“Selfish and loving it!”
On the Lighter side of life:
See funny power point pictures.
Thesis: We will have one of two mindsets in life either we will be selfish and loving it or we will be servants and love it. Which mindset best describes yours?
Introduction:
I titled my sermon today selfish and loving it! If I where to pick an attitude, or a mind set that describes why we have the problems we do in the church today, in the family unit, in society and even in marriage it would be the subject of selfishness. This preoccupation with self today has spun a whirlwind of problems in all kinds of relationships and organizations.
Reference the multimedia clip from the church in Bloomington that you visited with Tiffany. How they described the self-centered mindset and then showed video documentation of it.
A while back I was in store getting some groceries as I observed a mother battling with her child. He was screaming at the top of his lungs and lying on the floor kicking and lashing out at his mother. The mother was really embarrassed by the child’s behavior and she seemed over whelmed and shocked by this little toddlers temper tantrum. You may be thinking, what led up to this toddlers emotional out burst? Was he abused, neglected, felt unloved by his mother? No, none of the above! I had observed this family prior in the store and this little boy seemed normal and even cute. He was polite and behaving him self in the store as I passed by them several times shopping. But as we where standing in line this sweet little blond haired boy who had seemed to be a mom’s perfect child had decided he wanted a candy bar. She looked at the cute little boy and said the horrible word, “No!” But before the o was all the way out of her mouth the little cute boy transformed into the Devil from Hell. His whole countenance changed from cute and lovable to a raging lunatic who caused many to look on in horror. I think I heard one other person mumble, “I am glad he is not my son!” So what happened to the all American cute little picture child? He unleashed his self-centered – selfish behavior in an attempt to get what he wanted. The tantrum lasted less than 3 minutes and I was rooting inside for the mother saying, “Don’t give in!” “Be tough!” But my heart sank as she finally reached up and handed him the candy bar! I must admit I wanted to go over there and take the candy bar away from the devil from hell but I could not. Amazingly his whole demeanor changed back to little boy blue. His mom turned back around in line and I saw this little monster crack a smile behind his mothers back. When he turned his little head my way we locked eyes and I glared at him and shook my head. And you know what he did he stuck his tongue out at me! In a sense he said in his selfish little mind “I got what I wanted and I love it!” Now this incident happened years ago some of the my memory is blurred, but I do remember thinking, “He just learned how to be selfish and how to get what he wants in life!” In a sense in that moment which I believe was not the first time this had happened she had helped to create another self-centered monster. The fact is if this mother continued to raise her child this way then he would grow up and become another self-centered adult.
How many of us have experienced scenarios like this in stores? I suspect most of us have seen it or been the parent going through this type of struggle.
Many professional people say that kids will out grow this self-centered attitude about life as they get older. But the truth is many do not. I do not believe that selfishness disappears with age it just changes form and expression as an adult. Yes adults do not throw themselves on the floor and have temper tantrums.
Instead we throw temper tantrums with our mouths, and our actions. We do it to others who will not give us what we want when we want it! I see people lash out at waitresses, fast food workers and the like when they have had to wait to long for their food. I see people cutting other people off on the highway weaving in and out of traffic to get further ahead in line. I have come to think of this as cutting in line! I see people who are always first in line for buffets and pot lucks. I see people who refuse to help others out because their life is already too busy with their self-centered interests and wants. I see marriages that are in shambles because neither one wants to die to themselves. They instead want the other person to do everything their way. So if it is not their way then it is the highway. I hear of employees who steal from their employers because they feel that the employer owes them something. I see parents who would rather spend all their time doing their hobbies than spend time with their kids or spouse. I see parents who spend inordinate amounts of money on themselves and neglect to support their own children or spouse. I see other parents who give their kids everything they want and think this is good for them. I see dead beat dads who refuse to pay child support for their own children. I see people who get mad at others because they do not get what they expect from them. I see selfishness manifested by moms and dads who let their kids run wild and disturb others in public. I have observed it at school gatherings, community events, and even at church events. I see selfishness rise up its head when it comes time to give to God in the offering. I see selfishness surface when no one cares about some one who is need. I see selfishness raise its ugly head when people complain about the service. The sermon is too long, to short, to harsh, too meek and I don’t like the music because it’s too fast or too slow. I could go on but I think you are getting my point. The black plague of selfishness is running rampant in society and in church.
