Summary: Our verse gives the essential piece necessary to make all the other articles match.

Colossians 3:14 Essential Dress Wear

1/11/15 D. Marion Clark

Introduction

The school where I once served as a principal had not only a dress code but uniforms which all students must wear. And yet, though they all wore the same clothes, their clothes did not all look the same on the students. Neat students wore their uniforms neatly; slovenly students wore their uniforms slovenly. Something more was needed to make students look distinguished as the code was intended to do. They needed the right attitude.

Last week we studied verses 12-13 to learn what is considered the proper church dress code. It included putting on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, and forgiveness. It is a sharp dress code. Even so, these articles of clothing are not enough by themselves to complete the image intended. Our verse this morning gives the essential piece necessary to make all the other articles match. It presents the right attitude.

Text

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

There are two advantages of having my wife choose what I wear – my clothes match and are appropriate for the occasion. I can select a nice pair of pants, a clean shirt, a fashionable ties, sharp shoes, and a good fitting coat jacket. My challenge is putting all of these articles together so that they match and complement one another. Likewise, I might even get them to match only to find out they are not appropriate for the event I am attending.

That is the Apostle Paul’s concern for the Christians in the Colossae church. He has a solution. He knows of one more piece that will automatically fit all the clothing articles together, no matter the occasion.

put on love which binds everything together in perfect harmony

Love not only goes with everything; it makes everything else look good and match together.

This verse reminds me of the old Coca-Cola commercial: “I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.” Paul wants to teach the church to wear clothes in perfect harmony, and the primary ingredient is not a soda beverage but the trait of love – agape love, that unique New Testament word for Christ-like love.

Love is what allows the other traits to accomplish what is intended for them. Without love, a compassionate heart simply weeps out of pity. The compassionate person goes through lots of tissues without really helping or even showing the kind of compassion the one who is grieving actually wants. We have been around such persons. We would prefer not getting their visit or phone call because of their dramatic display. They seem to be more caught up in their emotion than in how we are responding to their performance. Love restrains compassion from excessiveness, so that it is directed to mourning with those who mourn, rather than using another’s grief to indulge in an emotional display.

Love is what guides kindness, so that, rather it being composed of random acts, it is intentional, truly caring for the individual it is directed toward. It would seem that kindness and love are the same, but without love kindness can be just what the well-intended bumper sticker promotes – random. The random acts might do good, but they are generated more by what the “kind” person likes to do rather than what the receiver actually wants or needs. Like compassion, kindness can be smothering if not done in love.

Without love humility turns precisely into the smarmy, servile caricature that repels rather than is winsome. Of all the virtuous traits, none are made more odious than humility that is lacking in love. But with love, humility actually does put the interests of others first sincerely, so that attention is given to what is best for the other.

Similar to humility, meekness without love turns the wearer into a person who lacks substance. He or she simply wants to be agreeable, but instead of being so they come across as mere people-pleasers. The result is that they please no one, even coming off as being hypocrites, more concerned for how they are perceived. Love gives substance to meekness so that the wearer is seen as a person of integrity and self-assurance, who shows respect to persons of all status. He or she is a person who can turn the other cheek precisely because of being strong and confident in the Lord.

Patience without love is little more than emotional self-control. It keeps the wearer under self-restraint in public, but privately and inwardly is seething in bitterness. He or she has mastered their emotions, not how they actually regard those they find offensive. It is only in love that patience recognizes the worth of others who cause them offense.

Forgiveness with love? It is a mere show. It is a forgiveness that never forgets the sin of the sinner, always ready to bring up the sin again. “Forget about it” means don’t bring up the matter with me because I am never going to forget. It is love that covers a multitude of sins so that forgiveness is accompanied with healing.

Simply put, love makes the traits true virtuous traits accomplishing their intended purposes. Love, furthermore, unites them in such a way that they are working in harmony together. How so?

Consider patience without loving humility. It cannot last if it does not place the interest of others first, which only loving humility can do. Humility is reduced to mere self-debasement if it is not matched with loving-kindness toward others. Without a loving compassionate heart, forgiveness is not possible. Love allows each virtuous trait to be the trait that complements all the others. Love is the bond of unity that makes all the traits work in harmony.

Lessons

At the risk of over-stating my case, I want to re-emphasize the critical necessity of possessing love in the church family. Listen to these admonitions through the New Testament epistles.

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law (Romans 13:8).

Let all that you do be done in love (Romans 16:14).

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13).

For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, but only faith working through love (Galatians 5:6).

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. 14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Galatians 5:13-14).

The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith (1 Timothy 1:5).

If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well (James 2:8).

Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart (1 Peter 1:22).

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love (1 John 4:8).

We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother (1 John 4:19-21).

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another (John 13:35).

Need more be said? Without love for our brothers and sisters in the Lord, we cannot claim to love God. Without such love, we are violators of God’s law, however holy we might strive to be. Without love we do not know God.

What then encompasses love?

Love is an attitude.

This is the point of our verse. Whatever we do, it must be accompanied with an attitude of love.

We can do good works with poor attitude. Your parents knew this and you taught it to your children. “If you can’t do it with the right attitude, don’t do it at all. Don’t roll your eyes at me!” It is true that action will accompany our love. The Apostle John writes in his first letter: “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth” (3:18). And as Rachel Dawes told Bruce Wayne (not knowing that he is Batman), “It’s not what’s underneath you but what you do that defines you.”

