Getting Over Your Hang-ups
Series: Letting God Guide You
May 1, 2005
Recently the news media has been having a heyday reporting the questionable (and usually illegal) behavior of well-known people, (professional athletes, politicians, preachers, presidents, even royalty). From Martha Stewart to Michael Jackson the investigative reporters have been kept busy digging up news to satisfy the public’s insatiable appetite for scandal.
If nothing else, all of these scandalous stories have emphasized the truth of the biblical warning found in Num.32:23…you may be sure that your sin will find you out . In otherwords, we may be able to cover up our sinful actions for awhile…but eventually the truth surfaces, and everybody finds out what’s really going on. In the end, we find out the hard way that “the wrong we do to others… we’re actually doing to ourselves”.
One of the games I used to love to play as a kid while on long trips with my family, was the game… “Hang-man”. Remember it? You’d draw a hang-mans gallows on a piece of paper, and then somebody would come up with a word. They’d count the # of letters in the word, and then draw out the spaces in the word as a clue. Your job was to guess the word one letter at a time. If you guessed right, a letter would fill in the space. If you got it wrong, a part of the hangman would be drawn on the gallows. If the stick figure was drawn before you guessed the right letters… you lost and were hung by your neck. If you somehow managed to guess the right word… your life was spared! It’s kind of a morbid game if you think about it, but the tension was addicting, and we’d play it over and over!
Well, in this mornings episode of the story of Esther, we’re going to read about a game of hangman…& you can cut the tension with a knife. The evil villain, Haman, had hatched a diabolical plan to destroy God’s people… and it looked like He was going to pull it off! But as we’ll soon find out, Haman’s plan would backfire! Haman was playing a high-stakes game of ‘hang-man’… and so are some of you! (Warning: temp. moratorium on BOOOing)
Today, we’re going to see how an evil man was able to gather up enough rope to hang himself…and how if we’re not careful…we can do the same thing. See, in life, if we’re not careful, it’s possible to either be hung-up on our hang-ups… or get OVER our hang-ups.
READ Esther 5:9-14
When we last visited Esther…the Jewish nation was poised for extermination, and only one young woman stood in the way. Esther. She was the newly appointed queen and a Jewess. As the heroine of our story, Esther had managed to invite King Xerxes and Haman to a special banquet thrown in their honor. Sensing the time wasn’t right to approach the king and expose Haman for the murderer He was…she invited them back the next day for another banquet. As Haman left the banquet that day He was exhilarated!
All of his dreams were coming true! He was the happiest man in the entire kingdom! He was singing… “Zippity Do Daaa!!!!”
Everything was right in the world… when all of the sudden, out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of Mordechai! And unlike all the other people he meant on the way home… he wasn’t trembling! He wasn’t even bowing… in fact, He didn’t even stand up! Arrrrrggg! “Why does this guy have to ruin a perfectly beautiful day!” Unwilling to show himself as the jerk he is in public… he holds himself together long enough to get home.
And when He gets home… he starts bragging! He brags about his wealth. He brags about his children. He brags about his position. And most of all he brags about the fact that He was invited to another banquet with the king and queen! Ever known anybody like this? I used to know a pastor… (explain)
Unknowingly, Haman had put his head in the noose of the 1st hang-up, that you can get hung-up on! PRIDE! Now, as we go through the message this morning, I want you to help me out. I want you to play along. The 1st hang-up that will destroy your life is having a
1. Big Head (Pride)
So I want you to fill in the spaces that I’ve given you on your notes… with the word BIG…and then, I want you to draw a BIG FAT HEAD under the gallows there on your notes. (that’s always the 1st part of the stick figure you draw when you make a mistake in hang-man. And believe me…Haman was making a BIG mistake!
If you’ve ever watched “Spongbob Squarepants”…Haman reminds me so much of Plankton…because here’s this little squatty, short, scrawny, Plankton… but He’s always boasting that He’s going to RULE THE WORLD! (Show ‘Sponge Bob’ video clip…) Haman thought He was “all that”. He convinced himself that He was a great and mighty man… when in reality, like ‘Plankton’… He was a runt! I don’t know how tall he was, but regardless of his height… Haman was a very small man! Prov. 29:23 states, “a man’s pride will bring him low”.
