“It’s not fair!” Avner kicked the kicked the fencepost where the calf now sizzling on the spit had been tethered not an hour before. “It’s just not fair. That brat has been spoiled rotten ever since he was born. I used to think some demon must have switched babies in the crib, how Abba and Eema could have produced such a - well. Well, I know they were grateful to have another son after all the girls, but you would have thought he was the Messiah or something, the fuss they made. "Share your toys with your little brother!" "Pick up after your little brother!" Aaron’s always gotten away with everything. I thought we were finally rid of him, after that last stunt he pulled. How he ever dared show his ungrateful face around here again I’ll never know. But does the old man finally hold him accountable? Does he finally say, “enough’s enough!” No, it’s just the same as it’s always been only worse. Now it’s "Kill the fatted calf for your little brother!” I raised that calf for my wedding day.
Do you know what my brother did? Do you have any idea what that - that - that worthless, lying, lazy, drunken hooligan did? A couple of years ago Aaron went to our father and asked for his share of the estate right then and there. Our law tells us not to divide up the family property before the owner dies. Aaron should have been beaten black and blue! Any other father in our village would have, or at the very least kicked him out of the house. Aaron might as well have said straight out, “I wish you were dead.” But did he get into trouble? Did he even so much as get a stern talking-to? Not a word! And when Aaron went even further and talked our father into giving him the cash value so he could spend it right away, what do you suppose Abba did? Right! Aaron got everything he asked for! And then the next morning he just waltzed off down the road, leaving me just as he always did with all the responsibility.
Yeah, yeah, I can hear you say it now. I got my share, too. Abba divided the estate between us. But that’s not the point. First of all, I didn’t ask for anything. And I knew perfectly well that if I had said anything about how improper it was, and that this was just the sort of thing you could expect from a lifetime of over-indulgence, I would have been ignored or told to be nicer, just like always. But does Abba ever listen to my advice? Not where Aaron is concerned, that’s for sure! Anyway, the second thing is, that I knew that when Abba got old and couldn’t work any more it would be my responsibility to take care of him, because even if Aaron were still around, which of course you couldn’t count on, he wouldn’t carry his fair share of the burden any more than he ever had. No, it’s always, “Avner, you take care of it.” Well, I’m tired of fighting a losing battle. Let Aaron take the money and go. I knew Father would miss him, the old fool, but we’d all be better off without him. It was almost worth the price.
Of course I kept my ears open for any news. And the way Aaron carried on was just what the village gossips loved best, and every traveler had a tale that topped the one before. Most of them didn’t have the nerve to tell father all the lurid details, but I’m sure he heard, all the same, even though he pretended everything was just fine and that Aaron would be coming home any day.
Now, you may not know this, because Abba is really into the simple life; he says that displaying wealth is an offense to those less fortunate, but our family is pretty well fixed. The land is good, and we’ve taken care of it, and our livestock are among the finest in Galilee. So to give Aaron his share in gold and silver, Father had to go to a money-lender - I know, that’s just asking for trouble, but the only alternative was to sell some land and that father would never do, not even for Aaron. Of course I didn’t ask for my share in coin, I just took a deed for the upper pastures and the vineyard. But we’ve all had to go without, and even to postpone making improvements, in order to make the payments. So to watch Aaron throw away - and on Gentiles, yet! the fruit of generations upon generations of faithful stewardship was more than any sane man could be expected to endure. If anyone else lost their property to Gentiles they’d be publicly disowned. But not Abba. Oh, no. Even after nearly three years he’d still go out after supper every evening and look down the road, just to see if Aaron was coming home.
But I was going to tell you what Aaron had been doing off there among the Gentiles. It was just what I expected. He started off living it up, easy pickings for any con artist or trollop who flattered him into thinking he was a sophisticated man-about-town instead of a country bumpkin with holes in his purse. It would have been different, I suppose, if he had any sort of luck, but I’ll tell you if that boy bet on the favorite he’d fall on the home stretch, and as for dice! Well. You get the picture.
It didn’t take long, a year or so, before we stopped hearing anything. Aaron had dropped out of sight, leaving dozens of unpaid bills and who knows, maybe even a bastard or two behind him. Fortunately, no Gentile would ever dream of trying to claim kinship with a Jewish family, so we were safe on that account. Abba would have probably even taken in a goyische grandbaby and divided up the estate again.
