Respectable Sins – Self-Control
How often have you had someone say to you ‘He who is without sin cast the first stone?’ Or maybe you have someone say to you ‘Judge not lest you be judged?’ I reckon they must two verses which are most often taken out of their context and misapplied. The second quote, from Matthew 7, must easily be thee most misapplied verse in the NT. Certainly that is my experience when you challenge someone about sin. This sermon series is all about sin and I want to say right up front I am as guilty of the sins we will deal with in this series as anyone else. So I am not standing up here beyond conviction. You know if you had been reading the media over the past few years, decades even, you would believe that Christians are only really interested in sexual sins, or abortion or what we seem to see as the major sins of our society. It would appear that we have lost sight of our own more subtle sins or more ‘refined’ sins. It is impossible for us to cover all the subtle sins that we face and which have become acceptable and respectable in the church, in HTW. This series will be challenging for us all. You may well feel ‘got at’ and there may be occasions when you feel really uncomfortable in your seat – I don’t want you to dismiss such feelings but to take on board that maybe, just maybe, the Holy Spirit is applying God’s Word to an area of your life where ‘respectable sins’ have gained a foothold and it needs to be dealt with. So this sermon series comes with a ‘spiritual health warning’ right at the very beginning. Listening to this sermon series may seriously improve your spiritual life – a big claim but I pray one which will be true in all our lives.
The story is told about an old farmer who after 40 years of married life decided he should take his wife out for the day. They were driving past Aldergrove when he saw a sign offering flights over the countryside. He pulled the car in and inquired how much the flights were. £20 per person and being a typical farmer he started to haggle for £20 for 2 people. The pilot eventually said: “if neither of you utter a word during the flight it will be £20 but one word and it will be £20 each.” The farmer agreed and the pilot pulled all these acrobatic stunts during the flight but not one word did he hear. They land at Aldergrove and he turns to the farmer and said: “That was amazing self-control, some of those stunts had me frightened.” The farmer replied: “Ah, but I nearly said something when the wife fell out the door.”
Now is that what you think of as self-control? Let me read a verse to you from Proverbs 25.28. Defining self-control is not that easy. The word in Scripture is ‘enkratiah’ which has at its root the word for ‘strength.’ In Scripture ‘self-control’ speaks of keeping one self in check, ‘one who holds on to himself’ and someone who does not live in bondage to anyone or anything. Such a person has reined in their passions, their desires and have curbed their appetites. The word self-control in Scripture contains within it the understanding the means to heal, to save and to make whole. It is the ability to live in this world but not to have your garments spoiled or soiled by this world. Yet are these words not our dilemma – Romans 7.18? Do you not find that to be true of yourself on so many occasions? But let us come back for a brief moment to the verse from Proverbs. In the ANE the main source of strength and protection were the walls of a city. That is why we read in Nehemiah 1.3 of the shame felt over the walls of Jerusalem lying in ruins. A gap in the wall was considered a breach or lapse in security and a city in such a state of disrepair had a shameful reputation. Such a city was open to attack and destruction. The writer of Proverbs says that if a man lacks self-control is like a city whose walls are destroyed – such a man is defenceless before his passions/desires and the ways of this world. Such a man has no means of defence because he cannot resist the things that will destroy his life. The occupants of a city who neglected the walls were considered lazy, weak and foolish. Let me ask you this morning: “Is there a hole in your wall that allows loss of self-control to squeeze through time and time again? Take a walk along the wall of your life this morning. Your emotions, attitudes, relationships, addictions and temptations – list the holes and the spots of decay in your wall. Does it make uncomfortable surveying?
The reading we had from 1 Corinthians might have seemed a strange reading in connection with self-control. The church at Corinth was a church where self-control was a rarity. We know from the two letters that Paul wrote to them that they were a church were sensuality, desires and passions ran riot. It is into that situation that Paul writes to them that ‘everything is permissible…’ but ‘everything’ did not mean ‘everything’ because a little earlier in the letter he has outlined behaviour and ways of life that were not acceptable to God and he describes the Corinthians in the past tense : “such were some of you…” Paul then tells them that some things are not beneficial, constructive or helpful. Nothing in their lives should have mastery over them. It seems strange that if they know the food is sacrificed to idols they are not to eat it but if they don’t they can – why? Paul knew that there is a progression in the compromise. Food sacrificed to idols may appear trivial and insignificant but it is the start of losing self-control by compromise and eventually if you look at verse 20 this is where it ends up – partners with demons. You see Paul will not accept from the believers at Corinth – ‘everyone else is doing it’ nor will he accept ‘this is the way that I am?’ He will not allow them to put the cruise control on in their Christian life but wants them to keep ‘self-control’ on all the time. Cruise control is nice on the car. I have it on the Bora. It is wonderful on motorways but you know without self-control is useless and potentially disastrous. You should not use it in the wet or rain as it can cause tyres to spin when they hit standing water and you could have an accident. You know too many Christians have ‘cruise control’ on their spiritual lives. Cruising along and every Sunday they give God a wave, just so their conscience doesn’t bother them too much the rest of the week. You on cruise control this morning?
