Summary: Applies Jesus’ steps to returning to the church’s first love, to marriage. Suitable for Valentine’s Day.
RESTORING THE ROMANCE (Marriage 5)
Well, why don’t you treat me like you used to do? How come you treat me like a worn out shoe?
My hair’s still curly and my eyes are still blue.
Why don’t you love me like you used to do?
Why don’t you spark me like you used to do?
And say sweet nothings like you used to do?
I’m the same old trouble that you’ve always been through,
So, why don’t you love me like you used to do?
Well, why don’t you be like you used to be?
How come you find so many faults with me?
Somebody’s changed so let me give you a clue.
Why don’t you love me like you used to do?
(Hank Williams, Why Don’t You Love Me Like You Used to Do)
Some of you recognize that old Hank Williams song. Some of you who don’t recognize the song, can recognize the sentiment. If you are like most couples, when you married, when you got together, you saw stars.
You remember how things started out? You thought you’d be in love forever. Your palms would start sweating at the thought of holding her hand. Your breath would catch in your throat when you heard his car pull into the driveway. Do you remember how she would look at you, and you’d wonder how in the world you were ever lucky enough to get such a girl? Do you remember when just a look from her would make you feel like you could whip the world, and if she was watching you’d be willing to die trying? Now, instead of taking on the world for her, she can’t even get you to fix that drawer that keeps sticking.
Do you remember the time you would put in, fixing the food he liked, trying to make it just right? Now, if it can’t be microwaved he’s not getting it. What happened? Where’s the romance> Where is that feeling that used to make you break out into goose bumps?
Sadly, in many of our homes, your husband or your wife has become not much more than a roommate. The romance has died.
Some of you believe that romance, the goose bumps and all of that stuff is just for children and for the movies. It was fun while it lasted, but this is the real world. That stuff is for children and romance novels. It’s not like that in real life. Horse feathers! Love doesn’t have to die. Passion isn’t supposed to die. In Proverbs 5:18-19 we read Let thy fountain be blessed: rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always by her love. The word translated there as “ravished” in the KJV means to be intoxicated. In other words, God wants you and I to forever, in old age as in young, to be overwhelmed by the love of our spouses. Our love is never to grow cold.
Over the years, however, busyness, unforgiveness, parenting, distractions, temptation and exhaustion can cool the flames of passion; they can quench our love. How then can that excitement, that passion, that loving feeling be restored and maintained? Turn in your Bibles with me this morning to Revelation 2:1 as this morning w see together how to Rekindle the Romance.
- Read Revelation 2:1-5
I believe that the relationships we have and enjoy here on earth are designed by God to give us a picture of heavenly relationships. For instance, God gave us dads, strong, confident, protecting providers to give us an earthly picture of our heavenly Father. He ha given us brothers and sisters so we can more easily understand the relationships we are to have with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Just like our earthly brothers and sisters, we don’t get to pick our Christian brothers & sisters and though we may not always agree, we are to love and care for them.
The same is true of our marriage relationships. In the Bible, Jesus Christ is called the Bridegroom of His Bride, the church. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and gave His life for her. So the relationship we have with our spouses are supposed to reflect the relationship Christ has with the church. At the same time, our relationships, our marriages sometimes suffer from the same problems our heavenly relationships do.
In these verses, we find the Bride of Christ, a local church in Ephesus, has fallen out of love with Jesus. Though they are still married, though they still have a relationship, the love and excitement has left the relationship. Just like a grieving husband, Jesus asks, “Why don’t you love me like you used to do?”