Stewardship of Our Words
James 3:1-12
6-29-08
Intro
When I was about 8 years old my friends were joining the Cub Scouts. I wanted to be with them so I asked my mother if I could join too. I didn’t know why at the time; but she tried to talk me out of it. But then I would see my friends at school and they would tell me how fun it was. So I kept asking until Mom agreed to let me join. In those days Dad was severely depressed and we were a lot poorer than the other kids at school. Our house didn’t look like the other kids houses. We were at the bottom of the social ladder. When we talked with the Den Mother she said there was no place for me. I knew what she meant. She and the other mothers did not want me in the club with their kids. Although I can’t remember the den mother’s exact words, I remember the pain I felt. I remember the sense of shame and rejection. The words had a powerful effect on me.
Have you ever had words spoken to you that left you feeling that way? Have you ever had words said about you that made you feel less than everybody else?
That Den Mother probably forgot all about what she had said within a few weeks. But I didn’t forget. It had an effect upon me for a very long time. It influenced the way I viewed myself. It caused me to relate different to the other kids. It reinforced a message that I had received from a number of other sources. Words matter! Words can wound much more than sticks and stones. Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue....”
In our text James talks about the tongue. He introduced the subject back in James 1:26, “If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless.” That is an astonishing statement. Do you mean that I can be very involved in church, very involved in the lives of other Christians—and it counts for nothing? “If anyone among you....” James is talking to people in the church. But he’s talking to self-deceived people—religious people who can’t control their tongues. They praised God during the worship service just like everybody else. But during the week they are gossiping and slandering other people. And James says their religion is useless. It counts for nothing.
Now in Chapter 3 James expounds upon that. The stewardship of our words, according to James, is a serious matter. He tells us why in our text.
I. Our tongues can assert a powerful influence (1-4).
What we think and say sets the direction of our lives. What we say to others influences them and their decisions.
James uses two metaphors to illustrate the power of the tongue. First he likens it to a bit in a horse’s mouth. Isn’t it amazing how a 170 lb man can control and direct a 2000 lb horse? He does it with a bit. The bit is placed in the horse’s mouth. When the bit is pulled to the left the horse goes that way. When it’s pulled to the right the horse moves that direction. If the rider pulls back on the bit the horse stops. That horses’ whole being is directed by what’s going on in his mouth. James wants us to think about the significance of the tongue. It is a small member—something we might discount as relatively unimportant. But James says to you and me, what you say is very important. It’s not magic; but it is important.
The second metaphor is the rudder on a ship. A huge ship is controlled by the direction of the rudder. Relatively speaking the rudder is small compared to the whole ship. But that’s where the direction of the whole thing is determined.
When Israel was in the wilderness, they started talking. They talked about what was missing in their lives. There wasn’t enough water. They were tired of the manna. They wanted meat instead. They murmured and complained when they should have been thanking God for His goodness. Instead of focusing on what God had done for them, they focused on what they thought was wrong. In I Cor. 10 Paul used them as an example of what not to do. He wrote, “Nor let us commit sexual immorality, as some of them did, and in one day twenty-three thousand fell; 9 nor let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed by serpents; 10 nor complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer” (1 Cor 10:8-10). They talked themselves out of the blessing God was trying to give them. We don’t want to use our tongues that way.
David sang in Ps 34:1 “I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.” The best way to guard your mouth from murmuring and complaining is to fill it with thanksgiving. Sometimes you sing a song: “God is so good; He’s so good to me.” Sometimes you give a testimony of how God answered prayer and helped you in your time of need. We need to encourage ourselves toward thankfulness and we need to encourage each other to be thankful. Nobody is blessed by a grip session. The solutions to problems are not found by complaining. Phil. 4:6 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” We want to cultivate a culture of gratitude and thanksgiving in our personal lives and in this church. Amen? Nobody wants to go to church with a bunch of gripers. Nobody wants to go to work with complainers. And nobody wants to live with negative people. We can either form a habit of being discontent and grumbling or we can form a habit of being appreciative and thankful. And whichever we do, it will be contagious.
The influence of the tongue is especially strong in teachers. It’s especially alarming to think about the stewardship of words when you are up here speaking to groups of people. James says that teachers will receive a stricter judgment than other people. Their influence has greater ramifications. Notice the exhortation given in James 3:1 “My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment.” In the Jewish culture Rabbis’ were highly respected. They had a lot of influence on people’s lives. And remember James is speaking primarily to Jewish Christians. When people see teachers in a place of honor and influence it’s natural to want to step into that. But James says we had better do that cautiously. There is a responsibility that comes with the authority.