Just when the cash flow was finally improving - we’d made huge profits on last year’s wheat and barley because of the famine to the south - and I was beginning to think it was safe to plan for the future, maybe even finally get married, I heard from Tobias, a merchant we did business with, that he thought he’d seen Aaron working for one of the big landowners over in Decapolis. He couldn’t be sure, he said with barely concealed delight to be the bearer of such deliciously disgraceful news, but the fellow tending the pigs certainly looked like Aaron, except thin and dirty and ragged. I told Tobias that he must be mistaken, that Aaron was up in Syria doing something with horses, and if he knew what was good for him he’d keep his mouth shut and not disturb Father with unfounded rumors.
But I knew it was true. I knew it had to be Aaron. And he might as well be dead. Everyone would be better off if he actually were dead. He was eating unclean food, living with unclean animals, there was no way he could be keeping the Sabbath. Nothing could erase the shame. He was cut off from any self-respecting Jewish family forever. I wasn’t going to tell father, of course not, it would break his heart.
“What? - the guests are arriving and I’m supposed to come join the family? Tell Abba to go ahead without me, I’ll eat later.”
Well, as you might guess, the boy wonder has come home. And father has fallen all over him as if he had been raised from the dead instead of disgracing the family. The calf I’ve been fattening up so carefully is only half of it. Father’s own signet ring is on Aaron’s finger and his best robe and tunic are draped all over his scrawny body. Well, at least he washed the pig manure off first. But I’m not going to be part of this farce. I don’t care if my absence will embarrass my father in front of all his friends. Hasn’t he taken me for granted all these years? If he wants to pretend everything is just hunky dory, well, he can do it without me, that’s all.
“Abba - Father - you shouldn’t be out here, you should be in with your guests!
“But they’re not my guests. How can I treat Aaron with honor when he’s shamed the family? How can you treat him with honor? Don’t you realize what he’s been doing for the last year? We shouldn’t even be breaking bread with him, let alone showing him off to the neighbors. It would take him years to make up for everything he’s cost us! I’m the one who worked off the debt he put us in. I’ve broken my back slaving for the family, for you, I’ve gone without, I’ve put off my marriage, I’ve tried to make up for everything Aaron cost you and you still love him best! You’ve never even given me so much as a kid to treat my friends to a meal, and here you are taking the best calf in the barn for that - that - worthless parasite!
“What do you mean, everything you have is mine? Isn’t it the other way around, everything I have is yours? For you to throw away on Aaron every time he has a whim? What do I have to do to get the credit I deserve? Why do I get punished for being responsible and hard-working? Would you be happier if I had run your estate into the ground?
"Well, yes, I am proud of what I’ve accomplished. I agree, there’s no better feeling in the world than having people twice my age ask my advice, but - how could he have been jealous of me? He’s been the center of attention every day of his life! Even if it’s not the kind of attention I would have wanted... Well, you never said you were proud of me. How could Aaron think you wanted him to be more like me when I thought you wanted me to be more like him?
“But wouldn’t it be better if he were dead? Even if he’s changed, even if he’s sorry, how can he even live with himself after what he’s done? How will he ever feel clean again? How will he be able to hold up his head in town, no respectable family will let him marry one of their daughters...
“Why - yes - I suppose I am better off than he is. I never saw it that way before. I suppose it is tough to have to live up to someone who always does everything they’re supposed to - but why didn’t you tell me?
“Oh, I see. You couldn’t get past the wall of resentment that I’d built up. That’s true, I never came to you except to complain. I just went off and worked twice as hard. I never felt as if there was enough love to go around; it seemed as if everything you gave Aaron was coming right out of my pocket or out of my share of whatever it was you had to give - time or attention or whatever. You were always chasing after him or getting him out of trouble or cleaning up his messes, you never had time to notice what I was doing.
“That’s true, I could have come with you. We could have been partners. I could have done more than just the farm work. I could have shared your worries and you could have helped me realize that I mattered to you. But it never occurred to me that Aaron needed a brother as well as father. I didn’t realize that I was the one who chose to cut myself off from you.
“It looks like I need to do some repenting, too, doesn’t it. Can you forgive me?"
