Summary: the 3rd of a real followers series based on Mike Slaughter’s book
Eric A. Snyder, Minister, Farwell Church of Christ
January 20, 2002
Two men worked on a large ocean-going vessel. One day the mate, who normally did not drink, became intoxicated. The captain, who hated him, entered in the daily log: "Mate drunk today." He knew this was his first offense, but he wanted to get him fired. The mate was aware of his evil intent and begged him to change the record. The captain, however, replied, "It’s a fact, and into the log it goes!"
A few days later the mate was keeping the log, and concluded it with: "Captain sober today." Realizing the implications of this statement, the captain asked that it be removed. In reply the mate said, "It’s a fact, and in the log it stays!"
There was a man who was on his death bed and he called the three men that he trusted the most to come and see him. He called his minister, his doctor and his lawyer to him and said, “When I die, I my savings account of $90,000 divided three ways and when you walk by my casket, I want each of you to put your $30,000 into my casket to be buried with me.” They didn’t understand why the man wanted to be buried with the money, but they kept their promise to him. A week later, the man died. At the funeral, each man placed their portion into the casket as they walked by to pay their last respects. As they were eating dinner together afterward, the minister said, “Guys, I have something to confess to you. I kept out some of the money. We’re in the middle of the building project, so I kept out $10,000.” Then the doctor spoke up. He said, “Well, if were going to confess things to each other, I guess I’d better confess too. We’re adding a new maternity ward onto the hospital and I kept out 20,000 of my portion to help defray the cost.” The lawyer had a disgusted look on his face as he shook his head and said, “You guys ought to be ashamed of yourselves. I hope you know that my $30,000 will always be with him in the ground. I wrote a personal check for the full amount!”
The story is told of four high school boys who couldn’t resist the temptation to skip morning classes. Each had been smitten with a bad case of spring fever. After lunch they showed up at school and reported to the teacher that their car had a flat tire. Much to their relief, she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a quiz this morning, so take your seats and get out a pencil and paper." Still smiling, she waited as they settled down and got ready for her questions.
Then she said, "First question--which tire was flat?"
According to polls reported by USA Today American’s lie – and are lied to – much more than we realize. The book The Day America Told The Truth says that 91 percent of Americans lie routinely. 81 percent of those said they lied about their feelings.
Famous American Fibs
- The check is in the mail.
- I’ll start my diet tomorrow.
- We service what we sell.
- Give me your number and the doctor will call you right back.
- One size fits all.
- This hurts me more than it hurts you.