Summary: Holding to biblical standards of sexual purity is spiritually, morally and physically wise.

Title: The Birds and The Bees

Text: Proverbs 5:3-14, 20-23; 6:23-24, 27-29, 32-34

Truth: Holding to biblical standards of sexual purity is spiritually, morally, and physically wise.

Aim: to encourage biblical sexual purity.

Life ?: How can we hold to biblical standards of sexual purity?


On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”

He continued: “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?”

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: “How much for a season pass?”

Sex is a powerful force. The advertisers harness it to sell everything from toothpaste to footwear. It has lead to war and peace between peoples. Sex has the power to build a nation into greatness when it is handled properly, or to lead a nation to destruction, when it is not. It’s the source of the big social debates in our day: abortion, homosexuality, same-sex marriages, and sexual abuse.

I’m not trying to impose a rigid, severe and passionless moral code. Nor am I promoting the freewheeling, irresponsibility of liberalism. What we need is a clear understanding of the biblical standards of sexual purity.

Frankly, as a father of four daughters I was uncomfortable talking to them about the birds and bees. I passed that responsibility off to James Dobson. I bought his book Preparing for Adolescents and had the girls read it. But we can no longer ignore this subject. We must talk about it.

Our universities cowardly hide behind the claim that a nineteen year old is now an adult, and they can’t impose on their freedoms. They will be held responsible for their negligence. Hollywood sneers at the idea of sexual purity and treats sex as normal as going to the bathroom. They have no respect or awe of this gift from God. Regardless of what they believe, holding to the biblical standards of sexual purity is physically, morally, and spiritually wise.

How can we hold to the biblical standards of sexual purity?


Solomon is honest about the desirability of impurity (v. 3), but he goes on to speak about it leading to disenchantment (v. 4) and ultimately sexual impurity ends in death (v. 5-6). It starts off delightful but ends up disgusting. Lust leads to loathing and the loss of life.

A. Desirability (v.3)

The “adulteress” is literally the “other woman,” e.g. someone other than a man’s wife. A man is to be intimate only with his wife.

How does she seduce her victim? She speaks words of flattery. She appeals to his ego. This is what we mean when we speak of “sweet talkers” or “smooth talkers.”

The theme song of this “sweet talker” is “If loving you is wrong then I don’t ever want to be right.” The “sweet talker,” whether found in magazines, movies, or in person, deceive victims into thinking that sexual indulgence is healthy, normal, youthful and produces happiness. It is a lie.

The “smooth talker” says, “If you love me you’ll sacrifice your purity on the altar of my lust.” “We’re soon to be married. What’s a piece of paper?” We should have a trial live in relationship to see if we are compatible.” It makes sense to superficial thinkers, but it hides the real motives. Those are not acts of real love. Sexual indulgence reveals we have been deceived by a lie.

B. Disenchantment (v. 4)

Solomon says to his son “in the end she’s as bitter as wormwood and as a sharp…” (v.4). One of the repeated admonishments of Proverbs is to look down the road and see where our decisions will take us. Is it good or bad? Nothing can be judged by its first stage. Many have thought they met the man of their dreams only to learn he was their worst nightmare. Sexual sin is a crime of the moment. It is not thinking about the future.

What begins as delicious ends disgusting. Even mild unchastity leaves a bitter aftertaste to the conscience; the sword shows there is more disenchantment to be faced. It reinforces the idea that grief is the end result of an immoral relationship. If impurity was so satisfying, then Hollywood would be the happiest place on earth instead of one of the most miserable.

C. Death (v. 5,6)

Verses 5 and 6 speak of the devastating and deadly consequences of sexual impurity. Of course, in our day sexual sin can result in a death sentence. The headline to an article in The Daily Oklahoman read “11 AIDS Cases Traced to 1 Man” (11/23/89). “Eleven women, most of them well-educated and middle-class, caught the AIDS virus from the same man, demonstrating the potential hazards of sexual relationships even for those at seemingly low risk of AIDS.” Women, did you know that sexual promiscuity takes a heavier toll on you than it does men? You are more susceptible to STD than men, for example. A woman is eight times more likely than a man to contract HIV from a single sexual encounter and four times more likely to get gonorrhea when exposed. Women are also more likely to suffer serious damage, such as sterility or cervical cancer, from STDs (Linda Chavez, Girls Behaving Badly).

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Steven Hanchett

commented on Sep 6, 2006

Good job as always Ed.

Aida Lopez

commented on Apr 5, 2009

What a blessed sermon. I plan to use it for my young girls ministry at my church. Glory be to God, I was looking for this type of material to present to my girls. Thank you

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