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Summary: This message addresses some of the primary issues facing troubled marriages today. It was a follow up to a message called "Marriage that Goes the Distance" that I did the preceding week.

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Top Ten Marriage Killers

Communication in marriage can be a challenge can’t it? You only have to be married five minutes to know what I am talking about. That’s due in part to the fact that men and women speak two entirely different languages.

Last Sunday’s message was on Marriage that Goes the Distance. It takes a lot of hard work, commitment, and dedication to make a marriage work.

Last week we honored a number of couples in our church who had been married from 50-65 years. It was a special day. Did you see their picture in the paper this week? Let’s give them another big hand. They are the pacesetters. Thank you!

We know that God’s standard for marriage is one man and one woman for life. We talked about the fact that marriage is not just about finding the right mate, it is about being the right mate and I gave you ten characteristics relationships that go the distance. Let’s do a quick review…

1. Christ is central.

2. Unconditional Love.

3. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

4. Commitment.

5. A significant investment of quality and quantity time.

6. Healthy communication.

7. A commitment to growth. You will either grow up or you will grow apart.

8. Effective conflict resolution.

9. Physical intimacy.

10. Have fun!

This morning I want to outline what I believe are the Top Ten Marriage Killers.

Before we get into that I can tell that some of you are disappointed today. Last Sunday the ladies on the praise team sang the old Tammy Wynnette song, “Stand by Your Man” before the message. It seemed like that song blessed more people than any song I have heard in a while. I was surprised by that.

I knew some of you would be looking forward to another country song before this morning’s message, and even though we didn’t have a song to sing, a friend shared some good country song titles with me. Since this week was the CMA awards down in Nashville, I thought it was only appropriate that we mention a few country songs that talk about relationships, but that didn’t receive any recognition in Nashville this week.

Country Song Titles:

How can I miss you when you won’t go way?

If the phone doesn’t ring you’ll know it’s me.

If I’d shot you when I wanted to, at least I’d be out by now.

If you won’t leave me alone, I’ll find someone who will.

Take me out to the cornfield honey, and I’ll kiss you between the ears.

I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.

I’m sorry I made you cry, but at least your face is cleaner.

If my nose was running money, I’d blow it all on you.

It’s obvious that marriage killers have to be avoided in order to have a marriage that will go the distance. Some of the positive things that I spoke to you about last week will resurface today as potential hazards to your marriage if handled improperly.

I want to invite you to do a little personal evaluation as I outline these ten points.

ASK - Where are we strong? Where are we weak? What area(s) need attention?

My hope is that you will go home and talk about these things with your mate. I sincerely hope you won’t leave church and forget about it. Talk about these things and see to it that you give your marriage the attention that it needs in order to flourish and grow.


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Scott Coburn

commented on Jun 17, 2008

Amen! This is an excellent listing based on my experience also - as both a minister and a former practicing lawyer in domestic law.

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