Sermons

Summary: There is a gap between what we expect and what people do, what we put in the gap will determine how good the relationship is.

INTRODUCTION

• Your relationships are only as strong as your trust.

• Two things make trust hard, what you see and who you are.

• Believers are taught to trust in spite of what we see or who we are.

• Sounds dangerous, but all the material we have today validates trusting gives life.

I Corinthians 13:4-7 NCV, “4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. 5 Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done. 6 Love takes no pleasure in evil but rejoices over the truth. 7 Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures.”

I Corinthians 13 - The love chapter

• Love doesn’t delight in evil. Trying to catch someone doing wrong.

• It always trusts…always? You say, “You haven’t heard my story!”

• Love tries to catch people doing the right thing.

• There is nothing gained by refusing to trust. Suspecion is a rejection of trust.

• We are all drawn to environments of acceptance, not rejection.

I. THREE THOUGHTS ON TRUST

• First, love gives the benefit of the doubt.

• Second, love looks for the most generous outcome. The gap; what do you put in the gap?

• Third, love chooses trust over suspicion.

First:

• When we communicate, “I don’t trust you,” you are choosing to close down the relationship at some level.

• When you are struggling to trust say so!

o “I really want to trust you” - when you’re struggling

• The last thing your partner wants to do is disappoint you.

• No one wants to be a disappointment.

• Asking them to perform higher isn’t the answer.

• Believing the best about them is.

• This creates margin, space for the person to be ok.

• They are afraid of you. They don’t want to fail again. No one does.

Second:

• You express trust when you believe the best. I accept you, I accept you.

• Say what’s real, but then next time don’t keep a list of wrongs but believe the best.

• Our hearts are drawn into environments of acceptance. They may come home late but their heart won’t.

Third:

• When you can’t trust you must chose to confront.

Matthew 18:15-17 - This is the only time Jesus laid out steps for something. He lets you chose, but here He says confront.

• Don’t gossip, don’t have imaginary conversation, confront!

• Ask for information and assume the best even then. I am going to bend.

• When I don’t know I confront, not walk.

• I am not a confronter. 90% of us don’t, but it is a good thing.

• Don’t hide behind your fear of confrontation or you will destroy the relationship.

II. FIVE COMMITMENTS FOR BUILDING TRUST

1. When there is a gap I will believe the best. I am deciding beforehand. I am going believe the best.

2. When others assume the worst about you, I am coming to your defense. “It could be…” Practice this the next time your friends dump on the other political party. It could be another reason.

3. If what I experience begins to erode my trust, I will come to you.

4. When I am convinced I will not be able to deliver on a promise I will tell you ahead of time.

5. When you confront me about the gaps I’ve created I am going to tell you the truth, no excuses.

• I want to trust you. I want to be trusted.

• Tell people, I want to trust them. Trust them and find out if they are trustworthy.

• If you have difficulty trusting people;

• What can you do to break that? Sit down with them and tell them, “I want to trust you and I am struggling.”

• Finally when there is a gap, trust. Extend not what they deserve, but what you would want them to do for you.

III. FILL THE GAP WITH TRUST

I Corinthians 13:7, “Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures.”

• All relationships have expectations and reality = The gap

• Verse 7 - Paul uses a little Greek phrase that blows you up; sounds pretty idealistic.

• NASB - “Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

• Word pas = all things - means all, the whole, everything

• This is probably where we got the idea that love must be blind.

• What does Paul mean? No accident here.

• He is getting into the guts of relationship building here.

• See all deep relationships are built on expectations.

Copy Sermon to Clipboard with PRO Download Sermon with PRO
Talk about it...

Nobody has commented yet. Be the first!

Join the discussion
;