One day, in the suburbs of Savannah, a waste management worker turned down an alley on his route. There was a dumpster about halfway down. He pulled his truck over to prepare the dumpster when he heard the noise of a little baby. Looking around, he saw no-one, but inside the dumpster, laying amidst the broken wine bottles, coffee grounds, rotting food and lying in a sea of pornography was a one week old baby.
He rescued her from the filth and called her baby Grace because she had been left for dead and by the grace of God she was delivered from sharing the same fate of the pornographic magazines and the bottles that the man found her in. She was rescued from the dump, and once the newspapers and television news reported her story, she took Savannah by storm, and the baby, who’s own mother rejecter had couples lining up to adopt her and claim her as their own.
Baby Grace’s first week is a metaphor: a picture of our own lives, when like her, many of us were discovered in a dumpster spiritually speaking, surrounded by the filth of our sin: wine bottles, hypodermic needles, pornography. We were pitiful, helpless, needing rescue… And by the Grace of God, Jesus was there. He is the worker, who hears the cry and sifted through the garbage to rescue his people. He cares about and has the power to redeem you from things like alcoholism, drug addiction and pornography.
Some of you here today are still secretly crying out because you’ve faced some sort of sexual dysfunction. Some of you are so spiritually weak that you can’t help yourself. You can no longer resist the temptation because it’s been so long since you’ve been close to God that your spirit is weak and vulnerable. Some of you are in need of a Saviour to lift you out of the dump you’re in.
I want you to know, you are within in earshot of Jesus. You are close to salvation today, if you’ll call out to Him and be saved. You’re in the right place to be delivered from the mess you’re in.
Some people believe church is an atmosphere free of sexual temptation; that no one in the church could possibly be dealing with sins as dark as pornography, masturbation or sexual addiction, but I want you to know that these things are a lot more prominent than you might think.
* Statistics say a third of this congregation has willingly visited a sexually explicit website some time in your life, and of that third, 50% did so within the past 12 months.
* Last year, US porn revenues exceeded the combined revenues of ABC, NBC and CBS (over 6.2 billion a year), and they’re still growing… Child porn alone generated $3 billion.
* 70% of Internet porn traffic occurs between 9am – 5pm, during the workday, AT WORK!
In fact, in 1 month, employees at IBM, Apple, and AT&T spent a total of 13,048 hours on the penthouse magazine website. Last year, America lost $83 billion in productivity because pornography viewed by people “on the job.”
According to the Counsel on Sexual Addiction Compulsivity, 6-8 % of Americans are sex addicts.
Addiction to sexual stimuli isn’t just an isolated problem any more, friends. It’s an epidemic of huge proportions, and every few months it gets worse because Internet use doubles every 100 days.
Sexual stimuli affect everyone. It hunts us down on television, in magazines and over the Internet. You don’t have to want it to find it. It will find you and lure you into its addiction. It’s called the crack cocaine of the spiritual realm because, like cocaine, pornography is highly addictive in nature. A perfectly innocent Internet user can be browsing the web, come across a pornographic picture, follow his or her curiosity and within minutes be hooked on hard-core porn.
There are people in every church, secretly struggling over sexual issues, and they’re too ashamed to tell anyone because they’re afraid they’ll thought of as perverts for the rest of their lives. Someone said, “The church shoots its wounded.” We don’t do that here. At Valley Community Church, we believe in restoration and in giving people the help they need, amen?
If you’re here today, secretly suffering from sexual addiction, then know this with all your heart: that God’s desire for you is freedom. You’ve suffered shame and guilt long enough. God’s will is to win you back, heart soul and mind, to a right relationship with Him.
Keep that in mind during the sermon today that the message is for everyone of us.
Some are here today here because you are plagued by sexual behaviors or addictions.
Others need to hear this message because you’re vulnerable too.
I: THE WAY IN: How does addiction to sexual stimuli begin?
Sexual addiction is like dynamite: made up of only 3 individual ingredients: sugar, sulfur and potassium nitrate. Apart from each other, these ingredients don’t do a whole lot, but when they come together in the right ratio, they are volatile and explosive!
Sexual addiction is the same way… It begins when just a few seemingly innocent ingredients blend together into a mixture that ends up being extremely volatile in the life of a believer…
INGREDIENT #1: ISOLATION.
Most sin happens when you’re alone…
Furthermore, we are most vulnerable to sin when we are ISOLATED FROM GOD!
“I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip…”
Believers are vulnerable to temptation when we are not walking in the Spirit.
Gal 5:16, “So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.”
Take a look at King David’s life. He started out as a shepherd, ISOLATE WITH GOD in the wilderness… And he developed a passionate relationship with the Lord, because he spent time with the Lord and he knew the power of the Lord on a regular basis: time away with God…”
He was faithful with little, so God gave him more. He defeated Goliath and became famous. Up till then, isolation was the only ingredient. But when he became famous, temptation entered the picture.
