Leaving Without Receiving
Scripture Reference: Genesis 32:24-26 (KJV)
Genesis 32:24 And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. 25 And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob’s thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him. 26 And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.
What are we willing to do that we may receive a blessing from God? Is the real reason that so many people are disappointed with the church today because we are leaving without receiving.
I received a story (supposedly true) over the internet the other day and I would like to share it with you.
No Place for Me
By John W. Fountain
Sunday morning arrived, like so many before, with a mix of sunlight and
chirping birds outside my bedroom window and a warm greeting from my tiny
son, lying beside my wife and me. My wife rose quickly, announcing her plan
to jump in the shower and get ready for Sunday school at the Baptist church,
not far from our house in suburban Chicago, that she and our two children
attend.
As for me, in what has become my ritual nowadays, I turned over and pulled
the covers up around my head. Soon I overheard my 9-year-old daughter’s
familiar question: "Mommy, is Daddy going to church with us?"
"No-o-o-o," my wife replied. After months of my failure to accompany them,
she has abandoned the excuse that "Daddy has a lot of work to do."
Sunday mornings used to mean something special to me. But I now face them
with dread, with a bittersweet sorrow that tugs at my heart and a
headache-inducing tension that makes me reach for the Advil. I am torn
between my desire to play hooky from church and my Pentecostal
indoctrination that Sunday is the Lord’s day, a day of worship when real men
are supposed to lead their families into the house of God.
Once, that’s what I did. I am the grandson of a pastor and am myself a
licensed minister. I love God and I love the church. I know church-speak and
feel as comfortable shouting hallelujahs and amens and lifting my hands in
the sanctuary as I do putting on my socks. I have danced in the spirit,
spoken in tongues, and proclaimed Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior. I once
arrived faithfully at the door of every prayer meeting and went to nearly
every Bible study and month-long revival. I attended umpteen services, even
the midnight musicals and my church’s annual national meetings, like the one
held two weeks ago in Kansas City.
Yet I now feel disconnected. I am disconnected. Not necessarily from God,
but from the church.
What happened? Probably the same thing that has happened to thousands, if
not tens of thousands, of African American men who now file into coffee
shops or bowling alleys or baseball stadiums on Sundays instead of heading
to church, or who lose themselves in the haze of mowing the lawn or waxing
their cars. Somewhere along the way, for us, for me, the church -- the
collective of black churches of the Christian faith, regardless of
denomination -- lost its meaning, its relevance. It seems to have no
discernible message for what ails the 21st-century black male soul.
While there are still many black men who do go to church, any pastor will
admit that there are far more who don’t. Jawanza Kunjufu, a Chicago educator
and author of "Adam! Where are You?: Why Most Black Men Don’t Go to Church,"
contends that 75 percent of the black church is female. The church’s finger
seems farthest from the pulse of those black men who seem to be most lost
and drifting in a destructive sea of fatalism and pathology, with no
immediate sign of the shore or of search and rescue crews. Without the
church, most of those men are doomed. But it seems clear to me that the
church does not -- will not -- seek us black men out, or perhaps even mourn
our disappearance from the pews.
Instead, it seems to have turned inward. It seems to exist for the
perpetuation of itself -- for the erecting of grandiose temples of brick and
mortar and for the care of pastors and the salaried administrative staff.
Not long ago, a preacher friend confided: "The black church is in a struggle
for its collective soul -- to find itself in an age when it is consumed by
the God of materialism."
This preoccupation with the material world is pervasive, and has bred a
culture that has left a trail of blood and tears in black neighborhoods
across the country with little collective outcry from the church. Still,
it’s one thing for the world to be ensnared by the trappings of materialism
-- but the church?
I am incensed by Mercedes-buying preachers who live in suburban meadows far
from the inner-city ghettos they pastor, where they bid parishioners to
sacrifice in the name of God. I am angered by the preacher I know, and his
wife and co-pastor, who exacted a per diem and drove luxury vehicles,
theirmodest salariesboosted by tithes and offerings from poor folks in a
struggling congregation of families, a number of them headed by single
women. This at a time when the church didn’t own a single chair and was
renting a building to hold worship services.
I wonder why, despite billions of dollars taken from collection plates --
much of it from the poor -- in my own denomination, I see few homes for the
elderly, few recreation centers, little to no church-financed housing
development and few viable church-operated businesses that might employ
members or generate some tangible measure of return on years of investment.
I scratch my head at the multimillion-dollar edifice a local church recently
erected and wonder if that is the most responsible stewardship for a church
in a community filled with poor families.
I have come to see the countless annual meetings and church assemblies,
camouflaged as worship services, as little more than fundraisers and
quasi-fashion shows with a dose of spirituality. I am disheartened by the
territorialism of churches, vying for control and membership, as a deacon at
a Baptist church said to me recently, in much the same way as gangs, rather
than seeing themselves as communal partners in a vineyard with one Lord and
a single purpose.