The destructive results of pride are 3-fold…1st
1. Pride COUNTS our chickens… before they’re hatched!
A lot of time we see a proud person and think, “Wow! They’re so confident, so secure in themselves.” When actually the opposite is true. In reality, pride is a mask people wear to hide their insecurity. They try so hard to convince themselves that they have worth…
…they end up worshiping themselves! Someone said, that pride is… “ the national religion of hell" It was pride that turned Lucifer into Satan: He bragged in Isa.14:14 that He was going to be like God. And so, counting his chickens before they hatched, he launched a rebellion that resulted in him being thrown out on his can! He’s still sore about that!
Haman decides to hang Mordachai, and he’s so confident that the starts the construction before even getting approval from the King. Pride causes us to plan our lives without consulting the King. God Himself. James in N.T. warns us against making plans without asking God… “ Look here, you people who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” 14 How do you know what will happen tomorrow? For your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. 15 What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” 16 Otherwise you will be boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil. -James 4:12
How many of you have found out that even the best plans of mice and men sometimes fall through? Murphey’s Law guarantees that! Life... (if you think about it) is one big “IF” In fact... even the word itself has a big fat “IF” right in the middle of it! L...I...F...E
(ever notice that?) Life is really a pretty ‘iffy’ deal!
I mean, there’s no guarantee that bad things won’t happen. Many times it’s waiting for us right around the corner...It’s like the guy who found himself on the streets of Belfast in the middle of the night. He hoped to get back to the hotel without being attacked... when suddenly a dark figure jumped out of the shadows and grabbed him around the neck. He stuck the pt. of a knife against his throat and asked in a gruff voice.. “Are you Catholic or Protestant?”
Siezed with panic the man reasoned with himself... “If I say Catholic and he’s Protestant -ekkk! But if I say Protestant and he’s Catholic... - ekkk!
But then he thought of a way out... He said, “I’m a Jew!”
The mugger laughed, “HA! I’m the luckiest Arab terrorist in Belfast!”
Sometimes you just can’t win in life. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow... do you? So I need to entrust myself to the God who DOES know tomorrow. I think that’s why it’s so dangerous to plan without first praying. Without God involved in our lives... protecting us and directing us... WE’RE SUNK! James tells us to preface all of our planning with the words... “If the Lord wills!”
You say, “But couldn’t that become just a cliche’ if we’re not careful? Sure it could!
“Lord willing, I’ll make par on the back 9”
“Lord willing, I’ll get the pair of pants I want for Christmas!”
It could just become a cliche’ (and for many people it is)... but that’s not what James is advocating. He’s saying, “Instead of getting all our plans together and then saying, “God here are my plans... I’ve worked everything out... now make something happen!.. Why don’t you ask Him what He wants 1st? (Honda bought without praying! But you’re the pastor! I know! I feel terrible about it!) We need to stop praying, ‘God bless what I’m doing’... and instead start praying... ‘Lord... help me to do what You’re blessing!’
If you’re not doing that, then you’re presuming on God… and that’s PRIDE! Because whether you realize it or not, you’re proclaiming your self-sufficiency and independence from God. It’s the idea that “I am the master of my own fate!… I don’t need God. I’ve gotten this far without Him... and I don’t need Him now!” PRIDE! That’s the kind of presumption Haman lived by. The thought of God watching Him, seeing his actions, and being involved in protecting His people… was the furthest thing from His mind. He was about to get a rude awakening!
The 2nd thing danger that pride causes is that…
2. Pride CLOUDS our vision… (draw two eyes)
Haman was so convinced of his importance that he never dreamed that Esther could have anything against him.
He was excited about the 2nd banquet, when he should have been cautious. Fresh from an intimate dinner with the king and queen, and anticipating a second banquet the next evening, Haman launched himself on an ego trip that disgusts me every time I read it. Note the number of personal pronouns he uses here: his friends, his wife, his riches, his sons. (By the way, there are 10 of them!) This guy was so stuck on himself, he couldn’t believe that anybody would be out to get him! Someone has said that “Pride is the only known disease that makes everybody sick except the person who has it.” That fit Haman to a tee!
