Sermons

Summary: 1- Plot not 2- Accuse not 3- Envy not

INTRO.- More human proverbs or quips and quotes.

- Many people complain of their memory, few of their judgment.

- One thing is certain: more people are going on diets tomorrow than today.

- Many people are too busy making a living to make a life worth living.

- There is less pain in biting your tongue than in losing a friend.

- Most people who sing their own praises can’t carry a tune.

- The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk. (and I would add: a long talk with the Lord)

- What if we tried as hard to be good as we try to be beautiful?

- Obstacles are things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

- Nothing will cook your goose faster than a red hot temper.

- Your ulcer can’t grow very fast while you’re laughing.

- Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.

- Faults are thick where love is thin.

- It used to be that death and taxes alone were inevitable. Now there’s shipping and handling.

- The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

- The silver lining is easier to find in someone else’s cloud.

- Abraham Lincoln had great difficulty getting an education, but what can you expect from a guy who didn’t play football or basketball?

- The new weather satellites are great scientific improvements. It now takes the weather bureau only half the time to give the wrong forecast.

- If you think habits aren’t strong, try shaving the other side of your face first.

- Don’t forget that appreciation is always appreciated.

- Anyone with normal blood pressure these days just isn’t paying attention.

- A night owl is a fellow who doesn’t give a hoot about what time he gets in.

- Many people don’t start economizing until they run out of money.

- The nearer the time comes for our departure from this life, the greater our regret for wasting so much of it.

- A politician will promise to do anything, just as long as he isn’t expected to do it now.

- Most of us wouldn’t mind Uncle Sam’s bite if he didn’t keep coming back for dessert.

- The handwriting on the wall usually means you’re in a telephone booth. (no, more like a public restroom)

- The recipe for perpetual ignorance is to be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge.

- We can stand a guy’s gift of gab if he picks up the luncheon tab.

- A devoted husband is one who assures his wife each morning that she’s right.

- If we could use the money that political candidates spend on their campaigns, we could cure a lot of the ills they complain about.

- One reason that photographs don’t always look natural is that photographers always tell their subjects to look pleasant.

- The most difficult thing to explain is something you had no business saying in the first place.

- The time a father worries the most about his son is when he remembers what he was doing at that age.

- A short cut is usually the quickest way to some place you weren’t going.

- It will be interesting to hear the teenagers of today tell their children what they had to do without when they were young.

- The voter has only one consolation: not every candidate running for office can be elected.

- If you are willing to admit that you are all wrong when you are all wrong, then you’re all right.

- A laugh at your own expense costs you nothing.

- It’s all right to be dumb, but it’s stupid to make a career out of it.

Now to the book of Proverbs.

I. PLOT NOT

3:29 “Do not plot harm against your neighbor, who lives trustfully near you.”

ILL.- A young man was shopping in a supermarket when he noticed that an older woman seemed to be following him, staring at him in a sorrowful manner. He moved to the next aisle, trying to avoid her, but she followed, still staring.

And when he finished shopping, he ended up behind her in a long checkout line. Her grocery basket was full to overflowing; his contained just a few items. She kept staring at him sadly, making him feel most uncomfortable.

Finally she spoke up. "Pardon my staring," she said, "but you look exactly like my son, who died just two weeks ago."

She began to sniffle as she repeated her claim that the young man perfectly resembled her late, beloved son. "I mean, exactly like him," she moaned.

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