Disclaimer: Source material for this sermon has been gleaned from many different sources. I have attempted to acknowledge these sources whenever possible. I am especially indebted to Rick Hine, Pastor of Bedford Baptist for the conceptualization of this message. Please feel free to use this message as God’s Holy Spirit directs your heart.
EVERYBODY NEEDS A FRIEND
2 SAMUEL 13:1-17
Introduction: Amnon, David’s first born son and crown prince - first in line for the throne of Israel, was infatuated with his half sister Tamar and longed for her so much that he became ill. It was even more difficult for him because she was a virgin - meaning that she was available for marriage, but not to him because marriage between half-brother and sister was forbidden. On his own, Amnon wouldn’t act upon his improper desire. The problem is that “Amnon had a friend”. This friend basically told Amnon to go ahead and act on his lust - after all he was the crown prince. Due to the influence of his friend, Amnon followed his friend’s wicked advise and raped his own sister bringing shame on himself, on his sister, and on his whole family. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” or “Wicked friends lead to evil ends.” You and I definitely do not need that kind of friend in our lives, but everybody needs a friend – a true Christian friend that will be there when we need them. There is within each of us a profound need for friendship. This is rarely achieved. There are many who live out their entire lives without a genuine, authentic friendship. Everybody needs somebody, everybody needs a friend. But we must be extremely careful when we choose our friends. Proverbs 12:26 The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.
I. What is a friend?
A. Everyone with whom you have a social relationship may not qualify to be a genuine friend.
B. There’s a big difference between Acquaintances and Friend
C. An acquaintance is someone who you know, who you see every now and then, who you probably have something in common with and who you feel comfortable around. It’s a person that you can invite to your home and share things with. But they are people who you don’t share your life with, whose actions sometimes you don’t understand because you don’t know enough about them.
• Greg Slayton, a CEO in Silicon Valley, says that in the busy world in which he lives, he is exhausted by the frenetic pace. Here’s how he describes where it has left him in relationship with others: "The sense of isolation is a curse. It is the curse of 10,000 acquaintances. You find no one to talk to when things go really bad." – copied
D. A friend is someone you feel safe around because you know they genuinely care about you. They stick with you and stand by you. They hold your hand. They watch you live and you watch them live and you learn from them. Your life is not the same without them.
E. Someone has said that Friendship is when two people bring out all their baggage and it’s “OK.”
F. Friendship is the greatest love, the greatest usefulness, the most open communication, the noblest sufferings, the severest truth, the heartiest counsel, and the greatest union of hearts and minds of which men and women are capable. – adadpted
G. Proverbs 18:24 A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
H. A British publication once offered a prize for the best definition of a friend. Among the thousands of answers received were the following:
• “One, who multiplies joys, divides grief, and whose honesty is inviolable.”
• “One who understands our silence.”
• “A volume of sympathy bound in cloth.”
• “A watch that beats true for all time and never runs down.”
The winning definition read:
• “A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.” - Bits and Pieces, July, 1991
II. What are the qualities of a friend?
A. Friends are committed to each other.
1. Proverbs 17:17 (NKJV) A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
2. Someone who is a true friend will be your friend no matter what you do, what you go through and no matter what happens to you.
3. Proverbs 27:10a (NKJV) 1Do not forsake (abandon) your own friend or your father’s friend…
4. Friends are the people you feel safe around because you know they care about you. They stick with you and stand by you. They hold your hand. They watch you live and you watch them live and you learn from them. Your life is not the same without them.
5. Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but to pour them all out just as they are, chaff and grain together knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. – George Eliot
B. Friends are Honest with each other.
1. Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
2. "A friend is one who warns you." – old Jewish proverb
3. Proverbs 24:26 An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.
4. Friends are the people who won’t laugh at you or hurt you, and if they do hurt you they try hard to make it up to you. But they also tell you the truth, the first time, and you do the same. You know that if you have a problem, they are there to listen.
5. A friend is totally honest with you and tells you the honest to God truth even when it hurts. They do so because they care about you and they have a genuine interest in your life and they want to see you succeed and have the best life has to offer.
6. Ephesians 4:15 (NKJV) … speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head - Christ.
7. Colossians 4:6 (NKJV) Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one..
C. Friends Encourage and Help each other.
1. Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.
2. Proverbs 27:9 Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.
3. Job 6:14 “To him who is afflicted, kindness should be shown by his friend, Even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty.
4. Friends encourage one another in the Lord; they draw one another closer to the Lord. They do not draw each other down and away from the Lord.
5. “True friends are those who lift you up when your heart’s wings forget how to fly. They know the song in your heart and sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”
6. In the Peanuts comic strip, on one occasion, Peppermint Patty said to Marcie: “I’d like to read this book, Marcie, but I’m kind of afraid. I had a grandfather who didn’t think much of reading.” She continued by saying, “He always said that if you read too many books, your head would fall off.” Marcie responds, “You start the first chapter, and I’ll hold onto your head!” - copied
7. Ecclesiastes 4:9 - 10 (NKJV) Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.
III. Who is our greatest friend?
A. There is no one in heaven or on earth who will love you, accept you, be honest with you, be there for you or help you spiritually more than the Lord Jesus Christ.
B. The greatest friend you can have is Jesus for He sacrificed Himself for you.
C. John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.
D. The greatest friend you can have is Jesus for He said I will never leave you nor forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5)
E. There is tremendous relief in knowing that His love to me is utterly realistic, based at every point on prior knowledge of the worst about me. There is, certainly, great cause for humility in the thought that He sees all the twisted things about me that my fellowmen do not see, and that He sees more corruption in me than that which I see in myself. There is, however, equally great incentive to worship and love God in the thought that, for some unfathomable reason, He wants me as His friend, and desires to be my friend, and has given His Son to die for me in order to realize this purpose. - J. L. Packard
F. We should never forget that He is our greatest Friend; but we should also never forget that our greatest Friend is also the King of heaven - before whom the angels of heaven bow! He is a friend Who is able to help whenever we are in need.
G. Jesus is my friend and he will always be with me, no matter where I go,
or what I do, Jesus will always be with me, right by my side my whole life through.
