PARENTING 101
The other night, I sat down to watch a little TV and unwind before bed time. Just as I sat down, Drew started climbing on me and asking me to wrestle with him, like he does almost every night. Let me tell you, I was tired. It had been a long day, and all I wanted to do was to sit and veg for a while.
I got to thinking though. Drew turned 7 on Friday. Right now, he loves his Daddy and wants me to play with him constantly. In a few years though, he will be busy with his friends. He won’t have nearly as much time for Daddy as he does right now. Right now, when I tell him something, he usually believes it. That will change in a few years. When he becomes a teenager, he will probably question everything I tell him.
I am the only Daddy Drew has ever known, and I pray I will be his only Daddy. With the title “Daddy” or “Mommy” there comes a lot of joy. There comes a lot of opportunity. There also comes a great deal of responsibility. What can you and I do, to help our children grow up to be well-adjusted, mature, God-fearing adults?
In the Bible this morning I would like you to notice with me, 5 basics of good parenting. Look with me please as we see the syllabus to “Parenting 101” found in Deuteronomy.
- Read Deuteronomy 6:1-25
As we look at this passage, we find God had just led the Israelites out of Egypt. They have crossed the Red Sea, and their enemies had been destroyed. God gives them His 10 basic rules for Godly living, and then He says, “Look, this is what’s required if you’re going to succeed in the new land.” First:
I. LEARN ABOUT GOD YOURSELF
God says, “Learn my statues, learn my laws, learn about me.” My friend, if you want to be a great parent, if you want to rear godly children, you must first learn about God yourself. You must first get to know God personally, yourself.
My friend, how are you to teach your children the difference between right and wrong, how are you going to teach your grandchildren about getting the most out of life, if you haven’t learned about God yourself? What are you going to use as your guideline?
Let me ask you my friend, how well do you know God? How well do you know His Word? Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?
A couple of years ago, the leadership team and I went through a study called the 21 laws of leadership. The first law John Maxwell gave in that book, is the “Law of the Lid.” The law of the lid says that you can never take people farther than you have gone yourself. You can never lead them where you haven’t been.
If you want your children to turn out well, if you want to help them along the path to godly living, you must learn the way yourself. The first key to great parenting, is to learn about God yourself.
Second, you must Live What You Profess.
II. LIVE WHAT YOU PROFESS - v6
Verse 6 says, ... these words are to be in your heart. In other words, you things you learn, you must live.
While in school, I had the opportunity to serve as a youth pastor in Arkansas for several years. The Lord blessed while I was there. Some young people came to Christ. We had some fun, and the youth and I learned. But, the greatest obstacle I faced there were the parents.
Do you know how tough it is to try and teach young folks about the difference Jesus can make in your life, when their parents say one thing at church and live something else at home? Do you know how hard it is to teach young people that there are things they need to avoid in life, when they see their parents pursuing those very things?
Folks, if you want your children to be honest, then you must be honest with them. Tell them the truth. Keep your promises to them. If you want them to avoid watching some of the junk on TV that will only tear them down, then don’t let them see you watching your junk on TV. No wonder they don’t understand why they can’t have the newest video game, or the nicest pair of sneakers, when they see you trying to buy your way to happiness. If you want them to understand that who you are is more important than what you have, then let them see you work more on your character than your closet.
If you want your children to be forgiving, then forgive them. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t hold some mistake they made in the past, over their heads. Forgive them. If you want them to be optimistic, hopeful people, then you must live that out in front of them.
To this day, I will pick up hitchhikers. To this day, I will stop and help people who are broken down on the side of the road. Why? Because I saw my Dad do it. He helped people and I learned from his example.
Dads, if you want your daughters to marry a guy who loves her, who respects her and her opinions, then let her see you treating her mother that way. Ladies, if you want your son to marry a great girl who will honor and love him, then let him see you treating his dad that way.
If you want to be a great Mom, a great Dad, then practice what you preach, live what you profess.
III. TEACH WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED - vv 7-9
These verses tell us that we are to talk about God when we are rising up, and laying down. When we are going out, and when we are coming in. In other words, if you are going to be a great parent, then teach what you have learned, and do so at every opportunity.
When you see your children treating their friends well, encourage them. Pat them on the back and tell them how much like Jesus they are right then.
When you are facing a tough time, ask them to pray with you about it, and then when God answers your prayers, tell them about God’s faithfulness.
Parents, teach your children the importance of work. Teach them that a job worth doing, is worth doing right.
When you’re driving down the road and see a sunrise, or a sunset; remind them of what a beautiful world God has made, and of how He made it for us.
Parents, if you want to be a great parent, learn about God yourself. If you want to be a great parent, live what you profess. If you want to be a great parent, teach what you have learned. If you want to be a great parent, guard with all your strength.
IV. GUARD WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH - vv 10-19
There are many things in this world that the Devil uses to distract and destroy people. He uses many tools to try and deceive our children. My friend, if you want to be a great parent, you must guard with all your strength.
There will be things you don’t allow your children to wear.
There will be places you don’t allow your children to go.
There will be things you don’t allow your children to watch.
There will be things you don’t allow your children to do.
There will be things you don’t allow in the house, but you must draw the line. The day will come, the time will come, hopefully, prayerfully, when you may be one of your children’s best friends, but when they are young, when your are home, they don’t need that near as much as they need a parent.
My friend, guard your children with all your strength.
V. PREPARE FOR TRYING TIMES - 20-25
When your son ask you ...
Moms, Dads, there are going to come days when your children are going to ask you why? There are going to come days when they are going to try you, when they are going to test your values, when they are going to chomp at the bit as they are learning their own values, you must prepare for those times. I believe there are several ways you can prepare for the trying times.
a. Discipline when they are young -
- Proverbs 13:24
- Proverbs 29:15
As many of you know, I serve as a Chaplain with the sheriff’s department. Part of my responsibilities is to ride with the deputies. It amazes me, some of the things we see. Perhaps one of the saddest, is parents who call because they are having trouble with their teenage children and they want the police to fix the problem. They want the police to make their children mind. I have news for you, Law Enforcement cannot fix what you did not teach your children when they were growing up. It’s too late. It’s your responsibility when they are young, to teach them to ind. It is your responsibility, when they are young, to teach them that actions have consequences.
The Bible says that a parent who does not discipline, does not love his children. There are going to be trying times when your children get older. Discipline, teach them to mind now.
b. Pray and never stop.
> James 4:2 ... You do not have because you do not ask.
Second, when preparing for the difficult times ahead, pray and never stop. Let me ask you, are you praying for your children & grandchildren’s salvation? Are you praying the Lord will keep them pure? Are you praying the Lord will give them a godly spouse?
Pray, and keep on praying. Pray, and never stop.
