OPEN: Before he died, comedian John Ritter starred in a fairly successful TV sitcom. Does anybody remember the name of that show? (8 Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter).
Now, I never watched that show, so I don’t know if they ever shared what those “8 simple rules” actually were. However, years ago I received an e-mail that listed another father’s rules for dating his daughter. I was so impressed with the list, that I copied it into my files and I believe that when my own daughter gets to the age when we allow her to date (somewhere around the age of 25 or so), I will print it out to share with whatever boy dares (I mean, “wants”) to go out with her:
8 SIMPLE RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER @ 1998 W. Bruce Cameron http://www.wbrucecameron.com/”
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose a compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not come off at some time during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”
Rule Five: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Six: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Seven: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot/bellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Eight: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
APPLY: In the heart of every parent lies the desire to protect their little girl/ little boy. Good fathers/mothers make sure that everyone understands: No one messes with their children.
And they will do everything in their power to make sure that kids have a successful future.
They’ll often make sure our kids are:
1. Well fed
2. Well educated
3. Get a good night’s sleep
4. Make sure they wear seat belts
5. And see the Doctor/ Dentist/ etc. on a regular basis
But – believe it or not – our text today tells us one of the most important protections we can offer our children. In fact, if you only followed this ONE simple rule it would accomplish more for your children than anything else you could ever do.
Within this very sad tale of Solomon’s failure to obey God is a key to how we protect our kids – not only while they live with us but even until the very day they die
I. But before I get to that… let’s look at Solomon
The Bible tells us that Solomon was blessed by God.
Solomon was allowed to establish Israel’s borders, making it the largest and most peaceful nation it ever had been and has ever been since.
He accumulated wealth beyond any other King in Israel’s history. I Kings 10:14 tells us that he received tribute of 25 tons of gold every year from the nations around about.
In addition to that, he was honored in ways that his father David never was.
· God spoke directly to him… not thru a prophet as He had w/ David
· AND God permitted Solomon to build the Temple in Jerusalem something David deeply had desired to do but was not allowed because of the wars he had fought.
AND OF COURSE, Solomon was one of the wisest men who ever lived. We’re told that he wrote the book of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes.
1 Kings 4:32-34 declares that Solomon “spoke three thousand proverbs and his songs numbered a thousand and five. He described plant life, from the cedar of Lebanon to the hyssop that grows out of walls. He also taught about animals and birds, reptiles and fish. Men of all nations came to listen to Solomon’s wisdom, sent by all the kings of the world, who had heard of his wisdom.”
So, the question naturally comes to our minds: How could anyone who was so smart be so dumb? How could a man who was so blessed by God end up turning his back on his God???
Why would this man who had enjoyed such a close relationship with God end up following “Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molech the detestable god of the Ammonites.” (1 Kings 11:5) Building “a high place for Chemosh the detestable god of Moab, and for Molech the detestable god of the Ammonites.” (1 Kings 11:7) And burning “incense and (offering) sacrifices to their gods.” (1 Kings 11:8)
Why would Solomon do something so foolish???
Well… TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT I Kings 11:9: “The LORD became angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice.”
His heart had turned away from God
II. What had caused Solomon’s heart to turn away?
1st - He had developed a kind of arrogance
Look again at verses 1 & 2: “King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter— Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the LORD had told the Israelites, ‘You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.’ Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love.” (1 Kings 11:1-2)
If God had commanded his people not to marry women from these nations why on earth would Solomon marry them? God had warned His people that if they married these women their foreign wives would turn their hearts to worship other gods. So why would Solomon marry them?
(pause…) Because he could. He was the King… who was going to stop him?
AND BESIDES… HE was too strong to be brought down by their influence. He was too deep in his faith to be drawn away by their paganism.
Solomon was arrogant enough to believe that the commands of God applied only to other people. Not him. You’ll listen to boys and girls being told that they shouldn’t marry non-Christians… but they’ll do it anyway. They’ll reason: “I know God’s Word tells me I shouldn’t, but I believe he’ll change for me.” They reason that their faith is too strong to be watered down. Their love for God is too profound to be damaged. And sometimes they might succeed. But most of the time they end up having the man (woman) of their dreams turn their hearts away from Jesus.
That’s arrogance. The belief that God’s rules apply to “someone else” – not them. That’s what happened to Solomon.
This leads into the 2nd (and more basic) reason Solomon’s heart turned from God
2ndly – Solomon spent his time with the wrong people
God said – don’t hang out with these people – they’ll ruin your faith; they’ll undermine your love for God; they’ll make you doubt God’s faithfulness.
Now David (Solomon’s father) had written:
“Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.” (Psalms 1:1-3)
There’s certain people you don’t want to hang out with.
If you want to have the full blessings of God in your life
· You don’t want to walk around with wicked people
· You don’t want to stand around with people who enjoy and rejoice in sinning
· You don’t want to sit down with people who would mock and your God/ faith
You hang out with the wrong people and:
Ø you begin to pick up their bad habits
Ø you begin to use their terminology
Ø you begin to look at your family and job the same way they do
Ø AND MOST IMPORTANT – you begin to view God like they do.