But even in an age of preacher as celebrity, it is not the evolution of a
Bling Bling Gospel that most disheartens me. It is the loss of the church’s
heart and soul: the mission to seek and to save lost souls through the power
of the Gospel and a risen savior. As the homicide toll in black
neighborhoods has swelled, I’ve wondered why churches or pastors have seldom
taken a stand or ventured beyond the doors of their sanctuaries to bring
healing and hope to the community -- whether to stem the tide of violence
and drugs, or to help cure poverty and homelessness or any number of issues
that envelop ailing black communities.
Once, after a service at my grandfather’s church in a small western suburb
of Chicago, I mentioned to a visiting pastor that there was a drug and gang
war going on in his community. "I don’t know nothing ’bout that," he
responded. I wondered why not. How could he not know about something that
affected a community in which he was a "shepherd"?
When I returned to Chicago nearly five years ago, after living in Northern
Virginia, where I worked as a reporter at The Post, I was eager to assist in
the ministry at my grandfather’s church. Within a few months, however, it
became apparent to me that there was little serious interest among the
leadership in connecting to the local community -- aside from the idea that
they might potentially fill the empty pews. And I decided to leave, though
not without first having many conversations with my grandfather about the
implosion of church ministry.
And further contributing to my disappearing act is that, after being put
down and put upon in a society that relegates black men largely to
second-class status, the last place I want to feel that way is at church.
And yet, in the church, where I have at times in my life felt the most
uplifted, I have at other times felt greatly diminished, most often by
insecure leaders. If such leaders feel threatened by your ability to speak
or preach or teach better than they, or by the fact that you think
differently from them, or by the fact that you possess some other social
badge they do not-- like a college education -- then they perceive you as
stealing a little of their sheen in the public’s eyes. And you become
subject to the same kind of shunning and subtle disconnection that I have
seen and known in the professional world.
By the summer of 2002, there had been a myriad hurts and disappointments to
accompany my disillusionment. When the then-pastor of my Chicago area
mega-church responded to my inquiry about not being able to reach him for
weeks, I was already bending in the wind.
"Do you have a cell phone?" he asked during a follow-up telephone
conversation to a letter I had sent him.
"Yes," I answered.
"Then let me ask you something, John," he continued. "If you had a problem
with your cell phone and you called SBC, would you expect to reach the CEO?"
His words blew me away.
Given the state of black men in America, given the number in prison or jail
or headed that way; given the thousands of us who find our way to early
graves and the black men on the other side of the guns who send us there;
given the number of us who seek solace in a bottle of liquor or in illegal
drugs; given the number who silently cry ourselves to sleep at night, it
seems that we would make for a plentiful harvest for a church really seeking
souls.
I suspect, however, that as long as our wives, our children and our money
flow through the church’s doors; as long as there are still a few bodies to
fill the seats; as long as the church can claim a semblance of relevance to
the community; as long as some of us on the outside loom as potential
critics of the direction, heart and stewardship of those black men charged
with leading the church, very few are likely to ever come looking for us.
I could be wrong. My criticism might be too harsh. But it is no harsher
than my pain.
And so I have taken some solace in the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.,
who, more than 40 years ago in his "Letter From a Birmingham Jail," wrote
that the church was in danger of being "dismissed as an irrelevant social
club." "In deep disappointment I have wept over the laxity of the church,"
he lamented. "But be assured that my tears have been tears of love. There
can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love. Yes, I love the
church."
So do I.
And come Sunday mornings, especially on Sunday mornings, I miss the rev of
the organ. I miss the spiritual song drifting through the sanctuary. I miss
the sight of the gray-haired church mothers in their Sunday regalia and
their warm embrace after service. I miss the sound of a spirit-filled choir
whose song can be a salve to a hurting soul. I miss the beauty of worship,
of lifting my hands in the awesome wonder of fellowship with my sisters and
brothers in Christ gathered in the house of God with my family.
"Imani, have you said bye to Daddy?" my wife called to our daughter.
"I already did," she answered.
Actually, we hadn’t said goodbye. A few minutes earlier, I had called her
upstairs and given her a dollar for Sunday offering and hugged her tight,
unable to address her question about why Daddy doesn’t go to church anymore.
Perhaps I will explain one day. Or perhaps I won’t have to.
When I first read this story I thought to myself “Wow is this what the church is coming to?”
But after coming to my senses and realizing that God has not gained or lost any power he still has all power I quickly realized that it was this man’s hastiness of leaving without receiving that got him in this situation.
What are willing to do to get a blessing from the Lord?
Jacob was willing to wrestle all night long
Jacob had come to a point where he had faced so many serious issues that he knew that it was a time for a change
1. Convinced his brother to sell him his birthright for bread and
pottage of lentiles. (Genesis 25:31-33)
Birthright - (1.) This word denotes the special privileges and advantages belonging to the first-born son among the Jews. He became the priest of the family. Thus Reuben was the first-born of the patriarchs, and so the priesthood of the tribes belonged to him. That honour was, however, transferred by God from Reuben to Levi (Num. 3:12, 13; 8:18).