Allow me to read another few verses to you – Galatians 5.17 and 5.22ff. Here is where the battle for self-control is fought and won – in the inner life of a man. Your mind is the thinking function of your heart. It is with your mind that you do the battle for self-control. Let me say to you this morning this has nothing to do with will power, nor with determination but it is all about the Truth, about discipline and obedience. Self-control is not about Power – it is about Truth. This morning if you are a Christian believer then you have the fruit of ‘self-control’ in your life – God has promised it as a fruit of the Holy Spirit in your life – do you believe the Truth of God’s Word or not?
If we believe it is about power then we will fail because we do not have the strength to succeed each time. When we rely on will power and determination we inevitably fail and that failure pushes us further down and we give up instead. We need the Truth. The Truth that we have an available resource (resurrection power) but we also need the Truth that it is not a guarantee of an applied resource. Let me explain this to you:
God has given us the gift of his Holy Spirit – resurrection power. That is the Truth. It is an available resource. However, we are to co-operate and work with God in applying that resource to our lives. You see self-control is a heart issue in our lives. Read Mark 7.15 – what is in your heart will come out of your mouth. If you see white smoke coming out of the car exhaust – what do you do? Do you replace the exhaust or get someone to look at the engine? The exhaust only reveals the problem it is not itself the problem.
You have no self-control with gossip – which reveals that at your heart level you have malice and envy and no self-control over them.
You blow up very easily, you are quick tempered – reveals that your problem is hatred, rage and bitterness of heart and you have no self-control over them.
You have a problem with sex or pornography – reveals the problem is lust and you have no self-control in that area.
I could go on but I wont. The base sin in all these is Pride which is in fact idolatry. It is the self first. We live in a world of instant satisfaction and gratification and we are thee most self-centred generation. You know it has even infiltrated into the Christian church. Read the words of many modern hymns/choruses – how man centred they are. Look at the shelves of a Christian bookstore and see how man centred they are. Watch the God channels on TV – all man centred.
Self-control is a common issue – you are not alone - ~Romans 7.19-21. But to say it is a common issue is not the same as saying that it is okay to do as you please. It is not acceptable for a Christian believer to say ‘but this is how I am.’ You cannot justify your lack of self-control. Do not shift personal responsibility or seek to shift the blame for lack of self-control. God has given you the Holy Spirit but you must yield and co-operate with Him. It is not a passive thing. Christ has broken the power of sin in your life but you still live in a sinful world and sin still wages war in your inner life. The Holy Spirit focuses your soul on Christ – you have to focus your mind on Christ – Hebrews 1.1-2 and Psalm 42.1.
Self-control is a Daily Issue – 2 Corinthians 4.16.
Practical Advice
2 Peter 1.13-16 – a ready mind. What is your mind filled with each day? Is it a diet of soap-operas, unrealistic fantasies, glossy magazines with airbrushed models and unachievable expectations? Is the Truth of God’s Word applied to your mind? Do you bring every thought captive before Christ? Do you actually have a Christ centred mind. You lacking self-control? Where is your mind this morning? Colossians 3.2 tells us it should be focused on the things above – but how often do we actually think of eternity? Of Christ during a day?
1 Peter 5.8 be aware of what is around you. we often lack self-control because we are blind to what is going on around us and within us. We are often spiritually blind to the spirit realm around us. We seriously need to open our eyes – not to see demons under everything and every common cold as a spiritual attack but we are so reluctant to see spiritual things at work in and around us.
Daily Reading of God’s Word – there is no substitute for the Word of God in our lives. As humbly as I can say to you this morning – you will not hear God speak and you will have no self-control in your life if you do not read the Bible.
Regular prayer – again there is no substitute for this basic discipline in your spiritual life. There will be no self-control if you are not praying regularly.
Stop sinning. I want to be honest with you this morning – as your pastor I am tired of hearing excuses for sin. I am tired of hearing ‘therapeutic’ reasons being given for people’s sinful behaviour. I am sorry, I am not dismissing therapeutic work but it is time for a reality check – sin is sin. You can dress it up how you like but it is sin and it is an abomination before God. You lack self-control – stop sinning. Be disciplined.
Keep good company. That sounds like old-fashioned advice doesn’t it – but let me read to you some verses from Psalm 1. You know if you took each of those verses this week and applied them to your life you would see a remarkable development in your self-control. Bad company corrupts good character. Please do not come to me and tell me that it is a means of evangelism – the truth is you are more likely to fall down than for your friends to come to Christ. I want to say something to some of you this morning which you will not want to hear. God is not fooled by your life. The rector isn’t even fooled by your life. It is a sinful lack of self-control to run with the fox and hunt with the hounds. You cannot be a Christian here on a Sunday and live as you please with your friends. Your company reveals more about you than you realise. Keep good company. Ecclesiastes 4.10 – cultivate spiritual friendships. I Corinthians 15.33 curtail the bad influences on your life.
Admit you have a problem with self-control and yield to the Lordship of Christ in your life – Galatians 5.16. Job 31.1 practice good habits and welcome gracious corrections – Samson should have listened to the correction and he would not have fallen into sin and captivity.
Babies have no self-control – they need someone else to feed them, clothe them, bathe them but eventually they grow and mature and do all these things for themselves. Self-control is a sign of growing up. So this morning – it is time that as Christian believers and as a Christian church we held one another accountable to be self-controlled. To lovingly no longer accept the respectable sin of not controlling ourselves.
You know the area in your life this morning that you need self-control. You need to pray about it and then you need to get on board and be disciplined about it.
Amen.
