The Preachers Kid And You
Contributed by Tim Bartee on Sep 14, 2002 (message contributor)
Summary: How does the congregation relate to the PK? As a pastor do you ever stop and put yourself in your kid’s shoes? This message has specifics that answer bith these questions.
The PK (Preacher’s Kid) and You
Have you ever had one of those days where it seemed that nothing goes your way? Recently I was having one of those kind of days until I heard the testimony of a pastor who shared the story of his daughter and son.
His daughter, at the age of six, was struck by an automobile and her condition was declared hopeless. But through prayer, after several weeks in a coma, she completely recovered. The doctors said she would never marry or have children. Today, she is married and has a healthy son. He proceeded to tell the story of how later in life his son, at the age of 15, was tragically killed while helping out with a maintenance project at the church. He was crawling under the stage to help move a microphone cord when he accidentally touched a metal conduit and a metal air conditioning duct. The conduit was not grounded properly and he died instantly from the electrical shock. I cannot imagine the devastation and grief this family. I then realized that my problems were insignificant in comparison to what many people are facing. By God’s grace and the comfort of the Holy Spirit this pastor has continued successfully in ministry with his family.
After hearing this testimony my mind immediately went to all the hours my children have worked around the church helping out with whatever needs to be done. The life of a PK (Preacher’s Kid) is not always what one would expect. I had both the responsibility and privilege to be raised as a PK. Now as a pastor I have four PK’s living in my home. Sometimes I forget what it was like to be the son of the preacher.
Our adversary realizes the damage that can be done by bringing down the leadership in the church. Often he goes to our most sensitive spot, our family. He also realizes the potential that lies within the PK and will do all he can to hinder their future. Therefore we must do all we can to prevent the enemy from doing harm to our pastor or his family.
My message to the congregation:
1. Do not place unrealistic expectations on the PK. Unfortunately most people expect the PK to wear a halo over their head 24/7. “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” (This includes the PK.) How often has a phrase like this been said, “Can you believe what the PK did.” I’ve never heard anyone say, “Did hear what the plumber’s kid did.” The PK will fail from time to time and what a great opportunity the congregation has to show them that the body of Christ is truly what dad preaches. I’m afraid to say it, but this article will probably not change the expectations that many have of the PK. Therefore, we the parents should share with our children the expectations we have for them and that those expectations are based on God’s expectations for all of us.
2. Do not under appreciate the PK or take them for granted. Few realize the unseen labor that the PK does on a regular basis for the ministry of the church. I’m not talking about a few moments here and their, I’m talking about true sacrifice. I have been blessed to remain in the same location for the past 14 years but many have not had that experience. Often the ministry involves relocating, which means a new school, new friends, new house and etc.
3. Never use the PK to deliver messages to the preacher that you do not have the courage to bring yourself. It is difficult for the pastor to keep the perplexities of ministry from the eyes of his children.
We must do all we can to keep their hearts pure from the “politics” and divisiveness that may occur in ministry. Let the innocent remain innocent, leave the PK out of our adult problems.
4. Be careful not to pressure the PK into an area of ministry that they may not be called by God to fulfill. I recently spoke to a pastor who had a son after having only daughters. He commented that numerous people came to him and said, “Now, you got your preacher.” I’m sure he felt that if God called him to be a preacher that it would be wonderful, but if not he desires his son to be a man that will stand behind the man of God.
My Message to the preacher: (Ask yourself these questions)
1. How much time to do I set aside for one on one time with my children?
2. How often do we pray for and with our children?
3. Do I listen closely when they talk with me?