Summary: Paul frankly discloses his spiritual balance sheet in terms of What he Renounced and What he Received in converting to Christianity, and looking back 30 years later, What he once Counted and What he still Counts.

PAUL’S SPIRITUAL AUTOBIOGRAPHY

Nothing fascinates me more than a good biography. Perhaps, like me, you’re curious to know the motives that are behind the person’s actions and to learn how his character develops. It’s all the more interesting when a great man or woman write their own life story - an autobiography - where freely and frankly the veil of their private life is lifted and allows us to make our own assessment of the real person.

It would be wonderful to have a full-scale autobiography of Paul, the Apostle - one of the greatest men who ever lived. That wasn’t to be, but at least we do have some extracts of his life and work in the Acts of the Apostles and quite a selection of his writings in his correspondence with the churches. He wasn’t a man to write much about himself, but occasionally by way of illustrating a point and in a way that was glorifying his Lord, he would give a personal detail. One of these rare passages is found in Philippians 3. In this remarkable chapter he tells us something about himself and his experience of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Paul has just had to issue a stern warning to his converts at Philippi about the Jewish teachers, the Judaisers. Wherever Paul taught, they followed him and tried to undo his work. It was the teaching of Paul that we are saved by grace alone, that salvation is the free gift of God. It’s something that we can never earn and never deserve, but we can humbly and thankfully accept what God has offered us. Paul taught that the offer of God in Christ was to all men, of all nations. But the Judaisers wouldn’t have this. They maintained that if a man wished to be saved he must earn credit in the sight of God: he could only gain acceptance with God by carrying out the requirements of the Law of Moses. This made salvation dependent on the efforts of men and was fundamentally opposed to the salvation that Paul had received. And so in passionate personal references he argues out the point from his own experience. In the first place we learn:

WHAT PAUL RENOUNCED, AND WHAT HE RECEIVED

He begins by telling us that if any man has reason to boast, or to be proud of his achievements, that man was himself. He sets out his credentials. He doesn’t do so to boast, or to bring credit to himself. He does so to show that he enjoyed every privilege, which a Jew could enjoy and had risen to the highest ranks of its religion and yet he had deliberately, and willingly abandoned it all for the sake of Jesus Christ. He catalogues his privileges in an imposing list. There was his:

Natural Advantages

Paul refers to his religious advantage: he had been circumcised when he was eight days old to comply with the commandment of God to Abraham. He was pointing out that he wasn’t a proselyte who had come later into the Jewish faith. He was a true-blooded Jew from the cradle and so can speak with the greatest authority upon the value of Jewish rituals.

Then there was his racial advantage: he was born of the race of Israel. When the Jews wished to stress their special relationship to God it was the word "Israelite" they used. This was the covenant name of the elect, the chosen race. Paul is proud to claim membership of it. Other peoples could trace their decent to Abraham - the Ismaelites and the children of Esau, the Edomites, but it was the Israel-ites alone who could trace their descent to Jacob, whom God had called by the name Israel. By calling himself an Israelite, Paul stressed the absolute purity of his ancestry.

Paul records his ancestral advantage: for he was of the tribe of Benjamin. This tribe had a special place in the aristocracy of Israel. The claim was that Benjamin was the child of Rachael, the well-loved wife of Jacob, and of all the twelve patriarchs, Benjamin alone had been born in the Promised Land. It was from this tribe that Saul, the first King of Israel, had come. So then, Paul claims that from his birth he was a God-fearing, law-observing Jew: his Jewish pedigree was pure and he belonged to the most aristocratic tribe of the Jews. We might say that Paul had good family connections, but is that sufficient in life?

