Summary: Keys to a successful marriage

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To Love, Honor, and Obey?

Ephesians 5: 21-28

What is the Primary Source of problems in the Marriage?

As Paul wrote these words family life in the Roman Empire was in a shambles, divorce and adultery were running rampant and marriage was in danger of a complete and utter breakdown.

Men didn’t want to be leaders and women didn’t want to be lead.

The Call to Mutual Submission

“Submitting to one another in the fear of God.

A lot of the problems that arise concerning the passage we are going to consider this morning is the tendency to begin at verse 22 instead of verse 21 where Paul says that the husband and wives both are to “submit to one another in the fear of Christ.”

Most of the problems in application of doctrine of submission have to do with the fact that we wrongly interpret this a struggle over power in the marriage relationship –“Who’s in charge, the husband or the wife?” – the answer is, Neither! The correct answer to the question is, that Jesus is to be in charge. He is to be the head! He is to be the head of every marriage just as he is head of the church.


I Submission is Mutual


II Submission is based on assigned roles not inherit worth

I Peter 3:7

7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

III Submission is a Part of Gods creative order

Genesis 2:18

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Men need women

Seek input-counsel

“Mutual submission means … that decisions are made by both partners for unselfish reasons. When disagreement occurs, the husband does not automatically have the deciding vote. In such cases, one partner may grant the other person’s choice or both may agree to reject both options.”

IV Submission is voluntary

Not the dating relationship

Only when you choose to marry

I cor. 11:3

3 Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God

Christ is the example

Philippians2: 6 Who, being in very naturea God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,

7 but made himself nothing, taking the very natureb of a servant, being made in human likeness.

8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!

Jesus equal in the Trinity submitted Himself to the authority and will of God the father He willing submits to the will of God

If the man that you are dating is not one that you are able to submit too then do not marry Him

I’m not saying don’t marry Him at all -----don’t marry him until you can

Ladies if you are not willing to submit to the leadership of a man do not get married

IV Submission is limited

This submission has natural limits when it considered in the light of the last phrase, “as unto the Lord.” God certainly does not expect a Christian wife to do unscriptural things out of submission to her unsaved husband.

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