Paul W. Powell once observed: “Pride is so subtle that if we aren’t careful we’ll be proud of our humility. When this happens our goodness becomes badness. Our virtues become vices. We can easily become like the Sunday School teacher who, having told the story of the Pharisee and the publican, said, ‘Children, let’s bow our heads and thank God we are not like the Pharisee!’”
Prides so subtle, it’s not a bad idea to listen to yourself every once in a while. For example…
· If every conversation has to begin and end with your name… then you might want to ask God to help you with your pride.
· If it always has to be about YOU… check your pride.
· If you’re always demanding your way… check your pride
Because like Haman, your pride is causing you to be oblivious to the fact that you’re making more enemies than you are friends… and sooner of later it’s going to come back to bite you!
Which leads to the 3rd destructive result of pride…
3. Pride CAUSES our fall …
Because pride causes us to be presumptive and cocky…we eventually make the mistake that hangs us. When the king asked Esther to state her petition, Haman’s head swelled as big as a watermelon…here was the king and queen of the largest empire on earth… discussing a personal matter in his presence! Ohhh!!
Not only was he the king’s ‘confidant’, but now he was privy to the queens business! Of course he would come to the banquet tomorrow night! How could they possibly make a decision without His wise input! Apparently, had never read another famous kings book of true wisdom…(READ Prov. 16:18) Haman was confident that he was set for life, when in reality he was just a few hours away from death. Unless it’s cured, the sickness of pride will lead to death.
Okay, ready to play the game of ‘hang-man’ some more? The next destructive hang-up after a big head is a…
2. Bitter Heart
Esther 5:9 tells us that Haman was “filled with rage against Mordecai” Another translation says that Haman was ‘furious with Mordecai” It’s a word that the American version translates as MALICE. Comes from maliciousness… which means… “ill-will, desire to injure. wickedness, depravity. Not ashamed to break laws”
Malice is that deep-seated hatred that brings delight if our enemy suffers, and pain if they succeed. Malice never forgives; it always takes revenge. Malice has a good memory for hurts and a bad memory for kindnesses. In 1 Corinthians 5:8, Paul compared malice to yeast, because, like yeast, malice begins very small but gradually grows and finally permeates every corner and crevice of our life.
The insidious thing about malice is that it has to act; eventually it has to express itself. But, when you shoot at your enemy, beware! Because the bullet usually ricochets off the target and comes back to shoot you! If you want to hang-yourself, the fastest way I know to do it is to be like Haman and cultivate a malicious spirit.
Haman hates Mordachai, so much that he decides to build a gallows. Actually the word ‘gallows’ Haman builds is different from the one in your notes.
In the Heb. it’s the word… ‘es’, which means tree or pole. In otherwords, this was death by being impaled. The victim was forced to sit on a pointed stake. The more they struggled the deeper and deeper it penetrated until finally vital organs were reached. So Haman plans this unbelievably cruel death for a man who’s only crime was that he felt insulted by him. A man with Haman’s authority could always trump up some charge, and the king wasn’t about to take time to investigate. (Of course, this was before Ahasuerus discovered that Mordecai had saved his life! ) Malice is blind…Can’t make wise decisions if you have bitterness in your heart because … it kills everything it touches.
So wasting no time, Haman ordered that the gallows be made. We’re not sure whether the gallows itself was 75’ high or whether it was put in a prominent place that lifted it to that height, But regardless, He wanted to use Mordecai’s execution to frighten the Jews and eliminate any resistance. The execution of a prominent Jew such as Mordecai would paralyze the wills of the Jewish people in the empire, and Haman would have them in his bloody hands. The plan was perfect… except for one thing… God was standing in the shadows, protecting his own… (isn’t that good to know?)
(READ Prov. 5:21–23) In the end, the very thing Haman intended to use against his greatest enemy turned out to be the instrument of His own execution.
Jesus warned us in Luke 17:1... (READ) In otherwords, it’s not a matter of “will” you be offended at some point in your life... it’s a matter of WHEN! Read my lips... everyone of you here this morning will be offended at something someone says or does to you at one pt. or another in your life. And if it hasn’t happened to you yet... check your pulse...because there’s a doubt in my mind that you’re really alive!
It may come from a parent. Perhaps a family member, a brother or a sister... It may come from a co-worker, from a fellow church member... from your pastor... but Jesus is warning us... IT WILL COME!