(2.) The first-born son had allotted to him also a double portion of the paternal inheritance (Deut. 21:15-17). Reuben was, because of his undutiful conduct, deprived of his birth-right (Gen. 49:4; 1 Chr. 5:1). Esau transferred his birth-right to Jacob (Gen. 25:33).
(3.) The first-born inherited the judicial authority of his father, whatever it might be (2 Chr. 21:3). By divine appointment, however, David excluded Adonijah in favour of Solomon.
(4.) The Jews attached a sacred importance to the rank of "first-born" and "first-begotten" as applied to the Messiah (Rom. 8:29; Col. 1:18; Heb. 1:4-6). As first-born he has an inheritance superior to his brethren, and is the alone true priest.
God had promised his mother that the older brother would serve the younger. (Genesis 25:23)
2. Tricked his dad while his dad was on his dying bed.
Pretended to be Esau by wearing goat skins to get Esau’s
birthright (Genesis 27:27)
3. Esau threatened to kill his brother Jacob because of what he had
done by stealing his birthright (Genesis 27:41)
4. Lied to Rachel his future wife saying that he was her uncle
when he first met her. (Genesis 29:12)
5. Jacob was tricked by his uncle Laban into marrying Leah his
older daughter when he had worked seven years to earn the
hand of his younger daughter Rachel in marriage
(Genesis 29:25)
Jacob’s son’s
1. Reuben - Leah was his mother (Genesis 29:32)
2. Simeon - Leah’s second son (Genesis 29:33)
3. Levi - Leah’s third son (Genesis 29:34)
4. Judah - Leah’s fourth son (Genesis 29:35)
5. Dan - Bilhah’s (Rachel’s handmaid) first son (Genesis 30:6)
6. Nephtali - Bilhah’s second son (Genesis 30:8)
7. Gad - Zilpah’s (Leah’s handmaid) first son
8. Asher - Zilpah’s second son
9. Issachar - Leah’s fifth son
10. Zebulon - Leah’s sixth son / Dinah - Leah’s seventh child
11. Joseph - Rachel’s first son
6. Jacob tricked his Father-in-law out of livestock by causing them
to be ringstreaked so that he could take the stronger
(Genesis 30:40-42)
7. Although he was not completely lying he was not telling his
wives the whole truth about he gained his possessions.
(Genesis 31:5).
He didn’t mention his “cattle scheme”.
99.9% truth plus .1% non-truth equals 100% lie.
8. Jacob had come to a point where he had to “face the fire”. No
deceit no quick wits no way out.
He had to face his brother who had promised him earlier that he
would kill Jacob for stealing his birthright.
This had to be a serious time for Jacob.
He attempted to soften the meeting between the two of them by offering a great gift.
Jacob was between a rock and a hard place.
(Rock) He couldn’t go back because his father-in-law was there and if he had found out about the cattle scheme he may have surely killed him.
(Hard place) He couldn’t go forward because his brother had already promised to kill him the next time that he saw him.
Jacob reminded God of the promise of his blessings (Genesis 32:12)
Jacob had to have a now or never blessing from the Lord
Some of us are in position just as Jacob was
It’s now or never
What are we willing to do to get that blessing
Jacob was willing to wrestle with an angel all night long
What are we willing to do
Are we willing to even go to God in full belief that he can
Are we willing to even go to God in half belief that he can
Are we willing to stand before God and declare that we will not leave until we get a blessing
We may never see a dollar from our prayer
We may never get any healing from our petitions
We may never be able to get along with our adversaries
But are we willing to stand before God and prepared to stay until he assures us that He is with us
Win. Lose, Draw, Live or Die we should just want God to be with us and that is all of the blessing that we will ever need
Conclusion
This man (angel) had not done anything to Jacob. He wasn’t the person that Jacob was even worried about.
Jacob’s real potential fight for his life was not expected to come about until he met his brother
However while he was preparing for the fight of and for his life he was willing to wrestle all night long
Let’s look at a championship boxer
How much sense would it make if a night before his biggest fight he went to a bar room and started a brawl; him against everybody in the bar.
What if the fight lasted all night long.
This is no way for a championship fighter to prepare for such a fight
Yet Jacob had the realization that he was either going to be blessed by God or killed by him but he was not leaving without receiving.
What are we willing to do in order to receive a blessing from God in our lives right now.
Be careful before you answer this question because believe me God is listening and he just might hold you to what you promise right now.
Let’s Pray
Lord God we stand before you now as humble as we know how giving thanks unto your name. Father we are going to be more careful in handling the things that you have blessed us with because we must first always recalculate the value of the little blessings that you have placed in our lives. The devil is all around us busy seeking who he may desire so we ask God that you keep your hedge of protection around us that we may use it to help us fight the battle that Satan has forged against us. We love you and need you and we realize that all good things come from so we ask Lord God that you continue to choose us as we continue to choose you. Amen
Thank You. May God continue to bless you and keep you. Amen
Your Friend
Minister Juan D. Lane
