Summary: Unlearning what we have learned from the world, and learning what we need to know from God.

Developing a Godly View of Women

Rules for Holy Living

Colossians 3 : 1-17

1. Today we are going to be examining having healthy relationships, but especially healthy relationships with women.

2. It is important to understand what “Healthy” means.

a. Healthy – means to work or function as originally designed.

3. On the flip-side then. Unhealthy or to use a more common term, “Dysfunctional” means:

a. Dysfunctional – means to not work or function as originally designed. Therefore, a dysfunctional family is a family that does not work or function as it was originally designed. A dysfunctional relationship is a relationship that does not work or function as it was originally designed.

4. Let’s consider cars, computers or other household appliances for example: If you want the item to last for a long time and work or function well “AS IT WAS ORIGINALLY DESIGNED” during the time that you have it, you strive to follow the manufacturer’s recommendations for care and maintenance. In so doing you realize and acknowledge that the one who made the item knows what it needs to operate and function, as originally designed, better than you.

a. What is an enthusiast?

b. Shouldn’t we be enthusiasts for Christ?

5. Therefore, having a healthy relationship with anyone, but especially between you and a woman, can only be achieved when you follow the instructions provided by the manufacturer – GOD.

6. Let’s consider this for a moment. When GOD created the world, man and woman; everything was healthy and worked in accordance with the original design. However, when sin entered the world, things became dysfunctional.

7. The fact that we live in a fallen world means that there will always be an element of dysfunction in our relationships, and they are not going to be perfect.

8. God, however, has provided His Son (Jesus Christ), His Word (the Bible), and the Holy Spirit to help us to be healed, restored and have the healthiest relationships that we can have in our current situation.

9. God created us, and He knows us inside and out. He knows what we need to function at our best and have a long and abundant life.

10. He knows what it takes for us to have healthy, minimally-dysfunctional, relationships.

11. Let’s start with looking at a passage from 2 Timothy. Specifically, 2 Timothy 3:16-17 which says:

a. “All scripture is god-breathed, and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

12. You have probably heard and or read this passage many times. But bear with me and let’s focus on four key words in this passage: Teaching, rebuking, correcting and training. These words can have different meanings in different contexts, but let’s consider them in the following ways:

a. Teaching – To teach means to impart knowledge to someone. The Bible gives us knowledge about God. What He is like. What pleases Him and what displeases Him.

b. Rebuking – To rebuke means to reprove sharply, or to reprimand. In other words, it means to stop doing something that we shouldn’t be doing.

c. Correcting – To correct means to show the right behavior or process.

d. Training – To train means to practice, typically in a repetitive format, the correct behavior or process. Discuss the military analogy.

13. These words as well as the order in which they are indicated are extremely important. Our God is a God of order. Let’s look at what he is telling us here:

a. Step 1 is to learn or to be taught what we need to know.

b. Step 2 is to stop any incorrect behavior.

c. Step 3 is to adopt the correct behavior.

d. Step 4 is to train in righteousness.

14. OK, now let’s talk about women from a worldly perspective.

15. First of all, when we are talking about anything from a worldly perspective, what perspective is that? Healthy or Dysfunctional?

16. Right anything that we are taught from or by the world is dysfunctional. Why? Because these are the ways of the Enemy, Satan himself.

17. Ephesians 2:1-3 tells us:

a. “1As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath.”

18. The point here is that while we were in and of the world, prior to submitting to the Lordship of Christ, and becoming part of His body: we followed the ways of the world or Satan (who is the ruler of the kingdom of the air).

19. Essentially, we had a dysfunctional view or perspective of things, especially about women.

20. When it comes to women, the world has taught us so many incorrect perspectives. Things like:

a. Women are supposed to look a certain way.

b. Women are here solely for the pleasure of men.

c. The physical attributes of a woman are the ones that count the most.

d. This also leads to us viewing women as objects, rather than as people.

e. And the list goes on and on.