I want to be real brave right now…how many of you either have been offended in the past by someone, or you’re offended right now at someone? (Would you be honest enough to raise your hand right now?). Do offenses occur in churches? You better believe it! If you don’t... hang around awhile! (I don’t mean that lit.!) Even in as loving and warm a congregation as we have here... it happens! That’s because, as Jesus says... it’s impossible for it NOT to happen!
So the real question becomes ... what are you going to do when it happens? Because listen to me very closely... how you respond to an offense will determine your future and the future of a lot of people around you! I know of a number of people, (good people, God fearing, church attending people) who after they got offended… never darkened the door of a church for the rest of their lives... caused kids to stop seeking God… and are putting their own spiritual life in jeopardy. This serious stuff folks!
Offended people produce a lot of fruit in their lives... fruit like hurt, anger, outrage, jealousy, resentment, strife, bitterness, envy and even hatred. Some of the consequences of picking up an offense are insults, attacks, division, broken relationships, betrayal and backsliding. Most of the time, people who are offended don’t even realize they’re trapped. The trap is hidden to them because they’re so focused on the wrong that was done to them. And listen, the enemies most effective way to blind us is to get us to focus on ourselves.
Jesus made it very clear that it’s impossible to live in this world and not have the oppur. to become offended.
So why are we so shocked when it happens to us? Because it comes from people we don’t expect it to come from! It comes from our closest friends, our trusted family members... people we grow up with, confide in, sleep next to... attend church with. This makes the offense feel like a betrayal. An offense leads to betrayal and betrayal leads to hatred and malice.
Why is it that you find the greatest hatred among the people who were the closest at one time? Any lawyer will tell you that the most vicious cases they deal with are found in the divorce courts. History shows that the bloodiest wars are civil wars. Brother against brother. Son against father. Father against son. Why is that? I’ll tell you why... Only a friend can get close enough to hurt you. Just ask Jesus...he experienced this with his trusted friend Judas.
Mark this down... the closer the relationship... the more severe the offense! A lot of Christians aren’t able to fulfill God’s plan for their lives because of the wounds that offenses have caused in their hearts. The word Jesus uses in Lk. 17:1 for “offend” in the greek is “skandalon” It’s the word that originally referred to the part of the trap to which the bait is attached. (SHOW RAT TRAP) Now this morning, I’ve brought a rat trap to show you exactly what I’m talking about. It’s this part of the trap right here... (pt. to part and spring trap). OUCH!
In the N.T. this word “skandalon” was used to describe a trap that has been set by an enemy. And in a very real way, “offense” is a tool that the devil uses to bring people into captivity. Paul instructed us in II Tim. 2:24-26... (READ)
He’s saying that those who get into quarrels or opposition fall into a trap and are actually used by Satan to accomplish his will as long as they remain offended. There are 2 results of bitterness… (Here’s where I want you to get your pencils out and draw two lines in form of an ‘X’.) The 1st one…
a. BLAMING others
If you are projecting blame onto others for your hurts, you’ve already fallen into this trap. A lot of times when we’re offended we see ourselves as victims and blame the people we think have caused us pain.
· If it wasn’t for my parents I’d have a normal life! It’s their fault I’m where I am today!”
· If it wasn’t for my X... I wouldn’t be in this trouble today!”
The list is endless! That’s because it’s easy to blame everyone else for our problems and imagine how much better off we’d be if it hadn’t been for that person. Sometimes we even resent people who remind us of others who’ve hurt us in the past. Haman was so filled with hatred of the Jews in general (and Mordecai in particular) that he couldn’t even enjoy talking about his greatness! Now that was deep bitterness!
Our bitterness causes us to focus outward instead of inward, (where we should be focusing). We begin to justify our bitterness, unforgiveness and anger as “their” fault. But I want to emphasize this point... Absolutely no man or woman... (not even the devil) can force you out of the will of God. No one but God Himself holds your destiny! When we blame others and defend our own position... we’re blind. We struggle to remove the speck out of our brothers eye... but Jesus says there’s a log in ours!
The 2nd result of bitterness is…
b. Barren life…
Draw 2nd line…Here’s Haman bragging to anyone who will listen, but then he says… in vs. 5:13…“But all this gives me no satisfaction, as long as I see that Jew Mordecai sitting at the king’s gate” His rapture turned to rage, when He thought of Mordecai.