But then he started to get famous, and rich. By the age of 30, David was made King of Israel and all his responsibilities as king slowly began sapping his time away from the Lord, and what had become time of isolation with God became time of isolation FROM God…
INGREDIENT #2: TEMPTATION
When you are dragged away and enticed by your desires…
King Solomon… Just as he collected wives. Even though his sexual addiction was hidden behind the legitimate social institution of marriage, his sexual appetite had spun out of control.
King Solomon.
Little by little, he became spiritually weak until his ability to resist temptation to sin was zero.
His relationship with God was starved to death by the responsibilities of life, and by the time he finally strolled out onto his balcony one night for some peace and isolation he was a spiritual weakling: a sitting duck for temptation.
Bathsheeba strolled outside naked for a bath. Two ingredients were present, which came together in one, volatile, explosive mixture: isolation from God and sexual temptation, and David was defeated. Notice how addictive it was! One glance is all it took and he was hooked. Next thing you know he was willing to kill in order to fulfill his desire to have sex with her… Soft porn became hard porn within a span of just a few days.
INGREDIENT #3: ACCESS
King Solomon had access to anyone whom he wanted to marry.
David’s son and successor, King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines.
You can’t tell me he didn’t have a sexual addiction!
Today, men and women have as much power as King David. Anyone with a computer can sneak a peak of soft porn any time we want: night or day. For most explorers, it escalates into hard porn in a matter of just minutes and burns unforgettable images into the minds of men, woman and even children for the rest of their lives.
Like DYNOMITE, those three ingredients: Isolation, Temptation and Access are the elements: the Molotov cocktail of the spiritual realm that lead us into extremely dangerous and volatile sins such as pornography and sexual addiction.
II: THE WAY OUT: How do I resist this temptation and stop this from destroying my life?
I: CONSIDER THE CONSEQUENCES OFTEN:
>>>>>>Story of men, pastors who faced consequences: legal, marital, social, emotional, physical…
CONSEQUENCES FOR BODY, MIND & SPIRIT
Body: 1 Cor 6:13, “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.”
1 Cor 6:18-20, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”
Mind: Guilt, shame, perversion, thought life polluted by disgusting thoughts and images, which convince the person he or she is a worthless pervert: self degradation, humiliation and separation from God.
Matt 6:22-23, “"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN EVERYONE FINDS OUT?
HOW DOES GOD FEEL ABOUT IT, WHO ALREADY KNOWS?
1 Thes 4:3-8, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.”
II: PLUCK IT OUT! Put it away, once and for all…
Intro: 2:00 video on porn: “If your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away…”
Matt 5:27-29, "You have heard that it was said, ’Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”
TAKE IT OUT! Take out the element of temptation and willpower.
Add the element of the Spirit of God to strengthen you by spending time with Him.
Don’t be the sitting duck!
How to deal with temptation / adultery.
If you are tempted to be unfaithful to your spouse, which is better: to nurture the unhealthy relationship, to continue to test the waters and face temptation, or to cut it off and run away?
Certainly, if you want to avert a disastrous and life threatening mistake, you need to cut off any and all communications: cause the adulterous relationship, thought life, everything, to die by cutting it off completely. Don’t email, don’t telephone that person, don’t talk to them!
In the same way, if you are faced with unbearable temptation, you cut it off!
Illustration: “Take the willpower factor out of it and throw it out!”
I was watching “The Biggest Loser” Monday night: a show about obesity and who can loose the most weight. One of the contestants was sitting at the table with a huge plate of food in front of him.
He was just getting ready to shovel some of it into his mouth when his trainer grabbed his arm to pull the fork away.
He said, “Don’t you dare, or I’ll stab your arm!” but she grabbed the plate away from him and dumped a whole shaker of salt on the food…
She said, “Never depend on your willpower! Take the willpower factor out and destroy the food so you can’t eat it. Then the decision is over with.”
NEVER DEPEND ON YOUR OWN STRENGTH TO OVERCOME TEMPTATION!
CUT IT OFF! Focus on The Lord. Love Him with all your heart and He will rescue you, but YOU are responsible for cutting off anything that stands between you and Him.
29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”
III: Confess it to others / accountability.
“My best porn deterrent is called The Club. My wife will beat me with it if I ever look.”
You MUST confess the problem to your spouse, and to a friend, who can keep you accountable. WHY?
Typically, the addict becomes isolated from family, acts differently, has to hide the secret lifestyle.
This is damaging to the whole family.
ACCOUNTABILITY>>>>>> 2 Sam 12:7, “Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man!”
Speaking of accountability: WOMEN, Share some of the responsibility and dress appropriately.
FINALLY: When God sent Nathan to give the wake up call, David was completely broken.
IV: Brokenness brings in the renewal of a right relationship with God and family.
Matt 21:44, “He who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed.”
David’s brokenness and repentance is what brought Him back into right relationship with God…
Ps 51:2-3, “Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.”