He adds to the list his family advantage: he was a Hebrew son of Hebrew parents. This tells us that the language in which he was reared was the mother tongue of his race. All over the world there were communities of Jews but often they had forgotten Hebrew, their own national language. The point Paul is making is that he was a real Hebrew for although he spoke in Greek he had learned the Hebrew tongue as well. Rather like a Guernsey person saying that he or she at least understands the patois as well! These were the privileges that came to him by birth. And then he goes on to list his:

Religious Achievements

He tells his readers he was a trained Pharisee. The Pharisees were the strictest sect of the Jewish religion. The name means "the separated ones". They had separated themselves off from all common life in order to make it the one aim and duty of their lives to keep every smallest detail of the Law - and Paul had done so to the best of his knowledge. As a Pharisee Paul had dedicated his life to the scrupulous observance of his religion. John Wesley would have had much in common with Paul. When he was a young man at Oxford University he founded the "Holy Club" with the intention that he and his friends should live well-ordered lives in God’s service, and yet he was still some years away from coming into a real relationship with Jesus as his personal Saviour. But one had to admire the standards of both Paul and John Wesley.

Paul proves he was a zealous Jew by pointing out that he was a persecutor of the church. So fanatical had he been that he had tried to wipe out the opponents of Judaism, the hated Nazarenes, the followers of Jesus. We know from the story of the first years of Christianity that he was a leader in killing and imprisoning Christian believers. He had in his heart a burning zeal for what he thought was the cause of God. Doesn’t it show how we can sincerely wrong! So Paul states his attainments - a record in Judaism which no man could fault. These were things in which he had confidence as an unconverted man. There’s something of a "do-it-yourself" building up of merit before God.

All these things Paul might have claimed to set down on the credit side of his life’s statement, but when he met Christ he wrote them all off as nothing more than useless. His con-version was the turning point of his life when he realised that his spiritual accountancy system was fatally flawed: what he had been accumulating as "profit" suddenly turned to worthless ashes before God. He added them up again in the light of God’s values and it came to zero. "It was once profit," he said, "and now it’s loss."

Values can be completely reversed in certain circumstances. You may have heard the story of how when the "Titanic" was sinking, a rich lady was in her cabin when the order to abandon ship was given. There was no time for packing possessions. She noticed two things on her dressing table - her jewel box and a bowl of oranges. She made a rapid assessment of what was most valuable to her in the situation she was in now. Wisely she abandoned her jewels and quickly grabbed some oranges that might give nourishment on the open sea but where jewels would be valueless. The same sort of realisation came to Paul. The things that he believed to be his glories were in fact quite valueless when it came to facing his God. "But what things" states Paul, the ritual, the race, the religion, the righteous - things, says Paul, "that were gain, those I counted loss for Christ."

Paul had to abandon all confidence these things in order to become a believer in the Lord Jesus. All human achievement has to be laid aside when we come to Christ, otherwise we could claim some merit for our salvation. But the salvation that God offers in the Lord Jesus Christ is all of grace - all of his unmerited favour and mercy. In becoming a Christian all claims to God’s favour in self-righteousness, good works, personal achievements or qualities must be abandoned as loss. Paul had more of these than any man, but did he rely on them? No, he renounced them!

It wasn’t that there was anything wrong in those things. In fact, the race to which he belonged was divinely created. The religion that he followed stemmed from divine revelation. But what Paul came to realise was that all these things had their fulfil-ment in the Lord Jesus Christ, and that they, of themselves, couldn’t give him acceptance with God. The sacrifices and rituals weren’t intended as an end in themselves, but as means to an end, only stepping-stones to bring men to a knowledge of Christ. So Paul unreservedly renounced all dependence on these things, and turned to their fulfil-ment in the Lord Jesus Christ.

I wonder if we’re still clinging to some cherished achievement or natural gift that we believe will bring us favour with God? They may appear superficially attractive but they haven’t any eternal value. The key to turning this loss into profit, the negative values into positives, is faith in Jesus. The spelling of the word faith can help us. F - forsaking, A - all, I, T - take, H - him: faith in Christ is the answer.

We have seen what Paul renounced, but what did he receive? Paul received a new nature. Paul states that the Christian only boasts in what he has received - the Lord Jesus Christ. The only boast of the Christian is in what Christ has done for him; his only glory is the Cross. The hymnwriter puts it: "In the Cross of Christ I glory towering o’er the wrecks of time."

