Introduction:
A. If your tongue has ever gotten you into trouble, then please raise your hand.
1. Turn to your neighbor and say, “I’m not surprised!”
2. We are not surprised, because it happens to all of us.
3. All of us have had the experience of saying something, and then wishing we had not said it!
B. I heard the story of a man who worked at a produce department of a grocery store.
1. A woman came up and asked if she could buy half a head of lettuce.
2. It had been one of those days, and before he could think he replied, “Half a head? Are you serious? God grows these in whole heads and that’s how we sell them!”
3. The lady responded, “You mean that after all the years I have shopped here, you won’t sell me half-a-head of lettuce?”
4. “Look,” he said, “If you like I’ll ask the manager.” She indicated that would be appreciated.
5. So, the man marched away to find the manager and when he found him said, “You won’t believe this, but there’s a lame-brained idiot of a lady back there who wants to know if she can buy half-a-head of lettuce.”
6. As he was saying that, he noticed that the manager was trying to subtly stop his outburst.
7. The crazed worker turned around to see the lady standing behind him. Unbeknown to him, she had followed him as he searched for the manager.
8. But without skipping a beat, the worker said to the manager, “And this nice lady was wondering if she could buy the other half of the head of lettuce.”
9. Later in the day the manager cornered the young man and said, “That was the finest example of thinking on your feet I’ve ever seen! Where did you learn that skill?”
10. The worker replied, “I grew up in Grand Rapids, and if you know anything about Grand Rapids, you know that it’s known for its great hockey teams and its ugly women…”
11. But before the worker could proceed with his explanation the manager interrupted him, “My wife is from Grand Rapids!”
12. The worker quickly asked, “And which hockey team did she play for?”
C. Oh, how our tongues get us into trouble!
1. If my mother said it once, she said it a thousand times, “THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!”
2. Every day, you and I speak thousands of words.
3. That is a lot of opportunity for us to say the wrong thing, am I right about it?
D. As we begin chapter three of James, we notice that he devotes most of this chapter to the tongue and its implication for Christians.
1. As you know from our study thus far, James has been intent on helping us see the implications that our faith should have on our lives.
2. Last time we discussed James’ focus that a faith that saves is more than just something you say, feel or think, it is something you DO.
3. As we learn to do our faith, James has already shown us that our faith should impact the way we endure our trials, and the way we overcome our temptations.
4. He has already pointed out that because of our faith we should have a handle on our anger, and our propensity toward prejudice and favoritism.
5. James has summarized what God expects from us saying that, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” (James 1:27)
E. Now in chapter three, he returns to the subject of the tongue.
1. Back in chapter one he introduced the topic in two verses.
2. James 1:19, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry…”
3. James 1:26, “If anyone considers himself to be religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.”
4. James wants us to understand just how destructive and nullifying the tongue can be.
5. The negative influence of the tongue can override an otherwise godly life.
6. So, let’s see what points James makes in chapter three about the tongue, and then let’s work on some practical steps for taming the tongue.
I. James’ Pronouncements About The Tongue
A. James makes three pronouncements about the tongue here in chapter three.
B. First, James says that the TONGUE IS SMALL, BUT POWERFUL.
1. He perfectly illustrates his point with three common realities.
2. First, he reminds us of the fact that very large horses are controlled by a very small bit.
a. As you know, horses are incredibly powerful, many of them weigh about 2000 pounds.
b. Yet, even a small child can control and direct a horse by the small bit that is placed in a horses mouth and is connected to the reigns.
c. The secret of the bit is the fact that it is placed in one of the horses most sensitive places.
d. Have you ever had a small child put a finger or two in your mouth and tug? It hurts!
e. That’s the principle of the bit.
3. The second word picture that illustrates his point is that a large ship that is steered by a small rudder.
a. Greg Mork and Mark Warren know a lot about naval ships.
b. Some of you have been on cruise ships.
c. These boats are floating cities, hundreds of feet long, thousands of tons, yet they are steered by a small rudder in comparison to their size.
4. The third picture he wants to come to our minds is that fact that a small spark can start a large fire.
a. Fortunately, our climate is wet enough that we don’t experience too many forest fires.
b. But every year in California, and this year down in Florida, we see how that hundreds of thousands of dollars of damage is done as forest fires sweep across housing developments.
c. They may start by one careless cigarette tossed out the window of a passing car, or by one strike of lightening.
d. Like the old devotional song…it only takes a spark!
5. So, what is James’ point? The tongue is only a small part of the body, but it causes all kinds of trouble!
6. Pound for pound, the tongue is very small, but it is oh so powerful.
C. Secondly, James says that the TONGUE IS UNCONTROLLABLY DANGEROUS.
1. Again, James returns to the illustration of fire. It only takes a small spark, but once a fire gets going it is almost impossible to stop.
2. One fire I read about in Northern California burned over 14,000 acres and took 1350 firefighters to put out the blaze.
3. James mentions the fact that we have tamed many kinds of wild animals, and we all enjoy seeing them at the circus. Whether it is the tigers, or the elephants.
