What If?
How To Be Confident In Your Decisions
O2 Preview – 10.19.05
I. Introduction
Choices, whether they’re about how to stay smooth after doing a face plant or what outfit to wear tomorrow, are inevitable. Choices are unavoidable. Everyday you’re faced with decisions to make.
I mean, just think about it. You have to choose when to wake up, what clothes to wear, whether to brush your teeth or not, whether to use mouthwash, whether to take a shower or a bath, whether to comb your hair or wear a hat, the list goes on and on and you haven’t even gotten out of your house yet. And then you go to school, you have to choose what desk to sit in, who to talk to, whether to raise your hand because you know the answer or sit there and act stupid like everybody else, whether to tell the teacher your dog ate your homework or whether to tell the truth. And this is just first period. And what about lunch? You have to decide whether to eat the lunch your mom packed, or be a bully and eat Little Bobby’s, or maybe you didn’t bring your lunch, so you have to decide whether you want square pizza or hard hamburgers, and then you have to choose your sides: french fries, corn, lima beans or broccoli. And you’re only halfway done with school. The choices are endless.
Big choices and little choices. NO matter how big or small, each choice affects you in some way. You say, well, it doesn’t really matter that much what I choose to eat for lunch. I mean, that’s no big deal. Well it is if you’re lactose intolerant and you can’t have dairy products. And you choose the square pizza, which has cheese on it, a dairy product, now that’s gonna affect you, and chances are, it won’t be pretty. I mean, the dairy’s gonna want to come out as soon as possible, one way or another.
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering about your life and whether or not you’ve made the right choices, then you made the right choice tonight by coming here because I want to share with you some insight on making the right decision and not second-guessing your self to the point where all you think about are the decisions you’ve made in the past.
II. Gather All The Info
In order to make an informed decision, you have to be informed.
Luke 14:28 MSG “Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn’t first sit down and figure the cost so you’ll know if you can complete it?”
This passage is about being informed. You wouldn’t decide to build a house without first finding out how much it’s going to cost. In the same way, you shouldn’t make a decision without finding out all the details about that decision.
Have you ever made a decision without being fully informed?
What about that second helping of spicy hot curry you ate without knowing about the effects it would have on your intestines?
What about that vacation that you took with your family without actually seeing the place where you’d be staying and you spent the entire week of your hard-earned vacation sleeping on a roll-away bed in the living room instead of on a Sealy Posturepedic covered in 400-thread count sheets?
What about that job you took without knowing about the corrupt owner and his unlawful mafia-like business techniques that landed you as a key witness in a million-dollar lawsuit and relocation due to the witness protection program?
Well, maybe those things haven’t happened to you, but something similar probably has. And you know as well as I do that it pays to be informed.
It also pays to do this next thing, which is best illustrated in this short video. Check it out.
III. Think Ahead
Every decision has a consequence. If you weigh the consequences BEFORE you decide, then you’ll be able to be more confident in your decision.
Making the right decision involves wisdom.
Proverbs 8:12 ESV “I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and I find knowledge and discretion.”
Wisdom and prudence go hand in hand. One of the meanings for prudence is circumspection, which literally means to look around, being careful to consider all circumstances and possible consequences. So, in order to make the right decision and be confident in that decision, you have to look around and evaluate every option, and then play out that decision to consider the consequences. Every choice you make will come with a consequence, and that consequence may be good or it may be bad, all depending on the decision you make.
For instance, let’s talk briefly about a possible decision that will have different consequences based on your choice. Let’s say that one of your friends from school is throwing a party on a Friday night. After being invited, you decide to take the first step of being informed. So you ask questions like: who’s going to be there? Will there be alcohol or drugs? Will your parents be there? How long will it last? What will we be doing?
To which the answers are: Everybody’s going to be there. Of course we’ll have alcohol, no parents, you can stay all night if you want, and we’ll be dancing, drinking, smoking, and hanging out.
Now, you go through possible decisions and weigh the consequences.
Option 1 – Go to the party but just say no to drugs/alcohol.
Possible Consequences –
A. You give in to peer pressure and have just one drink. While taking that drink, someone bumps into you and you spill beer all over your clothes making you an obvious target for parental punishment.
B. You say no to drugs and alcohol, but one of those who didn’t say no has a little too much and pukes on you. Your good time is ruined by a tremendous amount of throw-up.
C. You take in too much second-hand smoke and have an allergic reaction that sends you to the emergency room.
Option 2 – Don’t go to the party and threaten to call the cops on your “friend.”
Possible Consequences –
A. Your “friend” has the party anyway and tells the whole school that you’re a wuss.
B. Your friend threatens to have his jock friends turn you into a pretzel if you tell on him.
C. Your friend says, “Go ahead, make my day,” in his best Clint Eastwood voice and punches you in the stomach causing you extreme pain and the crowd that forms around you to see you cry like a baby.
