Summary: Instead of giving flowers, cards, jewelry, candy, perfume, or massages, why don't you give four things God would want you to --rekindle your passion, build up your spouse, improve your communication, and be more forgiving!


Eph. 5:25-28,33



It's interesting to find out what kids think about marriage. When asked, "How do you decide WHO to marry,"

1. Kristin, age 10, answered; "No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all, way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with!"

2. Alan, age 10; "You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like sports, and she should keep the chips and wings coming."

3. "When asked to give the right age to get married, six-year-old Freddy said, "No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married."

4. When asked if it's better to be single or married, Anita, age 9 said, "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them."

5. When asked how to make a marriage work, Ricky, 10 years old, said, "Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck."


1. Today is Valentine’s Day! February is called “the month of love” and today is the day of the year most associated with romance! Wow! Today is our second in the Burly Series and this message emphasizes that God wants us to be strong in our marriages!

2. On Valentine’s Day lovers usually buy gifts for their paramour. Many stores set up outdoor tents to make flowers (the favorite purchase) easily accessible. Other preferred gifts are Valentine’s cards, jewelry, candy, scented gifts (perfume, candles), coffee cups, gift cards, massages, etc.

3. 38 years ago today I gave Angela an engagement ring and she cooked me a heart-shaped meatloaf! Ah, love.

4. But as good as all those gifts are, God has four gifts He wants you to give your loved one this Valentine’s Day.



1. “Dear Abby: “Do all marriages go stale after 25 years? Ours has. My husband and I don’t talk much any more. We used to talk about our kids, but now they’re grown and out of the house. I have no major complaints with my husband but the old excitement is gone. We watch a lot of television. We read books. We have friends. But when we’re alone it’s pretty dull. We even sleep in separate bedrooms now. Is there way to recapture the old magic? Signed, The Song Has Ended.”

2. That’s sad. It makes me think of that old Righteous Brother’s song, “You’ve lost that loving feeling. Woah, that loving feeling. You’ve lost that loving feeling. Now it’s gone, gone, gone. Wo-Wo-ah.” In fact, Reader’s Digest reports that the number one question that people ask marriage counselors is “What happened to these feelings? Why don’t we love each other the way we used to? Why did this happen to us?”

3. What do you do when your marriage loses its spark? Is it something inevitable that can’t be helped? Or is there a way to light that fire again?

4. Part of it is that marital satisfaction varies over the life of the marriage, hitting a low spot when the kids are teenagers. After the kids move out it can climb higher than earlier.

[see the following graph of marital satisfaction:]


1. Do you remember how much attention you used to give your spouse before you were married? The hours you spent talking? The notes you wrote? The Friday night dates? The way you used to go out of your way to make her happy? You need to start doing that stuff again!

2. ILLUS. A tornado hit a Kansas farmhouse just before dawn one morning. It tore off the roof and picked up the bed on which the farmer and his wife were sleeping. By some miracle, the tornado set them down, unharmed, the next county over.

3. The wife was sobbing uncontrollably. "Don’t be scared, Martha," her husband consoled, "We’re not hurt." Martha continued to cry. "I’m not scared," she said between sobs. "I’m happy... this is the first time we’ve been out together in 14 years."


1. In revelation 2:4 Jesus tells the Bride of Christ (the church at Ephesus) that she has fallen out of love with Him. Like a grieving husband, Jesus asks, “Why don’t you love Me like you used to do?”

2. He says something like, “I know you’re faithful; I know you haven’t wandered. I know how you’ve worked. You’re still holding up your end of the deal, but you’re just going through the motions. The spark is gone from your eye and the excitement has left your voice. I miss the old days!” The Jesus gives the remedy: “Remember, Repent, Repeat.”

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