Ps 51:7-8, “Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice.”
Ps 51:10, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
Ps 51:17, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”
III: THE ROAD TO RECOVERY is not a ‘quick fix.’
1: You must start with repentance and Jesus (The CRIMSON TIDE).
THE MORE BROKEN, THE BETTER. Let Him cleanse the guilt, wash away the sin, give you a new beginning, make you a new creation…
2: Changes in your devotional life. GET AWAY WITH GOD!
3: Walk according to the Spirit. Most addicts are more familiar with the world’s offerings (sports, TV, etc..) than with sitting in the Lord’s presence. He will transform your desires.
COME OUT AND BE SEPARATE. YOU WERE DESIGNED TO BE SANCTIFIED!
2 Cor 6:17-7:1, "Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you." "I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."
There are plenty of ‘laws’ in the Bible, all of which God wants us to obey… However, there are a few, which we consider to be big time laws. They carry more weight than the rest because they’re emphasized by God as “The Ten Commandments.”
Of all the things that “Get God’s dandruff up (If He were to have dandruff, which He undoubtedly doesn’t!) breaking the Ten Commandments has to be number one on the list.
We all know they’re vital and important to being in right relationship with God. Would it be bad for someone to break the Ten Commandments every day? Could that be dangerous to a man’s soul?
Of course! So then, why do we do it?
Most of us break the most important commands of God every single day , or at least once a week…
For instance, how many of you in the past week has said, “Oh my G-D?”
That’s using the Lord’s Name in vain… #3 on the Top Ten DON’T DO LIST:
Exodus 20:7-17:
7 "You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.
How many of you take one day off every week to relax and get away with God?
Number 4 on the Top Ten list: "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God.”
If you’ve copied a copyrighted CD or DVD, or loaded a program onto your computer that doesn’t belong to you, then you’re guilty of number 8 on the Top Ten List: “You shall not steal.”
Would you be comfortable with your spouse knowing every thought you’ve had about them, or about someone else throughout your entire marriage?
Have within the past 7 days taken a second glance at a hot body? Did you have thoughts you’d be ashamed to mention up here in front of the church? Only God knows… He knows your heart, every secret corner. He hears every thought and knows very deeply about your every motive…
His 7th commandment says, "You shall not commit adultery.” Exodus 20:14
Jesus said, Matt 5:27-30, “"You have heard that it was said, ’Do not commit adultery.’
28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Funny how we justify these sins to accommodate our lifestyles, but the truth of the matter is, if we break any one of them, then we are guilty of breaking the first one: “You will have no other gods before me.”
And any time we put something or someone before the greatest love in our life, we have committed adultery…
Our goal in Christ is to love God to such a degree, that no one and nothing compares to the relationship we have with Him… Do you remember when you were love for the first time? Do you remember experiencing infatuation that convinced you no one else mattered as much as that person you felt so strongly about?
An incredible thing happens when we take time to Get Away With God and have encounters with Him. We grow more passionate about Him. We realize how meaningless and selfish life is without Him in it, and the ‘things’ we thought were so important before become less interesting…
Our relationship with The Lord is like a marriage, and a marriage is a trust, where two people decide to be faithful. When one of the marriage partners runs after someone else, the trust is broken, and we call the person an adulterer.
This is what happens when we place other things before God: we become adulterous. We betray God and ourselves when we sin against Him.
Illustration: Yesterday Guy VS Today Guy
Power and potence of God’s commandments is life or death. Separation or reconciliation.
The stakes are high. Therefore, if there is anything; anything at all, which separates you from God, then you must get rid of it. The spirit man will be thankful to you for it in the long run…
Have you ever left all your laundry and dishes for the “next day?” You end up with a huge pile of laundry and dishes. The “Today Guy” ends up having to pay for “Yesterday Guy’s” laziness. Sometimes, I remember Tomorrow Guy when I don’t feel like doing something, and I’m always thankful when Yesterday Guy does his job so today, I can rest…
CHAPTER 7
1 Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.
Rom 6:19
19 I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness.
Heb 10:15-23
15 The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First he says:
16 "This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds."
17 Then he adds: "Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more."
18 And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin.
19 Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus,
20 by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body,
21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God,
22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.
23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
In church, when a black thought attempts to nest itself in our minds, we shew it away because we expect God’s presence there, but what about when we’re home alone?
What do you do with your unspiritual thought life while away from the house of God?
Do you feed the birds? Do you nurture unhealthy thoughts? Have you entertained sexual fantasies or
Although the church has within it the power and the ability to overcome all sin by the power of God through Jesus Christ, yet it is still a place full of people on the mend; people that need healing. And people need healing because they have an illness. And one of the most common illnesses people deal with, especially today because of the influence of a sexually persuasive society, is sexual sin.
The simple answer to sexual sin is Jesus. But the road back home from sexual sin to Jesus is not a simple road, and the path to recovery, as with that of any life controlling habit, is difficult and often times very painful.
