Summary: Keys to a successful marriage

To Love, Honor, and Obey?

Ephesians 5: 21-28

What is the Primary Source of problems in the Marriage?

As Paul wrote these words family life in the Roman Empire was in a shambles, divorce and adultery were running rampant and marriage was in danger of a complete and utter breakdown.

Men didn’t want to be leaders and women didn’t want to be lead.

The Call to Mutual Submission

“Submitting to one another in the fear of God.

A lot of the problems that arise concerning the passage we are going to consider this morning is the tendency to begin at verse 22 instead of verse 21 where Paul says that the husband and wives both are to “submit to one another in the fear of Christ.”

Most of the problems in application of doctrine of submission have to do with the fact that we wrongly interpret this a struggle over power in the marriage relationship –“Who’s in charge, the husband or the wife?” – the answer is, Neither! The correct answer to the question is, that Jesus is to be in charge. He is to be the head! He is to be the head of every marriage just as he is head of the church.


I Submission is Mutual


II Submission is based on assigned roles not inherit worth

I Peter 3:7

7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

III Submission is a Part of Gods creative order

Genesis 2:18

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Men need women

Seek input-counsel

“Mutual submission means … that decisions are made by both partners for unselfish reasons. When disagreement occurs, the husband does not automatically have the deciding vote. In such cases, one partner may grant the other person’s choice or both may agree to reject both options.”

IV Submission is voluntary

Not the dating relationship

Only when you choose to marry

I cor. 11:3

3 Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God

Christ is the example

Philippians2: 6 Who, being in very naturea God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,

7 but made himself nothing, taking the very natureb of a servant, being made in human likeness.

8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!

Jesus equal in the Trinity submitted Himself to the authority and will of God the father He willing submits to the will of God

If the man that you are dating is not one that you are able to submit too then do not marry Him

I’m not saying don’t marry Him at all -----don’t marry him until you can

Ladies if you are not willing to submit to the leadership of a man do not get married

IV Submission is limited

This submission has natural limits when it considered in the light of the last phrase, “as unto the Lord.” God certainly does not expect a Christian wife to do unscriptural things out of submission to her unsaved husband.

Acts 5:3

1 In its sphere

Not all men everywhere

Biblically two places - Church and Home

2 Scope

Everything the Husband asks

A) Blatantly Immoral

Forbid going to church

Physical abuse

Acts 5:29“We must obey God rather than men!

It the request violates the principles of scripture

VI Submission is encouraged by Example not by Coercion

Perhaps no scripture is quoted during arguments more than this one.

But men I want you to notice that nowhere does it say, “Husband, tell your wives to submit.” Instead Paul speaks to husbands and wives individually and asks each of them to work on their own attitudes.

Wives learn to submit to their husbands from watching their husbands submit to the Lord. It should go with out saying that any man, who does not love and submit himself to the Lord, has no right to expect that his wife will submit herself to him.

So ultimately if your wife is not submissive to you it may be your fault, because you are not more submissive to Christ.

The reasons wives may not be submitting maybe because she has no example

I think that it is intriguing to note that only 3½ verses are devoted to the wives duties to their husbands where as 8½ verses address the husband’s role

Leadership is a responsibility to be exercised

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