Summary: This message deals with thre steps to help couples increase romance in the home. It is a part of my series Desperate Households.
-Romancing the Home
David Henderson Pastor, Teacher
Well, why don’t you treat me like you used to do? How come you treat me like a worn out shoe? My hair’s still curly and my eyes are still blue.
Why don’t you love me like you used to do?
Why don’t you spark me like you used to do?
And say sweet nothings like you used to do?
I’m the same old trouble that you’ve always been through,
So, why don’t you love me like you used to do?
Well, why don’t you be like you used to be?
How come you find so many faults with me?
Somebody’s changed so let me give you a clue.
Why don’t you love me like you used to do?
(Hank Williams, Why Don’t You Love Me Like You Used to Do)
Some of you recognize that old Hank Williams song. It’s aptly called why don’t you love me like you used to?” Some of you who don’t recognize the song, can recognize those feelings though. If you are like most couples, when you married, when you got together, you saw stars. ..and your only thoughts were that you wanted to stay together forever.
Guys do you remember how things started out? Your palms would start sweating at the thought of holding her hand. Do you remember how she would look at you, and you’d wonder how in the world you were ever lucky enough to get such a girl? Ladies do you remember the time you put on that first meal? Trying to make it just right? Now, if it can’t be micro-waved he’’s not getting it. What happened? Where’s the romance?
Sadly, in many of our homes today husbands and wives have become nothing more than roommates. The romance has died. Listen, Passion is not supposed to die. Love isn’t supposed to die. In Proverbs 5:18-19 we read May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.  A loving doe, a graceful deer--may she satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. The word translated there as ““ravished”” in the KJV means to be intoxicated. In other words, God wants you and I to forever, in old age as in young, to be overwhelmed by the love of our spouses. Our love is never to grow cold. But let’s be honest ...there are all kinds of tings that get in the way...work-we get too busy, we hurt each other and we choose not to apologize, we choose not to forgive...we get involved in parenting, distractions come along and just plain exhaustion can cool the flames of passion. They can put the fire of romance out in our lives. Look with me at what the Bible says we can do to rekindle the romance.
- Read Revelation 2:1-5
I believe that God’s original design for relationships was something like this.....He placed fathers here on earth to be strong, to be protectors of te family-so that we could have an earthly picture of what our heavenly father is like. He gave us brothers and sisters so that we can understand the relationships we should have with our brothers and sisters in Christ. The same is true in our marriage relationships. In the Bible, Jesus Christ is called the Bridegroom of His Bride, the church. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and gave His life for her. So the relationship we have with our spouse is supposed to reflect the relationship Christ has with the church.
But rarely is it that way. And we forget how closely related our relationship with our spouse is supposed to like our relationship with Christ.
In these verses we find a local church, the bride of Christ in Ephesus and the church has a problem...they have fallen out of love with Jesus. Though they are still married, they still have a relationship, the love and excitement have gone And just as a husband or wife who is hurting might do Jesus asks this question of the church...why don’t you love me like you used to?
In the first couple of verses Jesus praises His bride. He says I know you’re faithful. I know you haven’t wandered. You’re still holding up your end of the deal, but you’re just going through the motions and it’s as though He’s saying, I miss the old days.
Now bring this down to your marriage...is your relationship still as exciting as it was when you first met? Do you still love your souse as much as you did then? The passage also speaks to marriages and we find here some instructions for bringing romance back into our marriages.
I. We must REMEMBER - v5 we must Remember what it used to be like. Much of our marriage counseling here at Eagle’s Landing is now done by Dr. Bill VonSick. He has recently completed his Master’s degree in Biblical Counseling and so he is more qualified, that is his calling and he does a wonderful job. When I have done counseling with couples who have been married for a significant period of time...say 5-10 years or more......one of the things I attempt to do with the couple is to help them remember, to recall what their love was like when they first got married. One ting always surprises me when I do this...because for a moment neither of them can really remember what it was like. I think they don’t want to remember at that point. And it tells me that there have been so many things that have happened since then that their memory is no longer clear...the memory is still there...it has simply ben buried by years of busyness, distractions and way to much unforgiveness.