Summary: Deal with sin WITH God's help. Understand the need for confession, for correction, and for change of our ways of living. All of these Cs can only come through Christ.
Sin does not just affect the person who sin. It affects those around them.
• A husband who sin affects his wife and children, the child who sin hurts his parents, a pastor who sin devastates the church, a leader who sin messes up the nation…
• Sin contaminates everything around. It infects and pollutes.
David might be a good king after all, but he failed miserably as a husband and a father. He had many wives and that created problems.
• Deut 17:17 - the King “must not take many wives, or his heart will be led astray.”
• 2 Sam 12:11 - the Lord said calamity will come upon his own household.
David has 8 wives: Michal, Ahinoam, Abigail, Maacah, Haggith, Abital, Eglah, Bathsheba.
AMNON (firstborn) is the son of Ahinoam (cf 2 Sam 3:3). TAMAR is his half-ssiter, daughter of Maacah. Her full-brother is ABSALOM (third-born)
JONADAB is David’s brother Shimeah’s son, so he is Amnon’s cousin.
2 Sam 13:1-5
13:1 In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David. 2 Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.
3 Now Amnon had a friend named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David's brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. 4 He asked Amnon, "Why do you, the king's son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won't you tell me?" Amnon said to him, "I'm in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister."
5 "Go to bed and pretend to be ill," Jonadab said. "When your father comes to see you, say to him, `I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand.'"
JONADAB is a very shrewd man (13:3), crafty, clever but in the bad sense.
• Not only did he not dissuade him from such a sinful thought, he suggested a plan for him to get what he wants (13:3-5).
2 Sam 13:6-9
6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, "I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight, so I may eat from her hand."
7 David sent word to Tamar at the palace: "Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him." 8 So Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon, who was lying down. She took some dough, kneaded it, made the bread in his sight and baked it.
It’s quite obvious that David gave little attention to raising of his sons. They lived with their respective mothers and in different places.
• He did not play the role of a father in the family. He made a special visit to see his eldest son, Amnon, who pretended to be very sick.
• Bought in to the plan, he asked his father to permit Tamar to come to him.
Amnon, and probably many of David’s sons, are likely spoiled, being of the royal family. They get what they want and rarely denied of anything they asked for.
2 Sam 13:10-14
9 Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat. "Send everyone out of here," Amnon said. So everyone left him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, "Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand." And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. 11 But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, "Come to bed with me, my sister."
12 "Don't, my brother!" she said to him. "Don't force me. Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don't do this wicked thing. 13 What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you." 14 But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.
Amnon behaved just like his father did in chapter 12. We do not know how much was influenced by his dad’s bad example.
• Studies show us that we learn only 1% through taste, 1.5% through touch, 3.5% through smell, 11% through hearing, and 83% through sight.
• We learn mainly from what we see.
Amnon sought to gratify his lust and schemed his way into getting Tamar into his room. It was unthinkable but he was determined to get what he wants.