I am amazed at the strictness of God’s judgment on Moses. In Numbers 20 the children of Israel were complaining because there was no water. Moses and Aaron fell on their faces and sought God. The glory of God appeared to them and God told Moses to speak to the rock and water would be provided. In the heat of the moment Moses struck the rock twice rather than just speak to it. Num 20:12 “Then the LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron, ‘Because you did not believe Me, to hallow Me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them.’” That seems so stern. Here Moses has faithfully obeyed God. These people have just about driven him crazy. He blows it this one time. And God says to him, “You don’t get to lead these people into the promise land.” Why did God judge him so sternly? To whom much is given, much is required. Moses knew better. In his leadership role, he also represented God. His act of disobedience misrepresented God. God could not and would not let it slide. The point we need to see is this. Teach if God has called and equipped you to do it. Even then realize the responsibility involved. But never grasp for a position like that just because you want power and respect. I suspect there were people teaching in James’ audience that had no business teaching the Word of God. So James has a special reminder for those exercising leadership through their teaching. James 3:2 “For we all stumble in many things.” Acknowledging our own vulnerability to failure, teachers should take the warning to heart and depend heavily upon the Lord.
Sometimes people think they can say things and it really doesn’t matter. After all we’re just visiting. But Jesus told us that our words will be judged (everyone of them). Matt. 12:36-37 “But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. 37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." Word matter; they matter a lot.
They matter because
II. Our tongues have destructive potential (5-6).
Now James introduces a third metaphor to describe the power of the tongue. He is countering the tendency to dismiss the matter as relatively unimportant. The sin of murder, that’s important. In the church world we really get upset about adultery and even more upset about homosexuality. But church people can yak & yak and gossip and slander and hardly realize they’re doing anything wrong. It seems like such a small offense.
“Well,” says James, “a little spark of fire doesn’t seem like such a big deal either. But look at the destruction it can cause.” Whole forests burn up because someone carelessly dropped a cigarette on the ground. The problem is this. The fire started by that little spark can spread and destroy very fast. A couple of years ago Jeanie and I were visiting with some friends in Rogersville one evening. Our host had started a small fire in the barbeque pit and come back in the house to get something. It was in the fall and dry leaves were all over the ground. The winds were a bit gusty and blew a few sparks outside the pit into the leaves. In a matter of minutes the fire was spreading. We all ran outside and started beating the flames and pouring water on the fire. I was trying to keep the fire from reaching a large propane tank. I was absolutely amazed how quickly that fire spread and how hard it was to put out. A neighbor called the fire department and everything turned out alright. But it was a personal experience with James’ point in verse 5.
In verse 6 James talks about how our speech can defile our whole being. It can mess everything up. It can obstruct our fellowship with God. It can destroy relationships with other people. It can corrupt our own character and personal integrity. In Matt 15 the scribes and Pharisees got upset with Jesus’ disciples because they had failed to perform the ritual cleansing prescribed by their tradition. In response Jesus said, “Do you not yet understand that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and is eliminated? 18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. 19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. 20 These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man” (Matt 15:17-20). Evil speaking, gossip, slander, complaining—these have a defiling effect upon who we are.
Have you ever started telling something and deep inside the Holy Spirit said, “No, don’t say that?” It’s awkward because we want to finish the sentence. But the best thing we can do is stop in the middle of the sentence and apologize to the other person for speaking out of turn. When we tell something we shouldn’t be telling, we not only defile ourselves but we defile the listener. Of course, the listener has some responsibilities too.
A gossipy tongue is a dangerous thing
If its owner is evil at heart
He can give whom he chooses many a sting
That will woefully linger and smart.
But the gossipy tongue would be balked in its plan
For causing heartburning and tears,
If it weren’t helped out by the misguided man
Who possesses two gossipy ears.
I like Beth Moore’s suggestion to the listener. Short-circuit the gossip by throwing out your favorite thing about the person in question. If you want, you can follow up by asking them, “What do you like most about the person?” We can usually direct the conversation to something more edifying by doing something like that. An old Spanish proverb is good to keep in mind when someone is trying to fill your ears with gossip: “Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.”
Prov. 11:13 “A talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter.” Someone has said, “The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail more than his tongue.” Lev 19:16 issues a strong command, “You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people....” How many marriages, how many churches have been ripped apart by talebearers. Prov. 16:20 offers an interesting observation. “Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; And where there is no talebearer, strife ceases.” The next verse says, “As charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife.”
Why do people gossip? Why do they denigrate others? Is it to make themselves seem important to the person they’re talking to? Is it to feel more powerful themselves? Is it to gain an ally against the other person? If we have a problem with someone, Matt 18 tells us to go to that person and work it out. We are not at liberty to spread the problem to other people. It takes courage to speak directly to the other party with whom we’re in conflict. The cowardly way is to talk about it to other people.
James is addressing issues that have profound influence upon the life of a church. When people’s tongues are wagging through the week, they have grieved the Holy Spirit. It affects the dynamics of worship. It affects the relationships people have with each other. Any congregation that wants the power of God in operation—any congregation that wants a wholesome healing community has to deal with the stewardship of their words. By your words you are justified and by your words you are condemned.
A third reason we must steward our words carefully is this.