The Christian is the person who has no confidence in the flesh, that is, his own achievements, his own merits, but places his confidence only in the grace of God. All the things that Paul once had confidence in were external, but the work of grace that had taken place in his heart on believing in Christ was inward. So though he renounced what he once held dear, he received something far better, a living relationship with Christ. Now we must go on to see:

WHAT PAUL ONCE COUNTED, AND WHAT HE NOW COUNTS

Paul is still drawing up his spiritual Balance Sheet. He looks back to his decision to follow Christ. "What things were gain to me, those 1 counted loss for Christ." But what does he feel now, 30 years later? He has suffered privation, persecution, imprisonment, shipwreck, he has come near to death, and he bears in scars on his body the marks of the Lord Jesus. Does he regret that initial transaction of grace with Jesus Christ? Not at all!

Paul goes on to speak, this time in the present tense "Yes, and I still count all things loss." If ever there was a man who could point to positive achievements in his Christian life, it was Paul. There was his success in the ministry, having been the instrument in God’s hand in the formation of many churches. There was his undoubted ability and recognition as an Apostle and Christian leader. There was his invaluable contribution to the setting down in writing of the Christian doctrine. There was his fortitude in suffering and perseverance in the face of difficulty. All this that stood to his credit he counted as nothing in comparison with one thing. It was the all-surpassing value of what it means to know Jesus Christ, his Lord.

The key to understanding how Paul felt is in the word "knowledge". His wasn’t a superficial experience with his Lord. It was a knowledge that was intimate, which glows with the warmth of a direct relationship. There’s a progress, a development in his Christian experience, like a river, ever deepening and widening on its course to the sea. Some 30 years earlier he counted certain things loss. But now he goes further. The word "loss" is not sufficient; he goes beyond that. Now, he says "I count them as refuse." Paul had a new driving force in his life - "that I may gain Christ." The Christian life must be lived on Christ’s terms if it is to bring satisfaction and peace. Paul’s experience teaches us that there’s a price to be paid - all values that are opposed to Christ’s must be seen as refuse.

There’s an illuminating passage in an interview I read of the Rev. John Stott, perhaps the most respected man of the Anglican evangelicals. He was asked what he believed was the greatest hindrance to the spread of the gospel, and replied that it was personal ambition and empire building. He himself had been challenged in this way, but had to learn to deny himself. He would have loved to stay on at Cambridge as an academic, but God called him to the pastorate. Later on he could have become a bishop, but this would have hindered his ministry of preaching, writing and leading missions to which he had been called. He had the desire to marry, but could find no assurance from God in the matter. It has been difficult and lonely, he says, but he has no doubt that he has done the work God wanted him to do. Of course, there’s only one John Stott, and there’s only one of you and me - we’re all different, but the principle is the same for each one of us.

God knows us as individuals and he will tell us by his Spirit what is our calling and the lifestyle that is right for us. There’s a saying that "What is good is the enemy of the best". It’s knowing Christ that’s what counts for Paul. It’s his supreme passion. He wishes to become entirely "wrapped up" in Christ, so that Jesus will be all the world to him. This total identification with Christ, not only in mind but in heart; not in theory only but in practice too, has been the hallmark of the choicest of God’s servants through the ages. There comes to mind C.T. Studd, the founder of Worldwide Evangelization Crusade, a famous cricketer in his youth and a rich man who gave away a fortune so that he might serve God more effectively. He took as his motto, "If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for him".

The challenge that comes out of Paul’s words is two-fold: Have we renounced the things that prevent us coming to a saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ? Every human being is unique in God’s sight and he treats us as individuals, calling us in various ways. Ultimately the basic issue has to be faced - we can only be saved on God’s terms; all others must be utterly renounced as loss. The second part of the challenge is that having received Christ: What is the driving force in our lives? To use Paul’s words, what is it that counts? Is Christ, as it were, becoming ever bigger in our affections?

Paul had tremendous natural advantages, he had achieved much before and even much more after his conversion, but when he compares them with know-ing Christ, they were just things to be renounced and to be counted as loss, as refuse. When the story of our lives is written, ultimately only two questions will be asked, "Do you know Christ?" and "How much do you know him?" I leave the questions with you.