So maybe we aren’t entirely free from that childish selfishness which plagued us as children. But instead it’s still there, not as obvious but still being manifested in other selfish behaviors and mindsets. We have refined our selfish antics to be more masked and adult like – but it is still selfishness!
Quote: “Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” Oscar Wilde
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 - 1900)
Scripture has a lot to say about this earthly, worldly, fleshly mindset and it is never seen as a divine virtue but as a sinful mindset.
Let’s look at just few references to self-centeredness found in the God’s Word.
Scripture Texts:
Romans 15:1-3:
1We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. 2Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.”
1 Corinthians 10:24:
24Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.
Philippians 2:4:
4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Galatians 6:2-9:
2Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load.
6Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with his instructor.
7Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
The Bible frowns on selfish behavior and it repeatedly tells us to root it out of our lives. This type of lifestyle, mindset, or attitude is not from heaven but originates from the world’s value system. Today self is elevated and servanthood is deflated by our society and by some in the church.
T.S. - So today let’s evaluate ourselves today and see if we have the flawed character traits of a selfish, self-centered individual. Please note: We must be honest with ourselves today if we ever want to become mature in our spiritual lives (Galatians 6:4).
1. This person’s mindset circles around him or her self.
a. This person is always drawing attention to what they want or desire in life.
i. They have no desire to help out others or even have empathy for others.
ii. Life is about “Number One 1” which is themselves.
b. The shadow of self is large an illuminating over their life.
i. Their conversation is filled with these words: I, me, mine, and myself.
ii. Their focus is: self-love, self-indulgence, self-worship, self-interest; egotism, egoism and the list could go on.
iii. Their desire is for comfort, convenience, and their enjoyment in life.
c. The Bible shares a story about a selfish man named Nabal.
i. 1 Samuel 25:1-11:1Now Samuel died, and all Israel assembled and mourned for him; and they buried him at his home in Ramah. Then David moved down into the Desert of Maon. 2A certain man in Maon, who had property there at Carmel, was very wealthy. He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he was shearing in Carmel. 3His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband, a Calebite, was surly and mean in his dealings. 4While David was in the desert, he heard that Nabal was shearing sheep. 5So he sent ten young men and said to them, “Go up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name. 6Say to him: ‘Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours! 7“‘Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing. 8Ask your own servants and they will tell you. Therefore be favorable toward my young men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them.’” 9When David’s men arrived, they gave Nabal this message in David’s name. Then they waited.10Nabal answered David’s servants, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. 11Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?”
1. Notice scripture said he was a Calebite – Who was Caleb?
a. This man’s clan name became known as “dog”.
i. Caleb the Great - Great grand father of this man was one of the spies who brought back a positive report on the land to Moses in Numbers 13:6.
1. This man was a man of faith and he trusted the Lord to provide for them but some how over time his ancestors became known as dogs.
a. This term is not a nice reference by the way!
2. When David was in need he sent some of his mighty men to Nabal (His name means fool) for help with food but this selfish – obstinate man refused to help them.
3. Notice in verse 17 it said, “He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.”
a. Self-centered selfish people are wicked and no one can even talk to them because they think they know everything!