Listen, bitterness, malice… doesn’t add to life… it robs you of it! Eventually your bitterness will suck the life out of everything and everyone you love… until there’s nothing left.
Only one way to release yourself from the noose of a bitter heart… FORGIVENESS!!!
· not forgetting
· not excusing
· not trusting
Letting go of the hurt! (Bell Tower) You can forgive because Christ forgave you for something much worse!
The last hang-up we we need to get over, or it will hang-us is…
3. Bad direction
Bad advise will cause us to go in the wrong direction, and even destroy us. (draw feet) Did you notice who it was who came up with this brilliant idea to build a gallows 75 ft. high and impale Mordacai on it? His wife and friends!
Did you know it’s possible to poison the attitudes of your friends and attitudes that they will give you horrible advise? I’ve done it, you’ve done it… we’ve been hurt or mistreated by somebody and we tell our wife and friends the entire miserable tale… from OUR point of view… without ever mentioning our faults and mis-deeds.
We tell people how we were fired, and all about those mean people at work… without ever mentioning that we were showing up late and leaving early. It’s so easy to play the victim in every circumstance and make the other guy look like the villain. I’m sure that in Haman’s twisted mind… he was the innocent lamb… being persecuted and maligned by the evil Mordacai.
It’s so easy to make our “EX”… sound like the ‘wicked witch of the west!’
It’s so easy to make that person who confronted you, look like a vicious, malicious, rude person…all in an effort to avoid our faults. If that’s you… STOP IT! Have the courage to tell the story straight. Stop using your friends to sanitize and rationalize your revenge.
Let me just say this… if you don’t have anybody in your life who’s willing to confront you and tell you the truth about yourself… you’re in big trouble! And besides that… you need to get some new friends! The bible says,“faithful are the wounds of a friend” –Prov.27:6
In otherwords, you may not like what they say, but a true friend will tell you the truth about yourself…not to hurt you, but because they love you.
It’s like my dad would tell me as I was leaning over his bed getting ready for a spanking, “This will hurt me, more than it’s going to hurt you!” RIGHT! Later, when I had to discipline my kids, I found out it was true! When someone loves you, it’s not easy to tell you what you don’t want to hear. But they love you too much to let you think you’re okay, especially when they know your decision or actions are going to destroy you in the end. Apparently, Haman didn’t have any friends like that… because they told him what he wanted to hear, and in the end, he was skewered on the very pole he was setting up for his enemy.
A Big Head… a Bitter Heart…. And Bad Decisions will hang you every time! Haman’s options were up! And like we used to say when the stick figure was complete… “Hang-Man!” For Haman, the game was almost over.
Are you getting hung-up on your hang-ups?
* Pride? Is it all about you?
· Bitter?
· Suffering from bad advise because given wrong info?
In all of these incidents… you’re only hanging yourself! It will all come back to bite you in the end. The words of Psalm 7:14–16 make me think of Haman: “ There are people who think up evil and plan trouble and tell lies. They dig a hole to trap others, but they will fall into it themselves. They will get themselves into trouble; the violence they cause will hurt only themselves.
There is a ‘Law of Retribution’ in this world that says, the person who maliciously seeks to destroy others ends up destroying himself.” The French writer Albert Camus wrote in his novel ‘The Fall’: “There’s no need to hang about waiting for the last judgment—it takes place every day.” Someone once wrote…
Though the mills of God grind slowly,
yet they grind exceeding small;
Though with patience He stands waiting,
with exactness grinds He all.
Haman didn’t realize it, but 3 forces had already begun to work together to destroy him. Are they at work destroying you? (pride, bitterness, decisions made as a result of both). You may not feel it , or realize it now… but remember “the mills of God grind slowly”. You can’t continue living your life against God’s principles and expect to avoid the consequences.
To avoid judgment… you have to repent. Change the direction of your life. Forgive… stop trying to get revenge through your anger and you actions. Some of you already under God’s judgment. It’s happening. The gallows are being built by your pride and bitterness. Don’t worry about that other person…Judgement is God’s job, not yours.. and don’t worry… He’ll get to it. Your job is to live rightly and justly.
PRAY