But don’t equate love merely with actions. We can do love-like deeds out of unloving attitudes. We may act out of guilt. We may act out of duty. We may act out of desire to win a good reputation. We may act to get someone off our back.

Love, furthermore, is not to be confused with good manners. I bemoan the decline in courtesy and good manners. I do not share the common philosophy that we should just be ourselves, which is code for we should not have to care about whether we offend others. Having said that, we can be courteous out of pride, out of desire to prove we are better, even as a means to put down the person we are being polite to.

Then, when is a deed a deed of love and when does courtesy spring from love? The deed is a deed of love when the attitude accompanying it is a loving attitude, and that simply boils down to this – Do you desire the good of the person you are giving care to and to whom you are showing good manners?

Do you desire that, whatever inconvenience the other person is creating for you, the need of that other person will truly be met? Or will you only feel better knowing that you don’t have to do anything more? Do you desire that the other person’s faith will be made stronger? Or do you prefer not to have to think about them further? Will you count the trouble all worthwhile if the other person does actually benefit from the help you give? Or will you continue to count the cost of having to help?

Love empathizes with others.

Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” When you really do care about what is happening in the life of another, then you love. You do not begrudge their good fortune, and you grieve their bad fortune. You hope for good to come from both. If good fortune falls upon them, you give thanks to God and pray that the receiver will in turn be thankful to him and all the more grow in faith. If bad fortune befalls, you grieve before God and pray that it will be turned to the receiver’s good, drawing him or her all the more to a closer walk and stronger faith in God.

You do not question the good shown to others that you do not like, mourning your own poor fortune and hoping that they will get what they truly deserve. And when bad fortune occurs, you do not rejoice in their ills, pleased that they are getting what they deserve. Look then to your inner response to judge for yourself whether you possess love.

Christian love is Christ-like love.

True love imitates the love of Christ. Jesus Christ is our model. Whatever real love we might see in others and desire to emulate, it is love that is reflective of Christ’s love. Do you want to know how to love? Then study the life and the words of Jesus. He keeps us from self-righteous love, from hypocritical love, and from vacuous love. Vacuous love is the “let’s be nice to everyone” and “let’s tolerate everyone.” In Christ, we see love that is sacrificial and love that is willing to judge what is right and wrong. In Christ, we see love that truly seeks the good of others and not mere toleration of others as long as they don’t bother us.

And in Christ we find the source of love. No, do not look in your heart. Love does not reside there. Do not trust your heart or your instinct. Your heart is not the judge of what is right for anyone, much less for yourself. And no, you do not have it within yourself to love. Your love – as one who has been born again in Christ and made a new creation in him – your love is found in the love shown to you by God in and through Christ. Your love flows from the love of Christ exemplified by his sacrifice and literally poured into you by the Holy Spirit.

If you feel that you are lacking in love (and you most likely are), pray to Christ, meditate on the love of Christ, read his teachings and commands about love, and obey. I have said that deeds of love, if not done in love, cannot be said to be expressions of love. Still do them. It is better to obey out of a poor attitude than to do nothing. As C. S. Lewis commented, obedience is more likely to lead to the right attitude. I am more likely to love my brother and sister if I do what is right for them than by ignoring them.

Love includes truth.

Equating love with niceness is a false equation, as is equating love with avoiding speaking the truth. One does not have to read far into the gospels to find Jesus speaking and acting with less than niceness and speaking hard to bear truth. And so, the Apostle Paul writes in Galatians 6:1: “if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.” And even gentleness can be relative. I doubt Peter considered Paul gentle when (as Paul reported earlier in Galatians 2:11: “But when Cephas [Peter] came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned.”

Love does not mean always have a nice manner and only speak what is pleasant to hear. It means doing and saying what is for the good of the other. If a doctor cares about my welfare, he or she will say things about my habits that I don’t want to hear and is likely to treat me with methods I don’t like. Paul confronted Peter because he cared about Peter’s spiritual condition, as well as that of the Galatian believers who were stumbling because of false teaching. The gospel was being compromised, the most damaging thing that could occur. Lives were at stake. A false gospel is a deadly gospel.

And a silent gospel is a deadly gospel. “If you believe there is a heaven and a hell, and people could be going to hell or not, and you think it’s not worth telling anyone this because it would be socially awkward… How much do you have to hate somebody not to proselytize?” This is the comment of Penn Jillette, noted illusionist and self-avowed atheist.

If you judge the love of a church by its friendliness and nothing else, then you have misjudged a church at the very peril of your soul. A church that does not preach, that does not teach, that does not share the gospel of Jesus Christ because it is afraid to offend you, is more concerned for its perceived reputation with its community than with its Lord.

A church that will not be clear about the gospel – which is that Jesus Christ died for your sins and rose again so that you might be saved through faith in him – if that church confuses the gospel with moralism, teaching that you are saved by your love and your good deeds, that church’s so called love is a dangerous as the person who thinks their home-made concoctions will be better for you because they were made in love or because they don’t hurt to take.

A church that will not tell you that you are a sinner; that you are lost and condemned; that, yes, you do face hell, unless you turn to Jesus Christ in faith – such a church does not love you. Such a church wants to be loved by you. Such a church keeps from you the true love of God in Christ – a love that saves you.

“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 John 4:10).