4. This man was so absorbed in himself that he did not even see what was about to happen because of his selfish ways. But lucky for him and his family he saved her family from destruction listen to the end of the story: 1 Samuel 25:36-39
a. 36When Abigail went to Nabal, he was in the house holding a banquet like that of a king. He was in high spirits and very drunk. So she told him nothing until daybreak. 37Then in the morning, when Nabal was sober, his wife told him all these things, and his heart failed him and he became like a stone. 38About ten days later, the LORD struck Nabal and he died. 39When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, “Praise be to the LORD, who has upheld my cause against Nabal for treating me with contempt. He has kept his servant from doing wrong and has brought Nabal’s wrongdoing down on his own head.” Then David sent word to Abigail, asking her to become his wife.
b. The man was blinded by his selfishness and in the end he had a heart attack and died!
i. Selfishness I believe will always cause us to die from a heart attack in the spiritual sense of the word. It will kill us in the end!
ii. God does not honor or bless selfishness.
d. Selfish people never think about how their lifestyle or self-centered actions will impact others. They only care about their own interests and self gratification.
T.S. – A selfish person reveals their true colors by how they view themselves in light of how they treat others in need.
2. People who are self-centered ask this question frequently, “What’s in it for me?”
a. This focus in life creates a person who is useless to the Kingdom of God.
i. This individual thinks the world owes them something.
ii. This person thinks that the church owes them something.
iii. This person thinks that Jesus is his personal Santa Claus and He owes them something.
iv. This person thinks of church as the place to be served but not as a place where you give.
1. The focus is all on receiving but not on giving.
b. The “What’s in it for me?” is there primary focus in everything.
i. They point the finger at others and say – you are not a Christian because you did not do this for me!
ii. This attitude is reflected in The Good Samaritan story told by Jesus in Luke 10:30-36: 30In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. 35The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’ 36“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”
1. The priest and the Levite passed by on the other side, leaving the injured man without assistance. They were to consumed with their own lives and duties to be willing to help this person out. The Samaritan on the other hand lost sight of self, and turned attention to the needs of the victim.
a. This man had compassion because he denied the self.
i. This man bound up the man’s wounds, took him to an inn, paid the bill, arranged for future care, and promised to reimburse the innkeeper later.
b. Note: one preacher stated, “Selfishness curtails devotion to duty.”
iii. 1 Corinthians 13:5 states love is “Not self-seeking.”
1. Failure to show real concern for others discloses lack of love. There are some who do not care what happens to others and therefore it reveals their selfish hearts.
c. A person who is self-centered will always ask, “What’s in it for me?” There life will center around meeting their own personal needs and wants!
T.S. – A person who is selfish will treat others badly because they have no love for others and this selfishness will also hinder their service to God as well.
3. A person who is selfish will allow their personal concerns to dominate over their service to God.
a. A person who is gripped with selfishness will always do what they want first – it will be their priority in life.
i. Life will center a round meeting all their whims and wants and God will always take a back seat to their wants.
1. Philippians 2:21:21For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.
ii. God will not be a priority in persons life because their god is themselves:
1. These individuals will miss church a lot for selfish reasons.
a. They will not be faithful to honoring the Lord on His day.
2. These individuals will blame others for their failure to serve God.
a. It’s the pastor’s fault, the elders fault, the worship leader or someone else who does attend.
3. These individuals will allow their personal concerns to outweigh service to God.
a. I cannot help out in the nursery because I want time for myself every week!
b. I cannot use my talents for God because I am too busy playing on all these sports teams.
i. God does not mind if I miss church every other week because I love sports.
c. God does not care if I live in sin with this women He loves me any way!
i. He understands my special status and exempts me from judgment.
d. I cannot help out with Kid’s club and help kids memorize verses because I have things to do like watch TV!
i. Work more to make more money to spend on what I want.
e. I cannot go to a retreat my time is worth more than that! I have things to do!
i. Play golf
ii. Read
iii. Party
iv. Self-indulge
v. Play
vi. Build my own kingdom
b. The Bible speaks of individuals who are like this in a few places. Let’s look at what it says:
i. Hag 1:2-6: 2This is what the LORD Almighty says: “These people say, ‘The time has not yet come for the LORD’S house to be built.’” 3Then the word of the LORD came through the prophet Haggai: 4“Is it a time for you yourselves to be living in your paneled houses, while this house remains a ruin?” 5Now this is what the LORD Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. 6You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.”