21. Perhaps the most damaging thing that we have learned from the world is that men are supposed to lust after women.

22. More specifically, that to lust after or to desire to look at beautiful women is a natural thing. It is manly and proves that you are a man.

23. Now remember that we are talking about the world view, the dysfunctional view, and an unhealthy view.

24. See Satan is an angel created by God. He is a fallen angel, and God’s adversary. He has never created anything himself. All he does is take the good things created by God, and then distorts them and perverts them for the purposes of destruction.

25. Anything that God makes, Satan tries to destroy.

26. Remember, Satan has three primary goals; to steal, and kill, and destroy (John 10:10).

27. The world, as influenced by Satan, is taught to lust.

28. Lust is typically an intense or unbridled sexual desire. It can be further defined as a strong craving for something or someone that we desire to satisfy, even if it is against the will of God. Many times people, but especially men, confuse Love and Lust.

29. The Characteristics of lust:

a. Lust is universal, and everyone experiences it.

b. Lust cannot be satisfied.

c. Lust is destructive.

30. We must stop listening to and conforming to the teachings of the world, and start to conform to the teachings of God. Specifically, Romans 12:2 says:

a. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

31. We need to follow the four step model we have discussed. We need to:

a. Learn from God.

b. Stop doing the wrong things, as taught to us by the world.

c. Start doing the correct things as taught to us by God.

d. We need to train in righteousness.

32. Please Turn in your Bible to Colossians Chapter 3 and we are going to see this model clearly indicated:

a. The first paragraph, verses 1-4, is the teaching.

b. The second paragraph, verses 5-11, is the rebuking.

c. The third paragraph, verses 12-14, is the correcting.

d. The fourth paragraph, verses 15-17, is the training.


a. Note: This passage is telling us that we should live Holy, not carnally for Christ.

Rules for Holy Living

1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

5Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.[b] 7You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 11Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

12Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

34. Now let’s do a little comparison between Love and Lust.

35. First of all, we know and acknowledge that love is a good thing, and is of and from God.

36. Satan, however, has taken love and distorted its true meaning and intention to cause severe damage.

37. Examining Love, it:

i. Is of God.

ii. Can wait.

iii. Selfless.

iv. Giving.

v. Righteous.

vi. Moral.

vii. Peaceful.

viii. Develops.

38. Examining Lust, it:

i. Is of the world.

ii. Makes us want it now.

iii. Selfish.

iv. Taking.

v. Sinful.

vi. Immoral.

vii. Anxious.

viii. Destroys.

39. Ultimately, lust leads to:

a. Disappointment.

b. Hurt and pain.

c. Regret.

d. Destruction.

e. Loss.

40. Now, let’s flip over to Genesis, and read Genesis 2:18-25:

“18 And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 19 Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

23 And Adam said:

“This is now bone of my bones

And flesh of my flesh;

She shall be called Woman,

Because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

41. From this passage we see that:

a. Woman was given to man to be a suitable helper.

b. The woman was a gift given to man by God, as He brought the woman to the man.

c. Union of man and woman is to be by marriage.

42. Gentlemen, if you are deliberately choosing to commit Sexual Sin on a repetitive basis, you need to understand that this sin will:

a. Be an obstacle in your relationship with God.

b. Be a hindrance to God blessing your life.

c. Stunt your spiritual growth.

d. Continue to allow Satan’s lies to distort your view of women.

43. Guys we need to know and remember that:

a. Every woman is a creation of God.

b. Every woman is someone’s daughter.

c. Every woman may be someone’s mother.

d. Every woman is a person with a mind, emotions, a heart and a soul.

e. Every woman is to be valued.

f. Every woman is to be considered as a gift from God, when He brings us one to marry.

44. Finally, 1 Timothy 5:2 tells us that we should:

a. Treat older women as mothers.

b. Treat younger women as sisters with all purity.