Option 3 – Tell your friend that your parents would kill you if you lied to them about his party and that if you told the truth, they would kill him.
Possible Consequences –
A. Your friend cancels the party in fear of losing his life at the hands of your relentless shotgun-wielding father.
B. Your friend sees the error of his ways and changes the party to a community viewing of “The Passion of the Christ.”
C. Your friend says “Forget You!” and goes ahead with his party plans. You tell your daddy about the party and instead of killing your friend, he tells your friend’s parents who totally bust him and ground him for life.
Option 4 – Be honest with your friend about your convictions against drugs and alcohol and invite him to your house to spend the night instead.
Possible Consequences –
A. Your friend cancels the party and spends the night with you giving you the opportunity to lead him to Christ.
B. Your friend throws the party anyway, but respects you and your convictions because you stood up to him.
C. Your friend says that your house is lame, at which point you’re faced with another decision about whether or not you should beat him to a bloody pulp.
So, circumspection – weigh all the options, look around.
And that works with every choice you make, whether it’s choosing a candy bar at the gas station or buying your first house.
IV. Hear from the Holy Spirit
If you’re going to be absolutely confident in the decisions you make, you have to be sure that you’ve made the RIGHT decision. And the only way to make the right decision is to be influenced by the Holy Spirit.
John 14:26 NKJV “26But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.”
The Holy Spirit can’t teach you all things unless he knows all things, right? Well, then, wouldn’t it make sense that he would know the best decision for you to make in any given situation? That’s right. So, when you’re faced with a choice that would require some wisdom, and you don’t seem to know the best thing for you at that particular moment in time, it’s best to be led by the Spirit. Begin praying and ask God to tell you what to do in that situation. Pray in the Spirit, pray in tongues and expect the Holy Spirit to give you a peace about what to do.
A lot of times we take it upon ourselves to make the small decisions that may seem easy to us, while we pray to God and request His help for the larger ones that seem overbearing. “God, I can decide for myself which classes I should take next year, but when it comes to passing those classes I need your help.” “God, I can choose what’s best for me when it comes to relationships, but when it’s time to get serious about a marriage partner, I need your help.”
It’s time to allow the Holy Spirit to lead us in every area of our lives, whether we see them as big or small, important or insignificant. It matters not how we see our decisions, it only matters that the Holy Spirit knows the answer and if we exercise wisdom, we’ll allow him to help in every decision that we make.
Two keys to hearing from the Holy Spirit are listen and act.
Listen. Listen on the inside. Listen to your spirit, to the inner man.
This isn’t some hocus pocus magic trick. It’s getting quiet enough to let your spirit relay a message to your mind.
In the book of Acts chapter 27, Paul was on board a ship for Rome. Well, Paul sensed in his spirit that something was wrong. He didn’t say that God told him, he said that he perceived on the INSIDE.
Act 27:9-11 NKJV 9 Now when much time had been spent, and sailing was now dangerous because the Fast was already over, Paul advised them, 10 saying, “Men, I perceive that this voyage will end with disaster and much loss, not only of the cargo and ship, but also our lives.” 11 Nevertheless the centurion was more persuaded by the helmsman and the owner of the ship than by the things spoken by Paul.
Act. Act on the outside. Once your spirit relays the message to your mind, do what your spirit says. If your spirit says stay in class a few minutes before you walk out into the hall, then do it. If your spirit says speak to that person in the library with her head down crying, do it.
Paul sensed in his spirit that something was wrong on that ship, and he told the captain, but the captain did nothing, and it was a terrible mistake.
Act 27:21-22 CEV “Since none of us had eaten anything for a long time, Paul stood up and told the men: You should have listened to me! If you had stayed on in Crete, you would not have had this damage and loss. But now I beg you to cheer up, because you will be safe. Only the ship will be lost.”
Their lives were spared, but they lost the ship and all the merchandise on it because of a shipwreck.
Have you ever sensed anything on the inside and ignored it? Sure, we all have. But we need to learn to listen and act on what we hear.
V. Stick with the Decision
Once you’ve gathered the info, weighed the consequences, heard from the Holy Spirit, and made a decision, stick with that decision no matter what the circumstances look like. If you’ve done the things we’ve talked about and you have a peace on the inside about your decision, then follow through no matter what things look like on the outside. If you get a check in your spirit or an uneasiness on the inside, it’s time to take another look at that decision and possibly change your mind.
If you do all of these things, you’ll never have to ask yourself, “What if?”
So, what are the four keys to stopping the what if question before it begins?
Gather all the info.
Think Ahead.
Hear From the Holy Spirit.
Stick with the decision.
Let’s pray.