4. He said, we can tame them, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
5. With that, I picture a poisonous snake on the loose.
6. The tongue is uncontrollably dangerous, it can set the whole course of a person’s life on fire.
7. It can and does destroy – reputations, families, and futures.
D. The third pronouncement that James makes about the tongue is the TONGUE IS TERRIBLY INCONSISTENT.
1. He says, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.” (3:9-10)
2. How tragic it is that we can be using our tongue to praise God in worship, and then 10 minutes later we can be using our tongue to demoralize our child in the car, or we can be criticizing or gossiping about someone in the congregation.
3. Our tongues are terribly inconsistent, but James declares “My brothers, this should not be!”
4. Then he asks a couple of rhetorical questions – “Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? Can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs?” (3:11-12)
5. Well what’s the answer to the questions? Everyone say, “Of course not, silly!”
6. If the spring yields salt water, it will always yield salt water.
7. Apple trees don’t bear oranges, and visa versa.
8. James’ challenge for us is to be more consistent with our tongues.
9. If we are going to be God’s people then the output or fruit of our tongues should consistently be godly and good.
E. So these are James’ pronouncement about the tongue, and we all would agree that our experience is consistent with his assessment.
1. The tongue is small, but powerful. The tongue is uncontrollably dangerous. And it is terribly inconsistent.
2. How should we respond to this reality? Should we give up and give into the negative power of the tongue? Of course not.
3. God wants us to learn to tame the tongue, and with his help we can.
4. Why else would he give us so many commands in other parts of the Bible about proper speech if there is not the possibility that we can learn to control our tongues?
II. God’s Plan For Taming The Tongue
A. We could spend a lot of time in this lesson dwelling on all the bad things we have said and how we have hurt others with our words, but that would be unprofitable.
1. What we need to do is to focus on how we can do better in the future.
2. So, let’s spend the final few minutes of our lesson, thinking about the proper and improper uses of the tongue.
B. First, Avoiding the Improper Use of the Tongue
1. Paul taught in Eph. 4:29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.”
2. So, what kinds of things should we avoid?
3. First, We should avoid profanity and vulgar speech.
a. This is one area where we can really stand out in contrast with the world around us.
b. Everyday speech has become so filthy and people’s vocabulary so limited.
c. I like what “Peanuts” cartoonist Charles Shultz said on this point, “I have a strong dislike for vulgar phrases and find that terms like “good grief” and “rats” will cover virtually anything that happens.”
4. Second, We should avoid complaining and arguing.
a. This is one of those things that God really detests.
b. Listening to some people you would think that complaining and arguing are sports you can letter in. You know what I mean?
c. Paul wrote, “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe…” (Phil. 2:14-15)
5. Third, We should avoid gossip and slander.
a. Prov. 29:19 says, “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.”
b. So much damage is done in the church when people talk about others.
c. I think this is one of Satan’s most effective tools to destroy the church.
d. Before we say anything about anyone we should stop and ask ourselves, “why am I about to talk about this person?”
6. Fourth, We should avoid lying. I don’t think I need to say much about that.
7. Fifth, We should avoid negative speech that criticizes and tears people down.
a. There is a time for correction and constructive criticism, but it must be approached wisely and with a lot of love and gentleness.
C. So, now with the things to avoid in mind, what are the proper uses of the tongue?
1. First, We should use our tongue for praise, prayer, confession and thanksgiving.
2. Second, We should use our tongue for teaching others the love and Word of God.
3. Third, We should use our tongue to encourage and build others up according to their needs.
a. Solomon said in Prov. 25:11, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”
b. Proverbs 12:25 says, “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”
Conclusion:
A. You might be thinking, “Okay, David, I know the wrong and right uses of the tongue, but the problem is I can’t control my tongue. Can you give me some help about the ‘How To’ of controlling my tongue?”
B. Here’s some things I find helpful.
1. First, Be Asking God for Help. Throughout the day, pray for the ability to control the tongue.
2. Second, Be Slow to Speak. We need to delay our response. Give ourselves a few seconds to weigh our words.
a. Here is an acrostic I came across: T-H-I-N-K. Think before you speak.
T – is it True?
H – Is it Helpful?
I – Is it Inspiring?
N – Is it Necessary?
K – Is it Kind?
b. I read about one person who was not allowed to talk for 6 months, and so all communication had to be on paper. The person reported that so much was left
un-communicated because having to put it on paper caused them to see how unimportant or hurtful it was.
c. Solomon says, “He who holds his tongue is wise.” (Prov. 10:19)
d. Someone said, “There is nothing wrong with having nothing to say; unless you say it!”
e. The old saying is true, “Keep Your Words as Sweet as Possible – You may have to eat them.”
3. Third, Have Heart Surgery if Necessary.
a. Jesus taught, “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Mt. 12:34; 15:19)
b. If we don’t want awful stuff coming out of our mouths, then we need God’s help to get the awful stuff out of our hearts.
c. The good news is that Jesus specializes in heart transplants.
4. Finally, Remember We Will Meet Our Words in the Judgment.
a. Jesus said, “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Mt. 12:36-37)
C. Thank God for His grace and His assistance in taming the tongue.
1. May everyone of us learn to use our tongue for good and not evil.
2. The tongue has the power of life and death, may we use it to bring life and bring glory to God.
D. Perhaps as we end this lesson you need to do something positive with your tongue.
1. Maybe you need to ask God for help.
2. Maybe you need to make a confession and ask God or others for forgiveness.
3. Maybe you need to express thanksgiving to the Lord for something.
4. Maybe you need to confess your faith in Jesus and be baptized into Him.
