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Summary: The Elder needs to have a good family relationship


The qualifications for a leader in God’s church start long before the man is of the proper age to be an Elder. These are things that we work on our of our lives so that we can serve God’s church as Elders. One day Bill and John will not be here to do the job and we will need a new generation of men to be ready to lead God’s church in Leonard into the future.

The qualifications are important, they were given by inspiration from God Himself.



The next few messages are not just for the men, they are for all in the church.

1. Older Men

2. Young men

3. Married Women

4. Single women.

Today we will look and the Elder’s relationship to His family. The home is the proving ground for the man. EXPLAIN.



I. The husband of one wife. USE HUSBAND OF ONE WIFE TRANS.

A. Literally a one woman man.

B. What about the divorced man?

1) Before conversion?

2) Scriptural divorce? (adultery, abandonment) (1 Cor 7, Matt. 5:32)

3) Widower who remarries.

C. Conclusion

1) A Christian who divorces his wife disqualifies himself.

2) A Widower who remarries is still a “one woman man”.

3) A Scriptural divorce or a pre-conversion divorcee is up to the individual church.

II. The Elder’s wife. 1 Timothy 3:11 (quickview) 

A. Her character is important also. The verse either refers to the wife of the Elder and Deacon, or to a Deaconess (Romans 16:1 (quickview)  Phoebe)

B. Dignified. Worthy of respect. Honorable.

C. Not Malicious gossips

D. Temperate. Sober, self-controlled. Mentally and spiritually balanced.

E. Faithful in all things. Loyal to God and family.


I. Manages his house well. USE RULING OWN HOUSE WELL TRANS.

A. Govern or manage.

B. Have an active part in the home as the spiritual leader.

C. The Christian wife will want to encourage her husband to take his place as leader of the home. The word manage also implies that he does it in such a manner that the rest of the family enjoys his leadership.

D. EPH 6:4 And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

1) Fathers who are never home cannot do this.

2) Fathers are responsible for the home, we must not let our children point to us and say that we are the reason that they don’t love God.

3) AS fathers, we want to give such an example that we would be proud of our children imitating us.

E. The Elder is told to manage his house well, because if he can’t he can do the work of elder in the church either. The home is the testing ground.

F. Young fathers need to learn this now.

THE ELDER AND HIS CHILDREN 1 TIM 3:4, TITUS 1:6 (quickview) 

I. Elders must keep their children under control with all dignity.

A. This does not mean that we beat the children into submission, but instead that we discipline or train them with all dignity, honor and respect both toward our children and ourselves.

B. Our children will be under control even when they are not in our sight, not because they are scared to death, but because they love their father enough that they do not want to displease him.

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