1. These chosen ones of God decided that their life was of more importance than serving and helping to build up the temple of God.
2. The challenge from God is “Give careful thought to your ways!”
a. These people were self-centered and God took a back seat in their lives. He told them to take a step back in their life and evaluate their motives and their actions.
b. He warned them that their pursuit of self will lead to little and they reap what they sowed.
i. Destruction is on the horizon and their selfishness is the cause of it all.
ii. Paul also warns the Christians in his day not to continue to seek their own ways but to become like Timothy.
1. Philippians 2:19 -22: I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, that I also may be cheered when I receive news about you. 20I have no one else like him, who takes a genuine interest in your welfare. 21For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. 22But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.
2. Timothy is held up by Paul as a role model in the church because he puts the interests of Jesus ahead of his own interests unlike many other in the church and in society.
3. We need to role model the ways of Timothy because these selfless ways please God.
iii. Paul even reminds us in 2 Corinthians that Jesus and his selfless love for us should compel us to serve others instead of ourselves.
1. 2 Corinthians 5:14, 15:14For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
2. We all should be grateful to Jesus for what His selfless life gave us. Remember he gave us eternal life and salvation. It was a result of his self-sacrifice for us that we received it from God.
a. This great gift should propel us to serve Jesus and His kingdom for the rest of our lives.
c. Selfish people will not serve God and they will soon discover that their self-centered ways will bring little to no reward in life. In the end it will cost them the path destruction and cursing not blessing.
T.S. – The person who is self absorbed cannot please and serve God and therefore they will produce not eternal fruit but instead works of the flesh which will bring them down and not up.
4. The person who is self-centered will not produce eternal fruit instead they will produce the works of the flesh.
a. Self-centered people will be untrustworthy.
i. They will not be reliable friends or reliable employees because they will measure everything in light of how it impacts their wants.
ii. They will be unreliable spouses.
iii. They will be untrustworthy parents.
iv. They will be fringe people in the church who others cannot count on for help in times of need.
b. Self-centered people will not be givers but takers.
i. Life will be about getting from others but never giving toward others.
ii. Selfishness will always rob God.
1. The Jews in Malachi’s day acted selfishly by offering blind, sickly, lame animals in sacrifice to Jehovah. They withheld the tithes and offerings which belonged to the Lord (Mal. 1:8; 3:8).
2. Just as they robbed God, many today rob Him of money, time, the use of their energies, and their resources.
3. They will always make excuses for their self-centered ways.
c. Self-centeredness will bring disgrace and dishonor to a person.
i. It will lead to a lonely and dishonored life with no eternal value.
ii. Self-centeredness will deprive a person of joy because they will never be satisfied trying to serve the flesh.
iii. These people are trapped in a state of self-inflicted misery.
iv. Ananias and Sapphira lied in an attempt to cover their selfish greed in (Acts 5:1-11):
1. 1Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. 2With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet. 3Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? 4Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied to men but to God.” 5When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died. And great fear seized all who heard what had happened. 6Then the young men came forward, wrapped up his body, and carried him out and buried him.7About three hours later his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. 8Peter asked her, “Tell me, is this the price you and Ananias got for the land?” “Yes,” she said, “that is the price.” 9Peter said to her, “How could you agree to test the Spirit of the Lord? Look! The feet of the men who buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out also.”10At that moment she fell down at his feet and died. Then the young men came in and, finding her dead, carried her out and buried her beside her husband. 11Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events.
v. They copied another person 4:36, 37:36Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means Son of Encouragement), 37sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostles’ feet.
1. They liked what they saw and they wanted to self-gratified.
d. Jesus has role-modeled for us how to live and serve.
Conclusion:
No one is Christ-like unless he is unselfish. The Son of man “came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many” (Matt. 20:28). Our Master gave Himself in service and in sacrifice for us and we need to do the same.
