Summary: God Speaks to us in the Language of love. We just have to read the signs, and He hung one on the Cross that tells us everything that we need to know.
The Language of Love
February 11, 2003
I. When I got married I had to learn a new language. Actually I had
to learn several new languages, but I think the most important one was
the language that had no language.
A. I had to learn to read the signs. Now I would think that I
would not have had any problem with that, after all I am a hunter, and
one of the first things that you have to learn as a hunter is to read
B. You have to learn to find where the deer travel and what there
habits are and I had learned all that a long time ago, but that didn’t
help with this new sign reading that was having to learn.
C. Guys let me tell you that learning to the non verbal
communication of your wife is a thing that will help you in ways that
you never imagined. I am sorry to say that I still have a long way to
D. Let face it for men it is a challenge to learn the verbal
communication of women, if you don’t believe me let me give you some
E. The Women’s Dictionary
1. "Fine" This is the word women use at the end of any
argument when they feel they are right but can’t stand to hear you argue
any longer. It means that you should Be quiet. (NEVER use "fine" to
describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one of those
2. "Five minutes" This is half an hour. It is equivalent to
the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you
take out the trash, so women feel that it’s an even trade.
3. "Nothing" Nothing" means something and you should be on
your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has
of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing"
usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with
the word "Fine."
4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows) THIS IS NOT AN
INDICATION OF PERMISSION OR AGREEMENT; it’s a dare! If you mistake ! it
for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over
"Nothing" and you’ll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with
the word "Fine."
5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows) THIS IS NOT AN INDICATION OF
PERMISSION OR AGREEMENT, either. It means "I give up" or "do what you
want because I don’t care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in
just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk
to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
6. "Loud Sigh" This is not actually a word, but is still
often a verbal statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud
Sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is
wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing!."
7. "Soft Sigh" Again, not a word, but a verbal statement.
"Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually
understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not
move ! or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer
Maybe even FIVE MINUTES.
8. "Oh" This word -- followed by any statement - is trouble.
Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you
were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not
walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when
she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her
to talk to you for at least two days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence
usually signifies that you are caught, and in trouble. Do not try to lie
to get out of it, or you will get a raised eyebrow. "Go ahead,"
sometimes followed by acts so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to
speak about them.
9. "That’s Okay" This is one of the most dangerous statements
that a woman can say to a man. "That’s Okay" means that she wants to
think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for
whatever you have done. "That’s Okay" is often used with the word "Fine"
and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had
time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.
10. "Please Do" This is not a statement, it is an offer. The
woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you