Summary: leadership, love, loyalty

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What Every Husband Owes His Wife

Ephesians 5:25-33

The Christian home should be like a symphony - harmonious. And the only way that is possible is by doing it God's way, each playing our own part.

Last time we saw how wives should submit, because it is scriptural, sensible, and satisfying. Today, it's the guys' turn.

In the life time of some in this room, the divorce rate was as low as 1 in 7. By the 60s it was 1 in 4. It wasn't long before it was 1 in 2, and then you have America today, where divorces far outnumber marriages every year!

What starts out as the ideal turns into an ordeal and then somebody is looking for a new deal.

Too bad, because marriage is supposed to be a taste of heaven on earth...the closest thing to paradise this world can know. It's a picture of our relationship with Christ!

ill.--Spurgeon said when a Christian home is done right angels would feel at home in it.

The devil knows that if he can hurt the home he can hurt us everywhere, from home to church to nation to world! And according to God, it all begins with dad. No wonder the devil levels his artillery until the man of the house is dead in his sights!

The Bible not only tells us what to do and how to do it and where to get the power to do it...but then it draws us a picture so we can't miss the main message. Perhaps God knew men would be slower than women and infinitely hard headed.

In this picture we have Jesus, and His bride, the church. And whatever Christ is to the church is what we men are to be to our wives. What Jesus gave for the church I'm supposed to give to my wife.

And so, men, we owe our wives:

1. Godly leadership.

Jesus is the leader of the church, and men ought to lead their the right way.

Leadership is not dictatorship. That's what we see now in Syria.

It's not coercion. Jesus doesn't make the church obey Him. "I will serve thee because I love thee."

Leadership is not domination. Some guys try to use their Bibles to beat their wife into submission. Not cool. You cannot subdue anyone into submission, because by definition, submission is voluntary.

Submission of a woman is to be in response to loving leadership on the part of the husband.

I get a kick out of these guys who say headship of the home is their Biblical right. Actually, it's something to earn - like respect.

ill.--'traffic rights'. We all have our rights on the roads...but if you force the issue, it might mean death! [the quick and the dead]

Tombstone: "Here lies the body of Jerry Ray, who refused to give up his right of way, he was right dead right as he traveled along, but just as dead as if he was wrong!"

If you demand submission, you won't have it, and you might get yourself killed!

We have Christian men today trying to be the boss of their home instead of the loving leader of their home.

v. 23 'head' does not mean boss.

ill.--Gordon Selveridge built huge department stores in England by being a leader, and not a boss. He said, "A boss drives men, a leader coaches them. The boss depends upon authority, the leader good will. The boss inspires fear, the leader enthusiasm. The boss says I, the leader says we. The boss fixes blame for breakdowns, the leader fixes breakdowns. The boss knows how it is done, the leader SHOWS how it is done. The boss says go, the leader says let's go."

It's the difference between cornering someone and getting them in your corner.

In a harmonious home, dad is to be the leader of the band, and he is responsible for all. And if someone is out of step, it is likely his fault! Not always, but most often problems are caused by the man not providing the right leadership in the home.

Eve may have sinned, but God came looking for Adam!

The main problem in our homes today isn't insubmissive wives, but husbands w/ warped views on leadership or no leadership at all.

Remember how Jesus settled the disciples' dispute over who is most important? By putting on an apron, bending over, and washing their stinking feet!

Headship isn't a chain of's a chain of responsibility and service. Leadership isn't having others cater to your needs, but rather meeting the needs of other people.

Some of us need to go home and wash our wives' feet, figuratively, or maybe literally! We do so by apologizing, by learning, by improving, and by leading in love!

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