Sermons

Summary: 1- Discerning and wandering 2- Knowledge and understanding

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INTRO.- Quips and quotes.

- A man in Missouri was told that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home so he moved to another town fifty miles away.

- The most talked about people at a family reunion are those who didn’t show up.

- A friend is one who strengthens you with his prayers, blesses you with his love, and encourages you with his hope.

- The easiest way to get a teenager to be quiet is to ask him where he’s been when he gets home.

- Some people treat life like a slot machine: putting in as little as possible while hoping for the jackpot.

- A man really isn’t poor if he can still laugh.

- When your education is finished, you are.

- Any man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.

- When a man sees eye to eye with his wife, it’s a sure indication that his vision has been corrected.

- A habit is something a fellow hardly notices until it is too strong to break.

- After 65 every birthday is alike. You just look forward to reaching it.

- Weather forecasting is still a few hours behind arthritis.

- A gossip is one who can turn an earful into a mouthful.

- The trouble with square meals is that they make you round.

- The man who rolls up his sleeves seldom loses his shirt.

- A true hypocrite is a person who writes a book praising atheism and then prays that it will be a good seller.

- A hair in the head is worth two in the brush.

- Free advice can be costly.

- Politicians who walk straight run better.

- A “rare gift” is any kind a woman gets from her husband after ten years of marriage.

- It’s wonderful to grow old – if you can remember to stay young while you are doing it.

- Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most.

- It would be a lot easier to lose weight and keep it off if the replacement parts weren’t so available in the frig.

- The quickest way to stop gossip is for everybody to shut up.

- When you see some people work, you wonder what they will do when they retire.

- Most new cars have so many warning lights and buzzers on the dashboard that just driving one makes you feel nagged to death.

- People who invite trouble always complain when it accepts.

- Making good in America should include helping make America good.

- One good thing about the good old days – if you bought a horse, you could be sure the model wouldn’t change next month.

- The best cure for a short temper is a lengthened prayer life.

- Nothing makes a woman feel older than meeting a bald-headed man who was two grades behind her in school.

- Any man who says he can read a woman like a book is probably illiterate.

- It’s true that you can’t fool all the people all the time, but some highway signs come pretty close.

- Attention public speakers: Nothing can be said after 35 minutes that amounts to anything.

- Any man who is honest, fair, tolerant, charitable of others, and well behaved is a success no matter what his station in life.

- The only way to avoid bad habits is to make it a habit to avoid them.

- A flood is nothing more than a river than has gotten too big for its bridges.


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