III. Our tongues tend to be very unruly (7-8).
James 3:7-8 “For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. 8 But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”
James compares taming the tongue to taming wild beasts. And he says the wild beasts are easier to deal with than the tongue. About the time you think you’ve got it under control—it pops up and says something it should not be saying. Does anybody know what I’m talking about? Now when that happens we have a choice to make. We can give it free reign and let more garbage come out. We can stop and hope nobody noticed the error we just made. That’s better than continuing. But there is a third option that is even better. We can immediately confess our sin to the person we’re speaking to and ask forgiveness for defiling them. The more committed we are to doing that the easier it is to keep our mouths shut, Amen? If I know I’m going to have to fess up about my sin—and possibly go to the third party and ask their forgiveness for taking about them—I’m going to think twice before I say anything.
The Rotary Club has a four-way test for conversation.
1. Is it the truth?
2. Is it fair to all concerned?
3. Will it build goodwill and better friendship?
4. Will it be beneficial to all concerned?
That’s pretty good for a secular organization.
Someone came up with an acronym that is very helpful. The acronym is THINK
T- Is it True?
H- Is it Helpful?
I – Is it Inspiring
N- Is it Necessary?
K- Is it Kind?
One characteristic of the Prov. 31 woman is: Verse 26, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.” Is the law of kindness on your tongue? If so you will minister healing rather than death. The tongue can be a source of blessing and encouragement if we submit it to God as an instrument of His righteousness.
Col. 4:6 “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.” We need to season our words with heavy portions of grace when we talk about one another. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Encourage the people you’re talking to. Col 3:16 “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.” We can do none of that in our own strength. But if we will yield ourselves to God, ask Him to take charge and tame our tongue, He can and He will do it.
Words are important because:
IV. Our tongues reveal the true condition of our hearts (9-12).
James 3:9-12 “With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? 12 Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh.”
Do we understand the inconsistency of coming to church and blessing God—singing His praises—then later speaking evil of others? That represents the kind of double-mindedness James talked about in Chapter one. It represents a hypocrisy that is actually self-deceiving. On the one hand we praise God—we give Him the glory and honor He deserves. Then we turn around and curse a human being that is a reflection of His image.
James uses two metaphors to make his point. The first is a spring of water. No spring is fresh water and salt water at the same time. It’s either clean and drinkable or it’s not. It’s either contaminated or not contaminated. If the source is clean then the water will be clean. If the source is polluted then the water flowing from the spring is polluted.
This principle is also true in husbandry. You know the nature of the plant by what it produces. A fig tree does not bear olives; it produces figs because it’s a fig tree. The grapes produced by a grapevine are the evidence that it’s a grapevine. You shall know them by their fruit. So if my life is full of slander toward other people, unwholesome talk, slander, evil speaking then that is a revelation of the condition of my heart. To fix the problem I must address the heart issues as well as the speech. James is about to deal with some of that a few verses down. Look at James 3:14 “But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking (where) in your heart.... “ Prov. 4:23-24 “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. 24 Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips” (NIV).
Jesus said that the mouth is simply an overflow of the heart. “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matt 12:34). Then he adds, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things” (verse 35). That is exactly what James is saying. Deal with the idle talk. Stop speaking evil. But address the problem at its source. Is there unforgiveness or bitterness in the heart? Is there selfish ambition or pride? What’s behind the slander? Repent of those attitudes of heart that are inciting the speech.
Back in verse 2 of our text, James says, “If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect (teleios) man....” He has become what God intends him to become. He has reached a maturity that distinguishes him as one under the control of the Holy Spirit. The proof is in the pudding—and the pudding is our speech.
In Isa. 6, Isaiah had an awesome experience with God. He saw the Lord “high and lifted up.” He saw the glory of God. How many remember what his response was?
"Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King, The LORD of hosts."
His words and the speech of those in his community revealed a serious problem. In the light of God’s glory he knew he could not ignore that problem. So he cried out to God for help. He acknowledged his sin. And God heard his cry. God sent deliverance. God sent an angel to take a coal off the brazen altar and touch his lips. The brazen altar was where the blood of the sacrificial animals was shed. The brazen altar points to the ultimate sacrifice of Calvary. There is cleansing in the blood of Jesus. There is healing for the person who is speaking out of a wounded heart. You and I don’t have to fix this problem on our own. We have to cry out to God for help the way Isaiah did. But when we do that in sincerity God has an answer. He can touch our lips and change our hearts. He can transform our speech so that we are edifying one another in love. He can make your lips an instrument of kindness and healing. It doesn’t happen when we deny the obvious. It happens when we cry out like Isaiah, “Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips....”
Let us pray
For NOTES/SOURCES go to www.CrossroadsNixa.org
Richard Tow
Gateway Foursquare Church
Nixa, Missouri
www.GatewayNixa.org
TEXT: James 3:1-12
My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment. 2 For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. 3 Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. 4 Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. 5 Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.
See how great a forest a little fire kindles! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. 8 But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? 12 Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh.
