we believe that we are squished and stretched… AND – being squished and stretched makes us feel unworthy and unacceptable. AND – it causes to live in fear. FEAR – of being rejected.
BUT LISTEN – 2,000 years ago Jesus came to remove all those distortions… HE CAME – to show us who we are… He came to tell us…
“It’s not you – it’s the mirror”
AND – the reason that He can is able to do this for us… IS – because as the next point in your notes says; He was
The One Whose Mirror Was Not Distorted
UNDERSTAND – when Jesus looked into the mirror of who he was he did not see a distortion like Cinderella saw and like you & I see… INSTEAD - Jesus saw clearly who He was, every single time he took a look. WHY – is that? WHY – did Jesus see himself so clearly? WHAT – was it that made Jesus so sure of who He was…
NOW - I am convinced that the key to understanding this is found in the passage that I read from Matthew chapter 3 as we began this morning. REMEMBER – Jesus’ baptism and temptation… AND - until just a few weeks ago I had overlooked the powerful teaching and priceless treasure that was placed in God’s word nearly 2,000 years ago to help me to no longer look squished and stretched when I look at myself…
OKAY - Jesus who is without sin stands in line with sinners to baptized. AND - when His turns comes, His cousin John kind of freaks out… YOU SEE – John knows 2 things… He knows who Jesus is… AND – He knows who he is… SO – John says, “Jesus this doesn’t seem right, I shouldn’t be baptizing you… You should be baptizing me…”
AND – Jesus replies, ‘No John you are wrong this is exactly the right thing to do” AND – mark records these words;
10As Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. 11And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” - Mark 1:10,11
ON – Friday morning March the 4th; I woke up kind of early. I wasn’t feeling too good. AND – when I sat down to hang out with God, I picked a book written by Henry Noumen called, “Jesus A Gospel.” It’s a pretty awesome book that looks at the Gospel of Jesus with exerts from Noumen writings and with drawings by Rembrandt. I read a chapter called ‘Baptism & Temptation.’
I very much believe that the core moment of Jesus’ public life was the baptism in the Jordan, when Jesus heard the affirmation, “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” That is the core experience of Jesus. He is reminded in a deep way of who he is.
The temptations in the desert are temptations to move Him away from that spiritual identity. He was tempted to believe He was someone else.
You are the one who can turn stone into bread.
You are the one who can jump from the temple.
You are the one who can make others bow to your power.
Jesus said, “No, No, I am the one loved by God.” I think His whole life is continually claiming that identity in the midst of everything. – Henri Nouwen
WOW – that is so power! “No, No, I am the one loved by God.” I think His whole life is continually claiming that identity in the midst of everything.
[Tim…] – when I read those words a little over 2 weeks ago I was blown away… LISTEN – when the Father ripped open the sky, when the Spirit descended like a dove… AND – when the Father shouted form the sky… , “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” Jesus was given a mirror that if He would continue to look in… would NEVER allow the image of who He really was to ever be distorted… UNDERSTAND….
• When the devil tempted Him,
• When the people rejected Him,
• When His own would not receive Him
• When they wanted to make Him a worldly king
• When they praised Him for His miracles
• When the leaders turn against Him
• When a friend betrayed Him
• And when everyone abandoned Him
Jesus still knew who He was… He was never tempted to be someone else…
“No, No,
I am not the rejected one
I am not a worldly king
I am not the one who people praise when their bellies are full and miracles flow
I am not the one everyone abandons…
NO - I am the one loved by my Father.”
LISTEN – the only thing that Jesus let define who He was, was the love of the Father! That is why when Jesus walked this earth He was all about the Father… He only said what the Father wanted Him to say, only did what the Father wanted Him to do; He constantly hung out with the Father… He was one with the Father…
In a chapter called Jesus a Stranger to self hatred Brennan Manning writes; (page 44)
YES – Jesus was all about the Father… AND – let me tell you this Father fully owned His Son…
• He took responsibility for His needs
• Felt great pride that he was His Son
• And found unbounded joy in His presence.
What did Jesus see? Who He really was…
What did it cause? It caused Jesus to feel worthy and accepted with no fear of rejection
Why did Jesus see it? Because the love of the Father was the mirror in which he saw himself…
OKAY – now for the final point in your notes;
Seeing Ourselves in A Different Mirror
[Tim…] - 2,000 years ago Jesus came to show us who we are… LISTEN – the very moment that Jesus’ sandals hit the dusty streets of this world and He encountered people he held up to them a mirror that was radically different then the one they had been looking at… AND – it was such a refreshing look compared to the distorted mirrors of their past… I MEAN – for the first time the images that they saw were not, squished, stretched or distorted…
TRY – to imagine what it was like the very first time… they looked in His mirror and saw who they really were…
“ I am not a failure; I am not just someone who men use and throw away when they are done… I am a person of worth who God loves… I am someone that He spoke to, I am the first person He ever told that He was the Messiah… (the woman at the well in John 4)
“I am not stuck, I am not trap in this system that I helped to create and no longer even believe in, I am not some legalistic Pharisee who God wants to throw away… No, I am some one who He invites to be born again into His Kingdom.” (Nicodemus John Chapter 3)
I am not alone. I am not unacceptable. I do not have to go through living the way I have been living and feeling the way I have been feeling… Jesus says he wants to be my friend. (Zacchaeus Lk 19)
I am not just a criminal, I am not just a useless human being, a thief only worthy of death… No, I am one he invites to go with Him to paradise… The thief on the cross
To those and others, to lepers, sinners, demon possessed, tax collectors sinners and prostitutes Jesus saw them who they really were…. AND – the good news is, the great news is that Jesus (just as invited them) He invites us to looked into the same mirror that He himself looked into as he walked this earth…
God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never really die. – John 3:16
the Father himself loves you dearly because you love me and believe that I came from God. John 16:27
UNDERSTAND – today March 21st 2005, The Father is once again ripping open the heavens… AND – He is saying do not let your failures or even your successes define who you are. YES – God cries out today…
• Your are my child
• The One I love
• The One I adopted into my family
• The one I chose before the foundations of the earth were even laid
• You are the one who though you have flaws and failures are still is worthy of my grace.
• Worthy even of the death of the Son that I love…
GUYS – we need to look in a different mirror… The mirror of our Father’s love and acceptance.
AND LISTEN – to do that, like Jesus, we have to be all about the father… we have to be consumed with being with the father, 100% dependant on Him.
Get it?
As I wrap up I want to read a prayer that Ladonna sent to me, she wrote it it is so awesome!
A prayer for sight:
Lord, why are there so many opinions out there
about who we are , about what we could be?
The world often tells me I’m plain, clumsy, untalented.
Jesus tells me I’m your special creation.
The law says I’m a sinner with no hope.
Jesus says I’m forgiven if I draw near.
Some religions say I can be my own god, totally enlightened.
Jesus offers a clean heart as a child of the king.
I sometimes feel I’m small and insignificant.
Jesus feels I’m worth dying for and eternally loved.
When I look in the mirror, what SHOULD I see?
It’s a matter of whose opinion I choose to believe.
Lord, I believe you, please help me to fully see,
myself the way you see me and all you’d love me to be!
And please help Steve to fully see Sunday’s message completed.
A good night’s rest, and the joy of serving you when he speaks.
Amen.
YES – once again… at this very moment the father is ripping open the sky and inviting you to see yourself through His love!
