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Summary: 1- Plot not 2- Accuse not 3- Envy not

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INTRO.- More human proverbs or quips and quotes.

- Many people complain of their memory, few of their judgment.

- One thing is certain: more people are going on diets tomorrow than today.

- Many people are too busy making a living to make a life worth living.

- There is less pain in biting your tongue than in losing a friend.

- Most people who sing their own praises can’t carry a tune.

- The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk. (and I would add: a long talk with the Lord)

- What if we tried as hard to be good as we try to be beautiful?

- Obstacles are things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

- Nothing will cook your goose faster than a red hot temper.

- Your ulcer can’t grow very fast while you’re laughing.

- Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.

- Faults are thick where love is thin.

- It used to be that death and taxes alone were inevitable. Now there’s shipping and handling.

- The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

- The silver lining is easier to find in someone else’s cloud.

- Abraham Lincoln had great difficulty getting an education, but what can you expect from a guy who didn’t play football or basketball?

- The new weather satellites are great scientific improvements. It now takes the weather bureau only half the time to give the wrong forecast.

- If you think habits aren’t strong, try shaving the other side of your face first.

- Don’t forget that appreciation is always appreciated.

- Anyone with normal blood pressure these days just isn’t paying attention.

- A night owl is a fellow who doesn’t give a hoot about what time he gets in.

- Many people don’t start economizing until they run out of money.

- The nearer the time comes for our departure from this life, the greater our regret for wasting so much of it.

- A politician will promise to do anything, just as long as he isn’t expected to do it now.

- Most of us wouldn’t mind Uncle Sam’s bite if he didn’t keep coming back for dessert.

- The handwriting on the wall usually means you’re in a telephone booth. (no, more like a public restroom)

- The recipe for perpetual ignorance is to be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge.

- We can stand a guy’s gift of gab if he picks up the luncheon tab.

- A devoted husband is one who assures his wife each morning that she’s right.

- If we could use the money that political candidates spend on their campaigns, we could cure a lot of the ills they complain about.

- One reason that photographs don’t always look natural is that photographers always tell their subjects to look pleasant.

- The most difficult thing to explain is something you had no business saying in the first place.

- The time a father worries the most about his son is when he remembers what he was doing at that age.

- A short cut is usually the quickest way to some place you weren’t going.

- It will be interesting to hear the teenagers of today tell their children what they had to do without when they were young.


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