Summary: What makes a marriage work? How do families in your congregation keep it together and avoid divorce? In this presentation, I interviewed 6 different couples in our church and exposed the strengths and weaknesses we all have in keeping a marriage together?
For the Valentine’s Day Weekend, in place of a sermon we held an interview on stage with 3 of our solid couples from the congregation (3 in each of our two services). Since the Apostle Paul told Timothy and Titus that Elders must be good husbands and fathers we believe there’s a high value in upholding solid marriages before the rest of the congregation.
The stage was set up with 6 chairs and 3 mikes to be used by the participants. I stood off to one side as I asked the questions. The questions were chosen ahead of time and shared with the couples (so they would have time to consider their answers) and I started each question with a different couple.
The first service consists mainly of older families and individuals so the 3 couples chosen for that worship time were about their age. However, the 2nd service consists of a wide range of age groups and so I selected a couple in their mid-20s (married for 6 years), another couple in their 40s and a third couple in their 70’s. Two of the couples in the first service were Elders and their wives, one of the couples in the 2nd service was an Elder and his wife.
The questions listed below yielded interesting insights. Not all of them prayed together regularly (they admitted with a bit of embarrassment), all admitted to having had rough patches in their marriages and the topic of discussing divorce popped up in at least one couple in each service. They all credited their faith and the power of God as the primary reasons why their marriages held together.
The beauty of this setting was that it exposed the reality that marriage isn't easy even for Christians… and that by looking to God and being faithful to church, these families held out and were blessed by God.
I had the following 11 questions on my sheet, and asked 10 of those questions in each service (skipping one of the questions as I felt was best in each setting). It made for a little over 30 minutes of time, or about the length of one of my sermons.
• When did you become a Christian?
• What do you do together for fun
• What does your spouse do for you that you really appreciate?
• Do you pray together regularly?
• What has been the biggest blessing God has given you as a couple?
• How has your faith affected your relationship?
• What has been the biggest challenge in your marriage?
• What one thing (or things) have you done to make your marriage stronger?
• If you could do anything for God as a couple… what would it be?
• How do you handle conflicts in your family?
• What is the best advice you could give a couple who want to get married?