ILLUS: One of the most peculiar things I’ve noticed about people who are in jail is that they begin taking advise about the legal system from their fellow inmates.
They’ll have relatives on the outside who will tell them what they need to do to get out; and their relatives will tell them what their lawyer is going to do; and there may even be a friendly judge who will cut them a break.
BUT THEN one of their cell mates will scoff at all that advice. They’ll tell the young man what THEY WOULD DO. They describe how poor the lawyer is that his parents have gotten him. They’ll tell the young man that the judge is a hanging judge and he doesn’t stand a chance in front of him.
Who do think the young man listens to? Does he listen to this relatives… or to the other inmate? That’s right! He listens to his cell mate. I heard one inmate describe why he’d taken such bad advice and he replied: “Well, the guy had been in here for a long time and I thought he’d know”
Excuse me…
If this guy was so smart, what’s he doing in jail??? If he’s so clever and understands legal system so well, why is he still behind bars???
You see: If you hang around with the wrong people long enough… you begin to think they really know what they’re talking about.
And that’s not just true of people in jail. You don’t have to be in prison to get bad advice. You can get it down at the factory or office. You can get it from your next door neighbor. You can get it from Uncle Harry or Aunt June.
But you’ll never get bad advice from God.
Unfortunately, Solomon wasn’t wise enough to realize that.
III. And so God told Solomon – because you have turned your back on me “… I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your subordinates.” 1 Kings 11:11
This kingdom was supposed to go Solomon’s son Rehoboam. That was his right of succession. But Solomon robbed his son of a great inheritance, because he turned his back on God.
(pause…) Nevertheless, says God
Nevertheless???
Yes… “nevertheless (says God) for the sake of David your father, I will not do it during your lifetime. I will tear it out of the hand of your son. Yet I will not tear the whole kingdom from him, but will give him one tribe for the sake of David my servant and for the sake of Jerusalem, which I have chosen."1 Kings 11:12-13
Solomon had sinned
Solomon had deliberately disobeyed God
Solomon had turned his back on his God…
And yet… God withheld his hand of punishment during Solomon’s lifetime. And even Solomon’s son Rehoboam (who would lose over half of his kingdom because of Solomon’s sin) would not lose everything.
How come? Why wasn’t the entire kingdom ripped away from Solomon and his family?
(Because of David)
One of the most overlooked blessings in Scripture is the blessing of the UMBRELLA EFFECT OF FAITH
In Exodus 20 (the Ten Commandments) God gives this warning/ promises this blessing:
“You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.” (Exodus 20:5-6)
Most often, people focus only on the CURSE in that 3rd commandment: “God will punish the children for the sin of the fathers to the 3rd & 4th generations of those who hate me (those who turn their back on God as Solomon did)
HOWEVER…what this 3rd Commandment assures us of is: that curse can be short circuited. Men and women who have lived lives that have angered God can change the course of their children’s history simply by turning their hearts over to God.
We’re told that God “desires to show love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments”. People who show love to God receive the blessing of God’s love to their children and their children’s children.
David understood this. That’s why he wrote in Psalm 103:
“But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children— with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.” (Psalms 103:17-18)
In other words, when we fear God
.. when we keep His commands
… when we obey His precepts
We create an umbrella of protection over children that will bless them until the day they die!
David had a personal relationship with God. He loved God. Feared God. And built His Life around God.
Now… had David ever stumbled in his faith? Had David ever sinned? Yes, he did. He committed adultery. But unlike Solomon, David repented and changed his life.
He even wrote Psalm 51 to publicly repent
Psalms 51:1 “… Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin…. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me…. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me…. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you.” (Psalm 51:1-2,10, 12-13)
As far as David was concerned there was no other relationship as critical as his relationship with God. And once he realized he had jeopardized that relationship, he struggled to put God back in his life.
By contrast, Scripture tells us that Solomon’s heart: “… was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been.” (1 Kings 11:4)
David’s relationship with God protected his son and his grandson… EVEN WHEN Solomon made a terrible and disastrous decision.
CLOSE: So the sermon this morning is intended to be an encouragement to those of you who take your relationship with God seriously. When you’ve focused your life on God, you have created an inheritance of protection for your children and your grandchildren. You have placed a umbrella of your faith as a protection over their lives. They may make foolish decisions and pay a terrible price if they allow themselves to disobey God. But your faith will still shelter them from the worst effects of their foolishness.
And this sermon is also meant as a challenge to those who haven’t realized the importance of your relationship with God. You can give no greater inheritance to your offspring than the inheritance of a Godly father or mother.
OTHER SERMONS IN THIS SERIES
Building a LOVE foundation - 1 Peter 4:7-4:11
One Simple Rule For Protecting Your Family - 1 Kings 11:1-11:13
Committing Family - Deuteronomy 6:4-6:13
Thanking Your Way to a Strong Family - Colossians 3:12-3:17
